Dr. Laura Blog

Jealousy is a normal human reaction. When you’re a little kid, you might be envious towards your sibling because you feel threatened by the loss of affection, attention, and approval. However, as you get older and more mature, you realize that someone else’s success has nothing to do with your value. You have to develop your own sense of value.

If you tend to struggle with feelings of envy, here are 3 ways to be less jealous of others’ success:

1. Stop comparing yourself. Some people are going to be better at certain things than you, and others are not going to be as good. There’s nobody at the total top and nobody at the total bottom. If you spend your life comparing yourself to others, you’re going to be miserable, or snarky about people who you think are less than you, which is terrible behavior.

2. Admire their success and learn something from it. I really enjoy the show American Ninja Warrior because everybody is pulling for everybody else. When a contestant fails to complete an obstacle and falls into the water, their competitors actually look pained. Revel and rejoice in the successes of people who have worked hard to earn something. Make yourself better by their example. And if you haven’t paid the price, don’t envy someone who has.  

3. Compliment the person you’re feeling jealous towards. If you have a miscarriage and your friend gets pregnant, don’t cut them off out of spite. Extend yourself. Compliment the baby. Ask if they need help.