Dr. Laura Blog

Marriages die when husbands stop treating their wives like girlfriends and wives stop treating their husbands like boyfriends. Being your spouse’s boyfriend/girlfriend means treating him/her like you did in the beginning and not taking each other for granted. Today, I’m only going to focus on the wives. So ladies, listen up. Here are 7 ways to be your husband’s girlfriend after you’re married:

1.  Ask for his advice. Chances are you didn’t marry him because he was stupid - you married him because he had something to offer. Whether it’s trouble with a girlfriend, something at work, or considerations about politics, ask for his advice. Show that you respect his opinions and his ability to make decisions. It doesn’t mean you have to lockstep with him and do everything he says; it means you tap into his well of knowledge and his (perhaps) more objective perspective. Plus, men feel good when their wives come to them for advice. 
   
   
2. Take an active interest in what he does for a living. Be a sounding board for the frustrations and aggravations, and a cheering section for the successes. If you don’t, he’ll only feel more lonely and cornered in his own headspace because on top of being miserable at work, his wife doesn’t seem to care or understand. 
3. Brag about him. Most wives bitch about their husbands. Be the one who brags instead, both when he’s there and when he’s not around. 
   
   
4. Make mental notes about things he mentions. If he talks about wanting something in passing, make a mental note of it and make it happen. 
   
   
5. Express your admiration. Think about how you look at him. Pay attention to the tone you use when you talk to him. Men are far less verbal. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. 
   
   
6. Be his support system. Give him plenty of support as he pursues career goals, education, and hobbies. Encourage him when he gets down. 
   
   
7. Say you’re sorry. Love is NOT about “never having to say you’re sorry.” It’s actually just the opposite. When you love someone, you hold yourself accountable, acknowledge when you’ve done something wrong, and ask for forgiveness.