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Letters From Listeners

Love Needs Respect
04/08/2014

Too bad there are not more women out there with your "old fashioned, no nonsense" ways. Too bad those ways are no longer the norm.

I have known wonderful lady for over 20 years now.  We both love each other dearly, but we are only friends. We have thought about the "next level" - engagement, then marriage; however, from early on, we both have understood she is very carrier oriented. So we left the "next level" on the far back burner and continued on with our own lives while maintaining occasional contact and all of our feelings for each other.

You often say that love alone is not enough -- well, it isn't. There needs to be respect for each other. Without respect, there is nothing. And there also needs to be, at least in some ways, shared dreams and goals. We have seen too many in our own lives try to force a relationship without any of those things, only to see most crash and burn badly. That respect for each other, and the acceptance of the others goals and dreams are, I believe, what enables my lady friend and I to have held onto our friendship, and love, over the years.

She proved far wiser then I years go when she said that sex would ruin what we have. Looking back, I agree. If we had ever bedded but not wedded, I feel the respect would have slipped away. We have neither bedded or wedded -- those two things may never be in the cards for us. But as long as we have respect for the other, we will have something far more precious then any sexual encounter.

Thanks for all the years.  Keep on nagging for a good cause.

Julian

Tags: Dating, Friendships, Relationships
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