Today's Family Man "Helping a Perfectionist Student" By Gregory Keer A question I received over the summer from a concerned parent asked about her 10-year-old who was already getting anxious about going back to school because she's heard the fifth-grade teacher is hard. The father said his daughter is a good student, but is developing a sense of perfectionism. He pointed out that he never pressures his daughter to be such a high achiever, nor does his wife, so he wanted to know what he could do to help his child. As a high-school teacher, I see all kinds of students, a number of whom have perfectionist personalities. Nothing but an 'A' is good enough, and often, if they don't achieve the highest score, they get upset or depressed. We're seeing younger and younger children begin anxieties over grades, body image, and old-fashioned popularity, so it's wise to start working on this issue now. Often, academic perfectionism is due to parental pressure, which isn't the case with the questioning parent. Sometimes, it's due to peer pressure and sheer competitiveness. A child may want to stand out in her crowd or rise to a higher level among her peers by being the top student. And still another cause can be internal pressure to gain control over her world. Getting all or most of the answers right gives a child a sense that she's got a hold over some part of her life, when other things may be less manageable. Talk to Your Child As with most concerns about your child, you should start with talking to her. Perhaps you have done some talking, but this time, be really specific with your questions. Ask her how she feels when she doesn't get an 'A,' when someone else does better than her, or when she's confused about a math problem or writing assignment. Be a Role Model Tell your child stories about yourself as a student and what made you worried. Mention your failures and how you learned from them. One of the best ways to help your child is to make them see you as a credible model who survived similar challenges. Teach her that failure is the gateway to more knowledge and that no one, let alone you, gets all the answers, especially the first time around. Recognize that she may not completely identify with you, but she will see you as being willing to meet her at her level. Speak to Other Parents and Siblings Especially if you're not getting enough of a clear picture from your daughter, you might want to discuss how her friends' parents perceive her. This is a tricky area, and you may even want to ask your daughter's permission to talk to the other parents, but you can learn something from an outsider's perspective. Perhaps the parent's own child has talked about your daughter and can offer insight. If you have another child who's older than your daughter, talk to him/her too. A sibling sees with different eyes and may have just the perspective you need. Inquire About the Teacher Encourage your daughter to talk to students who had the teacher in question. How hard is she? Why is she difficult? It may be that only one or two students feel the teacher was challenging while others found her funny, fascinating, or inspiring. You can do this with her or have her call people and report back to you. As a secondary resort, consider talking to the principal or other school advisor about the teacher and his/her expectations. Getting your daughter the lowdown in advance can mitigate a lot of anxiety. If possible, you may be able to meet with the teacher a couple of weeks before school starts since some instructors work on campus to prepare for the year. Round Out and Prioritize Her Activities Think about what your daughter does outside of the classroom or study time. Does she play sports or music? These are wonderful activities that can balance out her focus, as long as her perfectionism doesn't spill over into them. Discuss with her what she feels is most important to her life, as it stands today. Perhaps you can write down what she does on a given day and give each item a 'grade.' Does she need to do 'A' work in class? Would she be happy if she got a 'B' on the soccer field? Can she live with a 'C' on the flute? Not everyone can be great at everything and, if your child is suffering from anxiety in the effort to be perfect, a grading of her activities can show her that she can still be pleased with herself and have fun though she's not at the top of the mountain. Free Time She should also have free time built into the day and week in general. Time to just hang out, listen to music, watch TV, etc. If she's resistant to be unproductive, try taking her to a yoga class for kids (they do exist!). Teaching her the habit of decompressing is essential and centering even at her age. Watch Out for Other Signs Because my advice may only scratch the surface, think about talking to your pediatrician because perfectionism can have significant physical effects. In fact, continually pay attention to your daughter's behavior. If she develops regular sleep problems or loses appetite on an ongoing basis, you should consult your pediatrician for advice. Your daughter is still young and malleable, so taking care of her patterns now will save you all a lot of grief later. Offer Love and Support At the root level, what your daughter needs most is your unconditional love and support. You may already be giving that, but keep reminding her of how proud you are of her efforts, whether they result in 'A's' or much lower. Celebrate her work by posting her 'C' paper on the fridge as well as the 'A' on the math quiz to show her that you think she's grand no matter how she does. (c)copy;2006 Gregory Keer. All rights reserved. Gregory Keer is a syndicated columnist, educator, and on-air expert on fatherhood. His Family Man(r) column appears in publications such as L.A. Parent, Boston Parents' Paper, and Bay Area Parent. In addition to writing for Parenting magazine and the Parents' Choice Foundation, Keer publishes the online fatherhood magazine, www.familymanonline.com . He also contributes to USA Today, Pregnancy , DrLaura.com, and ParentingBookmark.com. Keer is a guest expert on television and radio and advisor to the Cartoon Network. He and his wife are the proud parents of three sons. Keer can be reached at www.familymanonline.com . For details on his parent coaching, go to www.familymanonline.com/section.php?section=consulting . