Smarter Family Management ByKathy Peel www.familymanager.com Being the Family Manager means there#146;s always more than plenty to do#151;and the job starts over every morning. If we don#146;t find ways to handle day-to-day tasks so that everyone, Mom included , is cheerful, relaxed, and organized, we#146;ll struggle just to endure life and never get to enjoy it. How we carry out each twenty-four-hour day can make a difference between a household in constant uproar and one that hums along smoothly. And, there is more at stake than just lost car keys on Monday morning or a missed school play due to unexpected calendar conflicts. Home is where our kids learn how to #147;do#148; life. Consequently, we need smooth-running homes both for sanity#146;s sake and for our kids#146; future success. Every fall year when school starts, moms across the country deal with many of the same issues. Here are common complaints I hear, and solutions that can work for every family. We never have enough time in the morning. Figure out what time everyone has to be out the door and work backwards from there. How long does it typically take each person to get ready? Set a wake-up time that gives each child enough time to wash, dress, eat, do chores, and get out the door#151;then add ten minutes for schedule snags so they won#146;t miss the bus or carpool. Put a clock in every room so everyone is always aware of what time it is. Have one person be in charge of giving family members a ten-minute warning#151;ten minutes before it#146;s time to walk out the door. Every morning there#146;s a tense line at the bathroom door. Design a rotating schedule for the bathroom and assign each child a time. Put a timer in the bathroom so they#146;ll know when their time is up. (Have teenagers get up fifteen minutes earlier than younger siblings since they need more time in the bathroom. Put a makeup mirror in girls#146; bedrooms to free up time for others.) The kids change clothes a lot and we argue over what they want to wear. Ask kids to decide and set clothes out the night before. (Pack away all clothing that doesn't fit and put away out-of-season items to simplify choices.) For children who like to decide in the morning, make decisions easier by hanging all their school clothes in one area of the closet, and build your kids#146; wardrobe on basic color bottoms that will coordinate with a wide variety of tops. Also: Buy socks all of one kind and color for each child. This saves searching for mates. Buy #147;fast#148; clothes#151;shoes with Velcro fasteners, tagless T-shirts, and shirts with ample openings for easy slipping over the head#151;for young children. Buttons, snaps, zippers, and shoelaces slow them down. The kids often forget things, and I have to make extra trips to school. When homework is done the night before, it goes in the backpack and the backpack goes on a hook by the door, along with shoes, rain gear, and gym clothes. Breakfast (if we eat at all) is always fast and furious. Set the table and make as many preparations as you can the night before. Offer a very limited menu of easy-to-prepare but healthy foods. Divide preparation and cleanup chores between family members. Sit down at the table together, even if it#146;s only for four or five minutes, and talk about your children#146;s day. Ask about tests, activities, and if there#146;s anything you need to pick up for them at the store. This is an easy way to show them you care about what#146;s going on their world. Making the day#146;s lunches in the morning just adds to breakfast chaos. Fix tomorrow#146;s sack lunches while you#146;re cleaning up after dinner. The kids come home loaded with papers and information. It#146;s hard to keep up with all the practices, games, and meetings at school. Create a Control Central (a home base of operation) where you can organize and administrate the countless daily details#151;schedules, appointments, invitations, school papers#151;and oversee your family#146;s coming and goings. Kitchen is ideal location. You need a central family calendar, small dry erase board for messages, bulletin board, and an inbox for each child. When kids get home from school, have them unload backpacks right away and put important papers in their in-boxes. Mom or dad go through kids#146; inboxes at night. It#146;s also a good idea to have a 3-ring binder and hole-punch at Control Central to store things like team and homeroom phone lists, class/homework rules, sick day policies, field trip guidelines, etc. I end up doing all the work. I want my husband and kids to be more helpful. Create a morning chore chart kids can follow. Post it at child level on the refrigerator. Have each child check off tasks as he completes them. Have a rule at your house that kids do not get their privileges#151;watching TV, playing computer games, talking on the phone#151;until they fulfill their responsibilities. Stand firm. Carve out some time to talk with your spouse about who does what around the house. Many times men don#146;t know specifically what needs to be done or how to be helpful. Print off a Who#146;s Responsible for What list at familymanager.com to jumpstart the conversation. I#146;m tired of nagging. I would like my kids up to get up and get ready in the morning without yelling. Create a no-play-until-ready rule. Inspire a child by providing a special toy or game to be played with only when he is ready a few minutes early. Create a #147;Sunshine Jar#148; for young children who drag in the morning. Put some change in the jar each day they make progress sticking to the family schedule. Give them the money to spend on a treat the end of the week. Make sure kids get plenty of sleep. Keep to a reasonable schedule for bed preparations and sleep. Don#146;t alter kids#146; schedules much on weekends; they learn a daily rhythm and struggle when it#146;s upset. Set a specific time for younger children to bathe, brush their teeth, and go to bed, so they#146;ll have a sense of daily rhythm. Although they may stay up later n the weekends, don#146;t alter the schedule greatly if you want the school-day routine to be easy to maintain. Enforce a #147;lights out#148; time by installing a timer on kids#146; lights. Let them read or listen to audiobooks until the light goes out. Kathy Peel#146;s latestbook is The Family Manager Saves the Day (Perigee, 2004). To contact Kathy,visit familymanager.com . Permission granted for use on www.DrLaura.com. More >>

