If I had put your wise words to use, I would still be married to a wonderful man, living a life of ease with people who valued my presence in their lives. Instead, I am divorced, in debt, and despised by nearly everyone in my family. I had an affair, and while I was having a grand time, my cherished husband was experiencing devastating pain, crushed self-esteem, and all the other effects that come when someone you love and adore betrays you. My husband actually said that being drafted into Vietnam was easier than what I did to him.
I hope I can prevent someone else from making the same idiotic, selfish, and disastrous choice I did. The man I thought would be better for me than my husband turned out to be a complete con man. Restoring my integrity and gaining back the trust of those I decimated with my lies is another matter altogether.
So, if any of your listeners are contemplating the betrayal of their marriage vows, know that while your self-esteem will increase because of the extra attention, your betrayed spouse will be destroyed to discover that the marriage bed he thought was special actually meant nothing to you. There is no defense and no justification for your actions, no matter what you think. I'm now spending my time working on repairing the relationships I firebombed. It will take years to build back trust, and in many cases, it will never happen. Please choose integrity and real love. It takes a lot of hard work, but the results of choices such as mine are harder and far more painful.