A Penny For My Thoughts By Cheryl Gochnauer "That woman can pinch a penny 'til it bleeds!" It's true -- I've learned a lot about stretching our family's finances sinceI decided to become a stay-at-home mom. I seldom shop without coupons, or buy something that's not on sale. Sunday papers only get purchased if they contain enough usable coupons topay for them. Eyeing everything from sale flyers to adjustable interest rates, my internalprice-checker/comparison shopper is constantly on auto-pilot, ready tosnatch the best deal on anything we need. I'm trying to teach my girls a healthy respect for money, too. Notice Isaid "respect", not "love". The love of money can be just as destructivefor people who don't have much as for those who are swimming in it. My husband, Terry, and I recently started giving the kids an allowance.Instead of a fixed amount, we decided to give them a percentage of Terry'sweekly paycheck. Half their allowance is saved, 10% goes to charity, andthe rest is theirs to spend as they like. I'm sorry we waited so long to let them handle money. Karen and Carrie lovepassing wadded dollar bills to the cashier or clinking coins in the offeringplate. Plus, the experience of earning a paycheck is teaching the girlsresponsibility, while freeing me up from some housework. Maybe they'lllearn to use towels more than once after folding the mountain they createeach week! I read a great idea in a local parenting newsletter. Chores are written onscraps of paper and placed in a container. Every day, the child takes threeslips from the container and performs two of the designated tasks. He'sallowed to put one slip back. To earn an extra dime or so, he can do thethird chore, if he desires. Great! This gives the child some control, but still gets jobs done. I likeit. I think I'll go make up some slips right now. Let's see...setting thetable...vacuuming their room...changing the oil -- wait, that'sTerry...sweeping the kitchen... This could be a pretty good deal for me. Why didn't I think of this sooner?With the new shared chore schedule, there'll be more time to do fun stuff,like: Going to the movies (discount matinees); Teeing off at the local miniature golf course (2 for 1 coupons); Visiting the zoo (on Tuesdays, when it's only a dollar); and Jaunting to the ice cream shop. (Dutch treat, of course. Hey, they get anallowance!) (Cheryl Gochnauer's brand-new " Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice on Parenting,Finances, Career, Surviving Each Day More " is out. Catch it at yourfavorite bookstore, in Dr. Laura's Reading Corner or order an autographed copy for $13.99 fromcheryl@homebodies.org. Copyright 2002 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com) More >>

I Think I Can...I Think I Can...I Think I Can... By Patti Chadwick patti@parentsandteens.com www.parentsandteens.com Remember the story about the little train that took the risk and tried tomake it up that HUGE hill? It was daunting, but it kept telling itself,"I think I can...I think I can...I think I can..." - and it found outthat it could! We had a similar experience, but this time it involved my daughter, Jeni, riding IN a train! According to my 16-year-old daughter, life is an adventure. This past weekend we moved into new territory and she had herself a grand old time being an independent woman. My daughter has always loved going to Delta Lake, her favorite Christian camp ( www.deltalake.com - incase you are interested!). Since the 4th grade it has been the highlight of her summer. This year she was old enough to apply for a job there - and she got the position. She will be attending her own camp plus working two weeks as a counselor. She also had to attend 4 day orientation over the Memorial Day weekend. "How nice for her," you may be saying. But did I mention that this camp was about three hours from our home? You can do the math - 12 hours of driving over Memorial Day weekend, plus another 36 hours of driving during the summer. While my young lady was thrilled about the plans for her summer - Mom wasn't quite as ecstatic. The thought of driving for 12 hours for four weeks of my summer was not very appealing, yet I did want her to have this experience. So what's a mamma to do? I started thinking - "How can I get her there WITHOUT me driving her?" I checked bus schedules...no luck.I asked around to see if anyone else was going to swap rides with...no luck. Then I thought of the train. Sure enough - there was a train station about an hour from here that went right to Rome, NY (where Delta Lake is located). The price was reasonable and the camp director said they'd be glad to pick her up. I thought it was a great idea, but I was a bit worried. Sweetie has never traveled alone before. Was she ready? I asked her about how she'd feel about