I have been disabled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia for 22 years. One of the hardest parts of living with this illness is dealing with food; buying it and making it... More >>

Last Saturday, September 11, I was one of about 1000 motorcycle riders participating in "Ride to the Flags," from Ventura Country to Malibu, California, where a display of almost 3000 flags will honor the lives lost to Islamic suicide bombers on September 11, 2001.  The ride was hosted by the Gary Sinise Charitable Foundation, and the proceeds go to the children of those who lose their lives in the service of our country's defense against terrorism.  Pre-ride entertainment was offered by Glen Campbell, and Ann-Margret (a veteran of Vietnam-era USO entertainment) was there to send us all off with her kind words of love and support. More >>

Seven Ways to Protect Your Family from Internet Dangers
By Steve Cross

It's the Wild West on the Internet, and as a parent you are responsible for keeping your kids safe 'out there, Even though 'out there may be two feet away from your kitchen while you are preparing dinner. Scammers, sexual predators, cyber bullies, and every type of hack are lurking on the Internet, in a very real and aggressive sense.

If you are the parent of a girl, you probably think about what name she is using in chat rooms and for instant messaging (IM), and you are wise to be concerned. How can you protect your daughter if you are unaware what web sites she visits, what chat rooms, who she chats with, and the true identities of her online 'friends?

If your teenager is a boy; what is he downloading? Are you going to be liable for illegal music downloads? Is he downloading porn, and the viruses that ride along? What sites does he visit, what does he look at there? It's a parents right to know these things, and a parent's responsibility if, heaven forbid, something goes terribly wrong.

Boys are aggressive downloaders, according to studies and many of the most popular sites for illegal downloads of music and movies are infested with viruses, worms, and Trojan Horses (hacker software that sneaks in and lets the hackers use your machine later!). Many of these programs will seek out your personal data and then transmit it to the hackers. Whether it is just the theft of your credit card information or full fledged Identity Theft, you would be very wise to be alarmed by this possibility.

Did you know that recent studies show that teenage girls spend even more time on the internet than boys? That's interesting and alarming news, as teenage girls are more likely to be cyber bullied, or sexually harassed online than boys.

Dr. Michele Borba, internationally renowned educational consultant and author of 20 books, wrote 'There are some specific ways to protect kids from bullying both in cyberspace and on the playground. Parents today need a closer 'electronic leash on their kids and need to be more tuned into the cyberspace trend. This isn't about being controlling--this is good parenting.

To extend her point, the monitoring of your children's activities on the internet is not about control, or infringing upon their privacy, it's about protecting your children from very real threats.

Some internet service providers (like AOL and MSN) have built in parental controls to 'block out certain types of web sites. However, none of these parental controls are foolproof, which means your kids are on the loose much of the time#151;and if you are a typical family, your kids probably know more about computers than you.

You can't look over their shoulder at all times, but you can do a number of very smart things. Here are seven ways to keep your kids safe when they use the Internet.

1. Talk to them about the dangers of unrestricted use of the internet. Inform them about keeping passwords really secret, never sharing a credit card number with anyone, even their best friend. And please talk with them about cyber bullying, whether they are on the receiving end, or the giving end.
   
   
2. If they are on the giving end of cyber bullying, you must take away their privileges immediately. You have liability here, both ethical and legal.
   
   
3. If they are illegally downloading music and movies, make them stop. If the studios or record companies come after them, as their parent you have the legal responsibility of paying the fines.
   
   
4. Talk to them about stalkers and predators on the internet that use false identities, and urge them to be careful in chat rooms.
   
   
5. Use the parental controls that come with your internet service.
   
   
6. Take the computer out of their rooms and place it in a common area in the house. Your kids are much less likely to do something inappropriate or dangerous if other people are around.
   
   
7. Look into Internet Monitoring Software

Steve Cross, author of the book "Changing Channels", is a former columnist for Newman Media, Channel Media, and the Gartner Group. Steve is a contributor to various jazz publications. Currently, Steve serves as the Steve is president of Guardian Software. http://www.guardiansoftware.com/monitor-pro.html Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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The Great Crib Escape
By Armin Brott
www.mrdad.com

Dear Mr. Dad: My year-old child has begun to climb out of the crib at night. How do I keep her safe?

