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05/13/2010
Recently, there was a news story about a woman who faced a felony charge of squirting breast milk into the face of a deputy law enforcement officer.The woman, from Kentucky, was arrested for public intoxication. As she was changing into an inmate uniform after her arrest, she squirted a stream of breast milk into the face of the female deputy watching over her.In the press release from the Kentucky Detention Center, the deputy de-contaminated herself from the "bio-hazard" and the woman was charged with third-degree assault.The original charge, public drunkenness, was merely a misdemeanor offense; the assault is a felony charge and a $10,000 bond was set.Of course, the media picked this up, and everyone chuckled at the story. People are debating about whether using breast milk as a weapon should constitute a felony assault case, and there are plenty of laughs going around.The deputy, however, is not laughing.She has to go through months of testing and waiting to see if she has contracted the HIV virus.Sadly (and stupidly, I think), we can't legally test the inmate immediately for HIV - some nonsense about privacy. We have to let the deputy wait, wonder, and worry. That's simply not compassionate and certainly not fair.That this inmate is drunk as a mother seems bad enough, but to intentionally squirt her bodily fluid into someone else's face has the intent to humiliate or harm.A felony charge is appropriate.And that baby needs a better mother.
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Tags: Breastfeeding, Health, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
A recent "non-study" purported to conclude that Botoxing the muscles between your eyeballs keeps you from frowning which feeds back to keep you from feeling bad, down, or negative.In other words, if you can't frown, you can't be unhappy!This is so stupid that it makes me wonder if the Botox industry paid this guy to come out with this as a means of changing the view of Botox from "cosmetic" to "injectable" psychotherapy.You wanna be happy for the rest of your life?' Well, you can do that even if all your "emotion" muscles work, and even if you are not particularly attractive.' Anyone walking around in a deliriously joyful stupor just because they got a little plastic surgery is unbelievably superficial to start out with.'A few times a year, I get my frown lines Botoxed, simply because I furrow that line deeper and deeper when I think or concentrate.' It gives the impression to others that I'm frowning, when I'm perfectly content with the universe.' Besides, a furrow that deep takes a lot of makeup to fill in that crevice, so I think of it as a cost-cutting measure too (kidding)!Right now, I'm writing this as I see the sun popping up from behind a mountain.' I am swept away by the majesty of this scene, and grateful that I am alive another day to experience this sunrise.
That
makes me happy.'' Being happy is mostly about what you choose to take in and what you're willing to give out.'Forget stupid studies about frown lines....they're meaningless against the beauty of a sunrise.
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Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Depression, Mental Health, Values
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05/13/2010
People in San Diego are understandably enraged and confused:' a convicted sex offender (who, in the past, had beaten and raped young girls and got only five years in prison) was let out on parole...to rape and kill a young woman
again
.In another part of the country, Gary Becker, the fifty two year old former mayor of Racine, Wisconsin had faced up to more than twenty seven years in prison after pleading guilty to child enticement and attempted sexual assault of a child.' What did he get?' His sentence was three years in prison.The judge in the case, Stephen Simanek, said (brace yourself) that he had been prepared to sentence Becker to probation - PROBATION!! - but was alarmed to discover that Becker had purchased girls' underwear two weeks prior to sentencing.'So, instead of probation or 27 years, he got 3 years (with the potential to get out in 1 1/2 years for good behavior - probably because there are no girls to rape in prison).'In my opinion, any judge who gives less than the permitted maximum should lose the bench.In my opinion, any Board of Parole that lets a convicted sex offender out before their maximum time is served should lose their position.It's a rare thing - in fact, I have NEVER read of a case of rape/molestation/murder of a child done by someone who had no previous record, so letting them out under any circumstances automatically condemns one or more children to rape and/or death.' Great comment for a civilization to make, right?
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Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
More than 80 million Americans are pet owners, and spend nearly 25 billion dollars on veterinary care.' Why do we do that?'Originally, animals served a largely utilitarian purpose:' horses pulled carts, dogs protected the farms, and cats ate rodents.' This dependency on animals to help us in our daily lives evolved into warm, close bonded relationships with them - and that's a good thing, but only up to a point.'Taking on the responsibility of caring for an animal is a sacrifice, and requires an unselfish commitment that elevates human character.' Making sure that your pets have food before you do, and providing a safe haven for them is an expression of compassion.' Enjoying the enthusiasm of your dog or cat when you appear on the scene, having your blood pressure drop when you pet them - those are the perks of having a pet around.'However, if you are infinitely more comfortable with animals than humans, the scales have tipped way too far in the wrong direction.' Human communication is largely verbal, and give-and-take is an essential part of human bonding (along with trust).' When an individual is fearful or hostile about human connection, it's nice if they have a pet (a warm mammal) to hold close, but it's not a substitute for a human relationship.''I get way too many calls from, for example, people like the woman who keeps a dangerous dog in the home (with little kids), because her husband chooses to keep the dog in spite of the threat to his own children; or the man who calls and complains that he has a ferocious allergy to cats, but his fianc'e will not adopt her cat out to let him move in after the wedding!' If this sounds like you or someone you know, it's time to revisit the situations, because choices like these are, obviously, the wrong choices.
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Tags: Attitude, Morals, Ethics, Values, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
Naomi Campbell is at it again.' She allegedly (that's for legal purposes) bopped her driver hard on the back of his head, which thrust his face into the steering wheel.' He called the police; she ran away.' No charges were filed...
again!