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Send Kids Back to School with a Healthy Diet By Elizabeth Yarnell www.GloriousOnePotMeals.com It's time for kids to gear up for school. So what does that mean for your child's diet? Hopefully not a strict diet of fast food five days a week as you run to football practices and dance lessons. The start of the school year can indeed be a busy time for families, but it is possible to make healthy meals even with time constraints. It just takes a little know-how. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), "The percentage of children who are overweight has more than doubled, and among adolescents the rates have more than tripled since 1980." Being overweight can be associated with diabetes and other physical and mental health issues for young people such as bone and joint problems, sleep apnea, and social and psychological problems such as stigmatization and poor self-esteem. Whether or not we want to hear about it - and most of us don't - we need to start thinking about what we feed our kids. The CDC found that 4 out of 5 teens don't get enough fruits or vegetables, over half get too much saturated fat, and most adolescents, particularly girls, don't get enough calcium in their diets. Research is now showing that the antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals contained in fruits and vegetables may protect against everything from cancer, heart disease, and stroke to cataracts, chronic obstructive lung disease, diverticulosis, high blood pressure and a multitude of other diseases. Even chronic grown-up immunologic diseases such as multiple sclerosis and adult-onset diabetes may benefit from a varied diet rich in plant-based foods. A diet based on whole foods rather than the packaged, processed, synthesized foods we have become dependent on, can be an effective long-term strategy to combat excess weight. Weight loss and maintenance become delightful side-effects of eating right, instead of the main and perhaps, somewhat distorted, focus. And best of all, by offering real food we are modeling great lifelong eating habits for our kids! The major emphasis of the idea of eating for better health is on dietary patterns: what kinds of foods (processed or whole) we eat on a regular basis. This approach is extremely effective not only because it is easier to implement than calorie-counting for the individual and/or family, but also because a varied diet of whole foods provides a wide range of nutrients, vitamins and minerals for energy and health. According to the American Institute of Cancer Research (AICR), "Every new vegetable, fruit, whole grain or bean that finds its way onto your plate contributes disease-fighting power. And all the fat and calories you save may make a real difference on your waistline." Many of today's adults were raised on the "meat-and-potatoes" diet that included only a smattering of side-dish vegetables smothered in cheese, drenched in butter or deep-fried in lard. The idealized mother of the past built a meal for her family based around a hefty serving of meat followed by a large dose of processed starch (white rice, mashed potato flakes, packaged stuffing, etc.) with a few overcooked vegetables on the side, often smuggled away in napkins or under the table to the helpful family dog. It was cool eat food that came out of a box rather than from a farm, and to not like eating vegetables. The time has truly come for us to change our ways and return to eating a diet based in whole, unprocessed foods. That means feeding our kids real fruits and vegetables, meats, whole grains, and legumes instead of fruit chews, lunch meats, processed cheeses and white breads. Even a subtle change in diet can positively impact health and weight for the whole family. Knowledge is the key to making healthy food choices, and understanding that eating healthily is a lifelong opportunity may empower all of us to begin choosing healthy options of whole foods more often. Here's an easy recipe that uses whole foods in a cast iron Dutch oven to create a kid-pleasing meal that is both nutritious and delicious. Real cheese, whole wheat pasta, and a variety of vegetables make this meal a healthy and tasty choice for dinner. Use any combination of cheeses you desire, or even a cheese substitute (soy or rice cheese), to make this a mac-and-cheese you can feel good about serving. Glorious Macaroni Cheese Serves 4 Ingredients 4 cups macaroni-shaped whole grain pasta 1 1/3 cup water or liquid from canned tomatoes (see below) 6-10 drops olive oil 16-24 oz. cheese, sliced or grated 4 carrots, sliced 2 Tbsp. oregano, fresh chopped, or 1 tsp. dried salt and pepper to taste 1 cup broccoli florets, halved 1-2 cups spinach, roughly chopped 4-6 tomatoes, chopped, or 2 14 oz. cans, drained