Back to School Brain Boosters By Kymythy R. Schultze, C.N. www.kymythy.com When your child's verbal loop switches from "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" to "I don't wanna go to school!" you know the time has come to do your parental duty and properly prepare them for another academic year. You'll buy them notebooks, backpacks, pencils and books. But, are you also putting every effort into insuring that their brain is fully charged? A child with good brain health has the opportunity to be more successful in their schoolwork, and that translates to a better school year for both of you. There are many factors that affect brain health, and in this article we'll focus on a few things you can do to make a positive difference in your child's learning and memory function. Fortunately, there are safe, natural substances that you can use to help fight brain cell damage and increase cognitive function. One of the most readily available compounds are antioxidants. Consuming plenty of these nutrients provides your child's brain with powerful tools for good health. The best sources of antioxidants are found in fresh vegetables. Wait! Don't give up just because we're using the "V-word" with regard to your child. There are creative ways to convince kids that veggies actually taste good. Experiment with recipes and types of vegetables to find ones that your child will readily eat. And let them in on the "secret superheroes" that veggies contain. Don't just say they have to eat them because they're good for them. Give them a short, kid-friendly version about the special nutrients found in vegetables that will help make them Super Smart! You know your child best, so if making a home science experiment with veggies stimulates them to indulge - go for it! Protein is brain-food at its finest! Amino acids are the building blocks of protein and there are eight essential to health. Animal sources of protein such as meat, fish, poultry, and eggs supply all eight of the essential amino acids. Many of the brain's neurotransmitters are made from amino acids, so if your child doesn't consume enough quality protein, brain function and mood are affected. Protein supports energy and nutrient needs, plus it's very good at satisfying hunger. And that's a good thing because a hungry child is a grumpy child that lacks focus and concentration. Including ample protein in your child's breakfast is a great way to start the day. Another supplement for brain health that has many exciting studies behind its use is fish oil omega-3 fatty acids. The brain is approximately 60 percent fat and most of that is comprised of DHA and AA fatty acids. AA is found in animal products such as meat, fish, eggs and poultry. DHA is found in cod-liver oil and fish body oils. Studies prove that adequate amounts of DHA are vital to learning, memory, and other brain functions. DHA is probably one of the most important supplements you can add to your child's diet. And don't despair; supplements have come a long way from our Grandmother's fishy cod-liver days! There are now fish oils that are deliciously flavored. Because cod-liver oil contains fat-soluble vitamins A and D, it's best given during the winter when there's less sunlight (and thus less vitamin D). During the rest of year, use a good quality flavored fish body oil. Give according to the directions on the bottle. Carlson brand makes both cod-liver and fish body oils that are good enough to pass most kid taste-tests. And remember to tell them about how this supplement helps them have a Super Brain. Every kid likes to have some type of super power! One more thing you can do to support your child's brain health is to make sure they get enough exercise. Studies in the U.S. and Japan prove that exercise improves memory and other mental skills. In the studies, people who received adequate exercise scored better on tests and completed them faster than people that did not exercise. So, get your child moving daily. If they're young enough to appreciate it, tie a dashing cape on them, and let them exercise by zooming around and enjoying their Super Brain super power! About the author: Kymythy Schultze is a Clinical Nutritionist (C.N.) and has been a trailblazer in the field of nutrition for nearly two decades. Her best-selling books include "The Natural Nutrition No-Cook Book" which contains delicious and healthy kid-friendly recipes and "Natural Nutrition for Dogs and Cats". Both are published by Hay House, Inc. Visit Kymythy's website at www.kymythy.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Bullying Our Kids in Our Homes: Welcome to Cyber-Bullying By Derek Randel www.stoppingschoolviolence.com Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room and said, "I got another one of those instant messages. It says, 'tomorrow you had better not show up at school or else'." She has been getting messages frequently. The result of this is that she no longer likes to turn her computer on. Sue is 14 years old and in the 8th grade. She has been bullied at school for a number of years and she has had a difficult time getting the Principal and teachers to end it. Sue has two disadvantages that make her a target. First, she has always had a weight problem, not extremely heavy but overweight. Second, her last name is hard to pronounce. This has led to numerous ways to say and spell her name. Others have been very creative and cruel. Tom is aware that she needs to lose weight but what can he do about his last name....change it? This should come as no surprise to anyone, but as technology changes so do the bullies. Bullying has gone wireless. These are situations our children face that we never did. How does this happen? The Internet, cell phones with text messaging, instant messaging, camera phones and e-mail are the bullies' new tools. This is coming to a