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My Rude and Immature Relative


I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, welcoming you to our YouTube channel.  And we have a letter from Chelsea for me to answer:

"A family member on my husband's side has never accepted me [(frowns and shrugs shoulders)] and is known to be rude and inappropriate with everyone else. [Oh, ok, so it's not personal.] He will focus on people's faults or perceived faults and make stabbing comments to make everyone feel horrible. [(Jokingly laughs) Everyone needs one of these in the family.]  He has even made comments to my children [Oooh] referring to their father in a negative manner and getting them to agree with him.  I have told my kids that they need to stand up for their father [Why do you let your kids be around this creep?! (Looks around confusingly and pauses)  Yeah, I got distracted there, didn't I?] (he's a loving and hardworking, dedicated family man) and that they should not agree with this man. He should not be saying these things about his relative either! 

I am sort of the outsider in this family but I want to take a stand and tell him that this behavior is not right.  So far, if anyone else tries to bring up his shortcomings or tells him that his children are rude or without manners, he stops the conversation and will not respond or gets mad. I want to make a statement that leaves him dumbfounded and mouth agape!   

How do I respond to this immature and ignorant commentary?"

Number one: what the hell are you doing in his presence?  I would tell my weak husband - who is allowing this to happen because it's his family - [forces fake smile] (sorry) that neither the kids nor I are going to be there.  Now, I don't think your kids are agreeing with him (with this rude person) because they actually agree, but they see him as more dominant than their own dad.  So your husband has to work on his own strength, but I would not have the kids or myself there.

Now, if I happened to be there and he started on anybody in the room [waves hand around room]...(what I'm going to tell you to say, I cannot really say on this YouTube channel because I don't think something classy, erudite, witty is going to make a difference).  I think you need to tell him he's an "[makes two double consonant mumbling noise with mouth]" and that everybody kowtows to him, which makes the entire family full of cowards, and you're not going to be in his presence anymore because he's a disgusting "[makes double consonant mumbling noise again and points finger]."

I think there are times when vulgar words are appropriate words to describe vulgar behavior.  Something is sacred, or it's not.  We use sacred words for things that are of value, and I think vulgar words have their place - [points finger sternly] and you have found it.

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  Until next time on our YouTube channel.



Tags: Behavior, Family/Relationships - Family, Manners, Marriage, Parenting, Relatives, Values
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