Parents' New Year's Resolutions By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller In 2007, I resolve not to teach my children to have a happy productive life, but rather to help them choose a happy, productive day. I resolve to help my children appreciate that there is no such thing as failure, only temporary results that they can use as feedback to determine their next step. I resolve to fix problems rather than fix blame by maintaining a solution-seeking mindset and teaching my children a problem-solving process. I resolve to aid my children in their struggle with autonomy by creating a balance of power through a shared control style of parenting. I resolve to remember that I want children to behave in ways that reflect what THEY find unacceptable, not in ways that I, the parent, find unacceptable. I resolve to welcome interpersonal skill errors as learning experiences and as important opportunities to implement consequences. I resolve to parent in a way that demonstrates that I believe the only authority children take with them everywhere they go is their inner authority. I resolve to allow my responses to my children to reflect a knowing that some lapses in self-control are developmentally appropriate. I will remember that they behave in certain ways because they are five or eight or fourteen years old. I resolve to parent in a way that reflects my belief that the process is as important as the product. When I am stumped and don't know how to respond to one of my children, I promise to ask myself, "What would love do now?" I also intend to listen internally for an answer. I resolve to recall that I can choose to see any parenting situation differently from the way I have been seeing it. I will remember that perception is always a choice.I resolve to relax, while remembering that relaxing does not mean resigning. I resolve to make my approach to parenting reflect the notion that raising a child is more about drawing out what already exists in a youngster rather than about putting in to fill perceived deficiencies. I resolve to focus on the main purpose of parenting, the creation of who and what we really are as human beings. I resolve to remember that "being right" doesn't work. I resolve to parent as if I believe that a child's I AM (I am athletic, I am creative, etc.) is more important than his or her IQ. I resolve to live today as if attitudes were more easily caught than taught. I resolve to help my children and myself stay conscious of the choices we are making. I resolve to remember the adage, "If you want a behavior, you have to teach a behavior," and I resolve to put that adage into practice in my home. I resolve to see the hurting child in the child that hurts others. I resolve to "be" the change I wish to see in my family. I resolve to talk less and listen more. I resolve to remember that experience can be messy. I will allow my children to learn from the messes they make and the cleanup that follows. I resolve to hold my children accountable for their actions and choices with gentleness and love. I will implement consequences consistently and allow my children to experience the related, respectful, reality-based consequences that flow directly from their actions. I resolve to make myself dispensable and assist my children in becoming increasingly in charge of themselves and their own lives. I resolve to refrain from making my children wrong for their choices, even as I hold them accountable for their actions. I resolve to recognize that my children are in my life as much so I can learn from them as they are so they can learn from me. I will be open to the lessons my children offer me and honor them for helping me learn and grow. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Family Holiday Traditions By Dr. Laura Markham www.yourparentingsolutions.com Seven days of Kwanzaa, eight days of Hanukah, twelve days of Christmas. Enough time, if we seize it, to connect with our families, recharge our batteries, and satisfy our souls. Here are three great holiday lists to get you started. 12 Fabulous Family Holiday Traditions to start with your kids: Make pies to take to the soup kitchen or to the firehouse where folks are hard at work. Write a winter poem together every year; paste them in a scrapbook with a photo. Go on a nature walk to gather greenery. Write "Appreciations" - each person in the family puts one on each of their gifts. Have a holiday card making party; invite the kids' friends. Have a family session to clean and repair old toys and clothes and take them to donate. Spread pinecones with peanut butter and birdseed and put them out for the birds. Bake cookies together to give as presents. Go apple picking, or just buy a bunch, and make applesauce to go with your Hanukah latkes or Christmas pancakes. Deliver Meals on Wheels for homebound folks. Go ice skating together. Have an annual Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or tree trimming party. 