Get Organized for Tax Time By Laura Stack, The Productivity Proreg;, Inc. www.TheProductivityPro.com Imagine kicking back with your refund already in hand (yes, the early bird will beat the rush with the IRS) while all the procrastinators out there are still scrambling to dig up old receipts and complete IRS forms. The closer you get to that April deadline, the less likely you are to take the time and care to stay organized and do the job right. If you let yourself get stressed and rushed, you'll end up in survival mode, just trying to make it through another tax year. So, with lots of time between now and April, let's make this the year to get caught up, straightened out, and financially organized once and for all. You can get a head start on the process. By putting yourself in tax mode nice and early, you can DRAMATICALLY reduce the amount of stress in your life down the road. Begin by getting your files organized. I recommend a five-step process, which I call my "5-P System": Purge: get rid of outdated information Plan: map out your system Place: get everything set up Put: file in the appropriate place Purchase: hire out what you can't do Here's how to use it: Purge. Throw away or recycle any unnecessary duplicates, outdated draft copies, and otherwise unnecessary materials before they turn into a huge mess and an intimidating chore. When it comes to purging, it is all too easy to keep way too much. Unless you feel like perpetually expanding your office space, adding a room to your home, or continually buying more filing cabinets, here are some guidelines on what you can toss or shred, anxiety-free: Airline ticket stubs (once the miles have been applied to your frequent flyer account) ATM receipts (once they have cleared your bank) Business cards from others (input the data into your contact management software and toss the cards) Catalogs you didn't request (if you want to buy something, you can probably find it online) Credit card receipts (once you've reconciled your account, toss any that aren't tax related, needed for a warranty, or might be returned) Financial records (anything older than a year should be moved out and stored in archive boxes) Greeting cards (those that serve no sentimental purpose or plain-vanilla variety) Old calendars with "pretty pictures" (donate to a school or nursing home) Old college term papers (how often have you referenced those?) Old newspapers (old news!) Old warranty manuals (for items you no longer have) Outdated policies (if you no longer hold the policy, you don't need it) Stacks of magazines you haven't touched in years (enough said) Plan. Decide what you need to keep for taxes and have a clear understanding of what needs to be saved (and how long to save it): Paycheck stubs (until you are sure your W-2 is correct) Bank statements, credit card statements and bills that document deductions (keep for three years) Tax returns (keep for six years) Warranty info and receipts for big-ticket items (for as long as you own the product) Receipts for IRA contributions (keep forever-it's the government) Investment statements (hold until six years after the investment is sold) Home improvement receipts (retain as long as you own the house) Place. Start a checklist of things that you'll want to have on hand when you file your taxes. Some of these (your W-2, for example) won't be available until after the end of the year, but there are others that you've been accumulating throughout the year. Keep a file folder marked "2007 taxes," where you put all tax-related receipts as you come across or receive them. You might need more (or less) depending on your situation, but here's a list of some documents that you should set aside after the close of the year: W-2s from your employers 1099-INT (for interest earned) 1099-DIV (for dividends you received) 1099-B forms (reflect transactions involving stocks, bonds, etc) 1099-MISC forms (for any income from self-employment) K-1 forms (if you have a partnership, small business, or trust) 1099-SSA (if you receive social security) Don't forget about your deductions! Maximize your refund by making sure that you get every deduction you deserve. You'll definitely want to do some research or consult a professional on this one, but some common deductions include medical receipts, receipts from charitable donations, education receipts, moving expenses, mortgage interest, and childcare costs. One deduction that is often skipped comes from clothing or used-item donations. Whenever you drop something off with the Salvation Army or a similar organization, always get a receipt. The value of the donated items is deductible. Put. Move all old (previous year) tax returns and related receipts and documents to archive files in a safe, out-of-the-way place. I remove all files I want to keep for history (bank statements, credit card statements, charity donations, etc.). Then I put each year's records in a white cardboard archive box, label it with the year, and store seven years worth of boxes in my basement. In my filing cabinets, I create new hanging files to replace these purged files (if I get audited, I don't want my paper jumbled together). Keep only current information in your central filing cabinets. Purchase. Once you have all your documentation assembled, get help! Hiring a bookkeeper is essential for me since I own a business, but I know several people who use one to help with all their receipts, statements, and bills. Your bookkeeper can compile a tidy and professional set of files that will make life much easier when you need to access financial records, either for tax time or otherwise. If you have a semi-complicated life like we do with two working parents, childcare expenses, and investments, it's definitely worthwhile to have a specialist do your taxes. Add in a few rental properties, a business, and education costs, and it's a no-brainer to hire an accountant. Frankly, in our family, doing it ourselves is simply not worth the time and brain damage. Use software. If you use a bookkeeper, he or she will want you to use an accounting software program like QuickBooks or Quicken (non-business version). If you don't use a bookkeeper or accountant, you should learn to use the software anyway. Imagine printing checks right to your printer with a few mouse clicks; looking up payments by name, date, amount, or number; balancing your checkbook without doing any math; never forgetting to enter a purchase in your manual bookkeeping system; and having automatic tax reports generated at the end of the year. All this is possible, and more! Take a deep breath, buy the software, install it, and go through the Wizard that pops up when you load it. Follow this five-step process, and you'll be on your way in no time. You'll be so relieved that you'll never start your taxes after the New Year again! Make it a productive day!