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I'm Tired of Initiating


Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger welcoming you to our YouTube channel.  And our short, but sweet question is from Tasha:

"I have a lot of friends and a great family [Right there I'd be happy (laughs).  You can stop there.], however [uh oh], I am always the one to initiate getting together in any way (like for lunch, going shopping or just 'hanging out'). I am never asked by any of them and I am always the one to ask. 

Sometimes they respond 'yes' to me or sometimes they don't even respond at all. [Well that's odd...that's rude and that's odd.]  I am not sure how to handle this. It's starting to make me feel like I am doing something wrong.

What can I do to get others to make the first move?"  

Well in reality there are two types of people: the ones who aggressively set things up and the ones who go, "Yeah, that's a good idea."  That part I wouldn't be upset by.  You come up with itineraries of things to do and you want to share them with these people - that's kind of cool.  If you're asking too many people too many things too often, then people have their own lives and they don't want to be just circulating around any one of us.

So to the people that don't respond at all, I would certainly get on the phone and say, "I haven't heard back from you and I was wondering if there was a problem since I hadn't heard back from you."  I think people should be held accountable for that kind of rudeness.  But, you's just like husbands and wives when one says, "I always have to initiate sex."  Well as long as the answer is, "Yes" and you're getting it on, who cares!  That's my feeling about it - it doesn't matter.  I know it makes you feel like you're not wanted or nobody's interested but a lot of people just lead their lives in a way that is a little more passive in that regard.  And it's not personal, it's just who they are.

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  Until next week on our YouTube channel. 




Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Friendships, Relationships, Relatives
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