Dr. Laura,
I married a man who was an alcoholic. I was young and "in love" and didn't think you could be an alcoholic drinking beer. We separated when our son was 4 and I divorced him 6 years later. During those 6 years, I was my kid's mom. He was my life. My ex and I were still very close and one or both of us were at every event in our son's life.
When our son was 13 my ex was killed in a DUI accident. He was the passenger, his girlfriend was the driver, and they were both extremely drunk.
I remarried when my son was 16. Dr. Laura, oh how I wish I would have devoted those few precious years to my son. I wanted to be married again and wanted a male in my son's life. My husband is not a bad guy he's just not a father figure to my son. He had a horrible childhood and never knew his dad. He had 3 children who lived with their mom 10 hours away. Dr. Laura it sounded so "hard" to be alone all of those years, but now I live daily with regret. I didn't have my son around when we were dating. We dated for a year and a half then got married. When we moved into my husband's house it was awkward. One of his sons, the same age, lived with him and our two sons were as different as night & day. My son moved out when he turned 18. My son is 24 now and we have a great relationship. He and my husband are friends, but not close.
I've been married for over 8 years and truly believe we shouldn't have gotten married. I know he loves me in his own way, but will he go through shark infested waters for me? NO. He would tell me that I didn't need that. We get along most of the time but I can't say we will stay together for the rest of our lives.
Dr. Laura keep stressing to men and women the importance of being their kids' parents. My son knows I love him, but he really went through a hard time for several years after his dad passed and I wish I hadn't remarried. Maybe I could have helped my son better. He did get into some drugs and alcohol and got a DUI, but is now on the right track. But living a life of regret is hard for a parent. Thank you Dr. Laura for being who you are. There's not very many people giving the advice today you give and the world needs to hear it!
God Bless You!
Dee
