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Letters From Listeners

Training for a Marathon Is Like Training for a Marriage

I've thought for over a week to email you and then my husband brought home 6 red roses tonight and I knew I needed to write you. This is maybe one of five or so times  my husband has brought home flowers for me in the 11 years we've been together. We both agree that flowers for Valentine's Day, anniversaries or worse…for "I'm Sorry" is not what we want. We'd rather be kind to each other, each and every day, not on a holiday. A smile grew on my face as I asked, "What are these for?" He replied, "I saw them, thought of you, and thought you should have them."

I've been with my now-husband since I was a teenager. We met in high school, dated for 9 years before finally "tying the knot" and have been married for 2 years. We got many comments throughout the years as to when we would marry and when we would have children. We do not yet have children as we are still planning our future.

I have run marathons and as I was training for my upcoming race, I realized how similar my training is to my relationship. You train and train for a very long time for a culminating event. Our 9 years together before marriage was us training. We talked about important things like finances, children, jobs, places we want to live and who we want to be as people and as parents. We "trained" for our marriage. It isn't always fun to wake up early and get in a quick run but the effort is always worth it and I always smile at the end. It may not always be fun to sit at the golf course and watch my husband hit golf balls, but his happiness of me being there is always priceless - especially when I grew to like the sport and began playing myself.

Training for a marathon isn't just running - it is a way of life. And the training does not end on race day. Training for my marriage has taken years and endless conversations about life and love. The training didn't end on my wedding day. I cherish the days that I learn something new about my husband and know our path may have been a long one, but the road along the path has been paved with commitment, truth, honesty, hard work and a love I can only explain as a favorite song that warms your heart, infiltrates your memory and always makes you smile. I look forward to a lifetime of training with him as our race day is every day and we keep growing, even at our now-comical slow pace.


Tags: Dating, Marriage, Pre-marital Counseling, Relationships
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