school near you if it hasn't already. The concerns involving cyber-bullying include: Cyber-bullying can be much more damaging psychologically and can be much more intense. It creates a barrier between the bully and the victim. This makes anyone who normally wouldn't be a bully now becomes a potential bully because there is no face-to-face contact. Smaller students have found a way to bully. It is very difficult to catch the bully. When one is suspected or caught his or her defense is that it was someone else impersonating them or someone used my password. Camera phones are making cyber-bullying more creative. They take a student's picture and then they manipulate the photo. Then it is posted on a website, e-mailed out, or posted on you-tube. Imagine getting an e-mail of a nude individual with your face attached to it, and you're only a teenager. Parents must be aware Many kids, including Sue, do not want to report this problem to their parents for fear of how their parents may react. Many believe their parents will take away their cell phone, computer, or Internet access. This is an obvious solution to stopping the messages. Sue feels harassed by the bully and then punished by her parents when her equipment is removed. This is a double punishment for her. Parents should strongly consider removing an Internet connection from a child's bedroom. Internet connections need to be in a central location. SOLUTIONS - Ask questions and act as if you're unfamiliar with the topic. For example, have you heard of anyone receiving improper messages on their phone? Does anyone use their camera phones for taking pictures of others who don't want their picture taken? Also, everything must be documented. Text Messaging shy; When Sue receives an obscene message, threat, or abusive message on her phone we want to teach her to not respond. Your wireless provider should be notified. Chat-rooms and Instant Messaging shy; She should never give out personal information. She should not share her password. If Sue receives inappropriate messages, have her disconnect or block the sender. She should not respond to inappropriate messages. We do not want a dialogue to begin. She should avoid giving out the name of her school. No child should ever agree to meet anyone from a chat-room. That 17 year-old stud just may be a 53 year-old bald man with a potbelly. E-Mail shy; Once again, when Sue is sent an inappropriate email, she should not respond. Go to the source button to find out information on tracking where it was sent from. If it was sent from someone at school, then print the e-mail to use as proof. Sue's parents can contact the school or their service provider to see what options are available. If there are threats involved, then contacting the police is always an option. Look into e-mail filters, creating folders for these e-mails, and spam software to block them. Whatever you choose, it will never be 100% perfect in blocking unwanted e-mails. Filters do not block cyber-bullying messages. Handling the topic of cyber-bullying with your child before it becomes a problem will make it easier when and if it becomes a problem. Your child needs your guidance and ignoring this issue does not help or support anyone who is a victim of cyber-bullying. Derek Randel is a parent coach who speaks nationally on how to remove the yelling from your home and how to protect your child/student from bullying and school violence. Derek has been seen on many television shows and is heard on radio shows around the country. He shares his years of experience as a high school and middle school educator and was nominated for a Disney American Teacher Award. He also is a certified stepfamily coach through the Step-Family Foundation. For more information visit www.stoppingschoolviolence.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Connecting with Your Kids: Navigating the Terrific, Turbulent Tween Years By Dr. Laura Markham www.yourparentingsolutions.com Tweens are emerging teens, but they're still children. They'll astonish you with their ability to conceptualize, to argue brilliantly, and then to do foolish things. The biggest danger for tweens is losing the connection to parents while struggling to find their place and connect in their peer world. The biggest danger for parents is trying to parent through power instead of through relationship, thus eroding their bond and losing their influence on their teen. Parenting tweens is a challenge because hormones kick in as puberty approaches, and because the pressures of the peer group magnify. Many moms and dads react to their tween's moodiness, focus outside the family, increasing independence and maturing physical body by distancing somewhat from their child. But tweens need to feel they have a secure nest as they launch themselves into the exciting but scary world. Kids who feel disconnected from their parents lose their anchor and look for it in their peer group. Fiercely maintain a strong bond with your child, even while you encourage age-appropriate freedom. How? Stay connected by having dinner together every night, or as often as possible. Kids who have dinner with their parents do better in school, and are less prone to problems, from drugs and alcohol use to depression. Check in with your tween every single day with private time together; many parents find that 15 minutes at bedtime is most intimate. Schedule regular alone-time with each parent, such as monthly brunch with Dad or weekly walks with Mom. Don't expect your son or daughter to invite closeness or volunteer vulnerable emotions at each interaction, or when you expect it. But if you set up enough regular opportunities to be together, it will happen. To reduce rebelliousness, recognize and work with your tween's need for independence. Be aware that we often compensate for feeling less powerful as