A Celebration of Family By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller www.chickmoorman.com International Parenting Commitment Day, March 20th is fast approaching. What do you have planned to celebrate this special day? Are you ready to commit or recommit to the sacred and important role of parenting so you can uplift, encourage, and inspire your children to become responsible, caring, confident people? Please consider joining with millions of parents around the world who are making a commitment to parent with purpose. To celebrate International Parenting Commitment Day with your family consider implementing one of the following celebrations/rituals. Commitment Celebrations Pledge Night Convene a family meeting. Propose that the family design a pledge that reflects your belief that feelings of oneness and a sense of belonging are important in your family. Include the importance of placing family first, honoring each other's uniqueness, and the security of family structure somewhere in your pledge.Allow all family members to have input by inviting suggestions and reaching a mutual consensus on the pledge. Display your pledge prominently in your home. Principles of Work Create a poster to display at you work site. Include beliefs you have about how you want to "BE" during your work time. Include items such as treat others with respect, listen to other's ideas, encourage others, and keep confidences private. Put at least 10 items on your Principles of Work. At the top add, SUCCEED AT HOME FIRST. Share your work principles with your family. Goal Setting Evening After your children are in bed for the evening, set some family goals with you spouse. Pick two or three to focus on for the upcoming year. With each goal you choose, list activities you can do that will help you move in the direction of accomplishing it. Example: Goal: Use self-responsible language with our children. Activities: Eliminate the words "Makes me" from our language patterns. Change "You make me mad," to "I am feeling angry about this." Use the words "choose/decide/pick" over and over with our children. We will say, "I see you chose to help your brother," and "If you choose to throw the toy you will be choosing to give it a rest on the shelf for awhile." We will stop "shoulding" on our children. We intend to replace our "shoulds" with "coulds." Balloon Release Buy two helium filled balloons. Write several parenting concerns on file cards that have troubled you recently. Also fill file cards with parenting stressors, situations that you create stress around with your children (loud radios, poor table manners, etc). Attach the cards to the balloon strings. Go outside, say a prayer asking God to take your stress and concerns and handle it in a way that achieves the greatest good for all concerned. Communicate your desire to be free of stress. Take a few deep breaths. Release the balloon, you concerns, and your stress into the air. Watch as the balloons carry your problems away. Feel lighter after having let go of all that stress. Warm-Fuzzy Clothesline A warm-fuzzy is a compliment (written or verbal) that is given to another person. Why not begin a warm-fuzzy clothesline in you home? Have each family member decorate clothes pins in their own image and write their names on them. Hang them on a clothesline that you place in a prominent spot in your home (kitchen or den wall). Use the clothespins as mini-mailboxes to share notes of encouragement, affirmation and praise with one another. Model this technique by sending at least one a day yourself. Use this special day, March 20, to re-connect with your children by celebrating your mutual caring using one of the rituals above. When you do you will be demonstrating the importance you place on the sacred role of parenting. Enjoy. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

College Planning Starts Early Sonja Montiel www.collegeconfidence.com No more than a few years ago, college planning started in 12th grade where it was the first time students learned about the SAT tests and build their list of colleges. Times have change with many students currently beginning their planning as early as 9th grade. While some may argue that beginning the college process this early is ridiculous, the truth is that it's quite necessary. Keep in mind that asking young students in 9th grade what colleges they are applying to does not define good college preparation; however, asking them if they would like to keep the educational doors open after high school is a conversation that must happen early on. Before reviewing the aspects of good college advising, let's look at three major influences that have impacted the way we plan for college. Competitive Labor Market: According to the Current Population Survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau in 2003, 77% of students who receive a high school diploma will enter the labor force compared to 85% who receive a bachelor's degree and 91% who receive a doctorate's degree. The same survey also revealed that the average earnings in 2002 increased with each education level with high school diploma workers earning an average of $27,280 annually, compared to the average annual income of $51,194 earned for the bachelor's degree holder (Stoops, 2004). The pressure and expectation of students attending college is no longer a "dream" or family quest, but more a requirement in order to obtain a career that gives a decent paycheck. Population and Demand: With competition increasing due to the sheer numbers of high achieving students, students and parents applying to college are feeling the pressure to prepare