05/13/2010
I'm turning my blog today over to a 15 year old, who wrote me the following:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Hi. My dad sent something to my email that frankly made me sick. A young 13 year boy is now the father of a baby girl that was just born last Monday. The fact that the parents of this young boy let him have a 15 year old girlfriend, and the fact that they support this, makes me angry.
This poor little girl is going to grow up with an extremely young mother, an even younger father, and is probably going to live in a broken home. These kids are not ready to be parents.
Fortunately, my parents are together and happy, and all my life I've been given examples of what a relationship should be. I'm 15, and will never make the mistake of getting pregnant before I'm married. I feel sorry for the mother and father of the baby, because they've been robbed of their childhood. They will never get the freedom now that I have.
I've listened to you for as long as I can remember, and I guess some of what you've been saying has sunk in. I was talking to my mom about the story and telling her how this baby needs to be given a good home with GROWN UP parents to take care of her. I couldn't help thinking afterwards "WOW! That sounded like Dr. Laura!" Thank you so much for your preaching, teaching, and nagging that helps many little babies just like this one.
It makes me cry to think that this story probably won't have a happy ending, and my heart goes out to that baby. Thank you so much for fighting for kids who can't speak for themselves, and being a great role model.
Laura O.
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Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Teens, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Pregnancy, Sex, Sexuality, Social Issues, Teens, Values
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05/13/2010
"I love your show, but it makes me CRAZY when you subscribe to the double standard that men get a pass on being sexually cavalier but women are to be thoroughly and soundly condemned.' Why, oh why, don't you condemn the men as much as the women?' Why aren't they just as 'piggy' and deserving of condemnation?' That societal attitude encourages men to attempt to use women sexually as their birthright and also encourages women to be insecure and distrustful of sex in general.' You're putting a sexual burka on women overall with that attitude.
I'm not advocating casual sex.' I'm condemning the acceptance of a double standard.' Come on!' There are two sides of that coin and each should assume major responsibility for engaging in casual sex.' Until the act is equally condemned, how can women take those rules seriously?"
This is a recent email from a listener taking me to task for what she perceives is a sort of anti-female, double standard mentality.'First of all, God and nature are responsible for the
reality
of a double standard.' Women have breasts from which to suckle the baby born from their uterus after a nine month gestation.' Women's high-pitched voices and hearing are geared for the infant-mother bonding that miraculously takes place right after birth.' Women's temperaments to nurture, cuddle, coo, and protect are hardwired into their psychological programming.' Women are
different
from men.There is no question that men more easily dissociate love and sex.' Young males in particular are open to sexual experiences for the challenge, orgasmic satisfaction, and status among other males.' These qualities are not synonymous with femininity.Women give themselves sexually to men out of love, a desperate desire to be wanted and loved, or for money.' It is not typical, as it is with men, for a woman to feel proud of the number of men who have penetrated her; and the only women who look for the sexual challenge are those so twisted with anti-male rage that domination of a male is a form of psychological rape which satisfies that neurotic anger.Males are generally out of control every which way until they fall in love and take on the obligations and responsibilities of a man committed to a woman and family.' All the research demonstrates that men who are married make more money, are healthier and happier, and function better socially than "loner" men.' In fact, the deranged males who perpetrate horrendous acts of violence are generally such loner males with no families to make them feel important, give them purpose and direction...and love.Women are the taming and socializing force in society.' Men will only do what women allow.' Remember the ancient Greek classical play
"Lysistrata"
?' The women in the town refused to have sex if their men continued to participate in war and violence.' Poof, all the violence stopped.' Women have always had the power over men; but feminism got women off the track of realizing that, and on the track to only hating or disdaining men.Now,
women
have largely become "pigs."' Instead of embracing modesty, pride, values, and self-value, they parade around showing their bodies like Playboy bunnies, have sex before "hello," shack up with men without marital commitment, make babies on their own (declaring that men/fathers aren't necessary), use abortion as birth control, and don't imagine feminine sweetness has any place in marriage and are bored with sex with their husbands but turn on to every other Tom, Dick, and Harry.' That is why men have little respect for women these days.
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Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Commitment, Feminism, Personal Responsibility, Sex, Sexuality, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
A Connecticut state lawmaker is proposing legislation that would bar schools from punishing students for their electronic insults - even if they write them on class computers during school hours.This idiocy is in response to the punishment meted out to Avery Doninger, a 17 year old high-schooler who was disciplined in 2007 for writing a blog from home using vulgar language to defame and insult school administrators.School authorities barred her from running for office at Lewis B. Mills High School in Burlington as a "punishment."Her parents - of course-- are suing!I can't believe I heard the whole thing.On FoxNews.com, almost 100 people put in their two cents; the following was the most cogent of the bunch:
"'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.'' As far as I can tell, Congress did not impede on her freedom of speech. The child needs to learn that while she is free to say whatever she feels, there are repercussions to the things we say."