parents by becoming overprotective. Instead of breathing down his neck, agree on and enforce reasonable limits (no phone calls during dinner after 9pm, no online chatting or TV until homework is finished); be sure to offer empathy when they hate your limits. Re-think your previous ideas about discipline. Power-based punishment strategies such as punishment/consequences will stop working as soon as your child feels like challenging them. You never win a power struggle with your child. The only leverage we really have with our tweens and teens is their love for us, which becomes a more potent motivator over time. That means the best way to get your tween to behave is to maintain a strong bond with him. Don't underestimate hormones. Your child's body is changing, creating mood swings, distractibility, competitiveness, and preoccupation with the opposite sex. It can be hard for kids to focus on much else, and tweens can even find themselves in a full-blown tantrum. Kindly tell your tantrumming teen that you see how upset they are and you want to give them time to pull themselves together before you discuss it; then leave the room. They don't understand their moods any more than you do right now. Later, give them a big hug, explain that you know they're still learning to manage their new hormones, but that of course they know you can't reward such behavior by giving in to whatever prompted it. Don't take it personally! When your tween yells at you to drop dead, don't over-react. When they hurt your feelings and you're tempted to withdraw, take a deep breath and stand your ground calmly. That doesn't mean you don't calmly demand civility, and it doesn't mean you can't use strategic withdrawals as a chance to regroup, but that you continue to reinforce your love for your child. Your best way to get your tween to act respectfully towards you is to extend respect to her, and to calmly insist on it in return. The tween years are the perfect time to teach values, which is best done not by lecturing, but by asking questions. To get your child talking, become a brilliant listener, empathizer, and question asker. Tweens are usually curious about your own early years, those can be great opportunities to reassure them that even their parents were insecure, as all tweens are. It's also an opportunity to teach; don't be afraid to share real life examples of teens who died from drinking and driving, or became addicted to drugs. It's best, though, if your own stories set a positive, rather than negative example. Be aware that the more popular culture your child is exposed to, the more risk she runs of drug and alcohol use, depression and teen pregnancy. Tweens want to grow up, so naturally they ape adult popular culture. Yes, they have to fit in with their friends, but they count on their parents to keep them safe and set limits. They aren't ready for the attention they get when they wear revealing fashions or sing that inappropriate song at the recital. They need you to enforce strict rules regarding internet use and what movies are appropriate. Tweens want and need your guidance, even if they can't show it. Tweens are actively shaping their identity. Support their experimenting and exploring, even when they're into a new fad every few weeks. Don't comment on their fashions as long as all body parts are covered, and keep an open mind about their music. Especially support the deep passions into which they really pour themselves; those are protective during the teen years. Stay involved with your teen's school, offering help as necessary in developing time management skills, insuring that homework gets done and big projects are worked on over time. Be aware that how hard your tween works at school will depend on whether his peers do, and try to have him attend a school where the kids consider good grades cool. Maintaining high expectations and insuring that homework doesn't get neglected in favor of evening IMing is critical. Teach your tween good physical self-management: at least nine hours of sleep every night, regular protein and low glycemic snacks, regular exercise. Instilling these habits can take real creativity on the part of parents, but they greatly reduce moodiness and you'll be happy they're well-established when your child hits the teen years. Be aware of the special needs of your son or daughter as they grow into adults in a culture that perpetuates unhealthy attitudes about men, women, and sexuality. Girls will need your help handling media images of women, the pressure to be sexy, cultural expectations about attractiveness, her relationship with food, and her body. Remember that girls naturally fill out before they shoot up, and be careful not to impose society's insistence that only thin is attractive. Notice any issues you have as her body blossoms. Be aware of the research showing that most tween girls are anxious about the sense they get from the media that becoming a woman puts them in danger from men. Boys need help integrating their sense of connection, tenderness and vulnerability -- which are a part of all human relationships -- with societal images of manliness. It's important for boys approaching their teen years to act cool, indifferent, and invulnerable with their peers, even when they're actually highly sensitive kids. A responsible, affectionate father or uncle can be a critical teacher as a tween boy learns how to be a good man. Dr. Laura Markham is the founder of the parenting web site www.yourparentingsolutions.com , featuring a popular advice column and parent-tested solutions you can use every day to connect with your kids and create a richer family life. Her work appears regularly on a dozen parenting sites and in print, and she conducts frequent online chats with readers. Dr. Markham specializes in helping families nurture the parent-child relationships that protect today's kids. She lives in New York with her husband, 11 year old daughter, and 15 year old son. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

