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There is a precedent-setting action being taken by the District Attorney in South Hadley, Massachusetts.' A high school freshman, Phoebe Prince, new in town from Ireland, was harassed by a pack of older teens.' This was school bullying taken to the extreme:' she was subject to threats and physical abuse, and unfortunately, this young girl hanged herself when she could no longer tolerate the terror.Criminal charges ranging from statutory rape to stalking and civil rights violations have been filed against the teenagers (two boys and four girls).Unfortunately, the criminal charges stop there.' I would add that teachers, the principal and the administration should be subject to criminal charges as well or a civil lawsuit, because the bullying was common knowledge for months, and the girl's mother twice complained to school staffers.' Some bullying was even witnessed by teachers.' It's time to rise up and counter this vicious free-for-all going on in our schools.Where do the kids get the gall to do this?' From everything around them!'Watch "reality" television.' It's all about being mean and out of control.' Even American Idol has so-called "judges" who insult people on national television.' Watch music videos and listen to mean/hostile lyrics with out-of-control sexually aggressive scenes.' What happened to the heartsick love songs of the 1950s?Watch television or listen to most radio with people shouting angrily at each other, accusing each other of racism and such simply for having a different opinion or point of view.' Dominating people by humiliation is what we do for entertainment in our society.' "Lord of the Flies"-type behavior from our children should not be a surprise.' What is a surprise is that adults and parents stand by, afraid of their own children and handcuffed by political correctness, where vile behavior now becomes protected speech.'That whole town of South Hadley, Massachusetts should be ashamed.' Phoebe's parents should have taken her out of that school the same way I tell parents in step-families to leave with their children when the spouse or the spouse's children become abusive.' The school should have thrown those brats out on their ears, worrying later about whether or not their parents would sue.If you're thinking "Well, no one could know that she would kill herself," you should know that according to one source, "one of the girls posted on Phoebe's Facebook page right after her suicide:' 'Accomplished.'"They tormented her to death on purpose.This is our next generation? More >>

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Have you ever had the experience of trying not to think of something?' Like when you're trying to go to sleep and something upsetting keeps coming to mind?' You may attempt to squeeze it out of your mind, but it seems to come back with a vengeance.'What you learn about your mind is that when you try to shove something into a dark closet, your mind feels compelled to peek into that closet again and again to see if it's still there.'Everybody has memories from the past they'd rather not remember.Everybody has annoying, upsetting, or threatening events going on in their everyday lives.Everybody is bothered by thoughts they'd rather not have.Instead of pushing them away, invite them in and deal with them.Some callers have told me that after a year or two of marriage, they think about an old high school flame, and they wonder if this is an "omen" that they've married the wrong person.' No, of course not."Courting" is fun; marriage has obligations, responsibilities and challenges.' Even the things we love can feel overwhelming.' Fantasies and thoughts and dreams about someone else are brain "vacations," taking you to a time when you had no worries.' Invite those thoughts in and examine them:' "Let's see...if I married John instead of my husband Steve, hmmm...gee, I'd miss Steve's smile and hugs, his manly chest, his tenderness with the kids, and eventually John would have probably ticked me off too in some silly ways."Once you've done that, it is no longer an obsession.' The vacation is over, and a greater appreciation of what you do have takes its place.Don't fight the thoughts.' Invite them in and talk to them.' Take control, and they will leave on their own. More >>

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I hear from (and about) a lot of women who say they're not interested in sex, and they are married to men who vowed fidelity, and so those men are now literally out in the cold.Many women can be quite cruel about their behavior:' telling their husbands to "just deal with it" or challenge them into getting a "girlfriend."' These same women may throw a fit if their husband pleasures himself while watching Internet pornography consisting of a man and a woman engaged in passionate sex.Sheesh!' They can't have it both ways, unless women expect their men to bust their buns taking care of children and a wife without the normal, expected "reward" of love and passion.Some women have medical issues which cut down on their feeling sexy, but not many medical issues truly inhibit women from pleasing their husbands, and then discovering themselves getting "turned on" in the process.Most of the time, too many wives just get lazy and self-centered about taking care of their romantic and sexual lives because of kids' schedules, friends and relatives, and "busy busy" stuff that just consumes every ounce of their energy.' Let's be honest - that's an excuse and not a real reason.' You can pace yourself and make choices.' Many women don't bother, and feel that the sexual needs of their husbands are burdens to them and not a compliment or offer of ecstasy.Interestingly, many of these women are the ones who call me, complaining that their husbands don't do much for them on Valentine's Day, or birthdays and anniversaries.' Are you kidding?' What is he to celebrate?' Marriage and family have turned him into an asexual monk!Women's sexuality requires "priming," while guys are just about always "ready to roll."' A lot of that priming has to happen in her head:' thinking affectionately about sensual things, bathing, primping and flirting - the kinds of things wives tend to leave at the altar or in the birthing room.I have come to feel sorry for husbands in general in America today.' The feminist mentality that has labeled any male needs as "oppression" has certainly poisoned a lot of minds out there.If you think you're one of those, or if you need your attitude jump-started, read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands .' It's helped a lot of women get happier. More >>

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I have railed since day one when clinicians started calling bad choices and bad habits "diseases."The good news about calling alcohol and drug abuses "diseases" is that clinicians and others can reap financial rewards by charging insurance for their "medical" intervention.The bad news about calling substance abuse a "disease" is that the individual is robbed of his real ability to exercise choice and self-control , and such labeling puts the onus on society to give that individual a "pass" on taking responsibility for the consequences of the addiction.There is considerable proof that addiction is a choice:' the book "Addiction: A Disorder of Choice," by Gene M. Heyman, Harvard University Press, demonstrates many of them.'For example:' in 1970, it was determined that between 10% and 25% of enlisted Army men were addicted to high-grade Vietnamese heroin and opium.' When they were told they couldn't come home without being drug-free, the vast majority stopped using narcotics as the word of the new directive spread.' The vast minority who were detained for detoxification programs were clean when given a second chance.' Only 12% of soldiers who were dependent on opiate narcotics in Vietnam became re-addicted at some point in the next three years.The point is that calling alcohol or drug abuse a "disease" takes away from the individual the respect for his or her ability to choose.' Every behavior we have is somehow tied to genetics and the brain.' That doesn't make it a disease unless the individual has no choice .' Alzheimer 's disease gives you no choice.' Multiple sclerosis gives you no choice.' Alcohol abuse is a choice.Addicts are drawn to drug abuse to salve depression, anxiety, boredom, and self-loathing.' At the start of their addiction, they feel great, short-term, and they start giving up the joy in work, hobbies, family and friends.' After a while, they need the drug to salve psychic pain (which is now increasing with the collapse of other factors in their lives), suppress withdrawal symptoms, and eliminate the craving.' At some point, when these benefits come to be outweighed by the adverse fallout the balance shifts, and the addict chooses recovery.The concept of disease includes the obliteration of choice-making ability .' Fortunately, addicts can make a choice, and congratulations are in order to those who do! More >>

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