early. The panic of becoming the "top student" or "winning the race" has evolved into an obsession that leads students and their parents to push the college planning envelope as early as possible. The good old American "competitive spirit" is out there, and although often having negative effects on student performance (if this competitive spirit is not nurtured appropriately), the desire to become number one demands early college planning. It also ensures successful results in getting students in the college of their choice. Increase Colleges Choices: With over 3,000 colleges and universities in the United States and the bridging of a more global world, the encouragement of students to attend a college or university out of state has increased as well as the encouragement for students to consider applying to more colleges. At the same time, these colleges and universities have become aggressive in their recruitment and marketing techniques introducing more attractive opportunities that a student has to choose from. As a result, students must begin researching what colleges seem the "best fit" for them deciphering the difference between persuasive marketing messages. Just a reminder that finding the "best fit" does not mean finding out about the likelihood of being admitted. Instead, finding the "best fit" college means to conduct campus visits, research their personalities and atmosphere, and asked themselves "where do I really fit best?" All this requires more time for investigation and planning outside regular high school counseling hours. It's evident that the college going culture is growing by the minute, and in order for students to end up happy and successful (in that order), the college conversation needs to start early. Be aware, however, there is a damaging assumption that in order to help students prepare for college, we must use tactics that instill (intentional or unintentional) anxiety, fear, and uncertainty to the process such as national rankings and statistical GPA and SAT averages. On the contrary, students who are most successful in the college process are those who can reflect on their own needs and interests, and more importantly act on those needs and interests, as well as establish good study habits and time management skills. Also, keep in mind college admissions review student's academic and extracurricular activities for the entire 4 years; not only 11-12th grades. Many students who do not have a sense of what colleges expect of them risk the surprise of not meeting specific requirements or not having enough time to build on their interests in time. In order for students to reflect on what makes them tick, we must challenge our students to find their voice early in life, introduce the ideas of what a college education means in terms of opportunity, and prepare them to be advocates for themselves as they decide which high school courses to take and which activities to be involved in. This is the process of finding their voices, and it is their voices that will drive the college process as we as educators, counselors, and parents become their cheerleaders. Sonja Montiel, M.A., is founder of College Confidence, a Westlake Village-based college counseling firm. Montiel serves on the executive board of the Western Association of College Admissions Counseling, is active with the National Association of College Admission Counseling and serves on the planning committee for Ventura County's National College Fair. She is also a member of the Higher Educational Consultants Association. For information visit www.collegeconfidence.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Potty Training 101 - Emotional Well Being I am not a fan of potty training children early. In the ten years I have been helping parents with potty training, I have never known even one who was completely trained when starting before the age of three. That doesn't mean that there are not success stories out there; however, completely potty trained means that they can go to bed in a regular pair of cloth underwear (not thick with extra padding) and wake up dry eight hours later. Those parents that say that their kids are trained before the age of two usually regress sometimes before the age of five. Spanking, yelling and threatening always backfires. If a parent pulls a power play, the child will become absorbed in the unnecessary battle and become overwhelmed. Stress rises to a new, yet negative level. Unfortunately, for parents, the kids win on this one. They can potty (go to the bathroom) in the potty or potty in the underwear as a powerful tool resulting in negative retaliation creating major challenges in switching back and forth from potty training, poor eating habits and mood swings. Using food as a reward is not a way to entice toddlers into becoming potty trained. In fact, this can lead to harmful eating habits as well as using food for emotional satisfaction. Here are a few tips that have seemed to work for others in keeping the process running smoothly as well as maintain emotional well being intact for everyone. Concentrate on potty training only. Don't make it hard on kids but you will have to watch them almost every minute. Do not go anywhere with them for two weeks unless you can take the potty with you. Use stickers as a reward. Let them pick out the stickers at a store. Wrap up small gifts found as rewards after each time they successfully go to the bathroom. Children love to open presents. Put them inside a big box and let them choose the one they want to open. Rewrap them. That's right. Use them repeatedly. After they begin to get potty trained, tell and show