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Why Perfectionists Are Far from Perfect

Why do so many people feel a need to be perfect when intellectually they know they can’t? Because, their underlying motivations lead them to believe that if they are perfect, then (fill in the blank).

“If I am perfect, then I will be loved.”

“If I am perfect, then my kids will be healthy.”

“If I am perfect, then my parent will stop drinking.”

Let’s say you came from a family where there was a hell of a lot more criticizing and scolding than nurturing and loving. Kids in these situations turn out one of two ways. They either become rebels/raging jerks, or they become neurotic perfectionists. It’s a defense mechanism to deal with the uncertainty and lack of control in their world. Underneath the desire to be perfect is a desperate craving to be loved.

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Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Behavior, Divorce, Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Stop Whining, Start Living, Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Tips
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