Instructions Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray inside of 3 1/2 or 4-quart cast iron Dutch oven and lid with olive oil, taking care to fully coat all interior surfaces. Place dry noodles in pot. If using canned tomatoes, drain and reserve the liquid and use to make the 1 1/3 cup of liquid, adding water as needed. If using fresh tomatoes, use all water. Add olive oil to liquid, stir and pour over pasta. Mix gently and spread pasta evenly across bottom of pot. Place a layer of cheese over pasta. Add carrots. Sprinkle with half of the garlic and half of the oregano. Lightly salt and pepper. Layer in broccoli and cover with a blanket of cheese. Sprinkle rest of spices and lightly salt and pepper. Top with spinach and fresh or drained canned tomatoes. Cover and bake for 30-35 minutes, or about 3 minutes after the aroma of a fully cooked meal escapes the oven. Tips Overcooking this recipe may cause the noodles to clump and a crusty layer to form along the bottom and lower sides of the pot. While these tasty strips are fun to crunch, you can avoid this effect by paying careful attention to when the aroma first escapes the oven and announces that the meal is ready. About the author: Elizabeth Yarnell is a Certified Nutritional Consultant and the author of Glorious One-Pot Meals: A new quick healthy approach to Dutch oven cooking , a guide to a guide to preparing quick, healthy and balanced one-pot meals. As a mother of young children, a diet of whole foods is an important strategy in her battle with Multiple Sclerosis. Visit Elizabeth online at www.GloriousOnePotMeals.com to subscribe to her free newsletter. The Glorious One-Pot Meal cooking method is unique and holds US patent 6,846,504. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Back to School Time Management Jill Hart CWAHM.com The kids are headed back to school and it feels like you should have a lot of extra time on your hands. Why aren't you able to accomplish all that needs to be done? Time management is a big struggle no matter what stage of life you're in. As work at home moms, it is even more important that we manage our time wisely. Below are five tips on how you can accomplish more during the time the kids are in school. Set your priorities - It's important to map out not only what needs to be accomplished during the time that you have allotted each day, but also what things are most important. Make a list of the tasks that need to be accomplished and then rank them according to deadline, desire to complete, etc. Keep in mind that the more you can do while the kids are in school, the more time you'll have with them the rest of the day. If at all possible, make time with you spouse and children the center of your day and try to work around it. Schedule your time - Now that you know what order your list needs to be accomplished in, take the time to write out a schedule of how and when you will complete each item. This will give you a tangible way to see your progress each day. Your schedule doesn't need to be set in stone - it needs to be somewhat flexible so that it doesn't become burdensome. Having a plan of action will help you avoid distractions and accomplish more during the time you have available. Delegate - Whenever possible, delegate tasks that can be accomplished by others. Have your kids stuff envelopes, have hubby print out business cards for you, and if you have a virtual assistant (VA), allow them to do some of the online work or phone calls for you. The best thing I've done for my business this last year is to hire a virtual assistant. She is fast, efficient and saves me a lot of time. I can be working with clients and making sales while she handles my article distribution and other tasks. The time saved is well worth the money spent. Let the phone ring - Customer service is one of the most important parts of running a home-based business. Being available for your customers and being willing to answer questions is what will set you apart from the many other businesses out there. However, if you are working to accomplish a task that is important to your business it may be necessary to allow the phone to ring and the answering machine to handle some calls. I'm not suggesting that you ignore your customers, but that you use your answering machine for what it is - a message service. By knowing who has called and what they need, you can call your customers back when you have time to work with them without feeling rushed. Also, by knowing what your customers need before your speak with them you can make preparations ahead of time, thus spending less time on the phone and saving both yourself and customer time. Take a Break - One of the biggest mistakes of work-at-home moms is to work too much. Because we are building our own businesses we feel that we will not succeed unless we're working - or at least thinking about work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. This simply isn't true. Taking care of yourself is one of the best things that you can do for your business. Focusing on something other than your business can give you clarity and help you avoid burn-out. Running a home-based business while your children are in school is possible, but it does take efficiency and organization. It's very important that you set your priorities and your schedule your time in a way that is flexible and that allows you to get the most accomplished in the time that you have available. Don't get discouraged if it seems like you're not accomplishing much some days. Rest, go easy on yourself and do your best. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com . This site is dedicated to providing work at home moms with opportunities to promote their businesses while at the same time providing them spiritual encouragement and articles. Jill and her husband, Allen of CWAHD.com (Christian Work at Home Dads) reside in Nebraska with their two children.Listen to Jill's radio show, Christian Work at Home Moment, at http://www.cwahm.com/loudblog ! Permission Granted for use on Dr.Laura.com More >>