them there are only six presents left and then, "they'll be all gone." Each time you let them open one, say, "Look, there's only 5 more left, but we have stickers," -- or whatever else you would like to use -- other than food. Do not use food as a reward. Sweets, candy, or any type of food is not good for a positive reward system at this age. It will only leave them anticipating food as rewards for other accomplishments and could lead to eating disorders later in life. After each successful potty trip, clap and say, "Whoohoo. You are such a big boy/girl! Good job!" Go call someone and share the news. Let the child tell them what a good job that they did. This only reinforces positive experiences for potty training. Make up a calendar with tons of pictures of your child on it. Make the days of the week large squares to have plenty of room for the stickers. Let your child put up a big star each time he/she goes to the potty on that specific day. Put Cheerios in the toilet and let the boys aim at them. Since they are a little more difficult to potty train, there are other incentives on today's market to attract little boys to the potty. Check at your favorite store for such tools. Buy many books during clearance sales. Keep a box of books by the potty. If possible, read a page or two or share a picture book. Read one or two books, if your little one needs to go number two. Monitor food and liquid intake. Take your child to the potty on a schedule. You will have to watch the clock to monitor food and drink intake. Cut out liquids two hours before bedtime and no caffeine -- ever. Ship your precious little one off to grandmas or an aunt's house, if things get too hairy. Sometimes, other folks can potty train our children better than we can. If you have a relative who is willing to help and your kiddo will not "walk the plank" for you, let someone else try. You might be surprised how quickly the job will be completed. Above all else, let the child show and tell you when he is ready. It may not be the calendar timing you'd like to follow, but the frustration and stress is just not worth the repercussions. Remember, accidents will occur at the least expected time. Stay cool and anticipate it as part of parenthood...this too shall pass. copy; 2006 Jodie Lynn Jodie Lynn is an award-winning internationally syndicated family/healthcolumnist and radio personality. Her syndicated column Parent to Parent ( parenttoparent.com ) has been successful for over 10 years and appears in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and throughout the Internet. She is a regular contributor to several sites including eDiets.com, MommiesMagazine.com, ClubMom.com and is the Resident Mom Expert and Spokesperson for BabyUniverse.com. Lynn has written two books and contributed to two others, one of which was on Oprah and has appeared on NBC in a three month parenting segment. Her latest best-selling parenting/family book is Mommy-CEO, revised edition . Permission granted to use on Dr.Laura.com. More >>

How to Find The Home Business Of Your Dreams By Liz Folger, Work-at-Home Mom Expert I talk to mothers on a daily basis who all say the same thing. "I'd love to work from home, but I haven't a clue what type of business I want to start." And I'll admit it, that's pretty much how I felt many years ago. The only thing I did know was that I wanted the chance to raise my kids myself and start some sort of business from home. The Key, Find a Business You're Going to Love Running Every person reading this was born with a special gift that could be used to start a home business. Once you discover that gift, you will be able to find the best business for your personality. So when you wake up in the morning you'll say to yourself, "Yeah, I get to work today." You'll feel like that is what you were born to do. It's a part of you -- it's what makes you tick. Now lets figure out the best home-based biz for you. What are your interests? What types of things do you enjoy doing. Yes, you can love your job!! Everyone is born with a special talents that sets them apart from others. Your job is to figure out what that talent is and find out a way to turn it into a business. One lady I profiled in my book, "The Stay-at-Home Mom's Guide To Making Money", had always loved horses. When she was younger she didn't have a horse of her own. So she would groom and feed other people's just for the chance to ride. Now that she is an adult she has turned that interest into a pet sitting business. She has niched herself in the area of horse care. What are your hobbies? Is your hobby candle making, painting portraits, herb gardening...? These are all great home businesses just waiting to happen. And you don't necessarily have to produce these items to make money. Maybe you could start a newsletter on the subject of your hobby for others just like you. Or maybe you could start to sell supplies for other hobbyists or businesses. Maybe you could write a book on the subject. Once you start brainstorming, you'll be surprised at all the ideas you will come up with. You're producing a service or product for your friends and family for free already. I talk with moms all the time who say their family or friends are always coming to them because they are great at creating a resume or they can really put a nice bouquet of flowers together for special events (floral designer). These are all great ideas for a home business. Go with what you already know a lot about. Maybe you enjoyed your work outside the home but still want to be home with your kids. Use your previous skills to get your business started. Teachers become tutors, secretaries