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Take Yourself on a Date
Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

Whether you are single or married, we all need the occasional night to ourselves.  Some of you may be thinking, “A night to myself, what is that?” We often have those nights where we are home zoning out watching TV, eating and feeling bored.  We don’t need more of those nights.  This is not the kind of night I am referring to.  Some of you may say, “A night to myself, that isn’t going to be fun?  If I go out alone, people will think I am weird or will assume I am unlovable and lonely.  Yuck!”  But believe me, one of the best ways to nurture ourselves is to plan a nice little date night out - yes, alone. 

Here are some reasons to consider taking yourself out on a date:
1. Freedom!  When you take a date night for yourself, the first benefit is you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do!  You do not have to make concessions for anyone else.  It feels good to simply let a day or night, now and again, be all about you and your tastes.  It reminds you of who you are, what you love, and that you can, in fact, feel fantastic all on your own.

2. You can take your time:  The greatest thing about dates with yourself is that you can take your sweet time.  There is no agenda.  No one is rushing you to be somewhere.  You can have a plan or you can just relax and fly by the seat of your pants on your date. It is OK to slow things down and enjoy the smaller pleasures of life.

3. Independence: Being able to feel self-satisfied on your own is important to your sense of self-worth and independence.  Going out in public and having yourself a little date shows a level of self-comfort and satisfaction.  It is important for you to remember that you are more than OK all on your own.  A certain amount of time alone is exciting, relieving and nurturing to your soul.

4. It makes you more interesting: People who can never make a decision on a date or who always speak in “we” terms can annoy the other because there is no “self” there.  When you spend a certain amount of time alone, it keeps you on your toes in developing your own opinions, preferences and memories.  Knowing what you want is sexy because it makes you interesting.

5. Get over your fear of being alone:  The more you practice entertaining, nurturing and dating yourself, the more you learn about what you want in a partner.  It is also about being whole all unto yourself.  It is attractive to be someone who is OK being alone.  When you date yourself, you are not alone anyway.  You are not by yourself - you are with yourself. 

6. Pamper yourself:  If you are going to have this date with yourself, you may as well indulge in some pampering.  You can shop, have your nails done, or get a massage or get a facial.  Whatever it is for you that will make you feel loved and well taken care of, gift this to yourself.  You deserve it.  When you pamper yourself, you are acknowledging your lovability and your value. 

Look at it this way: Other people enjoy your company, right?  So why shouldn’t you?  As the Buddhist saying goes, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."  Taking yourself on a date is a way for you to be in the direct action of loving yourself. 

Little life message:  Love yourself and take charge of your happiness.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed psychologist with more than 19 years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.  She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationships. For more information visit Permission granted for use on
Tags: Attitude, Fears, Happiness, Health, Mental Health
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