Parenting

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC
MaryJoRapini.com

This is the technology age, and many teens seem to prefer spending time with their phone over mom and dad. However, parents need to understand that being engaged with their teen is the single best protection from danger associated with sexting, texting and Facebook. Many parents struggle with beginning a dialogue with their teens. Below are twenty five ways for parents to engage and get to know their teen's life better.

1. Make a date with your child and schedule time each week.


2. Take an exercise class with them.


3. Watch a TV show together and talk about it afterward.


4. Work on a puzzle together.


5. Bake chocolate chip cookies together.


6. Get up early and watch the sunrise with hot chocolate.


7. Look at old photos together.


8. Play cards or other games with your child that will help encourage talking.


9. Make something together. Things such as birdhouses or restoring something in the house are great projects to encourage time to talk.


10. Write down old memories so you can tell your child what they were like when they were small.


11. Pull out your child's baby book and enjoy their baby years together.


12. Talk to your child about recent teen topics you hear about in the news, and share you concerns.


13. Ask your child what they think is important with world events?


14. Ask your child how they feel about their faith, and their beliefs about God and spirituality.


15. Talk to your child about things they think would have helped them more in their elementary years.


16. Get a pedicure or manicure with your daughter. With a son, you can take them to get their hair cut. This is a time you can compliment your child, and also be available to listen to their concerns about their body image.


17. Practice healthy stress coping skills. Teach your child healthy ways to deal with stress as that is the one constant.


18. Cook one night with your child, and let them invite three of their closest friends.


19. Talk to your teen about their future. Educate and talk to them about finances. Help them set up a bank account, and talk about the importance of saving money.


20. Go for drives with your child, shut off the music and listen to them.


21. Share favorite music and talk about the lyrics.


22. Share a project together whether it is planting flowers, trees or knitting something.


23. Engage via text, phone or email with your child each day. Make sure your child knows where you are at all times, and know where they are.


24. Talk to your teens about their Facebook page. Make sure you can look at their page whenever you want.


25. Talk to your teens about who they text, instant message and engaged with virtually.


26. Make sure your teen knows there is nothing they cannot tell you. Let them know you will save any emotional reaction to securing their safety and health.


27. Save at least thirty minutes a day to just sit by your child even if there is no talking.


28. When your child is upset give them space, but reassure them you are available when they are ready to talk.


29. Keep strong boundaries with rules and consequences in your home, and follow through with what you say.


30. Tell your child every day you are grateful they are in your life, and you cannot imagine your life without them.

The teen years can be tough years, but no other years will influence your relationship with your child in the future as much as these eight years. Spending time, listening and sharing with your teen is so important. Make the time. You will never regret time spent with your child.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at MaryJoRapini.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com