I'm 38, my husband is 40, and we have three kids - 6, 8 and 11. Our 11-year-old has been giving us trouble for almost three years, with lying and disobeying us. We tried everything from taking away his screen time to other punishments. We've talked about lack of trust and respect, but none of this has had any lasting effect.
Finally, one day I heard you talking to moms on the radio about "swift and terrible" punishment, so my husband and I made a "swift and terrible" game plan. We emptied our son's room of everything except a Bible, pen and paper, and his clothes. I saw an immediate change in his behavior the next day. He was responsive and cooperative, and starting doing what he was told with little fuss. He is now working toward EARNING all his things back a little at a time.
The most surprising change to me was his attitude. He woke up the next day happy like I haven't seen him in ages, saying he decided that his punishment would go better if he tried to be happy. Then it would be easier to obey. He also told me he was glad we took away his video games, because he couldn't stop. Wow.
We now have at least one pleasant kid in a noisy house with three kids and three dogs, because we got his attention. Thanks so much for all your guidance.
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