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Letters From Listeners

They Tore Up Their Parenting Cards


Hello Dr. Laura,

I wanted to share with you about my two disappointing parents and how I have made a bad childhood into a good life. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. My dad had every other weekend visitations with me. I was mostly left with friends of his who I didn't know or I was taken to bars and dance clubs while my dad drank.

When I was 5 years old, my mom had her boyfriend move in with us and shortly after that he started molesting me.  On top of that, my mom facilitated some inappropriate things as well. They eventually married two years later. It was around this time that my dad missed picking me up for a visitation.  Little did I know I wasn't going to see or hear from him for twenty years.

When I was 8 years old, I finally had courage to tell my teacher what had been happening to me at home. From that moment on my life changed dramatically. When the social worker contacted my mom, she said I was lying about everything. I then had to be removed from my house and my aunt and uncle took me in, eventually getting temporary custody. The boyfriend went to jail for a short time, but then the judge put my mom, my abuser and me back into the same house. It was mentally and emotionally hell for me. My aunt and uncle desperately tried to keep custody, but they lost that battle. I was awarded Victims Assistance money for my mental health and that started my many years in therapy.

When I was 17, I couldn't take it anymore being with my mom and my abuser so I "ran away" to my aunt and uncle's and never looked back.  I then completely cut off all communication and ties with my mother.

Since then, I have gotten married to a wonder man and have two amazing little children. My mother has never seen or met any of them. About 7 years ago, my father got in contact.  After getting to know him for a whole year and after I wouldn't give him money or citizenship, I told him to have a good life and made the decision I wasn't going to have him in my life.  He wasn't safe or trustworthy to have around. And I haven't heard from him since.

Well, that is the short version. After all of this, I can say I have a blessed life. I have had years of extensive therapy and have had healing from a lot of my trauma. I also, have had a very strong faith in God and He has guided me to a mentally healthier life and helped me to create a better family legacy within my own little family. I also have had so many wonderful speaking opportunities in churches, Juvenal Halls, and therapy groups to share my story of hope and healing. I have so much support from my aunt, uncle, cousins and many close friends. I will always strive to be what God has intended me to be and to continue to be on a journey of healing.






Tags: Abuse, Attitude, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Behavior, Divorce, Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Relationships, Relatives
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