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I got this email from a listener after she heard a call I took on my radio program.' She titled the email 'To The Mother Whose Son Is Smoking Marijuana.' It speaks for itself: Today you gave advice to a mother who found out her 16 ' year old son is smoking marijuana.' You advised her to get him into a residential treatment program.'' You stated that drug addicts lie, and she responded that she didn't 'see' him as a drug addict.' I am afraid she will not take your advice, and she may be in my situation in the future. Today, I write this with a broken heart.' 11 years ago, when my son was 17, I, too, found out that he was smoking marijuana.' He was on the academic honor roll and participated in sports ' he wasn't a drug addict!' I tried to get him into a residential program, but was told they would not accept him at his age unless he committed himself.' I took him to a counselor that the high school recommended and had him assigned a probation officer until he was 18.' I thought just like her that he was not a drug addict in my mind.' He grew up to be a responsible young man who owned his own business, but he continued to smoke marijuana. Six months ago, I received that phone call that no parent wants to receive.' My son was dead at the age of 28 from an accidental drug overdose (oxycodone), which the coroner told me is the most abused drug today.' I do not know if this was the first time or the hundredth time he used the drug, but I vowed that if I can save one child or one parent from experiencing what I am going through that I would share my story. Dr. Laura, you were correct.' She needs to deal with the issue NOW, while she still has some control.' My son was not a 'drug addict' either.' The coroner called it 'recreational drug use.'' Children need to know that tennis, hockey, and soccer are recreations, not drugs.' I hope that mother heeds your advice so that her son does not end up where mine is today, guilt-ridden and questioning 'should I have done more?' More >>

Busy, busy mothers tuned in to their cellphones, BlackBerrys, iPods, iPhones, and chatty girlfriends, just don't have the time to tune in to their children ' that's just reality!' And you can't expect nannies (equipped with the same electronics) or day care workers with scads of kids to supervise or babysitters with other things to do to spend time tuning into your children either.' That's just reality.Why is this an issue?' Well, children just don't develop their language, communication skills, sensitivity to eye contact and facial expressions without input, stimulation and attention.' This fact will surely dismay parents and liberal educators who say kids just need a few minutes of quality time a day, and they'll be just fine.According to Randi Jacoby, a speech and language specialist in New York, who was quoted in the New York Times:' 'Parents have stopped having good communications with their young children, causing them to lose out on the eye contact, facial expression and overall feedback that is essential for early communication development.' That means that, instead of you parents going off to work when you have babies or small children, and then handing them over to institutionalized care or the care of someone hired to watch them all day and report back to you about 'food in and waste out,' you need to be home with your children, doing things like: Recognizing that communication begins as soon as the baby is born.' The way you touch, hold, look at and talk to your baby helps him or her learn language.' Even though your child doesn't necessarily understand what you're saying, your calm, reassuring voice is what he or she needs to feel safe.' You cannot spoil babies with attention and responsiveness to their cries. Talking all the time while you are doing things.' Talk about where you are going, what you will do when you get there, and who/what you'll see.' Talk about cleaning up the dishes, preparing meals, putting on makeup ' everything ' all of this is attention. Putting down the cellphone or other electronic device to look your child in the eyes as he or she tries to communicate or when you are engaging him.' Responding to a child's communicative attempts with complete attention is a sign of interest and love, and it teaches communication.' It might even help you with your spouse! Engaging your child in conversation, once he or she starts talking.' Expand what they are saying to help them learn to do the same.' For example, when your child says 'Doggie,' respond with 'Yes, that is a big black dog.'' Ask questions, play games, sing songs, recite nursery rhymes, and read books. Parenting is not about making sure your child lives through the day.' It's about an'investment of time, and loving energy to help them develop the skills they will need to function well in life.' Nannies, day care workers and babysitters just don't fill the bill.' Nobody trumps a loving mom and dad. More >>

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The Hartford Courant recently published an essay by Justin Verrier on a Connecticut female teenage swimmer. "After swimming laps at a recent practice in the Glastonbury High School pool, Rachel Grusse told her coach, Suzi Hoyt, her shoulder felt sore.' Hoyt responded as she always does to such concerns by her swimmers, instructing Grusse to put on flippers and 'kick for a little while' to rest her arms.' 'I just looked up at her and told her, Um...I don't think I can do that, Grusse said, smiling." Remember the word smiling .' When Grusse was 16 months old, it was discovered that she was born without a spleen, and she contracted a form of bacterial pneumonia that cut off the blood flow to her extremities, which resulted in the cutting off of her legs at the base of her knees, as well as the last joint of her fingers.Now, many teenage girls with just a few pimples would hide in their bedrooms, but not Rachel.' With the help of prosthetic legs, she has participated in all types of sports, including soccer and, most recently, wheelchair basketball, but swimming is her passion.' Since she has to rely on her upper body for swimming, she does a lot of upper body strengthening, like...walking on her hands!Her comment? "I've just heard some people say that I'm an example to other kids.' But to me, I don't feel like I'm any different. I'm just doing what I can, and doing the best that I can. " She swims against "normal" swimmers and rarely wins, but she loves the sport anyway.She swims against others who are disabled and often places, but not always, and she loves the sport anyway.'Since she has no memory of having had legs, for her, it is kind of "normal" - the real amazing quality of hers is her attitude to just do what she can and do the best that she can .Disabled or not, that is the winning attitude in life that ultimately brings you happiness.' She does what she loves and does the best she can at it.' Period.' There is a lesson in that for everyone. More >>