A Parent's Guide to Dog-Bite Prevention Colleen Pelar, CPDT, CDBC www.LivingwithKidsandDogs.com "If my dog ever bites my child, he's out of here!" I hear that all the time. It just makes me want to scream, "But that will be too late!" Each year nearly 2.8 million children are bitten by a dog. Most of these bites are not coming from some scary dog that got loose. Sensational stories make headlines, but most dog bites are more commonplace. Half come from the family's own dog, and another 40 percent come from a friend or neighbor's dog. As a dog trainer and a mother of three boys, I want families to love having a dog, but I am perpetually frustrated by the lack of knowledge most parents have about basic dog safety. They seem to be operating under the Disney-esque assumption that a good dog would never bite a child, and their dog is certainly a good dog. Well, I'm sure their dog is a good dog and their kids are good kids, yet every day misunderstandings occur because the parents don't know how to set everyone up for success. We parents can do much more to prevent our children from being bitten by dogs. But it takes some knowledge. The best barrier against aggression is a strong social drive. When choosing a dog for your family, look for one that adores people, especially children. A dog that really enjoys kids will give your kids the benefit of the doubt when they step on his tail or fall over him. Even with the best supervision, there will be times when a child hurts a dog. Today, one of my sons kicked off his snow boot, which went flying down the hall and hit the dog. Fortunately for all of us, Gordo didn't bat an eye. Several times a month, I am asked to perform behavior assessments of family dogs. One painful part of my job is telling parents when I do not believe their dog has the right temperament to be a safe companion for their children. That breaks my heart, but I feel strongly that I must call the shots as I see them. Sugar-coating or painting a rosy picture might put the family's child in danger, and I can't live with that. I often see dogs that could be great family members with some support from the parents. Supervision, along with a basic understanding of dog behavior, is the key. For example, here is something I bet you don't know: Dogs don't like hugs! Oh, I know, your dog loves when your kids hug him. While I believe that dogs can be taught to accept and, in a few cases, even welcome hugs, I also know that hugging is not a normal dog behavior. Think about the last time you saw one dog "hug" another. It wasn't a gesture of affection, was it? No, it was either mating or a dominance display. Do you really want your dog thinking your child is attempting either of those behaviors? Children, especially preschoolers, rarely understand the concept of personal space. We parents need to be sure that our dogs get some downtime away from the kids. It's wearing to have someone following you around all day, even if he means well. My kids know that if the dog goes in his crate, they cannot talk to him or pet him until he chooses to come back out. It gives the dog a private refuge where he's not expected to be the local celebrity, the center of attention. Learning a bit about canine body language helps too. There is a set of behaviors-called calming signals-dogs display when they are stressed. These serve two purposes: they are an attempt at self-soothing, akin to thumb sucking, as well as a message to others that the dog would like the situation to defuse. Watchful parents can step in when they see their dog exhibiting these behaviors. Lip licking-When a dog is a little anxious, he will often quickly stick out his tongue and lick his lips. It's usually just a fast, little flick. Watch your dog; this is one of the most common signals I see. Yawning-This is often mistaken for contentment. The dog is surrounded by kids, and he lets out a big yawn. Isn't that sweet? Nope, it's a sign that he's in a little over his head and would appreciate your help. Shaking off-We've all seen dogs shake off when they are wet, but this happens at other times too. I liken it to a reset button on a video game. Time to shake off and start over. It will happen right after something makes the dog uncomfortable, usually as he's walking away. Freezing-Watch out! Freezing is one step beyond a calming signal; it's often a last-ditch attempt to tell you to back off. Dogs typically freeze right before they snap or bite. That may sound obvious, but one of the scariest things I ever saw was when an owner told me, "Lucy loves to have kids hug her. Look how still she is." It was a heart-stopping moment for me. Lucy, thank goodness, did not bite, but she was definitely not enjoying the experience. Spaying and neutering our pets helps too. Nearly 80 percent of dog bites come from intact males. It's important not to blame kids for being kids or dogs for being dogs. Let's be realistic; it's impossible to control someone else's behavior 100 percent, be it dog or child. We parents can, however, teach dogs and kids to enjoy each other's company more by building an understanding of each other's behavior-and in doing so, we will decrease that scary number of annual dog bites and help ensure that our children are not bitten. Colleen Pelar, CPDT, CDBC, author of Living with Kids and Dogs . . . Without Losing Your Mind , is America's Kids and Canines Coach. Colleen has more than 15 years' experience as the go-to person for parents trying to navigate kid-and-dog issues. Because every interaction between a child and a dog can be improved by a knowledgeable adult, Colleen is committed to educating parents, children, and dog owners on kid-and-dog