Dr. Laura:
I was recently at the park with my four young children when kids from two daycares showed up. The kids were drawn to us because we had our dogs with us. I saw daycare workers sitting on the park bench with headphones in their ears as they looked down at their phones. They only interacted with the children when they were counting them to make sure they were all there!
My dad ridiculed me when I told him I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. He said "it's not about the quantity of time, it's about the quality. If you stay home, you'll never be able to take your kids on vacations or buy them nice things." Still, I was confident in my decision. Both of my parents were career oriented. My mom was so stressed from working an afternoon into night shift that she just shuffled me off to school in the morning and that was my only interaction with her. My father worked during the day and went to school at night, so he shuffled us outside or sat us in front of the TV so we wouldn't bother him when he was studying. So many times I came home from school and there was no one to talk to about my problems. I became a rebellious teenager and attached myself to my friends in a very unhealthy way. I had no respect for my family. I left home at 18 and married an adulterous and abusive man, having four children with him. When his violence turned on our daughter I kicked him out and filed for divorce.
My divorce has devastated our children. They will be forever heartbroken because of my actions. Now I work from home so that I can still be the one who is with them. I wish I had discovered you sooner so that my children wouldn't be the victims of my life choices, but I also wish I would have had a mother to talk to in my formative years about life. Thank you for praising moms who spend their days putting Band-Aids on and making sandwiches and are available to spend QUANTITY time with their kids, wherein lies the QUALITY. I can't thank you enough.
Clorinda