A: Start by thinking about her environment in larger and larger circles, from the crib to the door. First, the crib. There get rid of all those bumpers (those oh-so-cute fabric pads that used to protect your baby from banging her head against the inside of the crib). Bumpers make great stepping stones for climbers. Also, take all those big stuffed animals, pillows, and heavy comforters out of the crib. These items were dangerous as suffocation hazards when your baby was small. Now that she's bigger, they're tickets to freedom.

Start by explaining to your child that this is her very own, safe, special bed, and that she can sleep there all night, just like Mommy and Daddy do in their bed. Then, if you haven't done it already, adjust the crib's mattress so it's at the setting closest to the floor. If the lower mattress and lack of climbing materials still don't prevent escape, you have a few options.

You might consider buying one of the commercially available safety nets that fit over the top of the crib like a large dome. These nets always seem a little like you're imprisoning your child, but they're a temporary solution (they're also excellent for keeping roaming pets out of the crib).

If safety nets aren't your style, consider installing a gate across her doorway or using a doorknob safety cover that your child won't be able to open. If you go this route, though, be absolutely sure that your child's room is completely childproofed.

As your child approaches two, she'll begin associating climbing and jumping with the possibility of falling, and may become more cautious on her own. You can help the process along by reminding her#151;'Remember how you fell down and bumped your head and cried?"

Whatever you do, don't just give up and put pillows around the crib, as some people do. Because pillows can shift around and expose the bare floor, this is not a good long-term solution.

The next step is a "big girl bed," which can be a mattress on the floor or a twin bed. The twin bed should be pushed against the wall, with a bed rail on the outside. This all applies until it is time for potty learning, when the world gets even bigger!

Armin Brott, hailed by Time as 'the superdad's superdad, has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad's Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men's Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He's the host of 'Positive Parenting, a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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Fears Of A Clown
by Bob Schwartz

There are certain words spoken by a child that can send a shiver of panic through every parental nerve ending. I've discovered that the words causing the greatest consternation were not "Don't worry, the tattoos can always be removed with a laser" or "Can you believe putting in six eyebrow rings barely hurt?"

Rather, the words which sent me quickly into a panic attack were, "My Gymbo's gone!"

Most children, sometime in their early bedtime careers, take a liking to sleeping with a stuffed animal, cuddly clown, small blanket or even something out of the ordinary like one of my children's predilection for nightly embracing a deck of Rugrats Uno cards. Don't ask.

Our son fell into the clown category, and while putting him to bed one night during a family vacation in Canada, we discovered the terrifying experience of finding that his Gymbo the clown was gone. Vanished. Without even a trace of stuffing left behind or a crayon scribbled note.

After ransacking the room and coming up Gymboless, it was clear that he was most likely the victim of an involuntary dollnapping. We concluded he must have been inadvertently scooped up with the sheets that day by the hotel staff. Poor little Gymbo was lying innocently on the bed one minute and then, suddenly, his world was torn asunder with the disengagement of a fitted sheet.

Apparently, he was abruptly wrapped up in the bed linen and tossed down that dark and seemingly never-ending chute to the basement laundry facility. He went from his sheltered suburban upbringing, to being quickly exposed to the giant underbelly of a hotel building. He was naively left to wonder what he'd done to be cast aside and jettisoned into the dungeon of the sheet and pillow case world he was then forced to call home.

The immediate focus was damage control by one parent and Gymbo retrieval by the other. As our son broke out into hysterics, he made it painfully clear that no Gymbo for him meant no sleep. For everyone. And after a long day of nonstop vacationing movement, no sleep was simply an untenable concept for me.

My wife quickly got connected to the hotel laundry room and explained the dire circumstances. She was advised that they'd not seen him yet, but amazingly, they requested she provide them a description of the victim.

This caused us to immediately wonder just how many stuffed dolls they had lying in that basement. Was there some international black market for stuffed cuddly things going on down there? I grabbed the phone and interjected that we'd be able to pick him out of a lineup, so please just let us know how many cotton clowns they'd seen recently. Or perhaps they'd like us to come down and do a composite watercolor painting for them.

