Hi Dr. Laura,
Regarding your points about marital generosity, I just want to say each morning, my husband either gets up at 4:00 or 5:00 to go to work. I don't have to get up at 7:00 to get ready for my job, but I have made it my own rule to get up with him, and by the time he's showered and dressed, his coffee is ready, his lunch is made, and that leaves us a little bit of time to sit down and quietly enjoy some conversation before I give him a big kiss and a hug as he walks out the door. He knows I do it gladly, because I love, value and appreciate him. In turn, he does all sorts of little things for me, too, without my ever asking. Cooking, dishes, etc., and since he gets home before I do, these things are usually done when I walk through the door. I never ask, never indicate or even drop hints. He just does it, and he loves knowing he's made my life easier.
I don't ever want to lose the feeling of surprise, I don't ever want to be conditioned to the things he does to the point that I expect them, and I never want to react that way when he does. I believe these little gestures remind us daily of how blessed we are, and it helps keep up the momentum of adoration more than anything else can.