Pain in the Back: Your Child's Backpack May Not Be the Cause Dr. Robert Duvall www.losethebackpain.com Back pain is pervasive throughout the adult population. It is one of the most common reasons to visit a doctor. Young children are suffering from back pain much earlier than previously reported, and the use of overweight backpacks is a major contributing factor. In addition to overloaded backpacks, improper wearing of them may predispose a child to various health problems. Back pain usually results from repetitive loading as well as improper mechanics, not to mention kids are getting weaker and less physically active, leading to the child's inability to handle the load of the backpack. Does your child complain or exhibit the following signs and symptoms? Aching back Aching neck and shoulders Tingling in the arms and hands Slumped posture: rounded shoulders, forward head Posture changes when wearing a backpack Struggling when putting on or taking off the backpack Redness and/or soreness on the shoulders The major contributing factors associated with injury; Muscle imbalances: too weak in the abdominal area, shoulder blades, and/or lower body Slumped posture while standing and sitting Posture changes: arching the back, leaning forward, leaning to one side These factors may cause improper loading on the spine, which in turn can cause poor alignment of the vertebrae, which negatively impacts the function of the discs as shock absorbers. When the backpack is too heavy or positioned poorly, this causes muscles to work harder, leading to strain and fatigue that ultimately makes the back, neck and shoulders more susceptible to injury. Recommendations to ensure proper and safe backpack use; Do not carry more than 15 percent of the child's body weight. For example, a child who weighs 100 pounds should not carry more than 15 pounds in his or her backpack. Utilize both straps over the shoulders. This provides better distribution of the weight. Make sure they are well padded. If the backpack has a waist belt, use it to reduce the load on the shoulders and neck. Load the heaviest items closest to the child's back. Make sure the books and the other materials do not slide around. Make sure the backpack is positioned across the mid back and do not allow it to hang below the waist of the child. Straps should not be loose, and should be adjusted while putting on and taking off to permit free movement of the arms without twisting and side bending the spine. Parents should assist with the loading and the organization of the books and materials. Make sure the items are necessary for each particular day. If necessary, it's OK to have the child hand carry a couple of books. Listen to your child. If he or she continues to complain of pain and discomfort do not shrug it off. There are plenty of things children can do to avoid pain. Have them evaluated by a medical professional. You may consider a backpack that has wheels. Make sure the extended handle is the appropriate length to prevent the child from bending and twisting excessively. Be aware of your child's habits and physical make-up. Proper exercise and nutrition are key to preventing injuries immediately as well as later in life. The truth is as kids get stronger and their muscles become more balanced, they will build up the tolerance to these and other daily stresses of life. It just takes a little bit of knowledge and coaching from Mom and Dad to encourage your child to become more active in a fun way. I encourage you to keep in mind what I call "balanced muscle development." It is the key to any and all development. If you are not certain as to how a child can achieve a balanced body, please seek professional help from a certified health care provider. About the author: Dr. Robert V. Duvall, DPT, MPT, ATC, MGFI, graduated from Shenandoah University's Program in Physical Therapy with a Master of Physical Therapy degree in 1998. He earned his Doctorate of Physical Therapy degree from the Physical Therapy Program at Shenandoah University. Visit www.losethebackpain.com to sign up for your free back pain e-mail educational course. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

"What Did You Learn in School Today?" Tips for Getting Your Kids to Talk about School By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman "What did you learn in school today?" "Nothing." "Anything interesting happen? "Nope." "Did you like it?" "It was OK." Does getting your kids to offer information about school seem more difficult than pulling teeth? Do you ever feel like a lawyer cross examining your child in an attempt to find out what's really happening at school? Do you wish your child would volunteer more information about his educational experience so you wouldn't have to ask so often? If so, this article is for you. Employ the following do's and don'ts to increase your child's willingness to share useful and important information about his school experience. Don't play 20 questions. Ask a few questions each day and rotate them. No one likes being asked the same question every day. And no one likes being asked 20 questions on any one day. It