Dr. Laura Blog

Kids learn how to treat others by watching what you do. Here are 7 ways you and your spouse can show your kids you love each other:

1. Talk to each other with kindness. When you want your spouse to do something, ask, don’t demand.

2. Call each other silly, cute names. Using affectionate names like “Honey Bear” and “Snookums” shows playfulness.

3. Don’t badmouth or complain about each other. Many parents use their kids as confidants to whine and complain about their spouse. Don’t do that.

4. Don’t undermine each other. Unless your spouse is doing something to hurt, damage, or abuse your child, don’t undermine them. If you think a timeout should be shorter or longer, don’t have it out in front of your kids. Instead, discuss it later. Don’t show your kids that they can fight back against a parent or challenge authority. It won’t serve the family because they’ll divide and conquer.

5. Do little things for each other. Coffee, cocoa, or tea in bed. Ironing a shirt. Cooking a meal. Setting up a picnic. Kids need to see you doing sweet things for each other, especially when times are tough. It’s easy to be cooing and eyeing when things are going well, but kids need to see “in sickness and in health”, compassion, empathy, and support.

6. Surprise each other - and get the kids involved! If Mommy or Daddy ran the 5k today, make a cake with the kids with icing to look like a race and surprise your spouse together.

7. Show affection. Hug, kiss, touch, snuggle, and be sweet to each other. It’s really important for kids to see that.