#8482; copy; 2008 Laura Stack. Laura Stack ( www.TheProductivityPro.com ) is a professional speaker who helps busy workers Leave the Office Earlierreg; with Maximum Results in Minimum Time#8482;. She is the president of The Productivity Proreg;, Inc., a time management company in Denver, Colorado, that caters to high-stress industries. Laura is the bestselling author of the books Find More Time (2006) and Leave the Office Earlier (2004). Her newest productivity book, The Exhaustion Cure (2008, Broadway Books), is available for pre-order at Amazon.com. Laura is a spokesperson for Microsoft, 3M, and Day-Timersreg;, Inc and has been featured on the CBS Early Show, CNN, and the New York Times. Her clients include Cisco Systems, Sunoco, KPMG, Nationwide, and Microsoft. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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Choosing A College By Ruth Haag www.RuthHaag.com For those who will be a high-school junior this year, and want to go to college, it's time to determine what college they want to attend. Folks often do this by talking with their friends, looking at brochures, and looking at the college's course offerings, but an often-overlooked factor is determining whether the academic and living environment at the school is one in which the student will succeed. If the student is unhappy in the school and living environment, no amount of academic prestige will keep them there. Since the goal of attending college should be to graduate, the living environment is very important. Colleges come in many shapes and sizes, so finding the right "fit" is not too difficult, if you understand the differences. Here, we review the different characters. Small Private Schools Small, private schools typically have 1,600 or fewer total students, or fewer than 400 per class level. They are often affiliated with a religious institution. They have small campuses and normally very attentive faculty. In these schools, the student is assigned a guidance counselor who meets with them and helps them determine what courses to take. The faculty in these schools typically has Master's or PhD degrees. Often the schools require the students to live on campus, and the school then provides dormitories and dining halls. The school takes a very active role in the student's education, and also in monitoring their living and partying habits. A student who has not been away from home much, and who is a bit uncertain about the college experience, can be very successful in a small private school. The main downside is that, since these schools are private, they cost quite a bit to attend. Medium-Sized State Schools Medium-sized state institutions typically have around 20,000 students, most working on Bachelor's degrees, but some working on Master's degrees and PhDs. The student has a guidance counselor, but often has to seek out the counselor for help. The students typically live on campus in dormitories the first year, but often live off-campus in apartments for the remaining years. The student has to understand the college bureaucracy, and "work it." Living off-campus requires more independence. They must be able to pay their bills, and prepare their own food. No one from campus is there to oversee their living or partying arrangements. The range of courses offered at these schools is greater. The lecturers may have Master's or PhD degrees. These schools are typically much lower in cost than private colleges, as long as the family is living in the same state as the school, or is "in-state." If the family is "out-of-state," then the tuition is normally three times the "in-state" tuition. This ends up being comparable to the tuition at a small private school. Large State Schools Large state institutions typically have a student body of 40,000 to 60,000. Students normally live in dormitories the first year, and off-campus the next years. The college may not even offer on-campus housing for upperclassmen. At these schools, the student has to be able to handle large corporate problems on their own. They, and about 1,500 others, are assigned a guidance counselor who signs their class schedule each semester. The student must be able to determine what courses they need to graduate, and be able to schedule these on their own. The lecturers have PhDs, and are assisted by graduate students. Much of the actual teaching, and most of the interaction with students, is done by these graduate students, who are working on their own Master's or PhD degrees. The professors have office hours, and are often helpful when approached, but the student must know that they have a problem in the class, and must take the initiative to find the professor and get help. These schools spend a lot of time trying to make themselves act like small schools, but they are largely unsuccessful. A person who attends a large university must be able to cope on their own. The cost to attend most of these large state colleges is about the same as the medium-sized state schools, if the family lives in the same state as the school, or is "in-state." Community Colleges Community colleges