feels like prying and gives the child one more reason to clam up. Scale back the number of questions you ask. Do ask questions that require more than a one word response. "Did you have a good day today?" and "How did it go today?" require one word answers. If you ask that kind of question you do not encourage a lengthy response. The child can answer, "Yes," and "Fine." Instead, ask a question that requires some thought. "Tell me about the most interesting thing that happened to you today," and "What surprised you about school today?" will usually generate more lengthy responses. Do use the "Say some more" technique to encourage your child to expand on a brief answer. After a short response, use the phrase, "Say some more" to elicit further information. Say some more is invitational and sounds less like a question. "Please continue," "Go on." and "Keep going" are parent talk phrases that encourage the child to keep talking. Don't seem desperate. Children can smell desperation. It gives them a sense of power to withhold from an adult something the adult appears to want so badly. When you come across as wanting information desperately you encourage the child to cling on to whatever it is she has that seems so valuable to you. Do use your parenting network to glean school information. If you don't have one, get one. Rely on the other parents in your child's classroom to provide you information. Remember, in a network, information flows both ways. So when you have useful information or hear a disturbing report contact the parents in your network. See what they know and share what you have learned. Do encourage your child to invite friends over. Your child will talk more freely in the presence of peers. Ask occasional questions to the friend to show your interest. Often the friend will tell you more than your own child. In addition, you will often overhear your child and her friends talking about school. Be still and listen. Don't ask questions to which you already know the answer. This is a set-up for your child. He may not answer the way you expect and then you are in the position of trying to determine if he is lying or hiding something. Instead, tell him what you know and ask for further clarification from his point of view. If your child ever starts talking about school, do stop talking and assume the listening stance. Give your child the space to talk. Listen non-judgmentally. Nothing will stop the flow if information faster than judging what is said. When you react like a judge the information flow dries up. Don't expect that your child is going to tell you everything that goes on at school. It's not going to happen. Be active and involved. Find out what is going on by being present. Get involved at school. Talk to the teachers regularly. Do create family times where conversation predominates. If the TV is on during dinner there is no space left for talk. If the radio and walkman's are on in the car, when can talk occur? Set the norm by talking about your day during these times. Be the change you would like to encourage in your family. There is no quick fix to get your kids talking about school. There is only a series of strategies that need to be implemented and used consistently throughout the school year. These skills will work if you work the skills. Your child didn't learn to be silent about school information overnight and she won't learn to speak more freely overnight either. Invest the time. You, your child, and your child's education are worth it. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Improve Your Life Right Away -- Get Dressed! by Jill Cooper www.LivingOnADime.com Do you want to get out of debt? Do you want to get your house organized and have more control over your life? Do you want your family to respect you more than they do? Then get dressed! I realize that for some people, like those with newborns and toddlers, this can be a challenge to say the least, but do what you can. At first it may mean only getting dressed during the baby's first nap of the day, but keep working at it until you can comb your hair and put on your make-up. Getting dressed may not seem important but it really is at the top of the list of things you can do to improve your life. I had a woman once tell me she never got dressed in the morning, but that she could do her housework just fine. This same woman in the next breath was bemoaning the fact she couldn't get her family to help her or show her any respect. Take a good long look in the mirror at yourself and see what your family sees. Is it a woman perpetually dressed in pajamas or sweats, with hair sticking out all over and without any make-up? I know they are your family and are supposed to love you no matter how you look. They would never ever say anything to you because they do love you, but there is a difference between love and respect. I know several women who never ever put on make-up or get dressed unless they are going to work or out someplace fancy. How do you think that makes their husbands and children feel? The message that a family receives is that they are not as important as the rest of the world. Many of these women wonder why their families don't respect them! If your boss showed up each day to work in her pajamas, without make-up and combed hair and then proceeded to sit down at her cluttered desk before demanding that you keep your desk spotless, wear pantyhose and a skirt and keep your nails manicured, how would you feel? Would you respect her? Would you want to even introduce her to your friends? You might do what she says, but you wouldn't