taking the train and she thought it would be a splendid adventure. So we went on the Internet, bought the tickets, and waited for the Memorial Day weekend. As the time for her departure neared, darling daughter got a little nervous. She'd be ALL alone on the train for three hours. What if the people on the train were "creepy"? What if the camp forgot to pick her up? Valid questions. I tried to prepare her the best I could. I gave her my cell phone so she could call me if she wanted...or the camp...or 911! I sent her with extra money incase she missed her train and had to buy a new ticket or needed to take a cab. We tried to think of everything. The day finally came. Jeni was excited, but a bit overwhelmed by her sudden independence. As we sat waiting for the train to arrive she made an amazing statement to me. Now you need to know that this is the same girl who has reminded me since the day of her sixteenth birthday of how she is now ALMOST seventeen! She said to me, "Mom, I can't believe you are letting me do this. I'm ONLY 16 you know!" I had to laugh. I hugged her and told her I knew she'd be fine. I'd never let her go if I didn't think she could handle it. That seemed to give her some confidence. If I thought she could handle it, well, she COULD handle it. The train pulled into the station and she boarded. I was hoping she'd get a window seat so I could wave good-bye. My eyes scanned the windows looking for her, but they were tinted and I couldn't see in too well. Right as the trained pulled away I spotted her. There was my oh, so grown-up daughter waving frantically and blowing her mamma a kiss. Priceless. Just in case you are wondering, the trip was a success. The camp picked her up and dropped her off on time and I was there waiting for her when the train pulled into the station. My daughter got on thatfirst train a nervous teenager, but she walked off that homebound train a confident young woman. I love this stage of parenting. Yes, it can be scary, but in order togrow you sometimes have to step outside your comfort zone. And we need to teach our kids that too. You know, I think my daughter is right, lifeIS an adventure. I'm so glad to be a part of hers. Patti Chadwick is a SAHM of three teenagers. Visit herwebisites at www.parentandteens.com and www.historyswomen.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Managing The Costs Of Moving By Cheryl Gochnauer I am a habitual coupon-cutter. That means I apply the same penny-pinchingprinciples no matter what I've got my eye on, whether it is marked $10 or$100,000. My family is in the process of moving into a new home. This is undeniablythe biggest big-ticket item we've ever purchased, but my guidelines remainthe same: Get the best deal on everything from the mortgage to the welcomemat. Here are some suggestions on managing the costs of moving. TRY FSBO. By reading up on the subject and working closely with our titlecompany, Terry and I went the "for sale by owner" route and saved severalthousand dollars in commission fees. At the same time, we worked with anexcellent buyer's agent to find our new home (a no-cost convenience for us -sellers pay her fee). Even if you decide to list with a realtor, try tonegotiate a lower percentage. For instance, you might agree to do themarketing (running ads, showing your house, getting a contract) and pay therealtor half commission to handle the ensuing paperwork and closing. BUY SMART. Is that fixer-upper really a good deal? Maybe. But figure ineverything you'll have to do to make it "perfect" (including your time). Also, take a hard look at the neighborhood. Are homes still appreciating invalue? Remember that you'll be selling this house yourself someday. Choosewisely, and your house will make money for you. Choose poorly, and you'lltake a financial bath. If you're buying new, try to get in on the first phase of a development. Asthe second and third phases are built, your home will automatically go up invalue. That's because building costs continue to rise, making it impossiblefor builders to recreate your home for the same price. This is an excellentway to build fast equity. MORTGAGES. Contact several mortgage companies, comparing interest rates andclosing costs. When you find your best deal, call your favorite lender andask them to match or beat it. FURNISHINGS. I spotted my dream refrigerator in the clearance aisle, but ithad a small dent in the side. The price was right, but before I settled forthe dent (even if it wouldn't show once it was installed), I wrote down themodel number and approached a competitor. Sure enough, they agreed to matchthe clearance price. I got the frig I wanted, brand-new and in the box forthe same price as the damaged one. I am a big believer in supporting mom-and-pop businesses whenever possible. So