often offer two-year degrees, but some offer four-year degrees. The students live at home while attending classes. The class schedules often allow for the students to have full-time jobs and attend school at the same time. Because the students live at home, the experience at a community college can be more like that of a high school. Most instructors at community colleges have Master's degrees. The cost of a community college is generally less than that of the other options. Students often attend two years of community college and then make the jump to a four-year school to finish up their degrees. The School's Personality Colleges all have personalities. You can feel the personality when you arrive at the campus for a visit. If you visit the school and it does not feel like you, then don't go there. There is one major well-respected institution that we visited with one of our daughters, that we thought would be wonderful. What a joy to be able to say that she had a degree from that school! We arrived on campus and prepared to take the tour. The tour guide was what we used to call "flaky," but we chalked that up to happenstance. Then we sat in an auditorium and listened to a talk given by an admissions person. She also seemed to not "go very deep." We figured it was just the person available to talk that day. Our daughter attempted to talk to people in the department she wanted to attend. She had trouble getting in touch with them, and then had trouble getting any information out of them. Finally, she went for an interview with a graduate from the school who lived in our area. This person struck us the same as the others. This was definitely not a school for us. Walk around campus and feel the personality of the school. You want to feel comfortable there. Do most of the people that you meet seem intelligent and happy? Are they stern? Are you stern? When you stand on the campus looking lost, does someone stop to help you? Do you want help? Or do you want to be left alone? When you happen into the research area and find a researcher, do they stop to talk to you? Are they excited about what they do? We once were standing on a sidewalk at a school with 60,000 students. A statistics professor stopped, asked if we needed help, and then told us all about the school. What a good feeling for us. Find a good feeling, for you. Choosing For a protected environment, choose a community college or a small private school. For independence, choose a larger school. Choose a school that feels right to you. Definitions Associate Degree: Two years of class work, generally four classes a semester. Normally given in a specific job-related field like Environmental Technician, or Engineering Technician. Bachelor's Degree: Four years of class work, generally four classes a semester. Bachelor's degrees are split into either Bachelor of Arts (BA), which emphasizes disciplines such as English and Classics, or Bachelor of Science (BS) which emphasizes disciplines such as Botany, Geology, and Chemistry. Master's Degree: Two additional years of study, past the Bachelor's Degree. Often a Master's degree requires some research work that extends research started by others. The divisions are like those for the bachelor's: Master of Arts (MA) or Master of Science (MS). PhD (Doctorate): Two additional years of study past the Master's Degree. Normally original research is required, and is presented in a dissertation. Underclassman: a freshman or sophomore, the first two years of a 4-year program. Upperclassman: a junior or senior, the last two years of a 4-year program. About the author: Ruth Haag ( www.RuthHaag.com ) helps managers and employees understand the dynamics of the work environment, and how to function smoothly within it. She is the President/CEO of Haag Environmental Company. She has written a four-book business series: #147;Taming Your Inner Supervisor#148;, #147;Day-to-Day Supervising#148;, #147;Hiring and Firing#148;, and #147;Why Projects Fail.#148; Her enjoyable, easy-to-read books provide a look at life the way it is, rather than the way that you might think it should be.Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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Beyond The Blues: Kids and Depression By Dr. Maryann Rosenthal www.drma.com Over 11 million prescriptions were written last year for kids with depression. That did not include those who didn't even see a doctor. Growing up is never easy. It is a time of upheaval and emotional storms. The very openness children exuded and were rewarded for seems to invite penalties as they grow beyond adolescence They are exulting in their hoped-for independence even as they are frightened by the demanding, often-uncaring world of adulthood. During this confusing period, they end up changing from one mode to the other so often and so rapidly that it confounds their parents. Teenagers often turn to actions that provide emotional stimulation to counteract feelings of self-induced emptiness and low self-esteem. All kids get sad or upset about things now and then: getting a bad grade on a test, arguing with a friend, being grounded, or being without a date for a big dance. These temporary disappointments are not necessarily depression, but stress in its many forms and the inability to deal with stress is a major factor in creating and exacerbating the problem. Changes in behavior are normal as our kids try to figure out who they are and what they believe in. Most depressed kids are troubled by who they are, how others perceive them, and what parents, peers, and the world at large expect of them. Researchers believe depression affects 3 percent to 5 percent of preteens and up to 15 percent of adolescents with girls suffering from depression at twice the rate of boys. In an alarming study by Seventeen Magazine, 28 percent of girls said they feel depressed every day or at least a few times a week. Girls are looking to peers for validation and it is often hard for them to retain a