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05/13/2010
There's a new study out from San Diego State University saying that children and young adults today are the most anxious and depressed of the last seventy years.I'm not surprised at all.' Having too many choices is chaos.' Morals and values have been sacrificed in favor of infamy and fortune.' When sports heroes are infamous and rich'because they took drugs to increase their performance, that is demoralizing to kids who work hard to aspire to athletic greatness simply by practicing a lot.' When other young people get famous for flaunting drugs and anti-social behavior, it makes it difficult for the kids who simply work hard.When you have a major Hollywood producer/director putting together a movie to excuse and explain Hitler (in context, he says), you have a generation that has no clear understanding of evil.When you have military dying in the fields of foreign countries because we are at war with a religious ideology that wants to terminate western civilization, and one of their combatants is caught and tried only as a common criminal, you have a generation that is confused.When you have a culture that does not support the basic building block of education - the family - we have children turning to equally confused peers and pop culture.When the people in positions of power, authority and fame turn out to be of little character, you have a generation that doesn't know what to respect or whom to emulate.It all matters.Our kids pay the price.
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Tags: Depression, Family/Relationships - Children, Fear, Health, Mental Health, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Stress
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05/13/2010
I remember when the Unabomber was caught.' There was an uproar of indignation concerning the fact that it was his brother who "ratted" him out.' When his brother saw the published ramblings of the serial murderer known as the "Unabomber," he recognized the sentiments, mentality, and writing style of his brother, and informed the police.' If memory serves me right,
The Los Angeles Times
had either an editorial or an op-ed piece castigating the brother for essentially "turning on blood."That was a morally repugnant point of view.' Protecting the innocent against evil is the responsibility of every human being, regardless of the "job description" of the evildoer - in this case, a sibling.Fortunately, in England, a wife of twenty years understood her responsibility to others (in this case, children), and set aside emotional pain and potential embarrassment.' She set out to trap her husband, whom she suspected of being a pedophile.' Apparently, her husband chatted with teenagers as he groomed them for sex.The wife pretended to be a 14 year old girl, and caught him in the act.' She was in the neighboring living room while he was in his study sweating over a hot computer, setting "her" up for a meeting to have sex.' He also used a webcam to carry out sex acts and send the videos over the Internet.' Our plucky wife watched this in absolute disgust and horror.She then contacted police who seized his computer.' She didn't march into his study to confront him, cry, or threaten.' Like a good citizen, she just turned it all over to the authorities.
GOOD FOR HER!
He only received three years of community service and was banned indefinitely from having access in person or online to children under the age of 18.' He also had to register as a sex offender, and, oh yes, she divorced him.
"I did the right thing, and I don't regret it.' Now I just need some time to think and put this all behind me,"
she said to a reporter.She should have gotten a medal.
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Tags: Abuse, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Child Abuse, Courage, Family/Relationships - Children, Internet, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Marriage, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
Today, I've got a guest blog today from Olivia:
Hi, Dr. Laura:
I am a 25 year old married mother of two small boys.' Minutes ago, I just finishedreading your book "Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids."' This is why [my reading this] is so timely:
A year ago, some family crisis propelled me into quitting my part-time, yet demanding, job.' In many ways, it was a dream job - part-time, flexible, good pay (or so I thought), and fantastic for my resume.' My family began to deteriorate rather quickly in spite of our kids not being in day care. My job went to my head, and I spent horrible amounts of time on things that had nothing to do with my family, and even harmed my family relationships.' I was being selfish, stupid, and immature as I sought out personal satisfaction and success.
After a major and deserving blow from life, I quit my job, in spite of my board wanting me to stay.' In the last year, I have been focusing on my family more, but have been dabbling in a small business.' Lately, business has been slow, and I have been praying for it to pick up, or to open my eyes to what God would have me do instead.' Stupid, I know, as I have two beautiful sons staring me in the face every day.
A couple of days ago, when I was in the library with my kids, I had this sudden desire to grab a parenting book (no idea what kind), but in a rush I went to the section, perused quickly and grabbed your book.' You loudly and clearly stating things I knew in my heart, but hadn't allowed to be voiced in my head.' I really believe this was a divine intervention.
I know that I am not in the season of life to devote lots of time and energy to anything or anyone other than my family.' You are completely right about everything you said in your book.' Shame on the "so-called" (love how you made fun of that) professionals who tease, shame, and humiliate young, educated women who choose family over career.' And shame on we self-proclaimed "strong" women who allow ourselves to be cowed from taking full-time responsibility for our children, family and home life if we are able.
