Hi Dr. Laura:
Many years ago, I suffered with infertility and had several miscarriages. As painful a time as that was, I grew a lot and learned several things I want to share. First, one time I was at the fertility clinic where I was a patient and there was another woman there to start treatment after her eighth miscarriage! As I listened to her cry with desperation for a baby, I had an epiphany. She wanted to have a BABY; I wanted to have a FAMILY! There's a big difference! I left the clinic, went home and told my husband that I didn't want to continue further treatment, and I wanted to start the adoption process. He wholeheartedly agreed, and three months after we began the process, we welcomed a baby boy into our home. Six years later, we adopted another baby boy. They're now 23 and 17, and I never missed being pregnant or giving birth (and people have always asked me that question).
Second, my husband and I agreed I would be a stay-at-home mom. Once our first baby arrived, I knew there was no better place to be than home with him every single day. Moms who think that it's the quality time and not the quantity of time could not be more wrong. As my kids grew up, I found the hours of 5 PM to 8 weren't always their best times or mine. But I'd had all day to be with them to experience the hugs, cuddles, stories, walks, bike rides and more. It was during those times I got to witness my son picking me dandelions that we put into a fancy vase, a hug and kiss just because he loved me, reading to me at nap time and being proud because he'd read the book "all by himself" even though it may have been upside down! These are not the kind of things that you can schedule or create between the hours of 5 to 8 pm. They happen spontaneously and you actually have to be there to see them and participate. Keep fighting the good fight!