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Letters From Listeners

Dating After Divorce

Here is the best advice I ever received when divorcing 12 years ago, when my two boys were 1 and 3 years old: Don't date, they are already down one parent. The revolving door of significant others just exacerbates their sense of loss in relationships, which will affect how they choose their potential mates in the future. Then I looked at my soon to be ex-stepdaughter, age 10, and realized that she had had 6+ adults in her life between her parents' love lives. I don't date. My boys' are not at risk for abuse of any kind and they have no drama. My boys are now 13 and 16 and have a solid home life. They have male mentors through the Partners Program. They may not know a typical family unit with two parents, but they know stability and consistency. My love life will begin in 5 years when my youngest goes to college! Until then, I go out with my friends every now and then and bother my teenagers knowing where they are and who they are hanging with. Life is good. May they choose better than I did, as they see the repercussions of not choosing wisely.




Tags: Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Dating, Divorce, Parenting, Personal Responsibility
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