relationships. For more information visit www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Exercise and Pregnancy By Tracey Mallett www.TraceyMallett.com I know how exciting it is to finally hear the news that you're going to have a baby. I'm sure there are many questions going through your head about keeping you and your baby healthy throughout your pregnancy. I've gathered a few of the most-asked questions to guide you safely and healthfully on your journey to new motherhood. Can I continue exercising in my first trimester? The first trimester is not the time to start a NEW exercise routine. It is best to wait until you're in to your second trimester and have clearance from your doctor to start an exercise plan. However, for those who are already active, you can safely continue with what is familiar to the body through the first trimester. What are the best activities to do through pregnancy? It's very important to listen to your body and not take part in any activities that may cause abdominal trauma. It is also important to stay well hydrated and prevent over-heating. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, you can safely engage in 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise on most, if not all, days of the week. Be aware you will have less oxygen available for aerobic exercise during pregnancy, so modify the intensity of your routine accordingly. Pregnancy will make exercise feel more difficult, especially in the first trimester, as the amount of blood circulated by the heart increases early in pregnancy and levels off during the third trimester at 30 to 50 percent above normal values. Throughout exercise you should always be able to carry on a conversation. This is a great way of monitoring the intensity of your workout. You also have to take into consideration that the heart rate increases during pregnancy and you will need to allow for additional recovery time to bring the heart rate down following an exercise session. It could take up to 15 minutes to recover. Remember, it's important to listen to your body and stop exercising when fatigued. Don't exercise to exhaustion. You might be able to continue doing weight-bearing exercises at close to your usual intensity throughout pregnancy, but non weight-bearing exercise such as swimming is easier to continue and carries less risk of injury. What activities should I avoid through pregnancy? Don't do exercises in which you could lose your balance, especially in the third trimester. Avoid any exercise that risks even mild abdominal trauma. Jerky and rotational movements present in dance classes and kick boxing need to be taken with care especially in the third trimester when the center of gravity is greatly affected by the increased baby weight and may also cause balance issues. I would steer away from classes that have high-impact moves or modify the routine, keeping both feet on the floor. A good fitness instructor will always cue this for people with knee and back issues. Hot yoga is not recommended, due to the excessive heat which can cause harm to the fetus and can increase blood pressure. Mat Pilates is really only appropriate when it's completely modified. Most of a typical mat class is lying on the back, which is not advisable for the second and third trimester exerciser, as it can decrease the blood flow to the uterus . Mat Pilates is fine for first trimester if you have been practicing Pilates consistently before conceiving. After that time, look for a prenatal Pilates class or do a Pilates Pregnancy DVD at home. As you move toward the end of your pregnancy, the level of intensity and duration should be reduced as not to cause injury to the body with the extra weight of the baby and strain this may place on your joints and ligaments. Avoid balance activities such as lunges, single-leg squats and exercises on the big Swiss ball. Excessive rotation of the torso can place strain on the fetus. Stay away from doing classic abdominal crunches as this may cause a diastisis recti -- the separation of the abdominal muscles. When taking Yoga or stretching, it's important to remember that your joints and tissue will be loose during pregnancy because pregnancy hormones (relaxin), which help the uterus expand, also affect all of the body's connective tissue in the process. This is not the time to push your body to new found flexibility. You should instead work in a safe, comfortable range, maintaining good range of motion. Unless the doctor has specifically cautioned you not to exercise due to an existing medical condition, you are free to continue with your exercise program. Research has supported that babies are leaner and healthier because their moms took part in a regular exercise program during pregnancy. If you start to feel dizzy, light-headed, onset of headache, nausea, vision changes, extreme fatigue or shortness of breath, then exercise should be terminated. Your body will tell you all you need to know. Get familiar with your new body and listen carefully. Enjoy your fit pregnancy. About the author: Tracey Mallett is an internationally-recognized certified personal trainer and sports nutritionist. She is also a certified fitness instructor, Gyrotonicreg; and Master Pilates instructor. Tracey is the creator and star of the "3-In-1 Pregnancy System," the first DVD of its kind combining Pilates, Yoga and strength training for pre- and post-natal mothers. Her newest videos are "Renew You" and "Super Body BootCamp." A proud mother of two, Tracey, who hails from Bloxwich, England, now lives in Los Angeles. Visit her online at www.TraceyMallett.