05/07/2010
At-Home Vacationing
Homebodies
By Cheryl Gochnauer
While lots of people love to travel, vacation time can still be a blastwithout leaving town. It's a perfect chance to re-fire friendships andremove hovering home projects from your radar.
DE-STRESSING HONEY-DO'S.
Relax the rest of your year by using vacation timeto get monkey-on-your-back duties done. The key is to approach vacationprojects as family fun, not work.
Paint trim. While you're touching up the leaves, let youngsters slap somepaint on weathered outdoor benches. Or choose a new color for the frontdoor and shutters to give a fresh look without tackling the whole house.
Clean closets. Sandra Felton, founder of Messies Anonymous, suggestssorting items into three boxes: "Give Away," "Throw Away" or "StoreElsewhere." Hold a garage sale, take things to a consignment shop, or calla charity to arrange a pickup.
Plot plants. Gather the family in the yard to strategize landscaping.Pick a place for a festive kids' garden, where they can plant unusualvegetables and flowers. Visit a nursery, choosing a potted plant or two toadd life to your living room now.
BOND WITH BUDDIES.
Transform a vacation week into Friends and FamilyAppreciation Week. Some suggestions:
Spend an afternoon exclusively with each of your children. Let themchoose a favorite snack spot and activity. Now hire a baby-sitter andschedule a "whatever-she/he-wants" day with your spouse.
Revitalize relationships by meeting a different friend for lunch each day.
Shoot hoops with neighbors in the driveway, or play volleyball in thebackyard.
Invite friends over for a movie marathon, or to play cards and boardgames.
Organize a progressive dinner. Everyone goes to one house for appetizers,the next for salads, another for entrees, and finishes up at your home fordessert.
Hold an adult slumber party, or camp out in your backyard with severalother families.
Whatever you decide to do over vacation, keep the tone light. "I like to dothings where there's laughter," says Ruth Strobach, who resides near KansasCity. "We live in such a serious world, under so much stress. It's fun toget together with people where you can be yourself, laugh, relax and shutout the cares of the world for a little while."
(It's April, and that means Cheryl's new "Stay-at-Home Handbook" is hittingshelves in a bookstore near you. If you'd like a personally autographedcopy, write
Cheryl@homebodies.org
or click on this link for moreinformation:
www.homebodies.org/ordersahh.htm
. Cheryl's other newbook, "Mom to Mom", makes a perfect Mother's Day gift. For orderinformation, go to
http://www.homebodies.org/mom2mom.htm
. Copyright 2002Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com)
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05/07/2010
Asking Great Questions
By Patti Chadwick
www.parentsandteens.com
patti@parentsandteens.com
Do you want to know what your teen is really thinking? Try asking great questions. Too many times we ask closed questions that require only a ?yes? or ?no? answer. Does this sound familiar:
How was school? Good.
Do you have homework? No.
How was the game? Okay.
We need to learn to ask specific questions that require thought and will encourage conversation. Why not try some of these:
Was that test in Spanish as hard as you thought?
What were some of the questions on it? Which question was the hardest for you?
Who scored the highest in the basketball game after school?
Were there any amazing plays?
How many people came to Lindsay's birthday party last night?
What kind of presents did she get.
On a more personal level why not try asking things like:
What do you think Heaven looks like?
What kind of person would you like to marry?
What's the nicest thing I ever did for you?
What's the best thing you remember from your childhood?
If you could travel anywhere in the world ? where would you like to visit? Why?
The list could go on and on, and it should! Why not make your own and begin asking your teen questions that will lead to meaningful conversations.
Patti Chadwick
is the creator of Parents Teens found at
www.parentsandteens.com
. She is also the author ofMISSION POSSIBLE: RAISING GREAT TEENS! and LOOK UP! A 30-Day Devotional Journal for Teens. Both books are available on her website in both ebook and print formats. To purchase visit:
www.parentsandteens.com
.
Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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05/07/2010
Mommies On The Web
Homebodies
By Cheryl Gochnauer
Cheryl@homebodies.org
Copyright 2002
If you're only using your computer to help your kids with their schoolwork, you're missing out on one of the greatest support systemsavailable to stay-at-home moms - a worldwide network of likemindedparents.
Isolation can be a big problem for SAHMs, especially those who live insmall towns or out in the country. Surrounding yourself with friendlymoms, however, can be as easy as logging onto the Internet.