She's been accused of violent outbursts since the Nineties - money is paid/so-called anger management is had/community service is requested - but because she's a "supermodel," the money/hype/power behind that has kept her from the appearance she should be making:' in JAIL, JAIL, JAIL.' Ultimately, there have been no consequences that make a difference to her, and her sense of entitlement has grown to huge proportions.Some background on her I found on the Internet:' her father abandoned her and her mother at birth; her mother abandoned Naomi for a show biz career - Naomi was even involved in show business herself at a very tender age.' I can't be sure without knowing her up close and personal, or from psychiatric work-ups in the anger management sessions she supposedly had, but she sounds very much like she has
borderline personality disorder
.' That does not mean she is insane.' She's perfectly competent and aware of her actions and knows right from wrong.Personality disorders are consistent patterns of behavior that negatively impact relationships and work.' People with borderline personality disorder are impulsive, unstable in their moods, and have chaotic relationships (where they go back and forth from "love" to "hate," depending upon whether or not they are getting their way).' They tend to see things in extremes:' all good or all bad.' They also typically view themselves as victims of circumstance, and take little responsibility for themselves or their problems (which is why they generally don't improve).Their histories show abandonment in childhood, a disruptive family life, poor communication in the family, and sexual abuse.' Consequently, they experience feelings of emptiness and boredom, and displays of inappropriate anger, impulsiveness with money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, shoplifting, and more.They don't tolerate being alone, which brings me back to a reported quote by Ms. Campbell published in 2006 in the UK's
The Independent: "Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue, and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness."
It's sad, but the reality is that if there had been serious consequences for her behavior (rather than her being allowed to dodge prison time), then she might be more careful with the well-being of others.
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Tags: Abuse, Morals, Ethics, Values, Values, Violence
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05/13/2010
This is from Barry:
Dear Dr. Laura:
I was a participant in an unwanted, unnecessary divorce...because my wife wasn't 'happy.'' I have 3 minor children who, despite my tremendous efforts to the contrary...only get to see me 7-10 days a month.' I do everything I can to remain in their lives so I might display to them the importance and value of good character, good values/morals, and integrity....
For Valentine's Day, I wrote my 5 year old daughter a poem.' I'm not a poet by any means.' I'm your basic manly man.' These words simply came to me in the half-hour it took to write them down.' In it are references to many things we do as a
family
....I thought you might like to read it:
A Poem for Claire
A poem for Claire is what I will try.'I hope it turns out - ya see, I'm only a guy.'There are jobs that I have-'One is being your Dad.'Out of all of the jobs'That one makes me most glad.
We do things we like'And some we don't mind.'I'm pleased that you're nice'And so warm and so kind.
I tell you I'm serious'But you know that I'm not'We're both
very
silly'And we smile a LOT!
We sit out in back'And look at the clouds'You see shapes I don't see'You make me so proud.
Walking to school'Is always so fun.'It's been so cold lately'We can't wait for the sun!
You fiddle with your homework.'Maybe a snack instead?'But each night we read'Just before time for bed.
I love when we play'You're so very special'We dance and we laugh'Now it's time to WRESTLE!
We cuddle on the sofa'Watch TV at night.'But we don't watch a show'That might give you a fright.
We make up games to play'Sometimes go for a hike.'But what you like most'Is riding your bike!
You play Dan-Ball and Rock Band'And sometimes the Wii.'"Daddy, come look!'Come here! Come see!"
I'm busy in the kitchen'Moving fast there to here.'You're the first and the loudest'During our dinnertime cheer.
I miss you dearly'When we're far apart,'But I'll always remind you'I'm in your head and your heart.
The message is clear'In this poem you hear.'Your Dad loves you greatly'And I will always be near.
I want you to know'You're my best Valentine.'I will ALWAYS be yours'If you will be mine.
I love you.'Dad
You've made me a better man, Dr. Laura.' I thank you.
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Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Values
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05/13/2010
Former "Growing Pains" star Andrew Koenig killed himself, presumably with some chemical, and he did this in a park where he used to go to "chill" or "meditate." Apparently, he stopped taking his anti-depression medications, which then allowed him to sink into a very dark place. That means his decision to commit suicide was a considered one.He disappeared on February 14, Valentine's Day. I wondered about that when I heard that. Here he was, with no wife and family on Valentine's Day: alone, with a minor career (and he was also the son of a famous actor who was on the original "Star Trek" TV series). It seems he had also turned down a job offered by a friend, and when that friend was away, Andrew collected all the gifts his friend had given him over the years, and then made that last trip to the park.Of course, his parents are suffering deeply, but whatever emotions they're experiencing, guilt should not be one of them. The truth is that if a person is hell-bent on killing themselves, they will find a way.The most common cause of suicide is an underlying mental disorder, followed by alcoholism as the second cause, and drug abuse as the third most common cause. Financial difficulties or other undesirable situations can add stress too. Over 1 million people commit suicide every year, and it's the leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under 35.I've listed below all the warning signs, but people who don't clearly show these signs can kill themselves as well, and people who show most of these signs may not. There is no "cut and dry" signal, but there are indications which serve as a warning. When you're aware that someone is LIKELY to kill themselves, please call 911 and have that person taken to a psychiatric ward at your local hospital. Physicians have the legal option of a 3 day "hold" to discern whether or not that person is a threat to themselves or others. When that determination is made, the potentially suicidal individual may very likely be put in a "forced commitment" status for treatment. Even that doesn't insure
that
they will never commit suicide, so it is good to be alert and know how to respond.Here's an easy way to remember the warning signs of suicide (this is from the American Association of Suicidology):
IS PATH WARM?
I
Ideation
S
Substance abuse
P
Purposelessness
A
Anxiety
T
Trapped
H
Hopelessness
W
Withdrawal
A
Anger
R
Recklessness
M
Mood changesIf you observe these, seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or calling 1-800-273-8255 for a referral. You can find out more information at
http://www.suicidology.org
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Tags: Children, Mental Health, Parenting, Social Issues, Suicide, Values
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