become word processors, and graphic artists become -- graphic artists. The same can go for architects, photographers, and transcriptionists -- both legal and medical. SCAMS ONE WAY I do not recommend to find a home biz is to send "just $19.95 and I'll show you how you can make hundreds of dollars a week in the comfort of your home." These are all big time scams. Don't even mess with them. If any ad states easy money, no experience necessary, guaranteed success, lots of capitalization and exclamation marks, that is a scam! Or if you are talking with a sales person for a business opportunity and they force you to make a decision on the spot and it's almost like they are making you feel stupid if you say no, tell them to get lost and get out of that situation as fast as you can. The key to unlocking the mystery of what home business to start, is right inside of you. This search is not a quick one, however. Take the time to rediscover your interests and don't be afraid to start a business in the area you really enjoy. Liz Folger is the founder of http://www.bizymoms.com . Bizymoms.com is the leading online resource for work-from-home ideas. The site offers home-based business start-up kits, online classes, e-books, chats and enthusiastic support for moms who want to have it all - a family and a career. Visit http://www.bizymoms.com for more information. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

The Valentine Gift Every Child Wants By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman Valentines Day Is fast approaching. Love in the air. It's time to find that perfect gift that will express the way you feel about your loved ones. What about your children? What Valentines gift will you present to them this year? Will you demonstrate your love with the traditional box of their favorite candy or a colorful red rose? Or will you purchase a new video game? Perhaps a card with a hand written note will be the way you'll express your affection to them this year. Certainly love can be expressed with candy, flowers, notes or gifts. But is that what your child really wants or needs? Are those the things you want your child to associate with love? How about taking a different tact this year? This Valentines Day, why not spell love the same way your child does: T-I-M-E. Yes, we're suggesting you give your child the gift of time, your time. Make a commitment this Valentines Day to be the best parent you can be by being present in your child's life on a regular basis. Your presence or lack of presence is constantly sending your children messages about their importance and about your love. To make your love more than a consumable box of candy or a card that sits on the shelf, be active and interactive on a daily basis with your children. Shut down the computer, turn off the x-box, and walk away from the TV. Invest time with your children. Create the time to play catch, shoot baskets, throw water balloons, help with homework, attend the dance recital, play checkers, read bedtime stories, or help coach the soccer team. Listed below are several ways to be creative and adventuresome in the ways you invest time with your children. These suggestions are intended to help you send the message "I love you" to your children in different and memorable ways this Valentines Day. Jumbo board game. Remake your child's favorite board game in jumbo size and play it together. Candy Land or Shoots and Ladders are great fun around the house. Making it together and setting it up is half the pleasure. Dress-up day. Dress-up like pirates and go on a treasure hunt, or dress-up like Barbie and have a fashion show. Face painting. Paint each others faces with your favorite cartoon characters. Take pictures and display them on the refrigerator. Giant puzzle. With large boxes from a local appliance store together make a giant puzzle to construct in the backyard or basement. In-door camping. Move furniture and set up camp. Pitch a tent. Make a fake camp fire out of paper. Eat hotdogs and s'mores. Hold a family slumber party as you do outdoor activities only, in the living room. Clean mud. Rip toilet paper into small strips. Grate ivory soap. Mix together with water and you have clean mud. Play with it on the kitchen floor, or in a tub on the kitchen table. Great for building, designing and frolicking will occur. Shaving cream the table. Clear the kitchen table and spray it with shaving cream. You and your children will have a blast making shapes, writing letters and putting shaving cream on their face. Have a mirror handy, its fun to see yourself with a beard. Clean up is easy too, it all rinses away with water. Balsa wood creation. Make your own boat or doll or car out of a chunk of balsa wood. With a 1 x 2 x 4 piece of balsa wood, rough and smooth sand paper, some paint, and cloth you can make almost anything. No cutting is required and the local craft or hobby store will have everything you need. Slide show. Turn the kids loose with the digital camera with the direction of taking pictures of the family members over a set period of time. Together, create a power point slide show complete with silly sound effects. Play restaurant. Help your children make a menu with appetizers, entree choices, deserts and prices. Create a fancy restaurant setting and prepare for fine dining where your children play the role of waiter/waitress, and chef. Use any of these suggestions to help you turn Valentine's Day into a day your children will cherish and remember. Communicate your love, affection, and high regard to them in a language they understand. Tell your children that you love them with time. And do it throughout the year, time after time. Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Serving Sizes for Toddlers By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers Parents often wonder how much food should their little ones (1-2 years old) be eating. Recent media coverage suggests over the past 20 years, restaurants and food companies have been increasing their serving sizes. This trend is considered to be a contributing factor in the rise in obesity (among adults and children). We all know that children should eat less than adults. After all, they are smaller. The following are some serving size guidelines for a 1-2 year old that may help you out. Milk/Dairy: Servings: 16-20 ounces of milk per day. Whole milk, soy or rice milk are recommended. Other equivalents: 1/2 -3/4 ounce of cheese = 4 ounces of milk. 1/4 cup of yogurt = 2 ounces of milk. Fruits and veggies: Servings: 5 or more per day. Serving size: 1-2 tablespoons - Pureed, mashed, or cubed. Grains: Servings: 3-4 per day. Serving sizes: 1/2 slice of bread, 1/4 cup of cooked cereal, 1/4 cup of dry cereal. 1/4 cup of pasta, 2-3 saltine crackers, or 1/2 tortilla. Non-dairy Proteins (meat, fish, beans, eggs): Servings: 2 per day. Serving sizes: 1/2 egg, 2-3 tablespoons beans (i.e. black, pinto, edamame, etc...), 1 tablespoon peanut butter, or 1 ounce of fish, lean beef, pork or chicken. About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children and founders of Fresh Baby, creators or products such as homemade baby food kits, baby food cookbooks, baby food and breast milk storage trays, breastfeeding reminders, and child development diaries ( www.FreshBaby.com ). Visit them online at www.FreshBaby.com and subscribe to their Fresh Ideas newsletter to get monthly ideas, tips and activities for developing your family's healthy eating habits! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Well Balanced Moms Have More Fun Aurelia Williams Real Life Solutions Or should I say #147;Well Balanced Moms Are More Fun#148;? Let me ask you#133; When was the last time you had lunch with some girl friends, or went on a girl#146;s night out? When was the last time you went on a romantic weekend getaway with your spouse? If you can#146;t remember, we definitely have to talk. It#146;s so easy to fall into the mommy guilt trap. We feel guilty if we take time for ourselves, so we end up taking care of everyone in the family but us. It#146;s easy to lose ourselves in the quest to become Super Mom. Along the way we get stressed out and aggravated. It#146;s important to do something just for us to stay balanced moms. Here are some ways for you to get started on your journey to rediscover YOU. Get together with some girlfriends. One of the best ways to rediscover yourself is to spend some time with your girlfriends each week. Have lunch together, go to the movies to watch the latest chick flick, or plan a girl#146;s night out every once in a while. If you are having a bad day, call one of your girlfriends to vent, or just chat. You#146;ll be surprised how much better you feel and how it puts things back in perspective that seemed like the end of the world a few minutes ago. Spend a romantic weekend with your spouse #150; anywhere but at home. Go away for a romantic weekend with your spouse a few times a year. Rekindle your passion for each other and feel in love again, instead just partners in dealing with the everyday #147;stuff#146; involved in raising kids. Go on a date every week. Get a sitter once a week and go on a date with your significant other. Spend some time reconnecting with each other. If you have an activity that you both enjoy, take a class together. Pamper Yourself. Do something every week to pamper yourself. Go get a new haircut. Visit your favorite nail saloon for a manicure, pedicure or to get your nails done. Call your favorite day spa and schedule a facial. Get a massage. If you are on a budget, pamper yourself at home. Send Dad and the kids to the park. Take a hot bubble bath and paint you toenails. Honey makes a quick facial. Place a cloth in warm water and apply to your face to open the pores. Smear on honey, and leave on for 15 to 30 minutes. Rinse off with warm water. Don#146;t feel guilty about taking time for yourself a few times a week. Your kids will appreciate it when they get a balanced and fun mom in return. You will be more relaxed, happier and actually be able to enjoy your family. After all, that#146;s why you had kids in the first place, didn#146;t you? Aurelia Williams is the owner of Real Life Solutions ( www.reallifesolutions.net/personal/motivational.html ) a Family Resource site that helps you lead an emotionally physically healthier, more productive and less stressful life. Free to reprint as long as bio remains intact. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Teach Your Kids to Cook By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers Years ago, it was a family tradition to pass down the secrets to treasured recipes and spend hours in the kitchen teaching children to cook. Somewhere between the addiction to video games and the overactive schedules of parents and children, cooking lessons have been neglected. While there are many reasons for teaching kids to cook -- less expensive than eating out, preserves family heritage, etc, the most important reason is that by teaching your child to cook, you're giving him a better chance to be a healthy grown-up. Enabling your child with the ability to appreciate freshness and to transform ingredients into tasty foods opens their eyes to making wiser choices about what to eat. Cooking is perfect for children. They