Dear Dr. Laura,
I recently read "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land." I picked up your book because of past experiences and wanted to know what you had to say on the matter of betrayal. It came as a surprise to me shortly after reading your book I was attacked!
My husband's side of the family gets together for Sunday dinner twice a month. At our last family get together my 2 1/2 year old nephew deliberately pushed my 15 month old. I saw it happen and swiftly and sternly told my nephew "you don't push," picked up my son before he could start crying and walked away. I was not surprised by my nephew's behavior as he regularly pushes and hits his 1 year old sister. My husband and I have witnessed this behavior every time we've been around them and have been careful about letting our son near our nephew.
What was astonishing to me was the reaction I got when I told him this. Everyone in the room fell silent and stared at me, and then began telling me things such as "You shouldn't have said that" and "He is only 2 and doesn't know". Everyone in the room was visibly angry with me! My nephew began to cry because of my reprimand and gained immediate attention from all around him saying it was ok and he should apologize to my son. I remained silent and continued to pay attention to my son.
I was relieved to get home that night as the incident left me a little shaken. I felt what I did was right and could not make sense of the other adults reaction. I should tell you no one in the room asked if my son was ok.
The next day the mother of my nephew, called my husband and began to tell him I was too hard on my nephew and had overstepped my bounds. She then had hour long conversation about my bad behavior and attitude towards my nephew. My husband disagreed and defended me the whole time. She told my husband I have a personal vendetta against my nephew! And how I don't know how to reprimand a child because I only have one kid and she, having 3 kids, knows better.
I simply have no words to describe the shock and hurt I feel over this whole thing. I'm grateful to my husband for standing up for me and our son. I know this incident will continue to have ripples and I'm dreading the holidays, however, I have absolutely no intention of apologizing. If roles were reversed I would want my son reprimanded for bad behavior no matter which adult it came from, especially if that behavior hurts someone. If the adults in the room do not protect the younger kids, who will???
I'm grateful for all you do and it is refreshing to come across a public figure who does not allow their principles and what they believe in to sway in the wind like so many others. I know I will survive this shark attack because I know what's important and that is standing up for what I know is right no matter how difficult it is. AND IT IS, AT TIMES, VERY DIFFICULT.
Sincerely,
R