respect her. Do you think your husband and young children don't notice how you present yourself? Do you remember as a young child seeing your mom all dressed up to go to church or out for the evening and being so proud of how beautiful she looked? If your mom never dressed up, do you remember seeing your friends moms and wishing yours looked like that? Children notice even the littlest things. One day, my 5 year old granddaughter hugged me and said "Nan, you and Great Grandma always smell so good!" Even something as small as using a little perfume makes an impression and leaves a lasting memory. I'm sorry, but it's a fact of life you have to earn respect. The dictionary's definition for earn is "to receive something for work done." The definition of work is "sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result." Translated, that means to get respect you will have to put forth some effort -- sustained or continual effort, even when there are Legos -- um I mean "obstacles" in your path. One time I had to have major surgery. It was complicated by the fact I had a chronic illness and I was just plain worn out. The doctor insisted that I get some major rest. She told me that I was not to get out of my pajamas for three weeks. Why? Because once I got dressed, it was a signal for my friends and family that I was up to working again. Sure enough, the minute I slipped my clothes on, they were all over me. Now you may be reading this story and saying "If that's the case, I'll never get dressed again!" Trust me, I was tempted to stay in my pajamas for the rest of my life. But the point I'm trying to make is the way that you dress does send a signal -- to your family and yourself. If you have been neglecting this part of your life and have been frustrated with a general lack of cooperation from your family, could it be that you have been giving them mixed signals? Jill Cooper is the editor of www.LivingOnADime.com . As a single mother of two, Jill Cooper started her own business without any capital and paid off $35,000 debt in 5 years on $1,000 a month income. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Getting Your Children School Ready By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman Back to school is in the air. Parents are currently being bombarded with back to school sales in magazines, newspapers, television ads, and store flyers. Whether you shop on line or wait in line, advertisers suggest that their store or website has everything you could possibly need to get your child school ready. Have you made your list yet? Most lists include: a book bag, pens, pencils, glue stick, spiral note pad, compass, calculator, 3-ring binder, gym shoes, and clothes. You may even have a lunch box on your list. But are these things what your children really need in order to be ready for school? Perhaps getting your child school ready involves more that buying things. Maybe supplies are not what you need to supply for your child to get them off to a good start this school year. It just might be that the best getting ready for school strategies you can employ are not found at the mall or your local department store. Consider the following. Below are five suggestions for getting your children school ready. Do they need to be on your back to school list? Start the school schedule early. Break the summer sleep-in/stay-up late mode. Begin the morning and evening school routine at least two weeks before school actually starts. Don't expect that you child will be able to make the adjustment to getting up for school quickly or easily without a break in period.. Take the full two weeks to work into the routine slowly by adjusting the bedtime and wakeup time a few minutes everyday until the desired time is reached. Your goal is to have the schedule set prior to the first day of school. Create a positive attitude about going back to school. Talk to your children about being able to see their friends, meet their new teacher and all the opportunities that being at school provides. Focus on your child's area of interest and emphasize all the ways in which school helps to enhance that topic. When your child speaks negatively, redirect him into the positive. Visit the school. Reacquaint your child with the school. During the summer classrooms change, teachers transfer to new buildings, principals are reassigned, and new playground equipment gets installed. Don't wait for orientation day to get reacquainted. Go to the school and play on the play ground, meet the new principal or office personnel, talk to the janitor. Set goals for the upcoming school year. Help your children create realistic expectations for themselves about school. Talk about what they want to accomplish this school year, not what you want them to accomplish. Remember not all of school is about grades. Making new friends, speaking out in class, standing up for oneself, staying organized, and managing behavior are all crucial skills for a successful school year. Model learning. Create a time in your home when everyone is involved in learning related activities such as reading, playing with numbers, telling family stories, journaling, or quiet reflection. Turn off the television and video games and have a set time for the whole family to feed their brain. In fact, model learning year round, even through the summer months. This will set the stage for homework. A study time can be a logical extension of the learning time you have in your home. Give your kids every opportunity to be ready for school this year. Head to the mall or department store with your list of needed items and remember to add to your list the suggestions above. By doing so you give your kids what they really need to begin this school year---structure, energy, enthusiasm, and a positive attitude. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Take Five Steps to More Energy By Dr. Thomas O. Goode Energy is the key to life. When you have energy you are able to do more, see more, and be more. Unfortunately, we have lost touch with what our bodies need to perform well. This often leaves us chronically exhausted and sluggish. The good news is that there are positive steps we can take to remedy this situation. First and foremost, we need to reeducate ourselves. Learning what the body and mind needs for peak functioning allows us to care for ourselves with intention. Only then is it possible to break the low energy cycle and live well. Five Simple Steps to More Energy Food. Food fuels your body. It supplies the energy you need to live your best life. The body needs proper nutrition to perform a number of tasks. It utilizes the food you feed it to make the energy necessary for all bodily functions. It uses the energy it produces for external tasks as well. Your mental and physical activities all depend on energy. If your body is not receiving the proper nutrients, it will first take what it needs to keep itself running. Whatever is left over goes towards your conscious actions. Therefore, in order to live well and accomplish your goals, you must feed your body well. This means giving your body more of what it uses efficiently and less of what it can not use at all. For instance, your body digests and utilizes protein first. Nonessential foods such as fat and alcohol are digested last or stored as fat. This is because your body doesn't need them to thrive. A well balanced diet consists of adequate protein, plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and a small amount low fat dairy and fat. You should also strive to eat quality foods. Foods in their natural state without added chemicals are good. Organic produce and grain fed meats are best. Water. Dehydration is one of the major and lesser known reasons for fatigue. We reach this state because the body does not tell us it needs water until the last minute... Therefore, it is possible to be dehydrated before you become thirsty. In addition, we often confuse our thirst and hunger signals. That is why dieters are often told to drink a glass of water when they are hungry. Many times the body needs water not food. To ensure you get the water your body needs, drink 6-8 8 ounce glasses of water a day. Exercise. When you are tired, exercise is about the last thing you feel capable of. But, exercise actually increases your energy level. When first adding regular exercise to your life, you will notice that you are tired afterwards. Stick to it. After a short amount of time you will be less tired after your workouts and have more energy overall. It is also important to remember that exercise does not have to be grueling or extensive. Be sure to choose an activity you enjoy and will enter into with pleasure. That could be walking, running, gardening, swimming or canoeing. Just as long as you are active. Walking for a half an hour a day provides you with enough exercise to increase your energy level and live well. Emotions. Many people do not realize how much energy it takes to restrict their emotions. It takes a great deal more energy to keep your emotions in check or bottled up than it does to freely express them. Learning how to constructively express displeasure or ask for what you need is uplifting. Dealing with your emotional issues in a positive way takes away the burden of harboring them. This results in more energy for the things you enjoy. Breathing. Most of us take breathing for granted. It is something our bodies do. Unfortunately, for many of us, it isn't something we do well. As we age, we begin adopt shallow breathing patterns. These patterns do not provide our bodies with the oxygen necessary to proper functioning. Proper breathing involves drawing big breaths and expanding the abdomen, solar plexus, and lungs with oxygen. Learning how to breath well can give your body more of what it needs. Then it can give you more energy and more of what you desire from life. For more information on proper breathing techniques, visit www.fullwavebreathing.com . Dr. Thomas O. Goode is the co-founder of the International Breath Institute, which was created in 1991 to teach people how to enhance their health and prevent premature aging. He is also an inspirational speaker, workshop facilitator, and author of seven books, the latest of which is Fully Alive-Feel Better, Look Younger and Improve Your Sex Life. To contact Dr. Good, receive the free ezine, or for more information on Full Wave Breathing, visit www.fullwavebreathing.