12 Ways to Help Your Child Discover His "Inner Angel" Have a Gift for the World, or Charity, or Tzedakah (the Jewish equivalent that means restoring justice) night. Let your kids make a "Wish List" of all the ways they'd like to make the world a better place. Then let each person in the family choose one thing to address one of those issues. For instance, you might make a donation to Hurricane Relief, plan to volunteer at a soup kitchen together, and make a commitment to drive less and buy more efficient light bulbs. Go to the roots of your tradition to talk about giving. Kwanzaa, for instance, is about the principles and practice of bringing good into the world. Celebrating the birth of Christ gives ample opportunity to talk about good deeds. Tzedakah is a fundamental part of Jewish life. Model generosity. Give to the panhandler, bake pies for the elderly. Donate to a worthy cause in honor of the holiday. Make giving a part of your daily life. Don't force kids to share before they're ready, and don't force your kids to give things up "because others are needy." Giving shouldn't be painful. Volunteer as a family. My kids and I volunteer at a local soup kitchen, and my kids love feeling like they're making a difference in these folks' lives. It also helps them feel better when they see a homeless person, to know that person can get a hot meal at "our" soup kitchen. Find ways to involve your kids' friends, for instance by having a party to bake pies to donate. Take them to the local soup kitchen, or to the Firehouse, where the firefighters have to work on the holiday. Have a Donation evening. Go through the house together looking for anything you no longer use that can be cleaned or repaired and donated. Every child deserves the pleasure of giving her own money to a worthy cause. Try giving a little extra weekly allowance that goes in a special "charity" jar, and letting her give it away every year at the holidays. Talk explicitly about your values and why they're important to you. Why do we share with others less fortunate? What IS integrity? Why is respectful behavior important in a church, synagogue or mosque? What does it mean to be a responsible member of a community? Model taking responsibility for your community. "It's a pain to carry this trash till we get to the car, but I don't see a trashcan and we never litter." "This sign says parking is reserved for handicapped people, so of course we can't take that spot." Start while your kids are young. As they get into their teen years, they'll find worthy causes of their own. Share the idea with your kids that giving to others is one of the reasons we're alive. And one of the ways we can all make the world a better place. 12 Pleasing Homemade Presents to Make With Your Kids A selection of handmade cards or wrapping paper to use all year long. Personalized Mousepad. Handmade soap or bath salts. Hand-dipped candles. Canvas bags with iron-on designs. Homemade calendars with photos. Painted picture frames. Tie-dyed tee-shirts, sheets, etc. Christmas ornaments (especially with kids' photos). Gifts for other kids: homemade clay, finger paints, bubbles, puppets. Something from your kitchen: Cookies, jams, fudge, quick breads, your famous spaghetti sauce, your special trail mix, or a kit with the makings for something yummy, tied with a ribbon: your perfect pancakes or scrumptious seven bean soup. Certificates for your services: A massage, babysitting, dog walking, painting a room, flying a kite together. Your goal is to delight your giftees with a token of your affection, not to garner status points or exhaust yourself. One strategy is to make big batches of something that most folks will enjoy -- fudge or bath salts -- so that many of your gifts can be made in one evening. You can easily find instructions for these gifts, and sources for supplies, online. Dr. Laura Markham is the editor of the parenting web site www.yourparentingsolutions.com , offering solutions and inspiration you can use every day to create the family of your dreams. She specializes in helping families nurture the parent-child relationships that protect today's kids. Dr. Markham lives in New York with her husband, eleven year old daughter, and fifteen year old son. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Nine Ways to Help Children to Cope With Loss and Grief By Sally Sacks www.sallysacks.com The biggest problem children have in coping with their grief is the inattention and lack of awareness adults have in the need to talk about it, express all kinds of feelings around it, and to help children to find a way to compensate for the loss. Often parents are ill equipped to deal with grief in their children, because they have a hard time dealing with it themselves. For example many stoic type families just held it in, enforcing the need to be strong. If you grew up in a family like this you would have no outlet to express your feelings. It would not be welcome and you would know it, so you hold your feelings in. These people become parents and the cycle is repeated. If you let the feelings out, it's healthy, normal, and gives you a place to build from. Naturally, if you express your grief, you need to know where to go with it next, and again if you are a parent, you need to know how to direct your child. I have dealt with many kids who have no way to connect to their deceased parent. I ask them how they keep their mom or dad's spirit alive, or keep a relationship with them, and they say they don't know. They are unaware that the relationship and image of another in your thoughts and in your memory never dies. The body dies, but the spirit does not. It is so strange how people can believe in and connect to a God that they have never personally witnessed or seen, but those same people can't connect to a person they actually saw, knew existed and loved. People all over the world connect to the spirit of God, regardless of the lack of empirical evidence. They can believe in what's told to them to believe, but can't make the connection on their own. Children need to learn to make a spiritual connection. They need to find ways to talk with their deceased loved one. Parents have to guide kids on this one, no matter what their age. I had a young girl recently who lost her dad, and was unable to talk about him, even though I asked lots of questions. It was too painful. She needed to let her feelings out. She was channeling her feelings out in the wrong direction, being needy with boys, and always angry at her mom. When we worked together, and I helped her to understand that her dad's spirit was