I handed the phone back to my wife who patiently provided the laundry staff the unmistakable physical characteristics of a stuffed blue and yellow clown #151; a missing button on his body-hugging suspenders, frizzy red hair, a frayed right leg, about twelve inches long, a bow tie, and with an unwavering cat that ate the canary smile on his face. I felt very confident they wouldn't confuse him with a mattress pad.

As we anxiously paced back and forth, the phone finally rang. In a thick French Canadian accent, the unemotional voice said, "Vee have located your clown."

The words, spoken so solemnly yet somewhat muffled, forced me to become fearful they would next demand a ransom? Or, worse yet, advise us that after a violent fifty-minute foray in the tumble dryer his arm was hanging by a thread?

My wife and I were so thankful that Gymbo was soon delivered to our door in one piece and wearing that same cockeyed grin, but to me, he had a little shell-shocked look. I could only think of the horrors he must have seen down below, tossed in amongst the giant spinning washer along with stained tablecloths and thrown about in the whirling dryers with a bath towel pressed against his face.

We could only hope that the familiar rhythmic breathing of his sleeping owner in the footed pajamas would soon erase the memories of his emotionally charged excursion into the outside world.

We did learn to avoid any unchaperoned Gymbo excursions in the future by tying one end of a shoelace around his waist and the other end around the bedpost each morning. I know that doesn't necessarily look all that loving, but hey, he never stops smiling. And it does eliminate one potential for bedtime parental panic.

Once was enough #151; for all of us.

Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

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Tips for Staying Fit and Healthy at Home
by Lesley Spencer, MSc; Founder President HBWM.com Inc.
http://www.HomeBasedWorkingMoms.com

Many Americans these days are finding themselves out of shape and overweight. Why is that? The bottom line is we are taking in more calories than we are burning. It takes a conscious effort to reduce calories, eat healthier and get regular exercise.

Exercise does not have to be a dreaded word either. The good news is that exercise gives you more energy, stress relief, better health, clearer focus, sharper mind, better sleep, better bone health, better sex life, and it decreases the risk of cancers, heart attacks and heart problems. Forget the benefits of just looking good and realize exercise not only makes you feel good, it can help you live a longer, healthier life.

Here are some tips to get you on your way to a healthier lifestyle:

• Put your workout clothes on first thing in the morning. You'll feel more "obligated" to exercise once you are dressed in your workout clothes.
  
  
• Use music to energize and motivate you to exercise. Get a few great CDs that energize you. Turn it up and jam out! The music will motivate you and help the time pass by more quickly!
  
  
• Always keep a water bottle and a healthy snack with you. When you get hungry, go for the healthy snack instead of heading to the pantry. Try to keep your water bottle full so that you can drink plenty of water throughout the day.
• Follow the two-bite rule. If there's something you absolutely must have, take two bites and be done! You'll get your fix and be proud of your will power to put it down!
  
  
• No time for exercise? Make a goal to walk for 30 minutes at least three times a week. You'll find if you make it a priority, you can fit it in. Try going right after breakfast or after taking your kids to school.
  
  
• Need to be motivated to exercise? Find one or two workout partners to motivate one another. If you don't have anyone near by, find a virtual workout buddy on the http://www.HBWM.com Self-Care message boards. Share successes, motivate one another and just enjoy doing something for yourself!
  
  
• Keep a diary of what you eat for a few days. Calculate your intake and decide where you should cut back. (You can find nutritional charts on the Mom's Assistant section of http://www.HBWM.com.)
  
  
• If you have cravings for something sweet, try eating something tart to curb the craving such as a pickle. If you crave crunchy salty snacks, try having an apple instead.

Take the leap. Commit to exercising a few days a week and before you know it, the benefits will be their own motivator! You will feel better, look better and be better.

