Dear Dr. Laura,
My husband and I have been married for 32 years. I did choose wisely, but I didn't always treat kindly and we almost didn't make it. When my 3 children were teens we started to have differences in parenting styles and instead of being unified, we were divided. We fought in front of the kids and I treated my husband with disrespect and hostility. He left and had an affair. We were separated for 9 months. My friends were telling me to leave the bastard, but I saw what it was doing to my children. Not having their father in the house was worse than our arguing. So, I decided to save my marriage.
When I changed, he changed. No, the problem wasn't all me, but I realized divorce was only going to create a lifetime of problems for all of us: holidays, birthdays, graduations, all of that was going to be painful...forever. That was 10 years ago and there isn't a day now that we don't look at one another and thank God we worked it out. Our love is deeper and stronger than it ever was. Last year we were both there, TOGETHER, for the birth of our first grandchild. WOW... I wouldn't trade that moment for anything!
Yes, it was hard on our children, but I know that what we modeled to them about the marriage commitment may help them in their own marriages someday. My oldest son is now married to a wonderful woman and my other two are waiting to find the right one. When they do, my husband and I will be there cheering them on to have a long and fulfilling life together like we have had. Even their grandparents are going on 67 years together. Their secret? They still kiss one another every morning and every evening before going to sleep. Maybe their example is why I chose to keep my commitment... I am so thankful I did!
Melissa