alive, around her and in her. She began to think differently. She slowly began to focus on memories of her dad, and what he had given her, rather than focus outside herself. She became connected to him again in a new and different way, but a way that worked. She expressed her anger at him for dying and leaving her. He was so good at so many things that he could have taught her, and wasn't there. She expressed her sadness at his terrible suffering from cancer, and the anger at how it destroyed him. No one could talk about it because it was too sad, and that made her feel even more alone. After she got the real feelings out we could work on keeping her memory alive with her dad. If you are a parent dealing with a child who has lost someone dear and you have too, get help for yourself and help your child. Here are nine things you can do. Don't think that you need to go to a cemetery to express yourself to loved ones. If you teach spiritual development you are aware that the person doesn't live in the cemetery. They live in you heart and mind which are with you everywhere. You want to keep that memory alive by carrying out behaviors of the person. Create a tangible reminder that you can see everyday. Keep their favorite item in your closet, or favorite picture in your room. Dedicate a sculpture or statue or flower arrangement in your house to them. Plant a tree in your yard for them, or a flower. Take a balloon and attach letters to them and let it fly free to the universe. Write to them in a special journal only for them and your private communication to them. Wear something that they liked to school. Order their favorite meal, or make their favorite cake on their birthday. You can even take a piece of cake and bottle of wine to the cemetery or their favorite place on their birthday, If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. Always talk to children about their deceased loved one, reminding them of how they are like that parent or have such good qualities like them. If they are sad, disconnected or don't answer, that's ok keep doing it. Get help with yourself for the loss, and dealing with it if you are having trouble helping your children. If you don't get help for yourself you will not be able to help your children with the things that they need to do to keep their loved ones spirit alive. Teach children to live consciously, day by day in the moment. Life is short and we don't want to miss connecting to anyone that we love, dead or alive. Sally Sacks, M.Ed is a licensed psychotherapist, with 20 years of experience, counseling individuals, children, families and couples. Sally is the author of How to Raise the Next President , a groundbreaking parents' guide to teaching and instilling in their kids the qualities they'll need to be happy, successful and productive, no matter which path they choose in life. Sally offers personal and group coaching and can be reached through her website at www.sallysacks.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Ten Tips for a Peaceful Holiday Season: Helping Kids Relax By Patti Teel www.PattiTeel.com Kids get pretty anxious over the holidays. It's a time of excitement and wonder, and they often have a hard time relaxing, staying calm and sleeping well. Here are some tips to help your kids stay relaxed and on a healthy sleep schedule. Don't overschedule your children. Cut back on the tasks and activities which are likely to overwhelm them. For example, avoid long trips to the mall with young children; short spurts of shopping will be more fun for everyone. Don't try to change your child's temperament; accept that he or she may be naturally timid and soft-spoken, or boisterous and loud. An activity level that might be comfortable for one child could be overwhelming for another-even in the same family. Have activity-based celebrations. For instance, spend time with children making cards, decorations, cookies and gifts. You may wish to let each child select one activity for the whole family to do over the holidays. Have children stay physically active. Don't allow busy holiday schedules to crowd out active play time. Physical activity is one of the simplest and most effective ways to reduce stress and ensure that a child gets a good night's sleep. Children should have at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity every day. (However, vigorous activities should not be done within several hours of bedtime because it raises the metabolic rate and may make it difficult for your child to relax. When possible, have your children play outdoors. Exposure to daytime sunlight helps children to sleep better at night. Teach your children relaxation skills such as stretching, progressive relaxation, deep breathing and guided visualization. Relaxation can be a delightful form of play and it's easy to incorporate the holidays in imaginative ways. For example, play a relaxing game of "Santa Says." Direct children to stretch and relax by curling up like a snowball, to move their arms and legs slowly in and out like a snow angel, or to open their mouths widely to catch snowflakes. Banish bedtime fears and help kids put worries to bed. Make a ceremony out of putting worries or fears away for the night. Have children pretend, or actually draw a picture of what's bothering them. Fold, (or pretend to fold) the worry or fear until it's smaller and smaller. Then put it away in a box and lock it with a key. It's often helpful for older children and teens to list their worries in a journal before putting them away for the night. Make your home a sanctuary from the overstimulation of the outside world by making family "quiet time" a part of every evening. * Limit total screen time, including computer games, video games and time spent watching television. Advertisements