I shopped for several pieces of furniture at discount centers, againnoting model numbers and prices. Then I gave my hometown furniture storethe chance to match their prices. They did, plus threw in free delivery(which saved me another $150). MOVERS. Packing requires you to go through your house and examine everysingle item. Is there a spot for it in the new place? Now is the time toget rid of the dead weight. Toss the junk. Have a garage sale. Give tocharities. Don't pay to move stuff you never use. Rent a trailer and ask friends to help you load. If you use professionalmovers, call around for the best hourly deal. On moving day, make sure you've got everything boxed up and ready to go, so you aren't paying movers towatch you pack. Moving is expensive, no doubt. But hold onto your frugal mindset as youmake your way through the process, and you may be surprised at how much youcan save. (Comments? Contact Cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her website at www.homebodies.org where you can purchase an autographed copy of her new "Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice on Parenting, Finances, Career, Surviving Each Day Much More." Copyright 2002 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.) More >>

Simple Family Field Trip Ideas Copyright 2002 Deborah Taylor-Hough Used with permission. All right reserved. http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/ Family field trips are a simple, fun, and fairly inexpensiveeducational enrichment activity you can enjoy regularlywith your children. Here are some quick ideas to getyou started: Many manufacturing plants offer free tours to families orsmall groups, and any free samples given out make greatsouvenirs when on vacation. Call ahead to find out abouttour availability. Field trips to local attractions such as zoos or aquariumscan be expensive, but purchasing an annual family passpays for itself in just a couple trips. Knowing you can comeback again and again, frees your family to thoroughly enjoythemselves without feeling the need to hurry and see every-thing in one day to get your money's worth out of theadmission price. Return to the same site whenever youwant a family outing, and then buy a pass to a differenteducational attraction next year. If your family enjoys attending live performances, checkfor free concerts, plays and other cultural events in localparks during the summer months. You can also contact college or community performancegroups (drama, ballet, orchestra, etc.) to see if they'llallow you to watch them rehearse for free. Many local theater groups need volunteer ushers fortheir live performances. Volunteering in this manner is anexcellent way for the older members of your family to gainfree admission to a wide variety of cultural events, plus itprovides a useful service to the local arts community. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: --Deborah Taylor-Hough is a full-time mother of three, free-lance writer, and author of the bestselling book, "FrozenAssets: How to cook for a day and eat for a month." Available In The Dr. Laura Reading Corner Shealso edits the Bright-Kids email newsletter. To subscribeto this free resource for fun and easy educational ideasfor the bright kids in your life, join-bright-kids@ds.xc.org Visit Debi online at: http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/ More >>

The Power of One: Confessions of a Cultural Vigilante I#146;ll never forget the day I decided to become a #147;cultural vigilante.#148; I was driving with my two little boys in the back seat. My eldest son, then 7 years old, tried out his new reading skills on a billboard we passed. #147;Look, Mommy,#148; he said. #147;It says, #145;Get your butt in here.#146;#148; He and his 5-year-old brother tittered at the language. They were not allowed to use vulgar language at home, yet here on the street, it hit us smack in the face.The billboard was intentionally provocative. It revealed a bare-bellied young woman with jeans unzipped halfway down. I was incensed. I felt that this kind of advertising was an assault not only on my children#146;s innocence, but also on the standards of decency that our culture once adhered to. Over the years, we have become accustomed to increasingly explicit and coarse images and slogans from magazines, radio, television, movies, and retailers. We cannot erase what we have seen or heard. A steady diet of this kind of rubbish desensitizes us and robs us of our civility, bit by bit. That day I began to wonder, why were we not as concerned with first-hand cultural pollution as we were with second-hand smoke? I decided to take a stand. I called the retailer responsible for the billboard and complained about the image and wording. Though prepared for resistance, I was happily