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Learn the Real Dangers of Poor Sleep By Jesse Cannone, CFT, CPRS losethebackpain.com Ah...a good night's sleep. We all want to get in the recommended 7-8 hours, yet according to the National Sleep Foundation, almost one-third of Americans sleep 6.5 hours or less each night. So, not only are we walking around in a bad mood, eyes half open, giant cup of Joe in hand, but now research shows that we are actually putting our heart at risk! Research by Dr. Alexandros Vgontzas, professor of psychiatry at The Pennsylvania State University in Hershey reveals that even modest sleep deprivation may be associated with low-grade inflammation, which can lead to a number of cardiovascular problems. Vgontzas and his team of researchers deprived 25 men and women just two hours of sleep per night over a six-week period. They measured blood levels for immune-system molecules called cytokines, which are normally secreted during inflammation and infection. Both men and women in the study had increased concentrations of cytokines, which confirms lack of sleep may stimulate an increase in chronic inflammation. This is troublesome, particularly because continuous inflammation has been shown to lead to hardening of the arteries, high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease and even heart failure. Also, lack of quality sleep has a significant effect on your blood sugar levels. If you are sleep deprived, it requires more insulin to balance your blood sugar levels, which, in turn, can lead to heart disease and a host of other health related problems. So, you know you need more shut-eye but getting to bed early and sleeping in later just aren't an option with your busy schedule. Maybe the quantity of hours shouldn't be your main focus, let's try focusing on getting "quality" sleep. The first option that comes to mind for most people who want to sleep more soundly is to seek out over-the-counter or prescription sleep aids. However, there are several downsides to consider: Risk of tolerance - meaning your body can require more and more of the medication in order to achieve results. The lingering effects of sleepiness from the previous night's dosage can affect your safety, the safety of those around you and even put lives at risk . They can be highly addictive - creating the danger that the body will never really learn to sleep on its own again A far better choice is to consider more natural approaches. You can do simple things like avoiding caffeine and television before bedtime, or practicing relaxation exercises to help you unwind. You can also seek out a natural herbal supplement that will help you achieve the solid sleep you need in order to maintain good health and take care of your heart. Trying these more natural approaches may be just the thing to safely help you obtain a solid nights rest without the risks associated with other traditional medications. There you have it. The evidence is overwhelming; getting sensible amounts of good quality sleep is essential to achieving optimal health and particularly a healthy heart. Ultimately it's up to you to make the right decision regarding your individual health. Remember... more zzz's equals less disease! About the author: Fitness expert and best-selling author, Jesse Cannone, CFT, CPRS, is the co-owner of losethebackpain.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Ten Tips for Making your Trip to the Amusement Park the Best Ever By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman Millions of people will visit an amusement park this summer. Some will do it as part of an extended vacation. Others will make it a one day trip or a week end event. Regardless of the length of stay, the theme of the park, or the part of the country you visit, the following tips can make your trip to an amusement park the best ever. Establish a mutual plan. Allow every member of the family to have input and contribute suggestions for what they would like to experience at the park. Brainstorm all the possible rides and activities to visit. Build a list of things you want to make sure you don't miss. Make sure each family member's top priority is included on the list. By letting everyone have a say, you build commitment and lower resistance toward the planned activities. Stick to the children's regular daily schedule and routine. The younger the child, the more important it is to stick to your regular schedule. While on vacation, children under the age of ten needs to go to bed, get up, and eat at the same time they normally do. Young children's bodies are not able to adjust quickly to time changes and schedule adjustments. If this means arriving the night before and getting a full night's sleep, do it. Don't attempt to do it all. Most amusement parks have more to offer than can be accomplished in one day. Slow down. The more you and your family members attempt to "fit it all in," the greater the chance that irritability and frustration will occur. Do not push to do everything on your list. Remember, a trip to the amusement park is about enjoying and savoring the time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. It is more important that you be fully present for the activities you do than it is to do everything. Take breaks. Stop every hour or so and regroup. Sit down and discuss where to go next. Relax for a moment. To continue to push may extend small legs or tired feet beyond their limits can create unhappy children who resist the push to move on and finish. Don't attempt to do everything together. It's okay to split up as long as an adult accompanies each child. You don't have to do everything together as a complete family. Different people have different interests. Allow opportunities for each person to experience activities without insisting others participate. Look for chances to have one-on-one time with each of your children. The experiences of each individual will add life and energy to the family as they are shared and talked about later. Share the maps. Amusement parks have hand held maps they