scandalously target children and the more they watch, the more they soak up the commercial messages of the season...instead of the real spirit of the holidays. Tell or read inspiring holiday stories. Sing and listen to soothing holiday music. Give each other a gentle massage. Maintain the bedtime routine. While routines are likely to be thrown off during the holidays, it's important to maintain a consistent bedtime, allowing plenty of time for a relaxed bedtime routine. Don't let holiday parties or activities interfere with your child getting a good night's sleep. Instill compassion and encourage generosity. Provide opportunities for your children to help others. Opportunities abound: have your child draw pictures and help bake and deliver food, encourage them to donate some or their clothes, toys or books; or regularly visit an elderly person who needs companionship. Read or tell stories that emphasize giving. Perform simple rituals to symbolize your care for others. Light a candle as you and your children send your good wishes or say a prayer for those who are in need. Instill appreciation and gratitude. It's not possible to be upset and worried while feeling appreciative. Share good things that happened during your day and have your child do the same. They don't need to be major events; emphasize actions that demonstrate the blessings of the season. It could be a hug, words of love, the sound of the birds in the morning or a beautiful snowfall. Depending on your beliefs, you may wish to incorporate prayers of appreciation and thankfulness. About the author: Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book , which gives parents techniques to help their children relax, deal with stress, or fall asleep. Visit Patti online at www.pattiteel.com/ to subscribe to her free newsletter. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

What Really Keeps New Parents from Sleeping By Anh Vazquez www.littlegrad.com As if the new nocturnal feedings weren't enough to keep them from out of REM state, new parents have a host of other concerns on their minds. A recent survey released by Little Grad, the Saving for College company revealed how varying scary thoughts affect parents. The survey asked parents to rank 10 factors in order of which one they worried the most about. The most worrisome, on a 1-10 scale was job security (3.48), followed by saving for retirement (3.75) and dying before their children grow up (4.30). The ability to afford their children's educational needs (4.48) rounded out the top four. The issues parents worry about less than saving for college include crime (5.05), the environment (5.20), rising gas prices (6.73), the amount of time their kids spend watching TV or playing video games (6.84), the threat of terrorism (7.27), and lastly, traffic (7.64). In looking at this list, it was interesting to note that there are two categories of worry; those they have little control over and those that are mostly within their influence. By looking at the worries in these two categories, it helps to map out a plan for alleviating them, and finding more restful peace of mind. Frightening, but 'out there' Terrorism, crime, environment, gas prices, traffic, violent video games... while things undoubtedly affect our lives, and will impact our children's futures, they are largely, beyond any family's ability to control, and therefore don't have the 'wake you up in a cold sweat' factor. That being said, there are things that individuals and families can and should do to address these causes of stress. Discuss responsible citizenship. Schools encourage students to discuss issues like terrorism, environmental concerns, crime. Parents should actively consider and discuss these items as well, so that a family has a jointly developed sense of identity and values. Find ways to support ideals. If the family is stressed by high gas prices or traffic, this can be a call to make a change - whether that means buying a hybrid vehicle, finding carpool partners or changing jobs. Even if you don't take any actions immediately, considering your options is good for mental health. Practice healthy escapism. A lot of worries come from the TV set or sitting in traffic. Finding family time in nature, or at someplace where you can connect and relax can put the world back in perspective. It could happen to us Parents keenly feel the new responsibility a child brings into their lives, and this drives job, financial and health insecurity in a new and powerful way. It may take some time to develop new habits, but once done, the effects on a parents stress levels can be remarkable. Financial planning. Whether it is sitting down with the monthly bills and checking account, or visiting a financial planner, taking a level headed look at expenses, and comparing them with how they are aligned with your aspirations can help to keep nagging doubts at bay. This should be done at least once a year to keep pace with the changes of a growing family. Part of this exercise should include a discussion of wills and guardianship of children. Mortality is of concern to parents, and discussing it can take away its mental power over your dreams. Stepping up savings. When they look at their income and spending, most families would agree that they could and should be directing more money towards savings. This would help alleviate the stresses related to job security, retirement and saving for college. Focus on family health. Eating and exercise, making time for checkups, scheduling 'mental health time' - all these things can remarkably lower stress, and set a great example of a healthy lifestyles that kids will adopt as their own. Enjoy your sleep A full night's sleep is one of those things that you cannot fully appreciate until you have