positive self-image. Adolescent girls undergo more life changes than boys and for yet unknown reasons, they are more vulnerable to negative life events, while the sources of stress in boys are more commonly school performance or other factors outside of social relationships, such as a move to another home. The good news is that serious depression in our children is treatable but it is often difficult to diagnose. The symptoms may be mistaken for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) causing misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment. What should parents and teachers look for? You really have to tune in and judge the signs of depression against your child's usual and normal behavior. Depression is different from "the blues" because it is longer in duration and more intense. Parents, friends, and teachers are crucial allies in the treatment of childhood depression. Don't ignore your instincts and if you think there's something wrong with your child, chances are you're right. It's a real danger sign when stress becomes too much to deal with and a child just feels like giving up, where life becomes overwhelming and hopeless. If your child experiences two or more of these symptoms for two consecutive weeks, it might be depression and not just "the blues": Decline in school performance Change in eating/sleeping habits Persistent unhappiness Inability to concentrate Irritable or angered easily Aggressive, impulsive, or reckless behavior Excessive guilt or anxiety Withdrawal from people and activities previously enjoyed Physical aches and pains Talk about death or suicide-this should always be taken seriously Tuning In! Fortunately, there are effective treatments for childhood depression. First, you must overcome any discomfort or embarrassment that you might feel about the problem. A real key is to be able to talk calmly with your child about it. Your physician can offer guidance and help with a referral to a mental health practitioner A good mental health evaluation should include discussions with teachers and other family members. Psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy should be part of every treatment plan and may be all that is necessary. Medication can be a powerful weapon against depression but should be prescribed only by an experienced physician in close consultation with family. Medication doesn't work for everyone and may make some depressed kids feel worse. Clinical depression has biological origins and has been linked to an inherited imbalance in brain chemicals, although family environment is a contributing factor. Depression is in part a disorder of relationships. The depressed person withdraws and breaks connections with the larger traditions of which we are a part, such as family, culture, and religion. Part of the antidote is strengthening those relationships. All of the medications and therapy in the world will not help a child if their home environment is a root cause of problems. In other words, depression is a family matter that involves everyone. Nurturing a child's self-esteem and confidence, staying active, exercising, and developing good eating habits can help alleviate stress and depression in our children. It's important that you look out for serious depression and doubly important that you heed the great deal of research that shows that the more family-like connections a person has, the more inoculated against depression they are. Dr. Maryann Rosenthal is a highly respected clinical psychologist on family dynamics and best selling author of Be A Parent, Not A Pushover , recently selected as a book of the year on effective parenting. She is a featured authority on regional and national television and a global keynote speaker. She has been selected by Yahoo! Health, to be a family relationship expert. For more information visit www.drma.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Direction and Discipline; Be A Parent, Not a Pushover By Maryann Rosenthal www.drma.com The truth is, there are a lot of wimpy parents. They don#146;t trust their own judgment. They treat their kids as if they are delicate crystal that might shatter with even the gentlest handling instead of fairly durable glassware that#146;s designed to hold up pretty well if not abused. But here#146;s what you#146;ve got to keep in mind: you know more than your children#151;and you#146;re supposed to tell them what to do . You weren#146;t created to be their pals, their playmates, their servants. You#146;ve got more experience and better judgment#151;use them! What#146;s more#151;and trust me on this#151;all kids know they need guidance from their parents. In fact, they want it. They#146;re probably not going to admit that. To do so would be too much of a concession, too big of a blow to their youthful egos. They like the reassurance that comes with knowing there#146;s somebody who cares for and looks after them. But, understand, it takes strength of will to set and stick with rules. One of the reasons so many parents wimp out and set weak rules, or none at all, is because they lack courage in their convictions. They know they#146;ll get pressured. Teens, especially, will push for a relaxation of the rules without having earned that. Other teens will lobby them to ease up because #147;all the kids#148; are doing something or other. Other parents may suggest that the stricter parents are out of step. Even society itself may seem arrayed against them. But if the parents have thought through the rules and those rules fit the plan, they should stick with them. Another reason parents waffle on setting realistic limits is that they want their kid to love and admire them. That#146;s a worthy goal, but it#146;s wrong to think that leniency is going to achieve it. In fact, there#146;s some reason to believe just the opposite. Some kids, very quick to perceive weakness, may counter with, #147;If you loved me, you#146;d let me stay out till 4 a.m., like Jamie#146;s folks allow her to do.