Parenting

Are You Too Busy For Play? Jodie Lynn ParentToParent.com Work-at-home-parents can get pretty busy. Our world is a whirlwind filled with schedules and constant deadlines. Make sure you are taking time out for a simple but important pleasure with your kids: PLAYING. This doesn't mean you have to always entertain them or even have company over for them everyday. Just take a breather here and there to monitor their playtime and implement unscheduled time for them to just be a "kid," and the same can be said for you. Enjoy being a kid with your child. Playing With Others or With Mom and Dad If you are wondering if it#146;s OK for your child to be perfectly happy playing with play dough by herself, don#146;t fret. It#146;s not a big deal. In fact, it#146;s perfectly normal to stand back and watch others interact. Most toddlers aren#146;t into social behavior until the age of two or three. Check out this handy checklist, relax and join in. Play can be fun and (Birth to age 15 months) - Repetition play helps the child to learn about her world. Dropping an object is one of the most common games. Even a six-month old will drop something and watch to see if someone will pick it up. If it does get picked up, it delivers pure delight when she gets to drop it over and over until someone stops picking it up. YOUR PART: While it may drive many of us nuts, it is an excellent way to help the child gain control over her immediate environment while mastering a new skill. Play along with her only when you know what is going to take place and schedule time (and frame of mind) to interact. (Age 15 months to 2 years) - Observing others but not participating is often referred to as the onlooker stage. This is common among all children. Playing by themselves is called solitary play. Here they just play by themselves. While older kids do this as well, it is not as popular as actually engaging in activities unless the child is reserved (which most parents refer to as being #147;shy.#147;) Whether observing or playing, both helps the child learn how to get along with others, building social skills while exposing them to language. YOUR PART: A popular activity for this age group is building blocks. They love to stack them up and then watch them fall. It is a perfect activity for a parent to do with the young child. It can also become educational by buying the colored blocks and naming the colors as you stack them. Most of the blocks have numbers, pictures and even letters on them as well. Don't hit her with everything at once. One day work on the colors, the next the letters, etc. Have fun. (Ages 2 to 3 years) - Most older toddlers play side by side but are not really playing. This is called parallel play. There may not be any real interaction but it still provides a perfect chance to begin learning what belongs to whom...but mostly #147;mine.#147; As they watch others and maybe dress up while pretending to pour and serve a drink, they are experiencing their first taste to role-playing. All of this helps develop gross motor skills as well as some fine motor skills. YOUR PART: Boys and girls alike love to serve tea, cookies and pretend to cook. The play kitchens are an excellent interactive tool. As many of you know, the cooling utensils as well as dishes can be purchased to add more lifelike play. Again, this is very important play and work at home parents really need to plan on a good 40-minutes with this one. (Ages 4 to 4 1/2 years) - This age group displays very unstructured organized play called associative play. An example of this would be when children are all sharing a box of action figures, but may all be playing different things with their own figures. Another example would be where children decide to play with a common aspiration in mind, like entertaining each other by singing a song for a pretend audience. The more interaction children have with other children, the better understood the rules of getting along will become. Playing with others teaches how to share, encourages language and the introduction of being fair. This age group can become quite creative and gain great self-esteem (especially if parents let go of the perfect child syndrome). YOUR PART: Dump out a bucket full of action figures and begin role playing. Let your action figure (yes, this includes Barbie) to make up or sing a favorite song. Show your child how important it is to take turns. Be silly and enjoy this age and stage in your child's life. School-aged children (age 5 and up) - Here is when things begin to turn into clear competition. While younger children often feel frustrated with rules of winning, the positive side is that games and rules offer the chance to build character and close friends with a couple of others. As they grow older, they will enjoy being part of a group (some like large groups while others prefer small groups) which will help them become aware of different children and different ideas. YOUR PART: Grab a kick ball or any sizable soft ball and head for the backyard. Show your child how to kick the ball, show her the positive side of making it around the base line (running form base to base) and going in to home plate. Let her decide where to put the bases and what to use for the bases. Maybe she can invite over a couple of friends and you can become a team? Just remember, when other kids come over to play, you will also assume the role of coach, nurse and referee. To think you are going to get much work done would be pretty silly on your part. So, don't do it. There's a big kid in all of us so let yourself go and have a little fun with your play partner. Why? Because play is serious business...just don't let them know this! All in all, if your child is not into other kids, don #145;t push too hard. She will come around when she is ready. For now, give her the space she may need to become more independent while still being there when she needs you and play, play play. Jodie Lynn is an internationally syndicated parenting/family columnist. Her latest book is Mommy-CEO, revised edition, Martin-Ola Press. (It's not just for moms!) Please see www.ParentToParent.com for more details. copy;2004 Jodie Lynn. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.