had it interrupted. To care for a new baby (or even a sick child) is tiring, but worth the exertion. Losing sleep over worries is perhaps unavoidable, but steps can be taken. To figure out why you are losing sleep, many experts recommend keeping a notebook and pen by your bed. This will help to find any issues that are hidden in the new parent haze, as well as helping you back to sleep once you've written the "must remember to go" item on it, that is assuming you can read your own handwriting in the morning. Anh Vazquez, CEO of LittleGrad.com, earned a Master's degree from Stanford University and a Bachelor's degree from Carnegie Mellon University. After spending over ten years working for leading companies such as Intel, Netscape, and Wal-Mart, Anh's career interests shifted when she became the mother of two children. Anh drew on her experience as a senior executive at Wal-Mart's fastest growing division (Walmart.com) when she decided to start LittleGrad.com, a free service that helps parents save for their children's college education. LittleGrad.com has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, San Francisco Chronicle, and Money magazine. For more information please visit www.littlegrad.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Back to School Stresses: 4 Tips to Conquer Them By Anh Vazquez www.littlegrad.com As we drop our children at their classrooms, or watch them hop on the bus, or out of our minivans, thoughts race through our minds... will they eat a healthy lunch, did we spend enough time on their homework... are they making friends.. are we budgeting/saving enough for their future education... and so on. A recent survey from Little Grad, the Saving for College company, asked parents about the things that stress them out at back to school time. Time Stress. Not surprisingly, the leader of the list was having enough time in the day to attend to homework, get to activities on time, and not feel as if we were always running behind. Surprisingly, this was a top concern even amongst parents of pre-schoolers! Tip: It's a mixed blessing, having so many enriching activities to pick from. In your child's early years it is tempting to want to let them try a variety to see where their gifts lie. But once the kindergarten/elementary years start, and homework happens, a family needs to reevaluate their schedules. My recommendation is one activity per week, per child. Money Stress. Parents primarily think of educational expenses in reference to putting money aside to plan for college costs - as well they should - but there are a number of things that can cause financial stress. Many parents underestimate the expenses of even public schools, such as PTA dues, suggested charitable contributions, and numerous activity fees and that can leave a family's budget strained at the end of each month. Tip: Recognize that a child entering full time school is a change of phase of life - one that requires a sit down and re-set of a families monthly spending and priorities. If the family hasn't put in place some sort of saving plan for college, this is a great time to get started, whether that means starting an account, increasing the monthly automatic contribution, or looking into reward programs to add more to it. Also, recognize that the school community is an ongoing part of your life. If it adds value to your family, you will want to prepare to play your part financially. Health Stress. I remember the first week of pre-school when my daughter brought back her lunch, nearly untouched. I was worried she was going to faint from hunger, and that I didn't know how to pack a proper lunch. (Then I found out they were letting her 'charge' hot lunches... I pulled her credit and the PBnJ lunches started to disappear!) But many times it is hard to determine the right mix of healthy foods that are easy to pack and kids will eat. Tip: Get your child involved in the shopping and the packing of the lunches and snacks. You need your child to understand what a good balance of "go" and "slow" foods will make their bodies and minds feel strong all day long. You'll also learn interesting facts like which snacks are the easiest to eat while swinging from monkey bars. Clueless Stress. A new element of uncertainty comes into our lives when our children start making friends on their own. They talk about things their new friends do, say and believe, and you will see that you are not the leading opinion setter in your children's lives. It is unsettling, especially as these new ideas are often different from the attitudes and beliefs you have been raising them with. Tip: Invite these new influences into your home after school or a sleepover, or to meet somewhere neutral like a park for a play date. Get to know the parents and see what they are all about and why your kids are so drawn to them. Spending time with the friends also gives them the chance to get to know you - and to benefit from your thoughts, ideas and high spirits. Fear not, stress less. As you enter a new phase of life, you'll be given new chances to grow with your children. When something causes you stress, take a deep breath, and step into the unknown with humility and bravery. You made it through the diapers and the twos... you can do anything! Anh Vazquez, CEO of LittleGrad.com, earned a Master's degree from Stanford University and a Bachelor's degree from Carnegie Mellon University. After spending over ten years working for leading companies such as Intel, Netscape, and Wal-Mart, Anh's career interests shifted when she became the mother of two children. Anh drew on her experience as a senior executive at Wal-Mart's fastest growing division (Walmart.com) when she decided to start LittleGrad.com, a free service that helps parents save for their children's college education. LittleGrad.com has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, San Francisco Chronicle, and Money magazine. For more information please visit www.littlegrad.