I have been married to the love of my life for over 25 years. We have two sons, 24 and 22. My husband is in law enforcement which means he doesn't work 9 - 5 or have weekends and holidays off. He has worked the night shift the majority of his career so he has to sleep during the day, making him unavailable except on his days off.
We agreed before we were married that when we had children, I would stay home. I appreciated he was willing to work to support us, so I did everything I could to make sure he didn't have to worry about anything except coming home at the end of his shift. I took care of the children, the house, yard, money, food, appointments... Anything that came up, I handled it so he wouldn't have to. Out of necessity, I became very capable and he knows and appreciates this.
However, my husband still opens doors, opens jars and reaches for things off the top shelf for me. He carries in the groceries and totes heavy things whenever necessary. He helps with laundry and dishes when he sees the need. When we walk down the street, he walks closest to the street (in case of runaway horses). He is very chivalrous. This has rubbed off on my sons, as well. They have commented that several girls they have dated have trouble letting them open doors, carry things or help them with their jacket, etc.
Men are so different than women. They like to show off for their woman and to take care of them. It doesn't take anything away from OUR capabilities. If anything, it makes me feel better about my relationship, because it shows me he cares about me and my well-being, just like I care for him and take care of him by making his home life run smoothly.
And as my Grandma Sue says, "Just because a lady can, doesn't mean she must." I am quite capable of opening a difficult jar, but why should I when there is a big, strong man around to flex his muscles and make my life easier? And boy, doesn't he get all puffed up when I tell him how much I appreciate he can open the jar so much easier than I can.
Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura.
Terri
