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Defending Against a Bully
01/17/2012

Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger and welcome to our YouTube Channel.  Elizabeth has written us:

"As a parent and a teacher (currently a stay-at-home-mom), how do I explain to a child when and how they should defend themselves when they are being harassed or physically hurt by another child? When I was teaching, there were several incidents in which a child trying to defend himself got in trouble (and the bully did too). How is that possibly fair?  I just want to do the right thing and need your help."

I worry about the demasculinization of the males in our society on so many levels: the feminist movement, calling everything masculine somehow sick and horrible and beneath what is really human and wonderful, and the schools which consider defending one's self or someone else the wrong thing to do and punishable.  But, whether you are male or female, that is really a stupid consideration and this is what I tell parents: I don't care what the school rule is, you tell your children and you teach them how to do it; you put them in a class where they can learn to fight and protect themselves. 

The first thing they learn is how to avoid it.  If you can't avoid it, take care of it quickly.  So, you tell them, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never harm me."  If someone calls you a name, you tell your kid just laugh in their face and walk away.  Somebody lays a hand on your kid or someone else's kid, you tell your kid, they started it, you finish it and I'm going to teach you how to finish it.  And, don't worry about getting in trouble at school, our attorney will take care of that. 

There is no place in this land where you are not permitted self defense except in public schools and I don't think that's the training ground to teach people not to protect themselves and not to protect other people.  I think that's counter to everything that is American.  So, my boy came home once from middle school and said, "I got in trouble at school.  I was in a fight."  I said, "Who started it?"  He said, "This one boy hit this other boy." I said, "Well, who finished it?"  He said, "Well, I kind of did."  I gave him a high five and took him out to dinner.  My husband went and dealt with the school (I think he was afraid to send me.  I don't know why.).

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, until next time on YouTube, go do the right thing!

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Defending Against a Bully 

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Tags: Bullying, Education, Family/Relationships - Children, Parenting
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