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Don't Spook Kids By Giving Non-Nutritious Candy This Halloween! Hand Out Fun, Glow-in-the-Dark Objects, Stickers, Other Party Favors Instead By Connie Bennett www.SugarShockBlog.com Adults, don't fall into the candy-giving trap this Halloween when those adorable, costume-clad kids ring your doorbell. Handing out those traditional blood-sugar bouncing "treats" is a "tricky" proposition. All that candy could send your neighbor's kids into SUGAR SHOCK!-which means you could contribute to their getting all kinds of health and emotional problems. You certainly don't want to do anything that could help make these innocent children become angry, moody, depressed, tired, wired, sleepless, unfocused, or fat from those sugary foods, right? This Halloween, choose fun alternatives instead. There's no limit to the options. You could give out all kinds of fun, age-appropriate doodads and gizmos, such as: Glow-in-the-dark insects, spooky fingers and other objects Halloween-themed stickers, pencils, temporary tattoos, or other toys Holiday chalk, crayons, colored pencils, pens or animal-shaped erasers Rubber worms, spiders, or other creepy figures Non-Halloween-themed party favors such as hair clips, hair bands, scrunchies, plastic bracelets and rings (for girls). Party favors such as engine whistles, key chains, pens, and stickers. (For boys or girls). Rest assured, too: Kids will like your creative Halloween-giving ideas. In fact, researchers found that these non-candy favors can be a big hit. One study from Yale University revealed that half of the 284 trick-or-treaters aged 3 to 14 didn't want lollipops, fruit-flavored chews, or hard candies. Yeah, instead they preferred such toys as glow-in-the-dark insects, stretch pumpkin men, or Halloween-themed stickers and pencils. If you still insist on giving out food, try giving trick-or-treaters small, pre-packaged: Almonds or walnuts (Stay away from peanuts since some children are allergic to them.) Shelled sunflower seeds or pistachios Raisins (Although these are high in natural sugar, they're far preferable to candy.) Bottled water (Yeah, kids will be thirsty from all that trick-or-treating door to door!) So this Halloween, forego those nutrient-lacking candies. Decide to do something nice for your neighborhood's kids and instead give out something fun or at least more healthy. Connie Bennett is an experienced journalist (Los Angeles Times, TV Guide, cbs.com, etc.) and former, dedicated "sugar addict," who reluctantly quit sugar and refined carbs on doctor's orders in 1998. She now laughingly pokes fun of herself as a "Scary Sugar Shrew No More!" - see her fun cartoons at /www.sugarshock.com/cartoons.shtml . These days, Connie is regarded as a sought-after "Savvy Sugar Sleuth," who playfully and seriously educates people about the dangers of sugar and culprit carbs, which could include mood swings, depression, anger, "brain fog," and, of course, weight gain, and she helps "sugar sufferers" to break free from their dangerous habit. Connie is author of the engaging, engrossing book SUGAR SHOCK! (Berkley Books, Dec. 26, 2006); founder of an international KickSugar support group; founder of the award-winning SUGAR SHOCK! Blog ( www.SugarShockBlog.com ); a featured contributor to eDiets.com; a certified holistic health counselor; and a popular speaker. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Helping Kids Overcome Their Fears and Phobias By Patti Teel www.pattiteel.com Children love the fantasy and fun of dressing up in costumes and Halloween is usually an exciting and fun event for them. During October, however, the television networks begin running their annual horror flicks. Remember, young children still have trouble differentiating real life from make believe and many scary movies should be "off limits." A number of children have developed deeply rooted fears from watching movies that were too adult and scary. It can also be upsetting for children to see adults wearing terrifying masks or costumes. So enjoy the whimsy of the Halloween holiday but protect kids from the scary sights and sounds that could upset them. By nature, some children seem to have more fears than others. When the word "fear" is used correctly, it refers to the feeling experienced in response to a tangible danger, such as a speeding car or an angry dog. "Phobias" are excessive or exaggerated fears of specific objects or situations. Common childhood fears (or phobias) include a fear of the dark, dogs, heights, spiders, and storms. Jean Piaget is well known for his research regarding children's cognitive development. He calls ages two to four the "preoperational period" of development. It is characterized by reason being dominated by perception. This explains why preschoolers are often afraid of the dark and imaginary creatures such as monsters. Piaget's research revealed that around the age of six or seven, children's thinking begins to become more logical. Not surprisingly, around this age, children usually lose their fear of imaginary creatures but may become worried about other types of things such as school performance and social relationships. Encourage your children to tell you about their fears. If your child's fear is having a negative impact on his life, there are steps you can take to help your child overcome it early on. Many adult fears begin in childhood Completely avoiding feared objects and activities tends to increase rather that diminish the level of fear associated with them. We can see many examples of this-a fear of drowning