Lesley Spencer is founder and president of the HBWM.com, Inc. Network whichincludes: http://www.HomeBasedWorkingMoms.com, http://www.WorkAtHomeKit.com, http://www.edirectoryofhomebasedcareers.com,http://www.momsworkathomesite.com, http://www.HBWMconferences.com, http://www.HBWMcanada.com and http://www.HireMyMom.com (coming soon!). She has a Master's Degree in Public Relations and has been featured in numerous media outlets including CBS News, Forbes, Business Week, Parents, Wall Street Journal and USA Today. She has been working from home for over 10 years and has two children whom she absolutely adores! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

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Frugal Winter Fun with Kids
Sara Noel

Winter is upon us. The kids get cabin fever quickly when their outside free time is limited. You're looking for some fun things to do before you all start climbing the walls. You don't need a wallet full of cash to enjoy the cold, snowy days. There are all kinds of frugal ways to enjoy the winter season together both indoors and outdoors. Here are a few frugal boredom busters to have as your 911 "plan" for the winter blahs.

Outdoor Fun

1. Homemade Snowman Kit
   It's just not winter fun without building a snowman. Assemble a snowman kit to have handy. Your kit can contain the following:A hat, scarf, mittens, plastic carrot nose, charcoal briquettes, (place in plastic baggie) buttons, and can add two dowels or branches for arms.
   
   
2. Obstacle Courses or Winter Olympics
   Jump over the mounds of snow or have relay races.
   
   
3. Snow Paint
   Mix food coloring and water and add to spray water bottles and spray the snow to make colorful works of art outside.
   
   
4. Homemade Bird Feeder and Bird Identification
   Need large pine cones, peanut butter, and birdseed. Add peanut butter to pine cones and roll in birdseed. Keep a journal of birds in your yard. Can borrow a field guide from your local library.
   
   
5. Snow Ice Cream
   Mixing together a quart of milk, an egg, 1 cup sugar, frac14; teaspoon salt, and 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract in a pan. Cook on stove top until mixtures thicken and cool to room temperature. Pour this mixture over fresh snow.
   
   Or
   
   3 cups loose clean snow
   2 Tablespoons milk
   frac14; cup sugar
   1 tsp. vanilla extract
   Mix all the ingredients.
   
   
6. Snow Golf
   Use a tin can buried in the snow for the holes or just carve out holes in the snow.
   
   
7. Winter Photography
   Take pictures of nature. Icicles, birds, trees, etc.
   
   
8. Identify Tracks in the Snow
   Check out a book from your local library on animal tracks.

Indoor Fun

1. Paper Snowflakes
   http://www3.ns.sympatico.ca/dstredulinsky/links.html
   
   
2. Paper Airplanes
   http://www.bestpaperairplanes.com/
   
   
3. Make a Snow Gauge
   Mark inch lines on a coffee can or plastic liter bottle with the top cut off and setting it outside to catch snow in.
   
   
4. Mister Grass Head
   Materials Needed:
   nylon knee stocking
   Grass Seeds
   Potting Soil
   Baby Food Jar
   Wiggle Eyes or glass paint/markers
   
   Using hosiery, place some grass seeds in the toe which is where you want the grass to grow. The hosiery is the head and the excess will be placed in the baby food jar to soak up water. The toe of the hose is the head and the grass will look like hair as it grows. The baby food jar is the body. Add some potting soil in the end of the hosiery on top of the seeds. Make sure the hosiery of seeds and soil is bigger than the opening of the baby food jar.
   
   Tie a knot in the hosiery to keep the seeds and soil in. Completely soak the soil/seed ball. Place the hosiery in a baby food jar filled with water making sure the head is above the mouth of the jar.Decorate the jar to look like Mister Grass Head's clothes and add a face onto the head.
   
   
5. Smores
   Indoor Smores
   1/3 Cup light corn syrup
   1 Tablespoon. butter
   1 (12 oz.) package chocolate chips
   4 cups honey graham cereal
   1 frac12; cups miniature marshmallows
   Bring corn syrup and butter to boil. Lower heat and add chocolate.Stir until chocolate melts. Add cereal and marshmallows and stir. Put in square pan, covered with foil. Let set and cut into bars.
   