I used to feel embarrassed or apologetic when admitting I was a married mother of two at my age.' Now I feel grateful for the path I have chosen, and my joy is full as I recognize the deep personal growth and learning my divinely appointed "job" grants me each and every day as I sacrifice, love, and nurture my family.
Thanks, Dr. Laura.' We need more women to speak out the way you do.
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Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, Parenting, Stay-at-Home Mom, Stay-At-Home-Moms
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05/13/2010
During my college years in the Sixties, "empowerment" and "consciousness-raising" were the main focus of existence, even though these concepts were largely used to insist that you were a victim of something or someone just for being female.Well, fast forward to now, and one young, married woman in her twenties has decided that giving birth live on the Internet is empowering to women!' The use of that term in
this
circumstance cracks me up.' I remember, during my loooong labor, my husband saying that he was going to leave to get a cup of coffee.' I threatened him with "if you leave...never come back!!"' I guess that threat was "empowerment," but giving birth in public or private is one of our least powerful times.' We are completely at the mercy of a baby who is usually saying "Hell, no, I won't go."Nonetheless, this woman has decided that taking something personal and making it public is empowering and educational and spreading joy.' Oh, puleeze!' In our sadly growing exhibitionist, voyeuristic, reality show mentality of a society, this is how people become "important," known, and "famous."The point of "personal" is that something is perfected by its modesty, and sharing is not an issue of public promotion, but an opportunity for a few people to embrace a meaningful moment of experience.' Experiences and moments that are universal (like child-bearing) are not educational.' The childbirth is going to be posted on a mom website, which means that they've all been there and done that.Her husband is marginalized.' She admits that he was "hesitant" at first, but I'm sure he ultimately had no say.' There aren't too many decent men who want to share the birth of their first child with a camera crew and a blog audience - that makes
Daddy
less special and less involved.It's all just sad to me.' And what happens after the event, when the thrill, the attention and adrenaline of being in the spotlight goes away?' What is she going to do with this kid to keep the flow going?' Think Jon and Kate.' Think "sad" for the children who become the means of their parents' moment in the light, in ways other than simply enjoying their first smiles and first steps.
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Tags: Common Sense, Family, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Family, Feminism, Internet, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Pregnancy, Relationships, Relatives, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
We're all outraged when we hear the stories of children being beaten, locked in cages, raped by adult "friends of the family" (if not family members themselves), abducted, and murdered.' These are clearly horrendous realities that offend all decent people.'Then there are the "normalized" child abuse activities that barely make people shrug a shoulder.' We were somewhat amused and annoyed by the recent story of the reality show family who pretended their son was in a balloon flying high in the sky while the balloon was empty and the boy was hiding.' Turns out that this was all about auditioning for their own reality show.'TLC has a show called "Toddlers and Tiaras."' According to one of my listeners who alerted me to this program, it should have been titled
"Mothers Who Exploit Their Children."
It's a show about young girls (as young as 4 years old!) who compete in beauty contests.' The worst part is not that the mothers over-dress and overly make up their children.' The worst part is not that these young girls put on immodest swimsuits and high heels and parade in front of an audience.' The weird part of the show occurs after the competition ends and you see how these young girls and their parents react to the final results.' One young girl, who couldn't have been older than six, took second runner-up, and her mother was furious.' When the mother went backstage, there was no "you did a great job," or "I love you."' She simply said to her sobbing child - angrily - "I don't know what happened.' Come on...let's go."' Another little girl responded to the results by saying "I'm first runner-up.' That means I'm a loser."These kids are learning that they are only worth something if they win.' They're only loved up by their parents if they win.' And they're learning that winning a beauty competition is the way to a meaningful existence.These kinds of competitions shouldn't even be allowed.' If I had the power -
no one
would be able to exploit their children for money, infamy, notoriety, selfishness or stupidity.' We all have heard the stories of the warped and sorry lives of most former child stars - the drugs, alcohol, suicides, and self-destructive behaviors throughout their lives - generally because their worth was hitched to the wagon of public adoration.These so-called "family" reality shows are a form of child abuse and exploitation.' Children lose their privacy and have to cater to the desire of networks and cable executives for ratings and sponsorship income, and producers need outlandish behavior in order to get and keep an audience.' Parents expect them to do whatever it takes to keep their star in the sky.' It's disgusting, and our society not only
allows
it, but
elevates
these shows to an incredible level of importance.' How about all those news stories of Jon & Kate and their eight kids?' They're getting a divorce, and their pathetic story got coverage from actual hard news sources for weeks at the same time they were appearing on the covers of so-called "news" magazines.We have become detestable in our acceptance and normalization of obvious emotional child abuse.' Shame on us.
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Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Children, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Parenting, Reality TV
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