surprised to hear that others, too, had registered their protest, and that the entire ad campaign would soon be scrapped. In the five years since this incident, I have succeeded in getting many offensive billboards removed from my community. The advertisers have ranged from soft-porn self-promoters and phone sex lines to others so vulgar that it boggles the mind that anyone thought it clever. The most recent example was a billboard for a sports radio station that displayed the clothed backsides of four males, all of whom were unzipping themselves in order to urinate. Additionally, I gave the name and number of the person responsible to business managers whose stores faced the billboard. That one came down in less than one week. It is often easier than people think to get these offensive ads removed. Most billboards feature the name of the sponsoring outdoor media company at the bottom. From there, the phone book is your guide. On occasions when I couldn#146;t be sure about a number or company name, my city councilwoman#146;s office helped me hunt down the information. I have found that a polite but firm phone call or letter with a rational explanation of my feelings usually gets results. When I call, I am patient and listen to the other side. I don#146;t expect people to snap to attention just because I#146;m unhappy, but I don#146;t back down either. In the end, most people have a hard time defending blatant raunchiness for general public consumption. Violent images are also a big problem. I wrote to the vice president of a national chain of bowling alleys protesting the violent video games in their facilities. Just days later, the V.P. called me back to thank me for my letter, promising to share it with other executives at their next meeting. During a lengthy conversation, he also noted that the company had already removed what they deemed the most objectionable games.I#146;ve also lobbied by phone, letter, or e-mail, to other companies and media outlets, explaining why I felt their seamy material harms us all. Obviously most will not change their campaigns or programs because they hear from me. But when enough people speak up, change will happen. Most respectable businesses don#146;t want to get a bad rap, and companies know that for every one person who bothers to call or write, hundreds more were offended by what they saw.I#146;m never deterred when I am told, as often happens, #147;No one else has complained about this. You#146;re the only one.#148; Even if it#146;s true, I tell them, it doesn#146;t mean I#146;m wrong. But imagine that it is true, that I am the only one who calls. I still get results more often than not. What a powerful testimony to the difference each and every one of us can make in our own communities! Judy Gruen is the author of Carpool Tunnel Syndrome: Motherhood as Shuttle Diplomacy (Champion Press, 2002)available in Dr. Laura's Reading Corner. This article originally appeared in Woman#146;s Day magazine. More >>

Myths and Misunderstandings of the Grieving Process by Brook Noel Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. excerpted from I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one. nbsp;It is the rare school or family environment that teaches what to expect either emotionally or pragmatically, when life collapses in tragedy, especially the advent of sudden and unexpected death. A sudden loss can put one into a whirlwind of emotions and visceral responses, twisting and turning us until we are set down in a place that feels as foreign as another planet. Like a hurricane, there is nothing like it, and nothing can prepare us. We can only follow suggested guidelines, i.e. evacuate, board up, etc. However, unlike a hurricane where there is often advance warning, with sudden death there is no such warning#151;no way to prepare.We are ill-prepared to handle sudden death because we don#146;t expect life to be so tenuous, so fragile. However, once our lives are touched by the experience of tragic loss, we never look at life in quite the same way. We become acutely aware of the delicate nature of the human organism, and life becomes precious in a way it never was before.nbsp; You can consciously shift from feeling grief is #147;something that happens to you#148; to #147;grieving is something you do to heal.