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Five Ways to Stop Cyberbullying By Steve Cross www.guardiansoftware.com A man named Bill Belsey is officially recognized as creating the term "Cyberbullying". Here's how Bill defines it.... "Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging, defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group that is intended to harm others." What it means is other kids sending your kids threats, abuse, and profanity. According to a report on National Public Radio on 3/3/06, 30% of all girls have been bullied. Playground bullies have moved indoors, only now, using the internet and email, the bullies are both boys and girls. Your kids are not safe from this. Kids have become so despondent that they have taken their own lives over cyberbullying. Here are 5 ways you can help stop cyberbullying: Talk with your kids. Let them know they are not alone; you are there to help. And let them know they did nothing wrong. Some people are just bullies. If your kids are being bullied, save all of their emails and the text messages they have received. These will be useful to law enforcement and educators. ISPs and cell phone companies can use these to find and disconnect perpetrators. If one of your kids is being cyber bullied, report it to the police. Be persistent, and report the offenses. Also show copies of the emails and text messages to law enforcement. If your kids won't talk with you about it, buy and install internet monitoring software. This is a kind of low cost software that will hide on their computer and monitor text, chat, IM, and emails. The best of these will email you reports. And last, if your kid is on the giving end of cyber bullying, you must take away their privileges immediately. You have liability here, both ethical and legal. Steve Cross, President of Guardian Software, is a columnist, author, and the former President of family-friendly internet pioneer YourFreeStuff.com. Steve wrote the book "Changing Channels", and was a columnist for the Gartner Group's "Channel Media" newsletters for years. Before purchasing Guardian Software he served in senior level executive positions with several software companies. For more information visit www.GuardianSoftware.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Help Reset Your Child's Internal Clock before School Starts By Patti Teel www.pattiteel.com I have fond memories of my children excitedly preparing for each new school year. With a brand new pair of tennis shoes and backpack, they looked forward to the new school year with both eager anticipation and trepidation. While buying our children new school supplies may help tip the scale towards eager anticipation, it's much more important to help children to prepare for their school year by making sure they're well rested. Parents can help their children get off to a good start by readjusting their sleep schedule before school begins. While the first few weeks of school are exciting, they are also stressful as your child adjusts to new experiences, people and classes. Being well rested can help children make the transition, cutting down on some of the stress and ensuring that they are ready to face the challenges, to focus and to learn. During the long summer break many children have gotten used to sleeping in simply "because it's vacation." Family trips and summer activities often throw off the schedules of even the most diligent parents. Children may have gotten into the pattern of staying up late and sleeping late. If this problem isn't corrected before school starts, children are likely to struggle as they adjust to an earlier schedule. Parents can help re-set their children's internal clocks and correct this problem so they're ready for school. I suggest that for a week before school starts, you move up bedtime by 15-30 minutes. But simply having children go to sleep earlier won't solve the problem as long as they are still getting up late. Most importantly, parents need to consistently wake their children up earlier. To motivate your children to get out of bed, it often helps if you create a reason for them to have to get up in the morning. It would be ideal to have them spend time outdoors; the early morning sunshine helps to reset the internal clock. The first week that you wake your children up earlier can cause them to be tired and sleep deprived; however, if you continue to firmly enforce the wake-up time, your child should begin to naturally fall asleep earlier. By beginning this process a week before school starts children will have the advantage of being well rested and ready to learn-starting with the very first day of school. When children have trouble getting out of bed on their own in the morning, are grouchy, and/or have irritable or moody behavior during the day, it's very likely that they need more sleep. Insufficient sleep affects mood, immunity and the ability to learn. Ideally, children should consistently go to bed at the same time every night. Even on the weekends, bedtime should not vary by more thanone hour a night or a total of two hours for the entire weekend. If it does,you're setting your child up for a kind of jet lag when Monday morning rolls around. In addition, here are some sleep prep tips that may help with theback to school transition: Allow time for a leisurely bedtime routine Have a consistent bedtime. Warn your children five to ten minutes before they need to get ready for bed so they can wrap up what they're doing. Have quiet activities before bed. (Limit television, video games and computer time.) Avoid caffeinated drinks in the late afternoon and evening. Teach your children relaxation techniques to help them relax and fall asleep. Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book , which gives parents techniques to help their children relax, deal with stress or fall asleep. Patti holds Dream Academy workshops at schools, hospitals and libraries across the country where parents and children learn the playful relaxation techniques from her book and widely acclaimed children's audio series. Children at the Dream Academy workshops practice the three R's by resting their bodies, relaxing their minds and refreshing their spirits. Visit Patti online to subscribe to her free newsletter at www.pattiteel.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>