enjoy assembling, measuring and chopping tasks. It offers them an opportunity to be proud of their accomplishments and to share them with others. Cooking has activities for all ages. Here are some age appropriate activities that can you get your started: Activities for children 3-6 years old: Washing fruits and veggies Cleaning the tables and counters Rolling things up on a baking sheet Making shapes with cookie cutters Activities for children 6-10 years old: Reading recipes Writing the shopping list when told the ingredients Using measuring cups for dry and liquid ingredients Stirring ingredients in a bowl Using a dull knife to spread Prepping fruits and veggies without a knife (i.e. snapping beans, husking corn, etc.) Activities for 10-13 year olds: Following steps and preparing simple recipes with little adult intervention Using a microwave, oven and stove. Using a hand grater Using a knife with supervision Operating a hand electric mixer Activities for teens: Planning a balanced meal, party menu or special event Reading a recipe and creating a shopping list Operating a food processor and blender Making multiple ingredient recipes without supervision When you begin to teach your child to cook it is important to teach appropriate kitchen safety and cleanliness practices. Introduce new safety and cleanliness concepts as your child progresses in his or her skill level. You can never review the basics of safety and cleanliness enough. And most of all have fun! About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children and founders of Fresh Baby, creators or products such as homemade baby food kits, baby food cookbooks, baby food and breast milk storage trays, breastfeeding reminders, and child development diaries ( www.FreshBaby.com ). Raised by parents who love fresh foods and entertaining, their mom, a gourmet cook, ensured that they were well-equipped with extraordinary skills in the kitchen. Both with long track records of business success, they decided to combine their skills in the kitchen with their knowledge of healthy foods and children to create Fresh Baby. Cheryl and Joan put a modern twist on the conventional wisdom that when you make it yourself, you know it's better. Their goal at Fresh Baby is to make the task of raising a healthy eater a little bit easier for all parents. Visit them online at www.FreshBaby.com and subscribe to their Fresh Ideas newsletter to get monthly ideas, tips and activities for developing your family's healthy eating habits! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Beyond Flowers By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman How do you plan on saying "I love you" this Valentine's Day? Many advertisers would have us believe that the best way to express love is with a large box of chocolates, a pair of expensive diamond earrings, or a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Others would recommend a candlelight dinner and a quiet evening together. At the very least, some suggest the perfect card with eloquent words written by a greeting card professional to express your loving feelings. But what if you were to look beyond flowers, chocolates, and candlelight dinners this Valentine's Day? What if the single best gift you could give your spouse is one that enables your children to see more than a commercial-style Valentine's love? What if the gift you commit to this Valentine's Day helps your children realize that you truly love their mother or father every day of the year? Below are a few ideas to communicate, "I love you," on February 14th and on every day following. They are designed to touch the heart and the soul of your partner as well as those of your children. This year . . . Be a listener more than a talker. Put down the newspaper, turn off the television, put the cell phone on vibrate, and focus on your spouse. Seek first to understand her wants, needs and feelings about a particular situation or the past day's events. There will be another time for you to share your personal wants and feelings. Be there for your spouse and let your children see that. Share your appreciation for your spouse publicly. Let your partner know that you appreciate him and all that he is doing for the family. Do not do this with words that evaluate and rate performance, such as "good," "fantastic," "wonderful." Instead, be specific about what you appreciate and describe the effect his effort has had on you and your family life. Let your children overhear some of this specific appreciation. Refuse to speak negatively about your spouse (or ex-spouse) in front of your children. Keep your feelings and comments to yourself or share them privately with the person in question, regardless of the circumstances. When you need to vent, do it with a friend, a family member, or a therapist. Negative comments about your child's other parent are never to be uttered in their presence. This is especially important in divorce situations. Remember, no matter how you feel toward your ex-spouse, he or she is still your children's parent. It does not hurt the ex when you make negative comments in front of your children. It hurts your children. Demonstrate support for your spouse by encouraging her aspirations and interests. Remember, you are parenting as a team. Rearrange your schedule if needed so that your partner can enjoy yoga, volleyball, or reading quietly. When only one person's interests are being met in a relationship, imbalance occurs and the entire family feels the effects of the load being placed on the other parent. Create balance by supporting your spouse's interests so that your family can run more smoothly. Keep