#148; Remember, when life feels out of control, and it#146;s bound to during this time, that you do have control over how you will grieve and this can be very empowering.In this article we will cover many of the common myths that people hold today. You may have encountered some of these already or been feeling pressured by them yourself. By examining the myth we can create a more well-rounded picture. nbsp;Myth #1 - Death is death, sudden or long term and we all grieve the same way. Of course there will be some commonalties in the grieving process. Truth is, depending on our life experiences, age, sex, resiliency, number of previous losses, health, cultural expectations and relationship to the deceased, we will each #147;do grief#148; in our own unique way. No two of us are exactly alike in our histories and in our relationship to the deceased. nbsp;Myth #2 - By keeping busy I can lessen or eliminate my grief. In an attempt to avoid the pain, grievers may choose to keep busy. We may find ourselves cleaning the house, dusting bookshelves, cleaning closets and engaging in other non-important tasks. However, you will find this #147;busyness#148; is simply a sidetrack that will only work for a short time. There is clearly no way around grief. nbsp; Myth #3 - I am going crazy and I#146;m afraid I will stay that way. Sudden death creates trauma for the survivors on many levels. Trauma victims may not behave as people would expect. Many people report feeling numb and indifferent. Those around you, may expect you to be more openly distraught and you may hear comments like, #147;My, you sure are taking this well,#148; or #147;I expected to find you in a more disturbed state.#148; You may find yourself walking around in a fog with an inability to make decisions. You may behave in a matter-of-fact way and you may appear to be functioning at a rather high level. Blank stares are common as the mind tries to grapple with the unimaginable. You may not weep, cry or wail for some time. All of these behaviors may puzzle onlookers and family members, and all of these behaviors are normal and temporary. nbsp;nbsp;Myth #4 - I will need to make sure I don#146;t grieve for too long#151;one year should be enough. Sometimes societal and religious beliefs impose rules like time limits for grief, what we should wear, how we should behave, when and where we should talk about the death and to whom. With sudden death, as with any death, we must find our own way through tonbsp;embrace life again. Most recoveries from sudden death take at least two years, and in some ways we never #147;get over#148; the loss completely. Our expression of grief needs to come out of our need to make meaning or sense from what feels like meaningless tragedy, and no time limit can be set on that. nbsp;nbsp;Myth #5 - If I express my anger at God or the circumstances of the death, I am a bad person and will #147;pay#148; for it. Anger is an extremely uncomfortable emotion for some of us, but it is one of the most important ones to express. If you become angry with God, don#146;t judge yourself too harshly. As Earl Grollman writes, #147;It#146;s okay to scream at God. He can take it.#148; The Psalms are full of raging at God about injustices. We believe God can handle anything we throw his way. However, if you find your anger is becoming out of control (i.e. breaking valuables, threatening or preparing to kill someone, wanting to burn the church or hospital down or you have suicidal thoughts) immediately seek appropriate professional help and guidance. nbsp;nbsp;Myth #6 - I won#146;t have to grieve as much and I will feel better if I use alcohol or medication to alleviate my sadness. Some survivors will use, or increase their use, of alcohol or antidepressants. By doing this however, they distance themselves from what they need to feel to heal, and they distance themselves from their family members and support systems. The grief simply goes underground and waits to be expressed. They may mistakenly believe that #147;If I drink (drug) to get over it, then the grief will be gone when I#146;m sober.#148; Nothing could be further from the truth. Some will need the temporary relief that medication can provide in order to function and a competent therapist should help make this decision. nbsp;nbsp;Myth #7 - If I talk about my loss I#146;ll feel worse. You cannot move through your grief unless you experience it. Hiding it or denying it will only prolong it. Meeting and talking with other people who have been through this process will help you. Ellen Sue Stern writes in Living with Loss: Meditations for Grieving Widows, #147;It#146;s essential to allow yourself to talk as much as you want; healing is hastened by reminiscing about your husband [or loved one] processing the last days of his life, the funeral and any other details surrounding his death. For now choose only to spend time with people who are supportive and understanding, who can lovingly listen as long as you need to talk.