   
6. Shadow Drawing
   Take brown grocery bags and tape together until you have enough paper to be the same size as your child. Have your child lie down on the paper bags and trace your child's outline. Your child can then color her "shadow" drawing to look anyway she wants.
   
   
7. Homemade Toys
   Decorate a paper towel tube. Paper punch a hole about an inch from the end. Now tie a mason jar ring to a piece of string about one foot long. Attach and tie the loose end of the string through the hole in the cardboard tube. Hold the tube and flip the ring up and try to catch it onto the tube.
   
   Or
   
   Try taking a plastic, Styrofoam, or paper cup and poking a small hole in the bottom, running a piece of yarn through and tying it securely in place and adding a large button on the loose end. Catch the button in the cup.
   
   
8. Bubbles in the Bathtub
   How fun to blow bubbles indoors. Here are some homemade recipes:http://www.bubbleblowers.com/homemade.html
   
   
9. Homemade Bowling
   Use empty water bottles or coffee creamer containers as the pins and find a spare ball to roll.
   
   
10. Indoor Snowball Fight
    Wad up newspaper balls and have a snowball war inside.
    
    
11. Homemade Hot Cocoa
    Nothing beats the winter chills away after a day of snow fun outdoors than hot cocoa. Make your own with this recipe.
    2 Cups nonfat dry milk
    1 Cup white sugar
    frac12; Cup cocoa
    frac12; Cup non-dairy creamer
    1 pinch of salt
    Miniature marshmallows
    
    Combine ingredients and mix well. Store in an airtight container. Add4 tablespoons of mix to a mug and add boiling water. Stir.
    
    
12. Window Fun
    Crayola Window Writers are a product that writes and easily washes off of windows. Can also purchase spray snow for windows.

Sara Noel is a freelance writer and the Editor/Publisher of http://www.FrugalVillage.com, http://www.HomesteadGarden.com and http://www.Homekeeping101.com Visit these sites for information on getting back to basics through frugality, gardening, organizing, home keeping, lost arts, simplicity, homesteading, and natural family living. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

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Character First; Designer Jeans Last
By Anne Leedom

Kids today are very fortunate. They have so many activities to choose from compared to what was available thirty years ago. However, parents might be cautioned to take a moment and decide#133;.is it really in your child's best interest that she take on the next round of activities? Does your child need the expensive items? Do you really have your child's best interest at heart? Let's take a look at what the experts say.

Research is very clear on this one. Kids who are taught the virtues of empathy, compassion and self-control#133;those are the kids that succeed. They succeed in relationships, academically, and financially. So, next time you are thinking of what to nurture in your child, think character first. These guidelines can help your child get the most of their activities without compromising the most important goals parents have#133;.teaching their kids to do the right thing.

• Set limitations in your household. It's all too common to hear what other kids have or get to do. However, we each need to decide in our own homes what is appropriate and best and then stick to it.
  
  
• Have your children earn their own spending money. They will scale down their wish list to affordable quantities and bargains. Children will reason: 'I can't afford this, but I can afford that#133; Life is about learning to make wise choices.
  
  
• Fill Kids Up From the Inside Out. Your children may be telling you that they feel empty inside, that they need artificial stimulation because they are hungry#151;hungry for you, the strong family unit. Talk to them more. Do activities together (not shopping). Make sure to have a family dinner hour to listen to them- try to listen more and only speak unless asked to. The best gift is yourself and your time.
  
  
• Do volunteer work with your children. Let them see the internal side of life, not merely the external, and how they can make a positive contribution
  
  
• Exercise with your children. Exercising will help children get rid of stress, raise their endorphins and make them happier.
  
  
• Encourage creative expression. This can be through writing, painting, music, sculpting, carving, cooking, etc. Original thinking will encourage children to become nonconformists, take the road less traveled by and therefore not need the validation of looking like everyone else. Fashion and materialism are expressions of personal style; encourage your children to develop their individual style.

I will be the first to say that money is a nice thing to have. It's a wonderful thing to provide well for your kids and enjoy the perks of life if you can. Just remember to incorporate a steady and consistent dose of gratitude and self-control, or the benefits you many be trying to give your child can actually come back to haunt them#133;and you.