is not likely to lessen by avoiding water; a fear of flying is not going to go away by avoiding airplanes; and a fear of school is not going to go away by allowing a child to stay home. Children often generalize their fears For example, a child is likely to think that all dogs are mean and unfriendly after a frightening experience with just one dog. A friendly golden retriever may happily approach a child with his tail wagging, but the child with a fear of dogs is likely to perceive the dog as a mean animal that is coming to attack. If a fear is not overcome, a child may begin to generalize it further and develop phobias about other types of animals in addition to dogs. Some fears must be confronted and dealt with because they will interfere with a child's daily life. Other phobias may not have to be confronted very often. Even when that is the case, beware that you can unwittingly teach your children to have the same phobias that you have. My husband and I have a rat phobia. I have generalized my fear to include opossums, hamsters, gerbils, and other rodents. Years ago, when we had a pet rabbit, he could even give me the creeps! While it seemed to me that I was only being a conscientious mother by passing along the dangers of rats to my daughter, when she screamed and came running out of her first-grade classroom in a panic because the teacher had a pet rat, I realized that I had probably overdone it. Much more so than the actual events themselves, children's reactions to fear and anxiety will affect the quality of their lives, both emotionally and physically. Their response can lead to personal growth, or it can impair that emotional growth. When children respond to the emotions of fear and anxiety by becoming stressed, it can affect their ability to be happy and experience pleasure. Because we cannot control all of the things that will happen in our children's lives, it's important for us to help them learn healthy ways to cope. Reactions to fear can include: shortness of breath, fast breathing, a racing heart, a tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, butterflies in the stomach, lightheadedness, dizziness, shaking, trembling, tingling feelings, a surreal feeling that things seem strange and tightening muscles. Steps to overcoming fears and phobias: Learn relaxation and self-calming skills such as progressive relaxation, breathing techniques, and visualization. Desensitize your child. By gradually exposing your children to their fears, you will be helping them to take progressive steps toward overcoming them. Clear up misconceptions. Many fears are based on misconceptions. For instance, many children are afraid of thunder, but if you explain what it is the fear will begin to give way to curiosity. Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book , which gives parents techniques to help their children relax, deal with stress, or fall asleep. Her innovative book also includes a section on ways to combat children's fears, phobias, and anxiety. Visit Patti online to subscribe to her free newsletter and learn more about her book at www.pattiteel.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Handling Homework Excerpt from The Floppy Sleep Game Book , by Patti Teel www.pattiteel.com Limited amounts of homework in the primary grades may be beneficial; however, it should not be excessive, especially in the lower grades. The amount of homework assigned varies greatly from school to school and from teacher to teacher. As a rule of thumb, the National Education Association and the Parent Teacher Association recommend that children in elementary school spend approximately ten minutes of homework per grade. For instance, a first grader would be expected to do 10 minutes of homework while a fifth grader would spend 50 minutes. However, the time it takes to complete homework will depend on a child's ability to buckle down and concentrate, his ability to do the work, and his level of perfectionism. What one child might complete in 20 minutes could very well take another child an hour. If you feel as if your child is unduly overloaded with homework that is either too difficult or lengthy, don't try to solve the problem by doing his work. While it's difficult for parents to see their child frustrated by inappropriate homework, doing too much of your child's work is likely to lead to an overly dependent child who may be convinced that he cannot accomplish anything on his own. Most teachers are willing to individualize homework assignments if a child is truly struggling. If your child has a learning disability that is interfering with his ability to complete the homework, or is a perfectionist who spends an inordinate amount of time doing it, work closely with your child's teacher. Oftentimes, the work may be appropriate, but because your child either processes more slowly or is a perfectionist, it takes an excessive amount of time for him to complete it. If this is the case, see if your child can be assigned a shorter version of the same assignment. That way, he will still be learning the same things as the other students. If the work itself is too difficult, your child should be given a more appropriate assignment. Each child is an individual and sometimes what works for most, won't work for all. One of the purposes of homework is to begin to teach responsibility and for it to serve its purpose, a child must receive appropriate homework assignments. In the upper elementary grades, other issues may determine the amount of homework a child brings home. While some children use all their spare time at school to complete homework, others bring it home because they are not applying themselves at school. Also, teachers begin to give their students longer assignments, expecting children to budget