#148; nbsp;nbsp;Myth #8 - After a while I won#146;t think about it anymore. You may be ambushed by grief when you least expect it. To believe you can forever put the loss and the circumstances surrounding the death #147;out of your mind#148; is a completely unrealistic expectation. You will, from time to time, throughout your life, re-experience feelings associated with the loss.nbsp; nbsp;nbsp;Myth #9 - I should be relieved that they didn#146;t suffer a long and lingering illness.nbsp; You may hear some say #147;well at least he died quickly#151;be happy for that.#148; Perhaps you are thinking this way if the person you lost suddenly was much older or had been suffering. But for most of us, the sudden death was an untimely one#151;one that occurred way too soon for the person and those left behind. There may be little, if any, relief in the knowledge that they died quickly. nbsp;nbsp;Myth #10 - Once I am done with one stage of grief, I will simply move on to the next. With the popularity of the well-known #147;Five Stages of Grief#148; (Kuuml;bler-Ross,) some people mistakenly believe that grief is a linear process. Like we said before, recovery is not like an elevator that takes you from the basement of despair to the penthouse of joy. It is more like a maze where you go forward a bit, move back a few steps, cover the same ground again and find yourself at the beginning. Like a fun house hall of mirrors, you see yourself over and over again, distorted and misshapen until you come out the other side. nbsp;nbsp;Myths can prohibit the process of recovery. Use the above Myth-Busters to work past the myth to reality. nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair are the authors of I Wasn#146;t Ready to Say Goodbye: surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one. Available in Dr. Laura's Reading Corner, click here . Or at www.championpress.com nbsp; Brook Noel is also the founder of GriefSteps#153; www.griefsteps.com More >>

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Dealing With Crybabies By Cheryl Gochnauer Since Karen and Carrie are now 13 and 9, you might think I'm out of touchwith mothers of newborns. No way. I have an excellent memory and I want youto know, my glassy-eyed, sleep-deprived, still-in-my-bathrobe-at-5 friend,that you will live through this. Poor Baby. I remember a particularly bleary day when Karen started screaming at 8 a.m.and didn't quit for six hours. SIX hours! About five hours into it, I wasstanding on my front porch, screaming myself (in my bathrobe, of course). Fortunately, all my neighbors worked, so no one was around to call the cops. Then again, I probably would have been grateful to be hauled off to a nice,quiet cell. Baby swings were usually helpful in getting my little ones quieted down. With Karen, I had one of those crank jobbies that would run out of steamjust as she was nodding off. Waaaaah! When Carrie came along, I got smartand bought a battery-operated swing and constantly kept a fresh supply ofAAs on hand. Babies cry, and for as little as they are, they're remarkably good at it. Since they can't talk, crying is their main means of communicating, and itwill help keep your temper in check if you try to view their bawling in thatlight. Approach their outbursts as you would a foreign language, spoken bysomeone you'd give your life for. It takes a relatively short time for Mom to decipher which cry means what.There's the "I'm hungry" cry. There's the "I'm tired" cry. There's theemphatic "I need a new diaper" cry. (Who wouldn't wail at that?) And inCarrie's case, there was the "My sock's on crooked and somebody's gonna pay!" cry. (Even at three months, she was a perfectionist.) If you're a stay-at-home mom, I can point out a silver lining surroundingthe up-all-night cloud: once you collapse in bed at 4 a.m., you don't haveto get up for work at 6 a.m. There were times when I was sure people in the next county could hear myredheaded foghorns. But read my lips: this too shall pass. Your baby willlearn to sleep through the night. You will wear makeup again. Both you andyour baby will learn to communicate in ways other than crying. Meanwhile, make sure you arrange for regular renewal time away from yourchildren. Days on end without a break sap energy and patience, and achronically tired mother has little to give her family. So take Grandma upon her offer to baby-sit; ask your husband to watch the baby while you get asoda with friends; build some mad money into the budget for a sitter so youcan get out a couple of hours a week. That's another thing I remember - how revitalizing a short break can be. Bythe time I walked back in the door, I was refreshed and swept my baby backin my arms, ready for our next adventure together. Give yourself somebreathing room, and there's a good chance you'll feel the same. (Comments? Email Cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Her new "Stay-at-Home Handbook", is available at yourfavorite bookstore or directly from Cheryl (autographed!) at www.homebodies.org . Copyright 2002 Homebodies.Org, LLC.) More >>