Anne Leedom is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of www.parentingbookmark.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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Organize Your Communication


We all know that organizing your day will increase your productivity. It allows you to keep a record of things that you need to do and prioritize them to make better use of your time. It keeps you on track and helps you to organize your day. A planner is an essential tool for the busy woman whether she has a business, a career or an active household!

But, how many times have you had to return a phone call and forgot to mention an important point? Have you ever had a hard time formulating your thoughts in a letter? Did you ever email anyone and come to find out that they didn't quite understand what you were asking? And then, how much of your time was spent trying to clear up that communication?

We all know that effective communication is important, but what does that really mean in practical terms for busy women? Here are some tips that I use to help me make the most out of my communication.

1. Phone Calls
   Before you dial that number, make some notes on a piece of paper to remind you of the points you wish to address. Don't write complete sentences, but rather write a bulletized list so that it is easy to refer to while you are talking.
   
   Write the person's name at the top and, if this call is for business, some notes about that person that you remember. Have you ever called someone and, while it was ringing, forgot who you were calling? This technique helps with those 'senior moments . Good communicators are great listeners and your notes can help you communicate that you were listening to them when they mentioned that their Aunt Sally was in the hospital last week. How? Because you will remember to ask how Aunt Sally is doing!
   
   
2. Use an Outline
   Before you write anything (a letter, an email, a report or an article), you must organize your thoughts. The best way to do this is to use an outline. This ensures that your thoughts are complete, presented in a logical order and are easy to understand before you begin to write. You will notice that the writing goes much more smoothly when you do this too! An added bonus for those of you who don't like writing as much as I do!
   
   I can always tell when someone didn't organize their thoughts before hitting the keyboard or picking up that pencil because their communication is a jumble of disjointed ideas that hit you from all angles and leave you wondering.
   
   A confused mind will not act. If you have confused your Uncle Edward, he might not understand that you want him to watch the kids next Tuesday night. If you have confused your boss, she may not give you that project or that corner office you were trying to ask for. And if you confuse your customer, he will not buy from you!
   
   
3. Email
   Now that you have organized your thoughts, make your email posts easier to read by organizing their appearance! Remember that we live in a microwave society. People don't want to read a 6000 word essay on what you have done today#133;especially if it is all one big paragraph!
   • Keep in mind to whom your email is going. If it is to an entire group of people, make sure that this is something you wish to release to the general population. As you type, keep in mind that the group may be diverse in their religious or political beliefs so tailor your message appropriately so you can say what you mean!
   • Remember that your words are the only things your audience will have to help them understand what you are trying to say. They cannot see your smiling face or hear your sweet voice to help them understand where you are coming from. Choose your words wisely.
   • Make each new thought a new paragraph.
   • Use bullets or numbers in list format to make it easier for people to scan- because they will scan!
   • Watch your spelling, grammar and punctuation to make sure that you are not asking your reader to strain a brain cell trying to figure out what that word is.
   • Read over your message before you hit the send button to make sure that you haven't missed something that might make your communication confusing or that doesn't represent the tone you wanted your message to have.
   
   
4. Presentations
   It is generally acceptable to carry notes or index cards up with you when you are making a presentation of almost any sort. What is not acceptable is to read it verbatim while holding the cards up in front of you obscuring your face. Organize yourself for your presentation.
   • Know your audience. Consider what they value most and what they would like to know about you topic before you begin. Tailor your presentation to the average audience member, but leave room for the feelings and values of the others to whom you will be speaking.
   • Make sure that your notes are written like we talked about earlier for your phone conversations. Don't write complete sentences or you will be tempted to read them instead of refer to them.
   • If you use index cards, please number them. In case you accidentally drop them, you can quickly re-order them and go on with your presentation.
   • Prepare for your presentation by going over it several times until you become familiar with the flow without having to refer much to your notes.
   • Make sure you have any props or charts ready before hand and that you have worked with them during your preparation. Many is the time a presenter rushed out the door without the manuals they were going to hand out during the meeting or found that the had a hard time working with the 3 foot by 3 foot rice paper poster they planned on standing up on the table during their talk.
   • Walk the room. If you are unfamiliar with the room in which you will be speaking, arrive a few minutes early and walk through it to get a feel for how you will be presenting. Does it have a microphone? Does it need one?