Thousands of women visit the Homebodies website (
www.homebodies.org
)each week, and many of them are headed for the message boards. There,our Homebuddies exchange frustrations and successes, encouraging andempowering each other with been-there, done-that advice. Although thewebsite offers columns, links and other resources for SAHMs, the messageboards truly reflect the heart of the site.
So what IS a message board? I compare it to a regular bulletin boardyou pass in a hallway. On the physical bulletin board, someone can pinup a piece of paper, telling what they need. The next person comingdown the hall can read what the first wrote, then keep on going. Orthey can write their own message on that piece of paper for everyone,including the original writer, to see.
Everyone walking down that hall benefits from reading the advice shared,and has the opportunity to share their own thoughts, too. That is whata message board is like, except you type your message on a special webpage and post it on a virtual board.
For instance, you can access the Homebodies message boards by going to
www.homebodies.org
, then clicking on "HB Discussion". You will be givena choice of different message boards you can access, like "Finances","Education", "Pregnancy" or "General Discussion" (the most popularboard). Click on one of these links and a string of messages willscroll down the page. You can read and/or respond to these postingsanytime, day or night.
The great thing about the Internet is that it really is a Worldwide Web.On any given day, Homebodies may have visitors from the United States,Canada, Australia, Japan, France or Zimbabwe. The next day, we may hearfrom Sweden, South Africa and Sri Lanka. It's eye-opening to see thatno matter where we live, all parents share similar concerns and hopesfor their children.
I've pulled together some comments that past visitors have posted, togive you an idea of what's going on at Homebodies, where owners Mat andRegi Casner have done their best to provide a safe atmosphere for you.
"I wanted to say thanks to everyone! I was just re-reading the repliesyou all sent to me awhile back (re: life w/a toddler). I wanted to letyou know how much I appreciated your input and support. It's nice toknow I'm in such good company as a SAHM! This board is one place I knowI can come to and feel validated as a full time mom, in a society thatdoesn't always recognize the hard work we do each and everyday. You allare GREAT!"
"I am still adjusting to my new lifestyle, but I can say that I trulyfeel that this is the right decision. I plan on reading these boardsdaily, and I would love a few ideas from experienced SAHMs."
"Gracias. Thank you. Merci. Danke. I just wanted to thank you all forall your support and love and guidance over the past months. As youknow, I do this periodically so that you all remember how special youare and that you also remember that SAHM's ROCK! I just want you to knowthat I appreciate that you put up with all my wackiness andopinionatedness (I think I just made that word up but it sounds aboutright). I want you to close your eyes (not right now - keep reading)spread your arms out really wide and wrap them around yourself andsqueeze - that's a hug from me. ."
There's no need to feel alone, Mom. Come meet some new Homebuddies at
www.homebodies.org
.
"Mommies on the Web" is excerpted from Cheryl's latest book,"Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice on Parenting, Finances, Career, SurvivingEach Day More" (InterVarsity Press, 2002). For order information,visit
www.homebodies.org/bookstore/orderSAHH.htm
or write
Cheryl@homebodies.org
Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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05/07/2010
Contentment Robbers
Copyright 2002
Deborah Taylor-Hough
http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/
Someone recently told me that they were tired of being in debt and were ready to get their spending under control. But they were concerned about the fact that they still enjoyed spending money to pamper themselves. They were looking for inexpensive "luxury" ideas. I didn't necessarily have specific luxury ideas to suggest, but what I've found over the past several years is that my idea of what constitutes a luxury has changed greatly.
When we started on a drastic debt-repayment plan, we had no extra money for anything but the absolute barest necessities for almost five years. I couldn't even shop at thrift stores for clothes -- that would've been too expensive for our severely limited budget. We learned to make things ourselves, accept hand-me-downs from friends and family, make do with what we had, or do without. It was either live like that or be forced into Bankruptcy by our impatient and increasingly nasty creditors.
We chose to knuckle under and do what needed to be done, no matter how difficult, in order to pay off our creditors (mainly some huge hospital bills from three premature babies).
One of the fist things I noticed when we started our debt repayment plan was the discontent that seemed to overtake me almost constantly. I started praying that I would discover where this discontent was coming from so I could overcome it and put it to rest.
Well, it turned out (for me at the time) that the main Contentment Robbers were:
Mail-order Catalogs
The beautiful items in these catalogs were a constant reminder of all the "wonderful" things I couldn't have anymore -- I overcame this Contentment Robber by tossing all catalogs into the recycling bin as soon as they arrived without even glancing at them.