The Fine Art of Paper Management Jill Savage 1/26/02 Pantagraph Hearts at Home column Do you ever lose your kitchen counter? Do you find yourself simply moving mail and school papers from one pile to another? Do you struggle knowing what wonderful art papers to keep and what to discard? Are you frantically searching for your child's field trip permission slip minutes before they leave for school? If you can answer yes to any of the above questions, you are not alone. Most mothers struggle with the hundreds of school papers that descend upon our kitchen counters every week. When you add in information about the soccer league, church programs, and kindergarten registration it becomes almost overwhelming. Then the mail comes each day and you are ready to throw in the towel. How can we handle all of the paper that comes into our home each day? What can we do to minimize the stress this adds to our life? With four children ranging from ages 5-17, it seems that paper management is one of my biggest jobs. By default, I'm a pile maker. My mom was a pile maker, too. Of course, she always seemed to know what pile that permission slip was in. I, on the other hand, found myself being stressed about not having the use of my kitchen counter. I didn't want to live simply moving one pile to another just to prepare dinner. I had to find a new way. Through the help of organized friends and Don Azlett's book "Clutters Last Stand", I finally began learning new strategies for handling the snowstorm of papers that blow in each day. Here are some of the tips I've learned over the years: When trying to decide what cute art papers to save, anything that has their picture on it or has been created using a handprint or footprint takes priority. When looking at a picture of a snowman that's been created with glued cottonballs and a picture of a turkey created out of Austin's handprint--the handprint picture is saved and the cottonball snowman is tossed. As children grow older, save one or two major school projects, papers, or essays that they particularly enjoyed doing. Toss school papers everyday unless they fit the above criteria. Make sure you toss them out of your child's sight to eliminate confusion for the child. Some moms choose to toss while the child is at school the next day. After all, new papers will be coming home in a few hours. If you struggle with tossing papers so soon, put their school papers in a hanging file each day and empty the file each Monday to prepare for the next influx of papers. Consider keeping a 9x12 envelope addressed to each set of grandparents. Rather than throwing away a child's work, put it in the envelope to mail to the grandparents once a month. This is a great way to keep grandparents involved in their grandchildren's daily accomplishments! Display artwork and good papers prominently. Many of us use the refrigerator as a makeshift bulletin board. In one home we lived in, I made a display for artwork going down the basement stairs. We draped a large fishing net on the wall and used clothespins to clip new artwork and school papers to the net. Remember each time you add one to the display, you remove one, as well. When the kids come home after school or preschool immediately ask for school papers. Fill out permission forms and attach checks, if necessary, and place back in their school bag for the next day. Don't let them sit and hope you remember them--just handle them once. Transfer dates and pertinent information for activities to a family calendar or your personal planner. Throw away newsletters and information pages as soon as the dates are transferred. Keep a hanging file system in the area where the papers seem to congregate. Make a file for each child for any papers that need to be kept for upcoming activities. Create files for bills and medical/insurance paperwork. Keep some revolving files on hand for seasonal projects. Are you planning a vacation this summer? Make a vacation file to keep brochures, maps, and travel reservations together. Is your child going to summer camp or participating in a summer mission trip? Make a file for it to keep correspondence, packing lists, and brochures at easy reach. Keep a file or an "inbox" for papers you have finished with, but dad still needs to see. Make sure your husband knows that he needs to discard the papers after he sees them. Learning to manage paper clutter has not been easy for me--but it's been necessary as the home manager. And the fringe benefit of reclaiming my kitchen counter has been worth it all! Jill Savage and her family of six live in Normal, Illinois. Jill is the founder and director of Hearts at Home, http://www.hearts-at-home.org and the author of "Professionalizing Motherhood". Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>