Dream A Little Dream With Me
By Cheryl Gochnauer
As an at-home parent, It's important to surround yourself with people whosupport your family-focused decision. To illustrate this point, this week I'm including part of a message board posting from a Homebodies reader,Shelly, and some responses her posting:
"Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being married to my handsomeprince, having babies and making my home a safe harbor for my family andfriends. It was a simple, non-glamorous dream, but it was my heart'sdesire.
"I am the only lady to stay home with children in my husband's family, andevery now and then I get feedback as to my lifestyle. Recently, I washaving a conversation with my sister-in-law, who doesn't have any kids. Wewere talking about working, and she commented, 'Well, I could never seemyself staying home with my children, because I wouldn't want to lose touchwith reality and having a structured life.'
"When I get these little jabs, it hurts. But I have never felt the need tobe like everyone else; in fact, as I get older, I try very hard to be myselfand am thankful I am what I always wanted to be: a wife, mother andhomemaker."
- Shelly
When Shelly's posting went up, several Homebuddies jumped in to encourageher:
"When I was a stay-at-home mom, my life wasn't structured. That's what Iloved about it. We woke up when our bodies told us to; we played outsidewhen the weather let us; we went with the flow. As far as being in touchwith reality, that is a common problem with some SAHMs. If you aren'tcareful, your entire life will revolve around sippy cups and potty training."
- Jennifer
"My own sister is married and doesn't have kids. For a long time she usedto harass me about staying home and doing 'nothing' all day. Until shewalks the walk, she's not going to know. Don't let people get to you. Youknow your heart; stand by what you believe."
- Terri
"Although your desire was to be a mom all along, lots of us dreamed of acareer, house, hubby AND kids, so it may be very hard for your sister-in-lawto imagine that your dream was different. It wasn't until we had all thosethings that some of us realized our values had changed."
- Mary
I appreciate the thoughts expressed in each of these ladies' postings. Areyou looking for the same sort of support as you're tackling your at-homeparenting role? Visit the message forums at Homebodies (www.homebodies.org)and link up with new friends with common goals.
Not connected to the Internet? Check with your local churches and boards ofeducation to discover parenting support groups in your area. Like Jennifersaid, at-home life is more than "sippy cups." Mix up your routine bymeeting other like-minded moms, whether in person or on the Web.
(Advance copies of Cheryl's new "Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice onParenting, Finances, Career, Surviving Each Day Much More" are nowavailable [$10.99 plus $3.00 shipping/packaging]. "Stay-at-Home Handbook"has 42 chapters, featuring the insights of 60 families and a foreword by Dr.Laura Schlessinger. To order your autographed copy, email
Cheryl@homebodies.org
. Autographed copies of Cheryl's Mother's Day book,"Mom to Mom" are also available by going to this link:
http://www.homebodies.org/mom2mom.htm
)
