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Paraprosdokian Sentences

Hi Dr. Schlessinger,

I thought you might enjoy these.

Lt Col Cary C., Retired

A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.

  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 

  • If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 

  • We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 

  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire. 

  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish. 

  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy. 

  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 

  • You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again. 

  • The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas! 

  • Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 

  • I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot. 

  • Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. 

  • There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 

  • You're never too old t o learn something stupid. 

  • Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Some additional paraprosdokian sentences
Tags: humor, Read On-Air
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