Dear Dr. Laura:
When we were first married, someone told me it was important to point out things that bothered me about my new husband right away, to not let things fester and then become bigger issues. I shared this with my wise husband, and his response was this: "
It's going to be a really long, unhappy marriage if we are going to focus on the negative. I prefer that we accept the fact that neither one of us is perfect, and we are going to do things that might irritate the other. What if we focused on the positive? I bet the little annoyances will fade over time. I would rather focus on all the qualities that we love about each other and live happily ever after."
Here we are 25 years later, and he was so right. I adore him and feel loved every day of my life. We approach every day knowing that the other person is putting in their best effort. He is more supportive than I could have ever imagined, not just as a husband, but as the father of our two children, one of whom has significant multiple disabilities. I think I got bad advice at the beginning. We live by the idea that we are always in this together. Now we look forward to sending our younger son to college knowing that he was raised in a home where two people respect, encourage, and love each other deeply.
Janet
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