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Letters From Listeners

'That's Not What I Meant..."

Dr. Laura asked on her Facebook page:  What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you where someone of the opposite gender completely misunderstood your intent?

Here are some responses:

Amy: I was at an Irish Pub a few weeks ago on leave from Afghanistan. I sat waiting for my friend by myself. A nice guy in his 40s came and sat next to me. We began to talk and he said, "I HAVE to introduce you to my sister... you are AWESOME!" I said, "cool, is she a rad chick too?" The guy says, "Yeah, and she just broke up with her girlfriend!" I'm not a lesbian...

Jo: My husband had recently installed kitchen cabinet handles for me - a big deal . A few days later we had a 'team baseball party' for our son. His coach (my hubby's friend) attended... I innocently and gleefully said "Hey John, do you want to see my new knobs?" I have never lived it down.... lol

Melanie: My husband is a towboat pilot and is away for a month at a time. I do all the yard work and was mowing one day when a car came into the driveway and stopped. A gentleman stepped out so I drove my lawnmower up next to his vehicle to see what he needed. He introduced himself and said he lived down the highway and told me a lot of his friends were getting together for a crawfish boil and would like for me to go as his date. I told him I was sorry I couldn't go since I was married. He felt soooo stupid...his face turned red and said he was so sorry, over and over again. Oh and by the way, when my husband WAS home...he did start spending a little more time outside...LOL

Mandy: I'm a dental hygienist which means I wear scrubs and have my hair pulled back every day while at work. One day I was off for the day, but had to stop by my office for a minute and our dentist walked right up to the counter and stood by me for a second before realizing who I was. He then told me "Wow, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you with clothes on"!!! As soon as the words rolled off his tongue his face turned beet red and he started apologizing! We all got a good laugh out of it and he still shakes his head and turns red when we mention it!!

Cheryl: I do this kind of stuff ALL the time. One of the best and most memorable...My husband and I were getting ready to leave and I still needed to dry and style my hair. He was a little irritated I was running behind schedule. I assured him it wouldn't be a big deal because I had a new way of doing my hair. A few minutes later I walked out of the bathroom and said, "Look, honey, a five minute blow job". Whoops!

Fran: My husband was very proud of the very tall flagpole we had installed in our front yard. When a friend looked up, I could tell he was trying to calculate its height and I said: It's 35 feet. He told me he thought it was bigger. I retorted: "Isn't it like a man to look at something and assume it's bigger than it really is?"

Fonda: This isn't funny, but I once had a male friend at work that was going thru a divorce. I wasn't any nicer to him than I normally had been, but for some reason, he thought maybe we could hook up. I didn't have a clue until we were scheduled to ride together to a class/meeting that was an hour away from our work place. He had the whole day planned out for us..he dressed up, chose his favorite CDs for us to listen to, flirting heavily w/me during the ride, was practically all over me during the class, begged me several times DURING class to skip it...needless to say, I was already creeped out by the whole CD thing at the very beginning and everything that led up to our time together in class. He made me very uncomfortable. I was so glad that day was over. I really could have had a sexual harrassment case against him, especially because he was in a managerial position. I'm just not that way though. He just lost my friendship after that incident. I feel nauseaus when I think about it about a misunderstanding!!!! It made me think twice about how I acted around men after that.

Laurette: I used to work for a golf company. We would make personalized golf clubs. I had just taken an order for a club, but I forgot to ask what flex he wanted. I called him back and his wife answered, without thinking I told her I forgot to ask him if he wanted a regular or stiff shaft. She laughed and told me he always likes it stiff, but for his golf club it should be a regular. (Sorry Dr. Laura there is no easy way to talk about Golf equipment without getting a double entendre.) Shafts, Grips, Balls, Heads.

Leslie: Recently I went on a trip with my mom, 2 sisters and my two little girls. We had copious amounts of luggage and getting from the hotel to the airport was a real challenge. I kept thinking I wish there was a man with us to offset the large bag to person ratio we had. After checking bags and car seats we made it to the terminal. When a man asked if he could help I said "We've got it now but man, I'd like to take you back to the hotel". I was mortified and tried to explain what I meant but just kept making things worse. Eventually my Mom had to rescue me and explain what I was really trying to say. Oops

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Tags: Humor
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