I am 54 and my husband is 49; we've been married for 17 years. Currently, we're happy to take care of each other's needs, talk lovingly about the other in front of people, hug and kiss a lot, and thoroughly enjoy spending time together. It wasn't always this way.
When we first married, I wanted to keep my last name, spend money the way I saw fit, carry on with my own schedule, and basically ignore his needs and desires. I married him because he was another income. During the first few years, there was tension, arguing, snarky-ness and an overall attitude that I called the shots at home. My husband, however, never yelled at me. He'd leave me alone rather than engage in a battle when I was clearly armed for it in volume and attitude. The next day he would still say "
I love you," and go to work to support me and our new, young son. I gave him sex, but it wasn't making love. I tested him on every level you can imagine, seeing what I could do that would make him leave. My father abandoned me at the age of 10, and after the divorce, never looked back.
I often wondered why this man wanted to put up with me, but he carried on with patience, kindness and commitment. Six years into the marriage, I knew he wasn't going to leave and wasn't going to abandon me. He loved me for who I was. I didn't understand this because no one in my life had ever said that to me, let alone showed me with day-to-day actions. I knew I had to improve the way I treated him. So, I picked up "
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I began surrendering my protective armor and really opening up to him. After 10 years of marriage, I finally let myself be totally vulnerable to him. At this point, I offered myself to him body and soul. I don't feel a bit used or not appreciated or loved. This happy scenario could have gone in another direction. It could have dissolved into a shattered mess had I let it.
Your program and your books have and will continue to teach women that it is to THEIR benefit to treat and love men in the ways you explain. I have no doubt you help mend and save many marriages and kids' lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Rory
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