Hi Dr. Laura,
This is something I thought you'd like (evidence you're right - lol). I just found this article in Parents magazine. It's about encouraging independence in your children and this is #2 on their list:
"We can't give our children high self-esteem. [That's the title.] After promoting self-esteem for two decades, we are seeing more depression and anxiety in young people, not higher levels of self-confidence. IT TURNS OUT THAT TELLING KIDS THEY ARE GREAT ALL THE TIME DOESN'T HELP THEM THAT MUCH [I wonder where I've heard that before] instead, it makes them suspicious of adults because THEY CAN SEE they're not as good at doing some things as other kids are. [What?! We aren't all the same?!?!?!] Self-esteem COMES FROM BUILDING SKILLS AND MASTERING CHALLENGING TASKS ON THEIR OWN [You mean, in order to be proud of yourself, you have to do something to be proud of?! Impossible!] Your child's greatest sense of achievement may come from succeeding in a situation where he had tasted defeat, had been REALLY UPSET, and then had come back to triumph."
I just thought you should see that. I'm sure next month some parent will write in upset about the fact this magazine dared to say their child might have to EARN self-respect, but it still made me happy to see it.
Thank you for all you do!