Recently, on a Friday afternoon, I had an experience which challenged my fears and comfort level.' I went out sailing in 20-30 knots of wind, with 6 - 8 foot swells, in a very, very narrow boat only 41 feet long.' I have five experienced crew with me.' And I was nervous.Believe you me, it is an intimidating experience when a little sailboat is planing at over 20 knots with gusts and crazy waves.' You don't have a lot of opportunity to think things through or to hesitate - a five degree wrong move and....WIPEOUT!' In the cold water and sloppy big waves, that could mean "man overboard" with the boat temporarily out of control. ( Watch the experience .)I am learning to skipper a boat under these conditions, where you have to run on "feel" and not so much on thinking things through.' I have lots to learn and practice, but whoo hoo!' What a ride!In doing this, I faced rational fear and was out of my comfort zone.' It took 48 hours for me to come down from that exhilaration.' It changes you.' I feel proud of myself; I know I'm getting better and better.' Facing fears and limitations, while scary, leads to such acceleration in joy of life and a growing self-confidence, that it is more than worth the scary moments.As I keep nagging at you folks, things are scary until they become familiar .' Practice and forcing yourself to face the experience time and again gives you familiarity which gives you confidence, and a natural, free, and legal "high." More >>

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I am very happy to tell you about my hero, Anthony Orsini, the principal at Benjamin Franklin Middle School in Ridgewood, New Jersey.' He recently sent the following email to all parents of children attending his school: Dear BF Community:When I arrived in Ridgewood, Facebook did not exist, YouTube did not exist, and MySpace was barely in existence.' Formspring (one of the newest Internet scourges, a site meant simply to post cruel things about people anonymously) wasn't even in someone's mind. In 2010, social networking sites have now become commonplace, and technology use by students is beyond prevalent. It is time for every single member of the BF community to take a stand! There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! Let me repeat that - there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site!' None. 5 of the last 8 parents who we have informed that their child was posting inappropriate things on Facebook said their child did not have an account.' Every single one of the students had an account. 3 students yesterday told a guidance counselor that their parents told them to close their accounts when the parents learned they had an account.' All three students told their parents it was closed.' All three students still had an account after telling their parents it was closed. Most students are part of more than one social networking site. Please do the following:' sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any social networking site.' Today! Let them know that you will at some point every week be checking their text messages online!'' You have the ability to do this through your cell phone provider. Let them know that you will be installing Parental Control software so you can tell every place they have visited online, and everything they have instant messaged or written to a friend.' Don't install it behind their back, but install it! Over 90% of homework does not require the Internet, or even a computer.' Do not allow them to have a computer in their room.' There is no need. Know that they can text others even if their phone doesn't have texting capability, either through the computer or through their iPod Touch. Have a central "docking system," preferably in your bedroom, where all electronics in the home get charged each night, especially anything with a cell or with wi-fi capability (remember when you were in high school and you would sneak the phone into your bedroom at Midnight to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend all night - now imagine what they can do with the technology in their rooms). If your son or daughter is attacked through one of these sites or through texting, immediately go to the police!' Insist that they investigate every situation.' Also, contact the site and report the attack to the site - they have an obligation to suspend accounts, or they are liable for what is written. We as a school can offer guidance and try to build up any student who has been injured by the social networking scourge, but please insist the authorities get involved. For online gaming, do not allow them to have the interactive communication devices.' If they want to play Call of Duty online with someone from Seattle, fine.' They don't need to talk to the person. The threat to your son or daughter from online adult predators is insignificant compared to the damage that children at this age constantly and repeatedly do to one another through social networking sites or through text and picture messaging. It is not hyperbole for me to write that the pain caused by social networking sites is beyond significant.' It is psychologically detrimental and we will find out it will have significant long-term effects, as well as all the horrible social effects it already creates. I will be more than happy to take the blame off you as a parent if it is too difficult to have the students close their accounts, but it is time they all get closed and the texts always get checked. I want to be clear - this email is not anti-technology, and we will continue to teach responsible technology practices to students.' They are simply not psychologically ready for the damage that one mean person online can cause, and I don't want any of our students to go through the unnecessary pain that too many of them have already experienced. Some people advocate that the parents and the school should teach responsible social networking to students because these sites are part of the world in which we live. I disagree.' It is not worth the risk to your child to allow them the independence at this age to manage these sites on their own, not because they are not good kids or responsible, but because you cannot control the poor actions of anonymous others. Learn as a family about cyber safety together at www.wiredsafety.org for your own knowledge.' It is a great site.' But then do everything I asked in this email - because there really is no reason a child needs to have one of these accounts. Please take action in your own home today. Sincerely, Anthony OrsiniPrincipal, BFMS Now Principal Orsini is MY kind of principal, and my kind of leader in the community.' This should go nationwide.'The sites have become a tool for children to do psychological harm to each other; it has become a menace to children.' Much of what guidance counselors have to deal with these days regards social networking issues.' It is time for you parents to ACT. More >>