distribute at information centers. Large maps are posted along the route with arrows that show direction. Let your children be the guide for part of the day. Give them a map and follow their lead. Go in the wrong direction if necessary. This can be a useful learning experience for your children as long as you don't make them wrong for their decisions or say, "I told you so." Do not force children to experience anything they feel is not right for them. Some children are afraid of heights. Others do not like to be scared of prefer quiet activities. Still others dislike rides that make them dizzy. Respect the wishes of your family members in this area. Insist that all family members respect the choices of each individual person. Name calling such as sissy, scaredy cat, chicken, and wimp are not allowed. Get your needs met too. Do some things you like. Refuse to go on rides you detest. Tell your children, "This doesn't feel good to me. I don't enjoy getting frightened that much." Refuse to cave into peer pressure and model for your children knowing what is right for you and sticking to it. Allow children to change their minds. Sometimes a ride looks a lot different close up than it did on the map. So what if you walked 15 minutes to get to it? Make it OK for the child to make a new choice. Have a plan for getting separated from the group. Teach your children what to do if they get lost. Encourage them to look for the helpers. Point out security guards, park employees and teach your children how to recognize these individuals. Teach them what to say to the helper, "I'm lost and need to find my mom." Have them practice saying that to you and pointing out who they would go to if they were separated. Once your trip to the amusement park is complete, come together as a family and discuss it. Look at pictures together and reflect on what each person remembers about that moment. Talk about most and least favorite activities. Consider adjustments that would make the next family adventure smoother and more enjoyable. Record them so you have them for next time. Preserve the history of your family outing by putting the photos and captions in a photo album. Place it in the nostalgia corner of your home where you keep the family memories. Look through the album on occasion to build connectedness and remembrances of your best trip ever to the amusement park. Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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Is Food the Right Answer? By Linda Spangle, RN, MA www.weightlossjoy.com The words slip out so easily. "If I eat something, maybe I'll feel better." When you're tired, stressed or physically ill, food is often the first thing that comes to mind. It provides an appealing cure for everything from a cold or the flu to exhaustion after a long day. If you're tired because your body is needing fuel, eating probably will make you feel better. But having an energy drop doesn't always mean it's time to eat. Make sure that you can recognize the difference between your fuel needs and wanting an emotional fix. Hunger or desire to eat? Whenever you start thinking about food, take a minute to figure out whether you're having a physical need or an emotional one. Before you put the first bite in your mouth, ask yourself, "Is this hunger or a desire to eat?" If you decide you are truly hungry, give your body some fuel. But if you're having a desire to eat, catch yourself on the spot and ask, "What's going on here? What's making me want to eat right now?" Then consider how you could take care of your real needs instead of appeasing them with food. If you need to calm down or de-stress, try doing a few deep breathing exercises instead of eating. Give your eyes a rest from the computer or take a break from the task you're working on. Remember that food doesn't usually fix a tired body. So if you recognize that you need rest, not food, go to bed, take a nap or just close your eyes and give them a break for a few minutes. Sip a cup of hot tea or a diet soda and allow your body to relax. Eventually, you'll discover lots of ways to build your energy without reaching for food. Other ways to perk up Instead of immediately reaching toward food when you feel tired or down, do something else first and see if it takes care of the problem. Wait ten minutes When you get a food craving, buy yourself some time by waiting ten minutes before you eat anything. During that time, do something positive such as read to your child or offer encouragement to a troubled friend. After ten minutes, see if you still need to eat or if your food thoughts have faded. Move your body Instead of heading for your recliner after an exhausting day, go for a brief walk or do something else that gets you moving. Physical activity will usually revive you better than lying on the couch with chips and a soda. Get a drink of water Being dehydrated can add to your fatigue or even make you think you're hungry. Drink a large glass of water, then wait 30 minutes. You may be surprised at your renewed energy level. Get some rest Put your feet up, take a nap (a lost art) or take time for a few minutes of meditation or stretching. Start going to bed earlier. Force yourself to rest when you need it. Distract yourself Do something that will take your mind off how you feel. Mentally escape with a book or a shopping trip. When you keep busy, you may find your tiredness lifts without a food fix. Be sure you choose a diversion that fills your mind, not empties it. Watching TV or playing computer games will often make you feel dull rather than revived. Linda Spangle, RN, MA, is a weight-loss coach specializing in emotional eating, and the author of 100 Days of Weight Loss , a book of daily lessons that helps people stay committed to their diet and exercise plans. Her website is www.weightlossjoy.