An Oregon middle school teacher has publicly denounced the Tea Partiers - a grassroots political organization which opposes many of President Obama's health and financial concepts and actions - as "a loose affiliation of racists, homophobes and morons" among more offensive names.The school district placed him on leave, pending the conclusion of an investigation by the school district into whether he used school hours or computers to work on his anti-Tea Party website, and if his political activity was appropriate behavior for a teacher of middle school students.The teacher had announced his intention to embarrass Tea Partiers by attending their rallies dressed as Adolf Hitler, carrying signs bearing racist, sexist, and anti-gay epithets, and acting as offensively as possible, according to FoxNews.com.The Oregon Tea Party organization is quoted as saying that the teacher doesn't need to lose his job.' He just needs to have sensitivity and anger management training.I think they're just being politically correct.' He should be fired for sure.He has the responsibility of teaching and role-modeling the proper behavior for a citizen in a democracy.' Attempting to embarrass and destroy an opposing point of view is not part of the democratic process, in spite of the fact that it seems like the main means of discourse in our society at present.' And it has to stop ''somewhere.He could have had his students do a project, learning about the positions of the Tea Party movement, and to critique them, with pros and cons as they see them (in spite of the fact that most kids their age pretty much just parrot what they learn at home).' Nonetheless, debates and critical essays are what he should be teaching, not "search and destroy."I hope he is fired ASAP.'' Let that be a lesson! More >>

I have a very good friend (and I hope she thinks the same of me).' Her name is Sheridan.We have a kind of magic together:' we have a lot of interests in common and do "day road trips" to bead fairs, fabric stores, yarn shops and such, because we share craft hobbies and help each other with our projects.' The other day, she just showed up when I was on the air to give me some buttons she'd bought for a tote project gift I was working on.' With the buttons came a card which showed an old photo of two women friends on a couch.' Underneath the photo, the caption read: "A good friend will bail you out of jail.' A GREAT friend is one who sits beside you and says 'Wow, that was fun!'" I couldn't stop laughing when I read that, and while you should not take that literally, it does suggest that friends really get into each other in a special way. Friends want to experience each other's joys and heartaches as part of bonding with and mending each other.I have watched Sheridan put herself out for me, stand up for me, and bend over backwards to make me happy.' I am one lucky woman to have such a blessing in my life.' Friends - really good friends - are a rare commodity:' you have to have just the right chemistry, attitude, understanding, forgiveness, openness, kindness, and thoughtfulness.' A good friend brings all that out in you.' A good friend makes you a better person.I'm sure we've irritated each other from time to time, but we've never had a fight about it.' Why not?' Because good friends have each other's best interests at heart and accept each other's quirks with humor.The best way to have a good friend is also the best way to have a good 'marriage: choose wisely, and treat kindly.And consider yourself very fortunate if you have someone who resonates with you in this lifetime.Sheridan,'I love ya girl! More >>

Recently, I was walking from my kitchen to my office and passed by my TV, which was tuned to Fox News.' The anchors were promoting an upcoming story that I didn't stick around long enough to watch, but one which I want to comment on nonetheless.' They showed three pictures from a bank security video camera where a guy (who wasn't wearing a mask, and who may or may not have been carrying a weapon) was robbing the bank.'' Behind him was an older, larger man who had a very relaxed expression on his face - almost as though he wasn't aware that anything was happening.The next frame showed the robber turning to leave.' The third frame showed the large man "bear-hugging" this robber from behind - while still maintaining a totally relaxed expression on his face!The caption underneath proclaimed the bear-hugging guy to be a hero.Yes, he was.' He caught the bad guy.' But what struck me is that he waited calmly and then just acted - behavior which is very typical of hero-types.' They do what they do without agonizing over it, without mulling over their fears and potential losses.' They simply do the right thing.Jews for all times call the Christians and their families who risked torture and death in order to rescue Jews during World War II "righteous Gentiles," and hold them in supreme respect.' I have watched documentaries where righteous Gentiles explain why they did what they did when it was a potential death sentence.' To the one, they all said the same thing:"IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO."' It's how they were brought up.Heroes are so "matter of fact" about their extraordinary actions that they don't even categorize what they have done as "heroic" and it's not false modesty.' It's just that it was, for them, simply the right thing to do. More >>