your commitments. Do what you said you would do. When you say that you are going to pick the kids up at a specific time, do it. If you say that you will watch the children while your spouse takes a parenting break, then step up and handle the situations that arise. Establish a date night every couple of weeks and actually spend time together as adults. Get a babysitter, pass the kids to the grandparents, or take turns watching another couple's children. Make the time to nurture your relationship on a regular basis. The kids will be comforted in knowing that Mom and Dad take care of themselves, too. Succeed at home first. Yes, your professional lives are important. Yes, it is important that your careers flourish and that you find meaningful work that is satisfying and rewarding. And what is the value of being successful away from home if you are unsuccessful in creating a loving, connected family? Make one of your Valentine gifts to your family a commitment to place family first. The traditional chocolates or flowers, accompanied by a meaningful card, are one way to say, "I love you." This year, let that be only the first step in communicating love for your spouse and children. Why not take the next step? Go beyond flowers and chocolates this year and use Valentine's Day to make a new commitment to those you love the most. Say, "I love you," every day by using the above suggestions to help your children see real affection in action throughout the entire year. Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of the upcoming Teaching the Attraction Principle#8482; to Children and The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today at www.personalpowerpress.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

The Truth About Teen Blogging By Barbara McRae www.teenfrontier.com Four million teens are blogging! What's a blog you ask? A blog (web +log) is an online journal often hosted free of charge by such companies as MySpace.com, Live Journal, and FaceBook.com. Blogging is quickly becoming the "teen" pastime of choice. It has huge appeal because it's fast and easy; if you can write, you can blog. It#146;s a place that allows free self expression and it's interactive; young people post their replies to individual blogs. It#146;s also social; kids can connect and share their ideas with other young people. All of these reasons perfectly fit the needs of the Atari generation: kids born in the early 80s who grew up with video games. These kids are wired differently; they have unique characteristics and have a strong need for attention, close connection, and a fast feedback loop. Blogging at its best can build social skills, enhance writing ability, and provide opportunities for asserting personal views and concerns to millions on the net. At worst, blogging can turn negative. The illusion of privacy and typing into your computer within your own four walls can lead to dangerous consequences, including a rise in Internet stalking and cyber bullying. Often the need for attention and self-identity is so great that teens post provocative pictures and outrageous descriptions that can get them in trouble. Blogging may FEEL like its private, but it's public! Plus, posting information that is deemed harmful to a person's reputation can result in legal action. Blogging Tip for Teens: Keep personal information about YOURSELF private; leave detailed information about your name, contact data, school name, your close relationships, and the places you frequent out of your blog. Predators look for this information. Keep personal information about OTHERS private; giving out their contact information could endanger others. If you want to vent about suspicions you have of the behavior of others, don't post it. Rumors are gossip; if you gossip verbally and it causes injury to another, its slander; if you post it, its libel. Check your post before submitting it. Read it as if you were a stranger and double check for revealing personal information. Then, ask yourself, how you'd feel if your post was read by your parents or teachers. Would you still send it? How about if it showed up in your daily newspaper? Remember, blogs are public. If you're not comfortable having the whole world know your content, rewrite it. Check the photos that you are including. Are you compromising yourself or others? Would you be comfortable having your future employer see them? It's possible they would. The photos and information you post are readily accessible to anyone. Protect your blog. Keep your password to yourself and exit out of your blog page when your computer is unattended to be sure that no one else can enter and write something, pretending to be you. If you are concerned about your teen's blog, you can do a search on Google ( www.blogsearch.google.com ). Use keywords (your child's name or email address). You can also go directly to the popular teen sites listed above and enter your search information. Should you read your child's blog? Given the public nature of blogs, why not? Just make sure that you don't over react if you find something disturbing. Turn it into a teaching opportunity instead. Consider this:You can't help your teens if you're uninformed. copy;2005 Barbara McRae, MCC. Barbara McRae, Master Certified Coach, Parent/Teen Expert, and Founder of www.teenfrontier.com , #147;A Neon Whispers #153; Company#148;, is the bestselling author of Coach Your Teen to Success . Barbara coaches internationally, facilitates workshops, and has been featured in various media outlets, including radio, TV, national magazines, and newspapers. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>