Dr. Laura,
In 2009, my wife confessed she had been having an affair. She told me it was because her needs weren't being met so I agreed to go with her to counseling. She said she resented that sex was better for me than it was for her as she had difficulty with having an orgasm during sex. I asked her what I could do and she told me touch her hair, look into her eyes, play romantic music, light a candle. After weeks and months of attempting to fulfil her requests she would often stop me before or during intimacy and ask me, "Aren't you sorry for all the years I went not enjoying sex?" I would say yes, but still she would ask again many times over the next few years. Her counselor told her to dump her resentment but she seemed to hold onto the hurt. One night, I spent 40 minutes trying to pleasure her, but after that time she seemed upset and I asked her what was wrong. She told me I forgot to turn on the music and light the candle.
Later she told me she didn't feel anything when she was with me and I was free to find a girlfriend because she didn't feel up for sex. I had initially thought that overcoming an affair would be relatively easy because I was willing to put it all behind and start over. The challenge came more with the continual cloud of resentment that I couldn't seem to find my way out of. After going through a few years of this, I finally decided I no longer wanted to be married to my wife, but I had one problem. I listened to your program almost daily on podcast and realized with a daughter at home, divorce wasn't an option. While our intimacy was about dead we both managed to be nice and even like each other most of the time.
Recently, I went to one of my daughters concerts. My attention was not focused so much on her performance, but on her carefree spirit. My daughter seemed so much happier than most of the other kids. Letters would come from different teachers, one who spoke of her "contagious enthusiasm". Often after I come home from work, she will walk up to me with an affectionate hug and put her head on my chest. I couldn't imagine any of this happening had I left a few years back. Dr Laura, I cannot thank you enough for being a beacon of light in an increasingly selfish and confused world. Please know that while you have suffered undeservedly over the years at the hands of angry leftists, your perseverance to speak the truth regardless of what it may cost you has made a difference in countless lives. Over the past year, my wife has been warming up to me and in my estimation she seems to have not only forgiven me, but herself as well. Thank you Dr Laura for making a difference in my life, but more importantly in the life of my daughter. The phrase "Dr. Laura Family" means far more to me than a simple internet subscription. You are a blessing to our family.
Your Friend,
Steve