A number of news sources recently reported that (sniff, sniff) people just can't afford to get divorced anymore, what with mortgages upside down, and diminished family income.Furthermore (more sniffs) , in most cases, the couples have to stay together under the same roof just to make ends meet.' No longer can divorced spouses count on maintaining a lifestyle.' No longer are kids summarily thrown into visitation chaos and feelings of abandonment....and that, obviously, is a good thing.One of the sadder aspects of my three decades plus on radio talking to people in some sort of crisis is the growing realization that many people see adversity as a motivation to turn on each other, rather than to turn to each other.' I understand husbands who feel depressed when they can't adequately support their families, and I understand wives who feel desperate because they worry for the well-being of their home and children.' But I don't understand turning away from each other at a time when both need support and hope.' Each spouse needs to (as Archie Bunker often said on "All In The Family" ) "stifle themselves" and try to buoy up the other's state of mind.In trying to make the other person still feel valued, competent and loved; in telling your spouse that you know that, ultimately, you can count on him/her; in letting your once "dearly beloved" feel your support, makes not only them feel better, it makes YOU feel better.I'm sure everyone reading this has some sort of strain or stress in their marriage.' Generally, it's something that can be overcome if you both pull together and put aside your individual resentments and fears long enough to follow through on your marital vows to love, honor and cherish. More >>

On Monday, I wrote about the event in Massachusetts that you've all heard about by now.' Several South Hadley, Massachusetts high school students are being tried on felony charges for the harassment of a high school freshman which led to her suicide.' It was worse than harassment - it was persecution, both physical and mental, and in the full view of other students and teachers.' No one did anything to stop them, not even fellow students.' Disgusting, really.What I want you parents to do is to teach your children to stand between evil and the innocent , even if they risk being ostracized or worse.' It is only when people stop just standing by that evil will be squelched.'My son came home from middle school one day to say he was in trouble because he was in a fight.' I asked what happened.' He told me that some kid was picking on another kid and it got physical.' I asked him what happened then?' He said that he got into it with the bully.' I asked him who won.' He looked down at his shoes and muttered "I did."I gave him high fives, made his favorite dinner, and sent my husband in to the school the next day to make it clear to the principal that we expected the bully (and not our son) to be punished.' I sent my husband, because he is more laid back than I (if you get my drift).We can have a million court cases and school suspensions. But it is only when parents teach their children to intervene that these bullies will be brought to their knees. They count on the cowardice of your children for their freedom to torment.' Tell your children to band together if necessary and do the right thing. More >>

There is a precedent-setting action being taken by the District Attorney in South Hadley, Massachusetts.' A high school freshman, Phoebe Prince, new in town from Ireland, was harassed by a pack of older teens.' This was school bullying taken to the extreme:' she was subject to threats and physical abuse, and unfortunately, this young girl hanged herself when she could no longer tolerate the terror.Criminal charges ranging from statutory rape to stalking and civil rights violations have been filed against the teenagers (two boys and four girls).Unfortunately, the criminal charges stop there.' I would add that teachers, the principal and the administration should be subject to criminal charges as well or a civil lawsuit, because the bullying was common knowledge for months, and the girl's mother twice complained to school staffers.' Some bullying was even witnessed by teachers.' It's time to rise up and counter this vicious free-for-all going on in our schools.Where do the kids get the gall to do this?' From everything around them!'Watch "reality" television.' It's all about being mean and out of control.' Even American Idol has so-called "judges" who insult people on national television.' Watch music videos and listen to mean/hostile lyrics with out-of-control sexually aggressive scenes.' What happened to the heartsick love songs of the 1950s?Watch television or listen to most radio with people shouting angrily at each other, accusing each other of racism and such simply for having a different opinion or point of view.' Dominating people by humiliation is what we do for entertainment in our society.' "Lord of the Flies"-type behavior from our children should not be a surprise.' What is a surprise is that adults and parents stand by, afraid of their own children and handcuffed by political correctness, where vile behavior now becomes protected speech.'That whole town of South Hadley, Massachusetts should be ashamed.' Phoebe's parents should have taken her out of that school the same way I tell parents in step-families to leave with their children when the spouse or the spouse's children become abusive.' The school should have thrown those brats out on their ears, worrying later about whether or not their parents would sue.If you're thinking "Well, no one could know that she would kill herself," you should know that according to one source, "one of the girls posted on Phoebe's Facebook page right after her suicide:' 'Accomplished.'"They tormented her to death on purpose.This is our next generation? More >>