Shopping Malls
I hadn't realized how much "recreational shopping" breeds discontent -- I started avoiding malls at all costs unless I had something specific I needed to buy -- and even then I only went in for what was on my list and then I hurried back out before I got distracted by some new housewares store (my personal weakness).
Commercial Television
Seeing all the latest and greatest constantly paraded before my eyes bred discontent -- I turned off the TV except to watch videos from the library or PBS specials with my kids.
Womens' Magazines
I cancelled my subscriptions -- I didn't have many magazine subscriptions but the pages of the ones I did have showed perfect homes, beautiful clothes, pampering personal toiletries, etc., which really caused me to begin suffering from a form of lust (maybe "greed" is another word for it?).
Shopping Channels / The Internet
I've never watched Shopping Channels on TV but I suppose they're probably contentment robbers for some people. Also certain "malls" and "shopping" areas on the Internet would serve as contentment robbers, as well.
But probably the biggest surprise of all to me was that the longer I practiced frugal living and read books on the topic, I found that I was more satisfied by the simpler pursuits I was discovering than I ever was by all the shopping and personal luxury items that I had previously considered such a treat.
Well, we're no longer in debt (Hooray!!) and money's still tight (being a single income family of five means money is always tight), but I'm not discontent anymore. I have great satisfaction knowing that our debts are "Paid in Full." The accomplishment of paying off our debts is a great luxury in and of itself!
Plus, through the process of getting our finances in order, I've gained a new appreciation for the beauty and joy of life's simpler pleasures. Shopping and acquiring new stuff holds little appeal for me anymore. Now I would much rather spend a day hiking a Nature Trail and picnicking in a meadow with my kids, than spending an expensive afternoon sauntering around the Mall eating designer cinnamon rolls and sipping gourmet coffees.
But those weren't always my priorities ... I can honestly say I'm much more content since my priorities and ideas of luxuries have changed.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Deborah Taylor-Hough (free-lance writer, wife and mother of three) is the author of "A Simple Choice: A Practical Guide to Saving Your Time, Money and Sanity" and the bestselling book, "Frozen Assets: How to cook for a day and eat for a month (Champion Press). To subscribe to her free, twice-monthly email newsletter, Simple Times,
subscribe-simple-times@ds.xc.org
Visit Debi at:
http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/
Used with permission. All rights reserved.
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05/07/2010
So You Want To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom
Homebodies
By Cheryl Gochnauer
Cheryl@homebodies.org
Copyright 1997
(Note from Cheryl: Homebodies was born several years ago, after achecker at a convenience store refused to accept my home number as a"real work number". Infuriated, I wrote a 2500-word letter to the editorof our local newspaper, outlining why I believed deciding to become astay-at-home mom was as valid a career choice as any other.
Reader response was so great, the editor asked me to write a weeklycolumn, which spread to scores of other print and online publications,sparked several books and the popular
www.homebodies.org
, and fired an e-zine currently read by35,000 subscribers and their friends. It's a perfect example of makinglemonade out of lemons. If that checker was still around, I'd shake hishand!
I hope you'll enjoy this condensed version of that first letter to theeditor.)
I have found the Promised Land, and it is in my own backyard.
The honey flows sweetly, whether soft spring breezes are ruffling mychildren's hair, or the kids are splashing through summer's sprinklers,or I join them tumbling in autumn's leaves. Even smacked upside thehead with a preschooler's snowball, I love being a stay-at-home mom.
I am a thirty-something, college-educated, work-oriented woman. Rankinghigh on my list of career priorities is providing the absolute best lifefor my children, my husband, and myself. I personally can best achievethat goal by putting my training and education into action on thehomefront.
Organizational skills gleaned from the classroom and workplace serve mewell as I juggle my family's needs. In my role as Chief FinancialOfficer, I take our family's paycheck and stretch it in all waysimaginable.
As Family Counselor, I untangle a web of relational challenges, fromsibling rivalry to deciphering a toddler's intricate code words. Iactually have the patience to listen to my husband's venting after ahard day, since I'm not just waiting for my chance to grind an axe aboutmy own frustrating experience at the office (although I may have a goodstory or two about the kids).
Life is certainly entertaining as I juggle various roles at our FamilyIndustrial Complex. You've seen the hats listed before: teacher,interior decorator, gardener, chauffeur, cook, laundress, accountant,secretary, physician, etc. All rolled together, they equal astay-at-home mom.