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It appears that McDonald's "Happy Meal" toys and other promotions that come with high-calorie children's meals will soon be banned in parts of California, unless the restaurants in question meet certain nutritional guidelines.In favor of such a ban are public health administrators, parents, and physicians.Opposed to such a ban are fast-food franchisees, other parents, and fans of fast-food toys, who say the promotions are often used to provide Christmas presents for poor children.Physicians point out that the toys are a powerful lure for children, encouraging them to eat unhealthy food, which then helps cause obesity.' Many parents buy the unhealthy food for their children specifically because toys come with the meal!Here's my take on this problem: again, parents are not parenting . More >>

Last week, I attended an event in the beautiful city of Huntington Beach, California.' It was the second annual "Battle Shark Challenge" hosted by the United States Army.' The Army invited new enlistees from southern California to come to the beach to compete in small groups in such activities as:' push ups, sit ups, tug of war, football, Frisbee, rock wall climbing, a 2 mile run, throwing grenades (fake ones, of course) and carrying a "wounded" soldier through a mine field (blindfolded).I participated in everything except Frisbee and football.' My team of 6 won the push up and sit up contests, and we also won the activity where you had to carry a "wounded" soldier through a mine field.' Everyone was blindfolded except the leader who had to give instructions.' The first time I played the wounded soldier; the second time I was the leader and we beat the previous best time by over a minute.' We lost the tug of war, and I wasn't able to throw my grenade further than the closest-in target.' I did the run, however, in less time than that required to qualify for enlisting in the Army, but they still wouldn't take me!It was an amazing experience to meet about 1500 young men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line for you and me.' I was impressed by their spirit, tenacity, good humor, self-respect, hard work, and commitment.' These are certainly NOT the types of kids who spend their days on Facebook or Twitter.' You have to be awed by how unique and special they are.Families came out to show their support, although it was very sad to me when one young woman came up to ask me how to handle her parents, who won't talk to her since she enlisted.' They didn't show up for this event either.' Shame on them and shame for them.' They missed an opportunity to see their child elevated in her own spirit and in our eyes.' I told her that I'd be her surrogate mother, and that she now owed me a Mother's Day card.' We hugged a lot.Frankly, I just wanted to hug them all.' I AM the proud mother of an American combat infantryman...very proud.' I am saddened for any parent who chooses to shun their child because they've made the selfless choice to defend all Americans.That's why we have to support them all.' Whenever you see anybody in uniform, shake their hands, buy them lunch, and/or tell them you're grateful.' It DOES mean a lot to them. More >>

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The biggest loser, in my mind, is Jillian Michaels.' Why?' Because she is so immersed in the superficiality of LOOKING fabulous that she says in Women's Health magazine that she doesn't want to become a biological mother, because "I can't handle doing that to my body." Yikes!' She can't handle real life?' What happens as she ages, and the skin is no longer taut over her muscles?' What happens when her metabolism changes with age?' Where will her self esteem be then?I'm aggravated that an individual who purports to teach people about body image and self esteem would be so negative about the challenge of getting back in shape after childbearing.' I've done it.' Millions of women have done it. This is lousy role modeling.' She shouldn't be coaching others when she is so profoundly fearful of the challenge to her body with motherhood.Furthermore, she says she's going to adopt.' Really?' What happens when that kid's body isn't perfect?' How is she going to actually mother with her schedule of television shows, DVD shoots, plans for "Losing It With Jillian," and her own television talk show....AND keeping her body perfect?We all put our priorities in different places.' Hers is superficial.' I am shocked that this doesn't topple her media house.' In fact, I think this would be a career killer for someone who is supposed to be an inspiration , primarily to women.' Go figure. More >>

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How can your life be better in an instant?Believe it or not, I have the answer to that question.Think about something lousy you're experiencing today.' Frown.Now, think about something wonderful you're experiencing today.' Smile!At any one moment, you get to choose how you're going to react.Here's something to try:Get together with a friend today, and talk ONLY about things that elevate both your souls and your spirits.' No whining about your lives, no talking smack about other people, no complaining about relatives or politics.' Just say the things that elevate both of you and your collective sense of well-being.And guess what?' Your life becomes better instantaneously. More >>