Have you ever had the experience of trying not to think of something?' Like when you're trying to go to sleep and something upsetting keeps coming to mind?' You may attempt to squeeze it out of your mind, but it seems to come back with a vengeance.'What you learn about your mind is that when you try to shove something into a dark closet, your mind feels compelled to peek into that closet again and again to see if it's still there.'Everybody has memories from the past they'd rather not remember.Everybody has annoying, upsetting, or threatening events going on in their everyday lives.Everybody is bothered by thoughts they'd rather not have.Instead of pushing them away, invite them in and deal with them.Some callers have told me that after a year or two of marriage, they think about an old high school flame, and they wonder if this is an "omen" that they've married the wrong person.' No, of course not."Courting" is fun; marriage has obligations, responsibilities and challenges.' Even the things we love can feel overwhelming.' Fantasies and thoughts and dreams about someone else are brain "vacations," taking you to a time when you had no worries.' Invite those thoughts in and examine them:' "Let's see...if I married John instead of my husband Steve, hmmm...gee, I'd miss Steve's smile and hugs, his manly chest, his tenderness with the kids, and eventually John would have probably ticked me off too in some silly ways."Once you've done that, it is no longer an obsession.' The vacation is over, and a greater appreciation of what you do have takes its place.Don't fight the thoughts.' Invite them in and talk to them.' Take control, and they will leave on their own. More >>

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I have railed since day one when clinicians started calling bad choices and bad habits "diseases."The good news about calling alcohol and drug abuses "diseases" is that clinicians and others can reap financial rewards by charging insurance for their "medical" intervention.The bad news about calling substance abuse a "disease" is that the individual is robbed of his real ability to exercise choice and self-control , and such labeling puts the onus on society to give that individual a "pass" on taking responsibility for the consequences of the addiction.There is considerable proof that addiction is a choice:' the book "Addiction: A Disorder of Choice," by Gene M. Heyman, Harvard University Press, demonstrates many of them.'For example:' in 1970, it was determined that between 10% and 25% of enlisted Army men were addicted to high-grade Vietnamese heroin and opium.' When they were told they couldn't come home without being drug-free, the vast majority stopped using narcotics as the word of the new directive spread.' The vast minority who were detained for detoxification programs were clean when given a second chance.' Only 12% of soldiers who were dependent on opiate narcotics in Vietnam became re-addicted at some point in the next three years.The point is that calling alcohol or drug abuse a "disease" takes away from the individual the respect for his or her ability to choose.' Every behavior we have is somehow tied to genetics and the brain.' That doesn't make it a disease unless the individual has no choice .' Alzheimer 's disease gives you no choice.' Multiple sclerosis gives you no choice.' Alcohol abuse is a choice.Addicts are drawn to drug abuse to salve depression, anxiety, boredom, and self-loathing.' At the start of their addiction, they feel great, short-term, and they start giving up the joy in work, hobbies, family and friends.' After a while, they need the drug to salve psychic pain (which is now increasing with the collapse of other factors in their lives), suppress withdrawal symptoms, and eliminate the craving.' At some point, when these benefits come to be outweighed by the adverse fallout the balance shifts, and the addict chooses recovery.The concept of disease includes the obliteration of choice-making ability .' Fortunately, addicts can make a choice, and congratulations are in order to those who do! More >>

Tiger Woods is getting back to playing golf.' He'll be participating in the Masters 2010 in Augusta, Georgia beginning April 5.' I know a lot of people are happy about that, because they like to watch him play, and without him, the interest in golf apparently diminished, with enterprises associated with audience interest taking a great financial hit since he's been away from the game.Frankly, I don't care one way or the other.Nonetheless, NYDailyNews.com had a lengthy article focusing on Tiger's "confessions."' Evidently, he said he "was living a lie."' Well, that's true.' He was making lotsa money presenting himself as a clean-cut family guy, all the while arrogantly flying girls around the world to meet him for "sex breaks."He also said "Yeah, I tried to stop, and couldn't stop."' WHAT???' Where does the word "couldn't" come from? The only irresistible impulse is one which is not resisted. He enjoyed that very enticing perk of fame and money:' the adoration of women and lot of varied sex.' There's nothing new here in the history of mankind.Once you cross that line, however, it gets easier and easier to feel as though you are safe and entitled, and it becomes a bigger and bigger part of your everyday life - whether your obsession is sex partners or donuts.I'm disgusted that Tiger Woods is being yet another bad role model ("the devil made me do it, and I had to exorcise the devil in rehab").' To me, he is still lying.' He could control his impulse any time he wanted to, but he didn't want to.' The risk-taking was exciting, and the orgasms and feeling of sexual control over women was way too thrilling for him to decide to give up.' He's giving it up now because it ended up costing him big-time.' See?' The decision was made when the math came out different from before.In my book, Tiger Woods won't change until he takes responsibility.' In his comments, he also said that "stripping away denial and rationalization, you start coming to the truth of who you really are, and that can be very ugly." True enough.' And he should say the truth:' that he enjoyed the perks, but that the trade-off ultimately wasn't worth it. More >>