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01/26/2018
Dear Dr. Laura:
Not long ago, I heard you tell a woman who had just lost her husband of 37 years that what she needed over the next few months was "friends, food, and sleep." That is so true! I lost my husband too, and I remember the sheer agony during those early days, and what a difference my best friend made in my life at that time.
I was at a point of just "surviving," but every night, my friend would send me a simple "hello" text message or made a phone call. She didn't try to get me to forget or be distracted - she was just "there," so if I feel, she would help me get up. If I had a good day, she was excited for me. If I was sad, she was sad with me. She did that for over a couple of years! Just a simple "how was your day" text. Her presence was needed on many occasions, and she just knew it. I didn't know it, but she did. "Friends, food and sleep" is a perfect description of what you need at that time when you lose your husband.
It's been nine years now. I have not remarried nor dated. Our daughter graduated from college this past year, so now that she's an adult and stable, I'm considering selling off the business my husband and I had and moving into the next chapter of my life.
My best friend listens to you often, and I hope she'll hear the appreciation I have for her just being there and giving me a push to get out of bed and move when I needed to. I also hope the caller I heard who prompted this email has a friend who can be HER best friend to help her get through the mundane things you "survive" during those early years. Thank you for your clarity and those simple words: "Friends, food and sleep."
Susan
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