A little organization and preparation goes a long way toward making your communication more clear! It will be less stressful for you, less frustrating for your audience and give you the best chance over-all to say what you mean. Happy communicating!

JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication and is the author of the Say What You Mean series of studies on effective communication skills. JoJo is a frequent speaker in the homeschool community, teaches seminars/classes based on her work, and has written various articles for publication. She has just released a new e-book written just for small business owners called Say What You Mean When You're in Business. JoJo lives in Southern California with her husband and two children. If you would like more information on JoJo or her studies, please visit www.artofeloquence.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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A Little Spring Cleaning
Cliff Ennico
www.creators.com

Every three months or so, I clean out my e-mail files to make my computer run faster. Whenever I do, I always run across a few e-mails from readers with terrific questions that are too important to delete without at least a 'quick and dirty response. Here are a few:

'I want to start a cleaning business for residential homeowners. It will be a sole proprietorship initially. I want to make sure no one else uses my fictitious name. What do I need to do, and how much will it cost?

As a sole proprietorship, you are usually required to file a 'fictitious name certificate with your county or city clerk's office for a small filing fee (usually $5 or $10). This doesn't give you the legal right to use the name, but a good clerk's office will always check prior filings to make sure no one else is using the same name in your city or county. Likewise, they will make sure no one else files a certificate after you with the same name. Sadly, in some larger municipalities, the clerk's staff are too busy to do a thorough search, such that two local businesses end up using the same name and have to 'duke it out in court.

If you need greater protection, you can register your name as a federal trademark with the U.S. Patent Trademark Office (www.uspto.gov) or a state trademark with your state Secretary of State's office (for a listing of Web addresses, go to www.iaca.org/members). This is the best protection for a company name, but it will cost you anywhere from $500 to $1,500, depending on where you live and how much research your attorney needs to do. DO NOT attempt to do it yourself online; most trademark sites are extremely tricky, and it's easy to make serious mistakes in the application process if you don't know what you're doing.

'I am starting a bridal accessories business that will be by appointment only. I am creating purses using public domain and out-of-copyright patterns, as well as my own designs. Since I will be selling only in local craft bazaars and boutiques, do I have to copyright my designs? I really don't want to do that.

There's no law that says you MUST copyright your original designs. It's just that if you don't copyright them (by registering your design with the U.S. Copyright Office, www.copyright.gov), anyone else can rip off your design and there won't be much you can do about it. Here's an idea. Make sure the following notice appears somewhere visible on each of your bags: 'copy;2005 [name of your company]. All rights reserved. By doing this, you are claiming what lawyers call a 'common law copyright, meaning that if someone blatantly rips you off and you can prove they did, you may be able to take some legal action even though you didn't register your designs with the Copyright Office.

'I received an e-mail warning today from a Website threatening to share and sell private information about me that they received from another Website. At the bottom of the e-mail, there's a note saying 'if you wish to eliminate your information from our database, you must send an e-mail to the following address and type in 'opt-out' in the subject tab. In the body of your message provide your name, address, city, state, Zip Code, Social Security Number and birth date.' Should I do it?

I would avoid doing this. If this Website obtained information about you from another Website, why would they need you to repeat all the information in your 'opt-out message? That seems a little fishy to me. I especially don't like the idea that they want your Social Security Number and birth date.

My suspicion is that this is an attempt to get information from you that they can then either sell to someone else or use to 'spam you themselves. Worse, you may be opening the door to a possible identity theft. Don't wait three months to delete this message; do it now!

Cliff Ennico (cennico@legalcareer.com) is a syndicated columnist, author and host of the PBS television series 'Money Hunt'. This column is no substitute for legal, tax or financial advice, which can be furnished only by a qualified professional licensed in your state. To find out more about Cliff Ennico and other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit our Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2005 CLIFFORD R. ENNICO. DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

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