Dr. Laura,
I narrowly avoided not choosing wisely when I was a naive 22-year-old electrical engineering student. I had a friend, more of an acquaintance really, who I'd sort of known since our high school days. She and I ended up at the same small college. It always made my day when we had chance meetings on campus for the simple reason that, as physically attractive as this girl was, she always made it a point to address me personally and at least have a brief chat with me. Our paths did not cross too often as she was not the engineer type. Other reasons I admired her were because she was incredibly smart, graduating in the top ten students of our large high school class, as well as she was very modest about her physical assets, unlike many other young women I had known. With all this most guys would have been bugging her to death about getting together. But I was very focused on preparing myself for my future, with the special young lady that I had yet to identify. I dared not let myself dream about my friend, or anyone else. I knew I was not ready for marriage yet.
So you can imagine my amazement when, one spring afternoon as I made my way back to my car, my friend appeared out of nowhere across a hedge from me with the words, "I'm looking for a husband". I was speechless. I can only assume her expectation was that I would quickly volunteer. But I could not imagine being so quick to jump into that topic head first. Upon seeing I had no response, she followed up with, "So would you be interested?" I have never been able to comprehend how such a smart girl could have actually expected me to answer that question in the affirmative, unless we were already very close. Or maybe she saw me as just another lusty guy who would do anything to get her. I grunted a succinct negative reply, which she followed with a closer approach and the question, "So you're not interested in marriage at all?" My response echoed my previous response. At that point she made an abrupt about face and trundled off across campus, holding a hand over her mouth.
Almost 40 years later I remain astounded and disappointed at this event in my life.
I recently learned that some 4 years later my friend did find a husband, a fellow medical school student. Unfortunately their marriage only lasted a little over two years. She did remarry another doctor and as far as I can determine they have been happily married ever since. So I am glad for her. But I am still saddened by the result of her putting me on the spot in that way.
Martin