"Stupid is as stupid does." Those are sage words from the fictional Forrest Gump.And stupid does some interesting things in America.' Here are two great recent examples of stupidity:Before I tell you the first story, I want to preface it with a memory from my middle school years.' We Long Island neighborhood children took the bus to school.' I walked two blocks to the bus stop.' In the winter, it was freezing, but fortunately, one of the kids I went to school with lived in that corner house right where the bus picked us up.' The mom would leave the garage door open (the cars were already gone) so we could all huddle out of the wind and chill until the bus came.' It was very kind of her.Now, to today's story:' A mom in Michigan allows the kids from three families to hang out before school at her house for about 1 hour before the school bus comes.' She's not getting paid, although I sure hope she's getting appreciation from the families who have to go to work before they can get their kids off to school.'Believe it or not, she receives a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continues, she'd be violating a law aimed at the operation of unlicensed day-care centers.' She's not getting paid!!' And she's doing the neighbors a favor!!This law says no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers.' The Department of Human Services warned her without even finding out the facts.' This is stupid.' Never mind that these kids, if left by themselves for an hour without adult supervision could be food for predators.' It seems also that this stupid stretch would preclude regular baby-sitting when parents go out to dinner and the movies.There is good news here, though.' After the news media got hold of this story (and embarrassed the heck out of the state of Michigan), Governor Jennifer Granholm instructed the agency's director to work with the state legislature to change the law.'Since when is simply being a good neighbor a criminal activity?' Some neighbor (and we've all had this kind of neighbor) made a complaint, and started this non-common sense ball rolling.The second stupid story is from Saratoga Springs.' Adam Marino, a 12 year old in seventh grade, and his mother are defying Saratoga Springs school policy by biking to Maple Avenue Middle School.' The school has a rule that kids can't walk or ride a bike to school.' Adam's mom and other parents want their kids to be less sedentary and to get exercise by walking or riding to school as a fitness activity.'After Adam's mom thought she had an understanding with the school board on this issue, she rode a bike with her kid to school, only to be met by a state trooper and school administrators.' You'd think she had been beating her kid or helping him play hooky.' Sheesh!In reaction to this, other parents joined them in riding and walking their kids to school.' Once again, this got the attention of the news media, and the Board of Education is going to vote to amend this policy this week.These arbitrary rules are just stupid, and frankly, ignoring the bigger picture of neighborhood safety and exercise for children.' Fortunately, however, thanks to the media spotlight, it's all going to change. More >>

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When I was on a working trip to New York City, some of my staff and I popped into a very lovely open-air sort of restaurant for lunch.' The menu was huge in size (I always wonder how they have all that food on hand), and I noticed something I had never, ever seen before: calorie counts between the description of the food and the price!I read each and every calorie count and was shocked at how unbelievably caloric many of the foods were that I had thought were healthy.' An appetizer of fried calamari had more calories than one should have in a whole day!' Even the veggie meals were stuffed with extra calories from oil, cheese and sauces.' Oh my!Talk about being "scared straight," like those kids in front of convicts who warn them to clean up their acts.' I immediately selected the healthiest thing I could find (boring, but healthy), ending up with a turkey sandwich on rye with lettuce and tomato - no mayo and no dressing, but with some salt, because I normally have low blood pressure.' I give callers high blood pressure, but mine is usually low.'New York City was the first place in the country, I believe, to require calorie posting.' What have we learned from this experiment?Researchers at New York University and Yale discovered that, although 9 out of 10 people who saw the calorie counts claimed they "made healthier choices as a result," when the researchers checked the receipts afterward, they found that people, had, in fact, ordered slightly more calories than the typical customer had before the labeling law went into effect in July, 2008.The lead research scientist said, "I think it does show us that labels are not enough." What?' What else do you want to do?' Send in the calorie police?' On cityfile.com, someone made a suggestion that restaurants could have scales for people to weigh themselves before sitting down to dinner (ohhhh, what' rude reminder!) or they should post pictures of what you're going to look like if you have that lasagna in addition to' bread, butter or olive oil, a big salad with a cup of dressing and then cheesecake to wrap it up!So, if calorie postings have no impact, except for the people who already are careful and appropriate in their healthy food choices, then what is the point of continuing them?' I still think it's a good idea to continue.' Perhaps with patience, we will see people care about their bodies and their health as much as their family, friends and relatives do, and as much as the taxpayers who are not overweight and are forced to be burdened by the rising health costs brought on by illnesses associated with obesity. More >>