A classic Type A personality, I am sure that quitting full-time workoutside the home has extended my life considerably. I no longer feel myhead is about to explode as I rush to daycare, rush to work, rush toerrands at lunch, rush back to work, rush to daycare, rush to thesupermarket, rush home, rush supper, rush housecleaning, rush my kids tobed so I can have a moment's peace, rush to my pillow to rush in sixhours sleep before we start this all over again tomorrow.
Instead, I can follow a flexible schedule just as vital as any I used tooutline in my Daytimer. I work for a smaller corporation now, a privateentity composed of me, my husband, and our two children.
It hasn't always been this way. Although I sincerely wished I could behome with my two daughters, I didn't believe it was financiallypossible. But as I took a complete look at our finances, I found thatafter Uncle Sam, the babysitter, the car finance company and thefast-food diners took their cut, I was bringing home $39 a week.
I was sacrificing my dream of being home with my kids for less than adollar an hour. According to the figures, I had been working for thismeasly amount for almost a year.
I called my husband and asked if he could pick up $39 in overtime aweek, to which he immediately responded, "Yes." I turned in my noticethat day.
It's true. It's not how much you make, it's how much you spend. Wesold our late model luxury car and paid cash for an ancient butwell-maintained auto. Do I miss my plush car? Of course. Am I willingto work full-time so I can have it? Of course not.
So I live within my means, knowing that someday, when my children aregrown or more money appears in our household, we may choose to buy a newcar again.
Instead of racing to the restaurant for a primo lunch - and watching theclock, cursing the slow waiter, then paying triple what it would havecost to make it myself - I can brown-bag a lunch of PBJ (the perennialkid's favorite) and go to the park on a time schedule I set myself.
My luxury car languished in a parking lot when I worked. Now my oldercar patiently waits as my children and I brown ourselves under sunnyskies. We lay on our bellies, our faces inches above the microworldcontained in grass we once just trampled, discovering tiny treasures. Chubby fingers push back my hair and soft lips smack my forehead. "Ilove you, Mommy."
No car is worth this.
You probably instinctively knew all the pluses to staying home beforeyou started reading this article. Sounds like a great dream, but youcan't afford to quit work.
Maybe. Or maybe not.
Sit down with your spouse and determine your goals for your family.Don't just look at finances; include personal and spiritual goals. Whatwould be the ultimate situation for your family? What would betolerable? What is unacceptable?
Cut out everything that is wasting your money, time and energies.Discover the difference between wants and needs. Are some of your wantsstunting an area of need? Your children are precious. What expendableitems stand between them and you?
You may be proud of the beautiful house you have provided for your kids.However, if you find they spend little time there with you - that theyare instead at a childcare center while you make the money to pay themortgage, then there may be a problem in priorities.
Same thing with the fancy car. If Mom's not there to drive to funplaces, why bother?
There are universal truths, and one Truth is this: when given a choice,young children will always choose time with their beloved parents overtime with things.
If after making all the cuts you can muster, you still don't see enoughroom in the budget to leave the office behind, consider the next bestthing: working part-time.
It's not always possible for a woman to make the jump from full-timeworker to stay-at-home mom in one leap, even if she wants to. There aremany reasons she might choose to work part-time first.
Maybe the budget won't allow a total break right now. Maybe herhusband's a little nervous. Maybe she's not sure exactly how she willlike being home all the time. Whatever the reasoning, going thepart-time route is a road an increasing amount of mothers are choosingto maneuver.
Cutting back on work commitments benefits both you and your children.But you may be surprised at the change in your husband, too. Instead ofevenings filled with laundry and housework, you can schedule your choresso that you get off work when he does. Now the evenings are free forfamily fun.
Deciding to stay at home is definitely an example of "less is more".Consider simplifying your life and realize the rewards of downscalingmaterial expectations. Like me, you might discover the Promised Land inyour own backyard.
Want to read more by Cheryl? Stop by her page at
Homebodies
where you can read her columns and get info on her at-home parenting books, "
So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom
", "Stay-at-Home Handbook" and "Mom to Mom". Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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05/07/2010
What Are They Selling?
Helping Your Kids Say "No!"
Copyright 2002 Deborah Taylor-Hough
http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/
Do you ever feel helpless in the face of the massive advertising campaigns directed at your children?
While watching television, our family has found a way to educate our children about the advertising methods used in commercials. We play a game called "What Are They Trying to Sell Us?"
Whenever a commercial comes on the air, we ask our kids to tell us what's being sold, and we also ask what methods are being used to convince us to buy the products. The kids love this game because the answer is not always obvious. Sometimes the commercials are subtle, and it can be challenging for young children to identify what's being sold.