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Changing the Self in Self Esteem By Brain Orchard www.vision.org Self-esteem has many definitions ranging from simply "feeling good about yourself" to more detailed descriptions. These include "actualizing one's own attributes, having one's accomplishments validated by others, and being able to compare one to others favorably." Many social ills have been attributed to low self-esteem, and early childhood development specialists recognize children's need for a favorable sense of self-worth to establish a good social foundation and to connect with the world around them. This deep-seated emotional need is not limited to children, and it is not inherently bad. An influential number of educators, however, have come to accept that if students can simply be made to feel good about themselves, then success in school and beyond will automatically follow. Educators often pursue this objective through programs of self-affirmation, prompting lively debate within the educational community. Many fear that feelings have been given greater weight than competence and character. Experts in the field maintain that excessive promotion of self-esteem can create selfish, unfulfilled people with a distorted self-image. Indeed, the breadth of greedy, egocentric, careless behavior observable in our communities appears to confirm that the current emphasis on feeling good is ill-advised. While thinking for oneself can represent a healthy form of individualism, enshrining the self has served overall to degrade societal sanctions. An inward focus promotes self-tolerance, entitlement, victimhood and narcissism. Each of these lenses obstructs our vision of right self-esteem and its foundation. Just As I Am Tolerance is a critical social lubricant in our diverse society. However, in their haste to promote a virtue, many have misapplied the concept and fallen into the trap of accepting themselves unconditionally: "I must be accepted for who and what I am, regardless of whom and what I am." When we choose to bolster our self-worth in this way, the positive characteristics of tolerance (patience, kindness and respect) are transformed into permissive attitudes that leave negative character traits unchallenged. Accepting ourselves unconditionally is a dangerous aspect of false self-esteem which misconstrues tolerance by rejecting any objective measures for meaningful self-evaluation. Self-esteem and absolute standards are not comfortable bedfellows. Entitlement Mentality In tolerating our personal flaws, we can feel justified in asserting ourselves, defending our perceived rights, and claiming our self-determined fair share. This attitude can deteriorate into an assumption of entitlement: the feeling that we deserve something regardless of whether we have done anything to earn it. The seeds are often sown early in childhood. According to psychologist Lynne Namka, "While it is normal for a child to ask for what he wants, some children are overly demanding and needy. They have not learned to balance taking from others with giving; they view other people as existing merely to give to them." If unchecked, these attitudes intensify and may be manifested in behaviors such as road rage, students demanding better grades than they earn, or corporate executives awarding themselves exorbitant salaries. Attitudes of entitlement have the unfortunate consequence of divorcing both character and behavior from self-esteem. A Society of Victims Self-tolerance and a sense of entitlement produce another malady that is increasingly present in our culture: victimhood-placing the blame for personal inadequacies elsewhere. The growing tendency among many psychologists and medical practitioners is to classify everyday behavioral problems as diseases. In this way bad behavior can be neatly isolated, clinically named, and subsequently treated. Thus an individual is unfettered by accountability for his or her actions. This trend mirrors a broad shift in cultural values from self-control to self-indulgence. I Love Me Individualism holds an elevated position in Western culture and can spawn narcissism-the obsessive love of self. The most worrying aspect of narcissism is the profound disconnection from reality. It promotes extreme responses to needs and desires that are perfectly normal. When the self becomes the center of the individual's universe, disconnection from other people also occurs. The feelings and needs of others take a distant second place, and personal identity is sought within narrow groups that validate self-centered views. The world is viewed from an emotional rather than a rational perspective; personal feelings override distinctions between right and wrong. A Different Kind of Love As society has become increasingly absorbed with the pursuit of individualism, it has lost sight of an important dimension of self-esteem: a standard by which to evaluate the self and its relationships with others. While many people have come to view self-love as the basis of self-worth, at its foundation it is always self-centered. It exists on the edge of dysfunction, because it is motivated primarily by emotions and desires. It loves only because of the pleasure and satisfaction it hopes to gain. In contrast, true and sustainable self-esteem comes from a different source. It is based on outgoing love: a true concern for the well-being of others that subordinates the inwardly directed desires of the self. This love is the core of healthy self-esteem. Brian Orchard is a pastor with 34 years of family counseling experience. He is a father and grandfather and has worked with youth programs in the U.S., Australia and the Philippines. You can read more articles on family and relationships at http://vision.org/visionmedia/overview.aspx?id=96 Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>