their time and work all week towards completing it. This leads to problems for a child who procrastinate and attempts to complete a week-long assignment in a single night. If your child has a tendency to put off his homework until the last minute, you need to be aware of his assignments. That way, you can help him to consistently chip away at a large project. Be aware that projects which require a great deal of planning and organization may be particularly difficult for a child with ADHD. Often, their problems become more noticeable in the upper grades when organization becomes more of an issue. If your child is frequently misplacing his papers and is generally unorganized, help him to set up a system to keep his papers organized. Don't allow excessive homework to interfere with your child's sleepRemember, getting a good night's sleep is the most important assignment of all! Have a set time and place for homework. Have your child do his homework early enough in the evening so that he will have some down time before bed. Set up a spot for your child to complete his homework that is well lit, quiet and away from the television. Be available to help your child with his homework if he has questions, but don't do your child's work. Appropriate homework is a lesson in responsibility. Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book, which gives parents techniques to help their children relax, deal with stress or fall asleep. Patti holds Dream Academy workshops at schools, hospitals and libraries across the country where parents and children learn the playful relaxation techniques from her book and widely acclaimed children's audio series. Children at the Dream Academy workshops practice the three R's by resting their bodies, relaxing their minds and refreshing their spirits. Visit Patti online to subscribe to her free newsletter at www.pattiteel.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Seven Ways to Keep our Parents Young By Stephan and Lisa LaCount www.activeadultliving.com What are some things we can do to help keep our parents young? Here are seven ideas to explore, which may slow down the ageing process and help keep your folks sharp and young at heart for years to come... Physical activities are a great way to help keep everyone younger. Even if your parent is housebound or confined to a wheelchair, there are ways to get exercise. My mother-in-law is in her early 80's and still does her Jane Fonda workout tape every morning right in the privacy of her bedroom. My father-in-law is less motivated to do structured exercises, but he does join mom for a daily brisk power walk through a local indoor shopping mall. If your parent has trouble with back, hips or legs then water aerobic exercise may be just the key. Mental exercise is important too! Nowadays, many community colleges and universities offer the opportunity to 'audit' classes (that is, to take the class for personal enrichment and not to earn a grade). Are your folks homebodies and not so social? My mum loves to do crossword puzzles and prides herself on her mental acuity, while my step dad enjoys seemingly endless hours surfing the Internet. Having a proper diet goes hand in hand with the ability to enjoy physical and mental activities. My mum has always been very docile and became very overweight. She's always been passionate about buffet restaurants and gave in to too much food and too many calories. Unfortunately it led to type II diabetes; she still loves the buffets but through self-control and determination she shed 80 pounds and went down 10 dress sizes. My husband and I have tried on several occasions to encourage her to write The Buffet Lover's Diet book (but she's content just to do her crossword puzzles). The bottom line on diet is that a person needs a balance of carbohydrates, proteins and fats, and calorie intake commensurate with their activity level. Of course, vitamins and minerals will likely be recommended by their physician to supplement their diet, and plenty of water every day is crucial, too. Social interaction is wonderful to help them connect with others of similar age and/or interests. Here again, even the housebound can now enjoy social interaction with online chat rooms or blogging. If they are able to get out and about, many seniors find great satisfaction in volunteerism, which provides social interaction as well as a sense of worth. Having a soul mate is a richly fulfilling experience. If your parents are no longer together or one has pre-deceased the other, it's never too late to find love and/or companionship. Even if there's resistance to finding a soul mate, pets make wonderful companions. Environment is an unfortunate necessity to consider these days. Adding years of life or improving one's quality of life must take into consideration how to effectively deal with such 21st century realities as pollution, additives, preservatives, toxins, and even stresses such as terrorism and living in an inflationary world on a fixed income. Obviously, anything that you can do to relieve or diminish your parents exposure to any or all of the environmental factors will certainly add quality, and likely, years of life. Spirituality and the practice of faith is definitely a way to add years to one's life. There are certainly numerous benefits in turning over your cares and worries to a higher power through prayer or mediation. Additionally, the very gathering together with others of your faith to worship provides a forum for social interaction. Stephan and Lisa LaCount are the authors of an exhaustive resource, 1001 Active Lifestyle Communities , which is available through bookstores for or it may be ordered online at the website www.activeadultliving.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>