By becoming aware of the methods used, our children are finding themselves amused at attempts to convince them they will be more appealing, smarter, etc., by purchasing various items. Rather than passively watching television commercials, this game helps teach that commercials are trying to manipulate people's behavior through the media.
By becoming aware of the subtleties of advertising, children and adults alike can become stronger to withstand the commercial onslaught in our daily lives.
About The Author:--Deborah Taylor-Hough (free-lance writer, wife and mother of three) is the editor of the Simple Times
join-simple-times@ds.xc.org
and Bright-Kids
join-bright-kids@ds.xc.org
email newsletters. Debi's also the author of the bestselling book, "Frozen Assets: How to Cook for a Day and Eat for a Month",
click here for more information
.and "A Simple Choice: A Practical Guide for Saving Your Time, Money and Sanity" (Champion Press).Visit Debi at:
http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/
Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. All rights reserved.
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05/07/2010
Mommy To The Max:
Seven Wonders of a Mother's World
by Debi Stack
www.maxedout.net
The world is full of wonders: the pyramids of Egypt, the Grand Canyon, what any woman ever saw in Woody Allen. But a mother's world has wonders all its own. Below are just seven that I find both awesome and unanswerable.
A mother wonders why fussy babies will demand their mothers hold them standing instead of sitting, even though the babies' position doesn't change at all. She stands-the baby calms. She sits-the baby cries. How can infants, who will put any disgusting object in their mouths without hesitation, have such high standards for posture?
A mother wonders why the gravitational pull of a kitchen floor is directly related to how clean it is. No one seems to drip juice or drop eggs on a dirty floor. But on the very day that we scrub and super-shine our floors, plates of syrupy-pancakes topple of their own accord.
A mother wonders why a child can ignore a certain toy for months and scornfully reject it as being "for babies" until he spots it on the garage sale table or in the give-away box. Suddenly, he clutches the rescued item protectively, tells you it's his "favorite" and looks at you as if you'd just shot Bambi.
A mother wonders why her preschooler can spend 45 minutes taking a bath, use an entire bottle of shampoo and yet emerge dry and dirty from the waist up.
A mother wonders why her husband's way of telling the kids goodnight is to swing them in the air, wrestle with them on the floor and chase them through the house until everyone is sweaty and somebody gets hurt.
A mother wonders why her own mother, who forbade elbows on the table and other abominations, allows a toddler-grandchild to make his own indoor sand pile by pouring boxes of cereal on the floor and then declares the resulting mess to be, "Adorable!"
A mother wonders why even on days when she's too maxed out to fix her hair or put on makeup, she hears her children say, "You're the prettiest mommy in the world."
Debi Stack is an author, speaker and media guest who addresses the topics of stress, overcommitment and perfectionism. Her humorous, self-help book for maxed-out women, Martha to the Max: Balanced Living for Perfectionists, is in multiple printings and translations. Visit
www.maxedout.net
. This "Mommy to the Max" column is used by www.drlaura.com with permission. Copyright 2002. All forms of reproduction strictly prohibited.
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05/07/2010
Planning Your Garage Sale
By Cheryl Gochnauer
Here in the Land of Opportunity, we're on the brink of Garage Sale Season.
Figuring out what to part with is easy. You're tired of it. It hasn't fitin two years, and never will. The color is wrong; the style is wrong; it'sjust not you.
But hang a sign on it, and somebody's sure to think it's perfect for THEM.With the right spin, trash miraculously transforms into prime merchandise.Flame your entrepreneurial spirit with these tips for your upcoming garagesale.
PRESENTATION REALLY IS EVERYTHING
. Appear disorganized and dirty, and buyerswill drive right by.
Instead, mow the grass and sweep the sidewalk. Advertise in the local paperand post bright signs at nearby major intersections, leading buyers to yourdoor with arrows. Tie balloons to your banister. Move large, eye-catchingitems like furniture out on the driveway. Open all garage doors; turn onall lights. Make everything easy to see.
Smile at visitors, but don't hover. Stand at their shoulder, and you'll losesales. Instead, sit at a table on the driveway, with pop and cookies.Divide your garage and driveway into clearly defined zones, like babyclothes, household items, children's toys, bedding and linens, etc.
Thumbtack sheets to hang from the ceiling, then stash "not-for-sale" itemsbehind the curtain.
Have an extension cord ready to prove electrical items work.