And there it is.' You have the freedom so say whatever you'd like - without any consequences?' I think not.Colleges and employers have recourse to Internet records and can judge students by the electronic trail they've left behind, according to Tom Hutton, senior staff attorney for the NSBA (National School Board Association).' Well, let that be a lesson to adolescents who feel bigger than their britches with this pending legislation!The girl's mother
"wished her daughter 'had used more sophisticated language.'"
Instead of standing by the school punishment to teach her daughter the consequences of not thinking behavior through in advance of indelible actions, she's making it a cause for free speech.'Oh please.' It's another one of those cases of parents defending their children right or wrong because they don't want any criticism or don't want to risk their children's ire by punishing them for wrong- or stupid-doings.'Imagine if the
teacher
had put on a website that this girl was a "douche bag."' Would anyone defend the teacher or would he or she have to take sensitivity classes and then be fired anyway?We are getting way too far in
"The Lord of the Flies"
for my tastes.
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Tags: Abuse, Child Abuse, Education, Family/Relationships - Teens, Personal Responsibility, Political Correctness, School, Social Issues, Teens, Values
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05/13/2010
Kellogg's, the cereal and snack manufacturer, cancelled its lucrative sponsorship contract with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps because he was caught on camera smoking marijuana last fall.' Apparently, all the other companies with similar contracts did not cancel their contracts with him.' However, USA Swimming, the sport's governing body, has suspended him from competition for three months.My point of view is "hurrah" to Kellogg's and USA Swimming team.' They are demonstrating to the children and young adults of America that the perks of fame are earned in an ongoing manner with not only the accomplishment (Gold Medals from the Olympics) but a continuous responsibility to represent the team, the sport, and personal character with honor.' Having consequences for bad judgment and stupid (as well as illegal) behaviors teaches children and young adults to think twice before sacrificing so much for so little.
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Tags: Addiction, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Marijuana, Personal Responsibility, Response To A Call, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
Lately I have chastised a number of male callers for being "wussy." This label is often pinned on their wilted chests after I give some great advice which requires them to actually stand up at home and proclaim: "I am a man - not an animal!"...oh wait, that's from the movie
"Elephant Man."
Well, basically the problem is that most men today are afraid of their women.' Their wives can nag them into a grave and or cut 'em off from any affection, attention, appreciation and sex.' That's pretty powerful stuff.' And then women wonder why they don't have passion and respect for their men.I asked aloud on my radio program for men to tell me why they've cut off their own "giblets" by not taking care of business at home, even if their wives disagree with stuff that should be common sense (like the case of a 12 year old girl, who was wearing a thong and a short skirt which started and ended at her pubic area).Neil, a listener, sent this answer:
"As a faithful listener and devotee of your program, I have heard you scold men for being afraid of the wives/women, instructing them to act like or be a man. As a man, I heartily applaud your directives and only wish it were that easy - to simply snap out of a momentary distraction or passing lack of strength.' Sadly and scarily, it is far from a mere lapse of attention or fortitude - we are in a veritable struggle for our male lives against an angry, entitled and politicized culture that belittles the role of fathers (sperm banks and single motherhood), demands equality just for starters and purveys an attitude of supremacy in schools (where two-thirds of today's college grads are females), the workplace and at home.
"If only it were a matter of putting our collective foot down and simply demand respect, most of us men, husbands and fathers, would gladly oblige...stepping up to the plate to shoulder our responsibilities to protect and provide and lead - as we always have.'''"But when you're fighting with one arm tied behind your back, skating on a sheet of ice as the rules continually change without notice, there's little chance of success.
"So, we back off, uncertain even of what it means to be a man; confused about what is expected, further unsure about what we will be allowed to do.' And, while I pity the beaten man today, I fear even more for the women, families and societies of tomorrow, who will bear the consequences of all of this misguided anti-male/masculinity behavior today."
I second his concern.