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Top 5 Ways Parents Waste Time By Tracy Lyn Moland www.TracyLynMoland.com Disorganization #150; searching for keys, library books or mittens can take up a great deal of time. Find sensible homes for everything. Perfectionism #150; there is a huge increase of time spent doing something perfect over excellent. Focus on making sure things are well done not perfect. Details #150; we live in a time when we are lucky to have so many options available to us. This can also be incredibly overwhelming. Try to limit your options to 3 -5 choices. Take advantage of opinions of experts and friends. Hidden time #150; when we pay attention to how long things actually take we can plan accordingly. A one hour workout at a gym can take two hours if you consider travel and preparation time. Procrastination- we often spend more time thinking about what we have to do than it takes just to do it. If you catch yourself procrastinating, ask yourself why you are doing it and then solve that problem. Tracy Lyn Moland is a life management expert and the author of Mom Management, Managing Mom Before Everybody Else (TGOT, 2003). Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

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Help for Poor Handwriting -- Get a Grip on it Now! By Jodie Lynn www.ParentToParent.com What to do if your child#146;s handwriting is a problem. It#146;s OK -- it can get better. Below is an excerpt of a heart-wrenching letter I received from a SAHM: #133;my twins were constantly being "encouraged" by the teachers to work on their handwriting. It literally drove us all to tears. It has taken me all of the summer to get them back on track to even think of the new school year in a positive manner. They are both going to be in the third grade, but to tell you the truth, I am scared to death of what the new school year will bring#133; I recently received the above plea for help from a desperate mom. While it may seem like a small insignificant task to some, the impact of the problem packs a huge whammy on self-confidence for the entire school year. After having taught school for several years, I can sympathize with what the family might have gone through. It is especially devastating to highly sensitive children. First of all, to all of you thousands of parents who have experienced this, and to those of you who may be notified of such a challenge in only a few short weeks, this is a common complaint for elementary children, especially for boys. Why? Children are so into large motor skills, (running, kicking and hitting activities) especially boys, that their fine motor skills in the manual dexterity of the fingers, are just not developed. Girls on the other hand, have a tendency to draw, bead or color, which leads to strengthening these muscles and coordination. The small and precise usage of this specific area leads to better hand writing. Here are some acceptable tips to get your little champion back on the road to not only feeling good about personal self-esteem, but for pure and simple handwriting success. Best of all, these are fun activities and perfect for the SAHM. Beading - Now that it#146;s cool for everyone to wear beaded necklaces - boys don#146;t mind a bit in producing their own choker. Embroidery - If you start now, kids can make special gifts for grandparents or stepparents. Even if it is as simple as adding initials on a towel set or dinner napkins. Drawing - Just about everyone can draw. It doesn#146;t have to be top notch. Start with free hand drawing or painting by numbers. Coloring books - There#146;s really cool coloring books out today and many to them can be about one of your child#146;s favorite TV shows or musical groups. Puzzles - these take time and patience. Begin with smaller ones and move up in the number of pieces. Working on Model Cars - Supervise with glue and paint, otherwise, let the child work on the project in small periods. Working on Model Airplanes - the same tips apply to airplane models or any type as they do to model cars. Having a special place where pieces can be kept out on a flat service making them readily available. Lego's - Anyone and everyone love Lego#146;s and they are perfect for finger/hand/eye coordination. Tracing - Most art stores have an unlimited supply of tracing paper and activities that kids love. Tying and untying shoe laces - Make a game of this by seeing who can tie and untie their shoes the fastest between mom and dad and/or mom and child or vice versa. Button and unbuttoning shirts/tops - When you put away summer clothes or while you are getting donations ready for pick up, ask your children to button all of the clothes: theirs, yours and the rest of the family#145;s clothes. The next week, ask them to undo the buttons. Alternatively, make a game out of it similar to the one for tying shoelaces. Keyboarding - Let your child write emails to grandparents, relatives and friends. You might also suggest that they make up and write poems and/or stories and submit them to online contests. Dialing on a rotary phone -- don#146;t have one - pick one up at the local resale, garage sale or Goodwill store. Call out various numbers and let them dial them with various fingers - not just the normal dialing fingers. The key to optimizing the ultimate success of these activities is to make them fun, not to pressure and not to nag. In fact, don#146;t even mention why they are being done other than praising them for the end result. Never force your child to do an activity for long periods. As soon as you see frustration setting in, switch to another activity and go back to the other ones another day. Jodie Lynn is an internationally syndicated parenting/family columnist. Her latest paperback book is Mommy-CEO , revised edition, Martin-Ola Press. (It's not just for moms!) -- check out her new e-book, "Syndication Secrets" at ParentToParent.com for more details. We now have new Mommy, CEO merchandise and logo! copy;2004 Jodie Lynn. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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How to Start a Toddlers#146; Playgroup By Christine Louise Hohlbaum www.DiaryofaMother.com Your toddler is into everything, and the day feels longer than Rapunzel#146;s hair. How do you keep your little one occupied in a constructive and fun manner? Start a toddlers#146; playgroup! You don#146;t need much in terms of materials, but you will need a space big enough to accommodate the number of children in the group. Too many children in too small of an area can lead to disaster. Ask your local church, synagogue, or community center for a two-hour slot in their building. Make certain that there are enough toys and books for the children to use. If you need participants, advertise in your local parents paper. Oftentimes, parents papers offer free advertising for private groups. You might just be surprised at how many people respond to your ad. They#146;ve probably wanted to start a group themselves and didn#146;t know how! Organizing the playgroup can be simple if you follow a few ground rules. Always start the group in a circle with a few songs of introduction. "My name is Sarah, my name is Sarah, what#146;s your name? What#146;s your name?" is a great song to begin your playgroup. It helps the leader get familiar with each child#146;s name. Next, allow for some free play for the children. Oftentimes, the children are distracted by the unfamiliar toys in the room. Give them plenty of free time to play with the "new" toys and to interact with the other children. Allot 30 minutes for free play. Singing the clean-up song helps teach children that it is time to put away the toys and start another activity. They also learn to help their parents clean up, instead of letting them do it by themselves! Giving the children a snack before craft time is helpful. They are more likely to participate if their tummies are full. Provide a brief, healthful snack (such as fruit or cheese). Once that is cleaned up, you can opt to do a simple craft project or read a story. I like to emphasize literacy even in the smallest of children. Using oversized books of classics such as "Good Night, Moon" or "Runaway Bunny" is helpful with a large group of children. Make sure to ask the children questions as you read along. Even if they do not respond, your diversified tone more likely will hold their attention. Singing songs in which the children are engaged is the most fun. "Old MacDonald," "Itsy Bitsy Spider," and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" are some examples. Borrow a children#146;s songbook from your local library for other ideas. At the end of the playgroup, you can signal that it is time to leave by singing a goodbye song, again in a circle. It helps ease the transition out of the room for toddlers who have a hard time leaving places, and it is a nice way to end a playgroup session. Now go out there, gather your friends and their kids, and have some fun! Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff, has been published in hundreds of publications and appeared on numerous radio programs. When she isn#146;t writing, leading toddler playgroups or wiping up messes, she prefers to frolic in the Bavarian countryside near Munich where she lives with her husband and two children. Visit her Web site: http://www.DiaryofaMother.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Mom ManagementTM by Tracy Lyn Moland, Author of Mom Management, Managing Mom Before Everybody Else http://www.MomManagement.com For me, Mom Management TM holds a number of meanings, with Managing Mom Before Everybody Else TM being most important. I have always felt that being a Mom is a lot like being a manager. The skills we use to run our homes are very similar to skills used to run a business. Regardless of our individual circumstances, we share a common bond - that of being a Mother. Being a Mom is an incredible experience but it is also very consuming. We have all experienced an incredible change from our pre-mother lives. Most of these changes are very positive but one that we all have trouble dealing with is a loss of our sense of self. At some point, we realize that we have let being a Mom become our entire identity. When my children were two and four years old, I realized that Tracy Lyn was missing. In tears, I realized I had lost my sense of self. In looking for myself, I decided to try doing a triathlon, thus setting one goal. Wow! The focus of that one goal, one thing just for me, re-established my sense of self. That initial goal led to five more triathlons, becoming an entrepreneur, a professional speaker, and now an author. During the long process of finding my true self again, I also became a better Mother. As I realized, being a Mom is not who we are, but rather one of the many other roles that we fill in our lives. The term Mom Management was created as a reminder that the Me in Mommeee still exists, and needs to be nurtured. Flying provides us with the perfect analogy. At the beginning of each flight, we are told that, #147;If flying with children, make sure to secure your own oxygen mask first and then secure theirs.#148; As a Mom, we need to take care of ourselves first so that we can better meet the needs of our families. Rather than put ourselves second we need to secure our oxygen masks first. When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others. Eda LeShan Knowing we need to care for ourselves and doing it are very different things. As Moms, we feel that we are being selfish if we take the extra time to pay better attention to our own needs. However, it is not selfishness but an absolute necessity for Moms to be cared for. By taking time to explore their dreams and determining their priorities, Moms have the chance to learn to manage themselves and become their own friend! Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be a friend with anyone else in the world. Eleanor Roosevelt #147;Excerpted from Mom Management, Managing Mom Before Everybody Else copy;2004 Tracy Lyn Moland. Used with permission of The Gift of Time. All rights reserved. http://www.MomManagement.com #148; Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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