Don't lump 50 stuffed animals together, hoping someone will take time tosort through them. Instead, place an elf next to a sparkly Christmasdress...position a cowboy peeking over a pair of boots...have a huge teddybear "read" one of a series of books piled beside him.
Know your customer. Used prom dresses are a hard sale to adults, but takethose same chiffons and hawk them in the toy section under "Dress-upClothes" and a mini-ballet dancer or princess will clean you out.
Play jazz or easy listening music, giving your sale ambiance. Instead ofstacking pictures on a table, display them in appropriate areas: astill-life by some dishes, an angel positioned over a crib.
If something's dated, come up with a new way to enjoy it. For instance,don't display an old Selectric with your office supplies. Roll in a pieceof glow-orange paper, set the typewriter with the kids' stuff, and plug itin. Watch a preschooler fall in love with its tap-tap-tap.
Put cars, trucks and other "try before you buy" toys on a sturdy area rug.While Mom shops, Junior will bond with something, then take it home.
Don't pack clothes tightly on rods; separate them by size and type. Hangdresses; put shorts and tops in clearly marked boxes or baskets: "Boys2T-4T;" "Girls 10-12." Display frilly baby outfits on ladder rungs.
PLAYING GARAGE SALE LIMBO
: How low will they go? That's the question onshoppers' minds as they spring from cars. Don't keep them in suspense; postprices prominently. Color-coded dots work well; stick one on every item andlet shoppers check a chart for prices: yellow-25, blue-50, red-75, etc.
Garage-salers are looking for deals. Don't demoralize them with $10toddler dresses. Know what similar items are selling for at other sales,then charge SLIGHTLY higher prices. When merchandise is clean andattractively displayed, shoppers are willing to pay more. (But not tentimes more.)
The first person up your driveway will try to negotiate, but don't dropprices before noon. If someone makes an offer, write down their phonenumber.
Build in perceived value. If books are 50 cents, offer "3 for a dollar".Toss in free sheets when you sell a bed.
Start the day with plenty of change so the first shopper doesn't clean youout, using a $20 to pay for a 75-cent purchase. Keep money in a fanny pack,and immediately take large bills in the house for safekeeping.
Garage-saling is a combination of fun and sport. Tailor your sale to pleaseyour customers, and stuff will fly off your shelves.
Copyright 2002 Homebodies.Org, LLC.
Advance copies of Cheryl's new"Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice on Parenting, Finances, Career, SurvivingEach Day Much More" are now available ($10.99 plus $3.00shipping/packaging). "Stay-at-Home Handbook" has 42 chapters, featuring theinsights of 60 families and a foreword by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. To orderyour autographed copy, visit
http://www.homebodies.org/orderSAHH.htm
Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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05/07/2010
Moments for Mom
by
Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2002
So my 5-year-old daughter says to me in the van, 'Mom, are you thinking what I'm thinking?' Don't you just love when your kids repeat grown-up phrases? Especially when you're pretty sure they don't know what they're actually saying. So I had to smile. And reply. And I said, 'I seriously doubt it, but what are you thinking, honey?' She then said, 'Nothing!' and burst into giggles.
Actually, unfortunately, she was pretty close. I had just about nothing on my mind. If I did, it was definitely nothing worth recounting here. I think I was in one of those random thought patterns where your mind floats around topics like 'I need to change the sheets' to 'what am I going to wear for Easter?' to 'I need to pray for Sue' then back to something banal again like 'I would kill for some chocolate'. Please tell me I'm not the only one who seems to have little control over my inner world sometimes. Please tell me those thoughts parallel your thoughts at least sometimes.
But how I wish I could have longer stretches where my mind is not unoccupied or when it is not occupied with meaningless trivialities. Reminded me of II Corinthians 10:5b and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. I really believe that God cares about how I spend every minute of my time, and that includes my mind-wandering moments.
Though, it may be built into us as humans to wander from time to time - and maybe that's a good stress-reducing habit - I know I sure can use a little thought captivity now and then where I actually stop myself in mid-thought and redirect its path to something of higher value something that is true or noble or right or pure or lovely or admirable or excellent or praiseworthy something that will allow me to tell Sara next time that I actually am not thinking the same nothing that she's thinking for once.
Elisabeth K. Corcoran
is the author of
Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul
(2001), which can be purchased directly through her publisher, Kregel Publications at #1-888-644-0500, online at
amazon.com
or through your local Christian bookstore. This column is original and not excerpted from her book. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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