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Tags: Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Marriage, Men's Point of View, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
Transcription of Opening Monologue from Dr. Laura's program 1.23.2009
Dr. Laura:
Well, we have another anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade "you can kill the babies in your body" law.' And there was a big march yesterday and, supposedly, our new president was going to be signing an executive order un-doing Bush's, which undid Clinton's, which undid the first Bush's (they went back and forth) about the government putting money in non-governmental foreign concerns, when there are abortions, so that we, the tax payers, wouldn't be paying for it.Now, apparently, there's going to be a lot of money in perpetuity, for the rest of all humanity, going to the number one baby-killing mechanism in the United States, which is, in my opinion, Planned Parenthood.' So I've been beseeched and besieged with people telling me to go to war over this.' I've given it great thought and slept on it.' Me?' I'm no wuss - if there's a battle to be fought, I'm there, with pearl-handled guns.' No question about it.However, approaching this issue of abortion through the legislature and the courts is a lost battle.' Totally lost battle, in my opinion.' And since I'm big on personal responsibility and moral choices, that's where this ought to go.I am here every day begging, pressuring, cajoling, negotiating, nagging people to do the right thing, especially when it comes to their kids.' Not divorcing, unless it's dangerous or destructive in some horrendous way, because kids need an intact family.' Not to have kids out of wedlock intentionally, because that ruins their lives, statistically speaking, emotionally and psychologically.' And not to have abortions.' You live with
that
for the rest of your life, and there's a dead human being who could've been somebody really special.So, basically, I sit here every day, well five days a week, and put pressure.' Pressure, pressure, pressure.' I give the arguments I can, write the books and support, what I believe, are more humane decisions.' And that's the way it's going to have to be.' The law could say that it's perfectly legal to rip a baby out of your body anytime you damn well want.' But the law can be there, and we can choose
not
to do it.' It's not against the law to not have an abortion.' It's not against the law to put a child in a situation for adoption.' And, is the only time we're going to do something, is when there's a law?' Can't we do the right thing without a badge in our face?So, in your families, you can teach your children that affordable housing means housing you can afford, not housing the tax payers can afford for you, but what you can afford for you.' I've lived in some sad situations, but that's because that's what I could afford.' So, for me, that was affordable housing.' To say somebody else has to afford your housing is not the mentality this country was built on.' And it's certainly not a mentality that makes you feel good about yourself.' That it's perfectly legal to get pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, doesn't mean it's something you
ought
to do or it's a
good
thing to do.' It can't make you feel better as a person or a woman, when giving somebody you created the opportunity for life is a better choice.So I give up with the Planned Parenthood nonsense.' That, to me, is just part of the evil empire...that place.' And I give up with Roe vs. Wade.' I give up with that.' You're not going to get anywhere with that, folks.' Give that up and turn to each other.' Stop looking for the government to take care of this.' Look to yourself.' Influence each other.' Do the right thing; be open about it.' Anybody who's ever gotten pregnant in the wrong situation and put a baby up for adoption, say it out loud!' Make it be a wonderful thing!' Not a thing of shame, but a wonderful thing - that you were willing to sacrifice nine months of your life, plus the nine months it takes to get your body and mind back together again, in order that another human being, brought into this world by no fault of their own, no doing of their own, has a life.' You should be proud of yourself.' That's why when women call me and tell me they put children up for adoption they couldn't take care of, I tell them they're my heroes.' So, stop looking to the government for the handout, the bailout, the law.' You know what the right thing is to do.' You know.' You know the right thing to do.' Unfortunately, since the beginning of time (read the Bible) the influences around you try to dissuade you from doing the right thing.' Listen to the small, still voice:' Your conscience that tells you the truth.' Follow that voice.' If not, follow mine.' Okay?
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Tags: Charity, Morals, Ethics, Values, Personal Responsibility, Planned Parenthood, Politics, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
I understand that Ann Coulter - not a woman to mince words - has been on numerous radio and television programs pointing out that most of the children and young adults with all sorts of emotional, educational, criminal, and relationship problems are the product of un-wed mothers.' While on the television program "
The View
," the one conservative co-host challenged Ms. Coulter by suggesting that this is the problem because of the men who walk away from their responsibilities.' The audience went wild with enthusiasm, undoubtedly happy that the "blame" moved from women to men.Frankly, my friends - that really doesn't wash.' Of course a man should feel and be morally responsible and obligated to the children of his loins.' However, women's bodies are the place where the creation and gestation of new life occurs - which gives them the greater obligation to be circumspect about when and with whom they have sexual intercourse.' Many women, lesbian or heterosexual, are having babies without the participation of a father in the child's life ... on purpose!' Many women have abortions against the wishes of the man who would be "father."' The situation is therefore quite complicated.Yet the fact remains: the optimal circumstance in which to raise a child is in the bosom of a married mom and dad.' Facts are facts, in spite of emotions.' That there are exceptions gives hope to the few, and ignores the pain of the many.I hold women more accountable for the well-being of children because they have the majority of the power; legally, physiologically, and emotionally.
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Tags: Children, Education, Family, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Family, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Relatives, Social Issues
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Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Charity, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Social Issues, Values
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