#148; Or, #147;I hate you because you#146;re so strict.#148; Parents need to have enough self-confidence to see through such fleeting#151;maybe even contrived#151;anger and stick to well-reasoned rules. Maybe you didn#146;t have a very good relationship with your own parents. Perhaps they were too strict, and you suffered as a result. Maybe you or they, or both, have some guilt at not having gotten along, of not having come up with a division of power that worked for both parties. But that was then and this is now. Don#146;t repeat their mistake by going to the other extreme. Give your kid a reasonable structure: tough at first, then progressively more liberal as his or her behavior dictates. My advice? If you know you#146;ve been fair and reasonable in setting limits, then gut it out. After all, you#146;re the grown-up here. And this, too, shall pass. Your child eventually will come around to see the logic of some rules, even if he or she doesn#146;t always agree with the specifics. You#146;ll likely forge a better long-term relationship with your teen if you come up with strict rules and enforce them, than if you don#146;t. Sure, there may be some short-term grumbling. But over the long haul, the teen will know you really care and will respect you for investing time and effort in the rule-setting process, especially if you are calm, consistent, and give positive feedback. Dr. Maryann Rosenthal is a highly respected clinical psychologist on family dynamics and best selling author of Be A Parent, Not A Pushover , recently selected as a book of the year on effective parenting. She is a featured authority on regional and national television and a global keynote speaker. She has been selected by Yahoo! Health , to be a family relationship expert. For more information visit www.drma.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

My Child Was Bullied By Another Parent #150; What Can I Do? By Derek Randel www.stoppingschoolviolence.com Eight-year old Becky came home from school last Tuesday and was upset with how Sarah was treating her. The two of them have been friends since they were four-years old. As her father I wasn#146;t worried about the two of them having a disagreement. But what Becky said next just floored me, #147;Dad, Sarah#146;s mom was school today and she started yelling at me and called me a spoiled brat!#148; As Becky#146;s father I wanted to call Sarah#146;s mom right away and straighten this out and let her know that she can#146;t talk to my daughter that way. We have always been cordial to each other but she did seem to be a very strict parent. She can yell at her daughter but I won#146;t allow her to yell at mine. After calming down I began to wonder if calling her and fighting for Becky would really be best for all of us. What other options are open to me when another parent bullies my daughter and what can I tell Becky? I realized that I had choices: I could become involved and straighten this mother out and this for me would be the fun choice. This of course would end up having the two of us not getting along anymore even if our children become friends again. Or I can let Becky deal with it herself after all it is her problem, right? But this might deliver a hidden message that when you have a problem your father is not available to help you and with the teen years around the corner I want her to feel like I will be there for her. A third choice and the one I chose, was to empower Becky with techniques for handling these types of situations. According to our parent plan, (you do have a parent plan don#146;t you?) we want to teach our children proper manners, how to address adults, how to treat others, and how to handle life when things don#146;t go your way. Here are three solutions that can make a difference for both you and your child in this difficult situation. Modeling- The best way to teach any trait is to model it for your child. If you do not want your child to smoke, then it is best that you avoid smoking. Your child observes everything you do; nothing gets by their eyes. If they see you hold the door open for the elderly, then they will learn that this is the expected thing to do in our society. The old adage, do as I say not as I do, does not work when it comes to parenting. Boundaries - We want to teach our children about boundaries. There are many types of boundaries. Remember that boundaries set limits. Here are some types of boundaries: Physical Boundaries #150; You allow someone to enter your physical space. Sexual Boundaries #150; You determine how you#146;re going to be sexual with someone. Emotional Boundaries #150; You determine what you want or how you want to think or feel about any topic. Spiritual Boundaries #150; You have the right to think and believe what you want. Boundaries are all about freedom and recognizing when these freedoms have been crossed. Boundaries give us a framework in which to negotiate life events. Recognizing and acting when our boundaries have been crossed will protect our freedoms. By building foundations based on mutual trust, love, and respect we can expect our children to grow up more tolerant and with mature characters. Simply put, boundaries will simplify your life. Self-Concept - Think of self-concept as a road map for our life. It determines where we go, what we achieve, and how we get there. If our children feel good about themselves, then they will feel capable of achieving success. Our behavior matches our self-concept. Now for the bad news: you cannot give your children high self-concept. High self-concept is an inside job. You cannot catch it from others like you do the flu. But, there are numerous ways you can help build their self-concept. If I had modeled the expected behavior, if I taught Becky about her boundaries, and if I helped her nurture a high self-concept then I believe Becky would have the necessary techniques to handle Sarah#146;s mother bullying her and many other situations she finds herself in. Becky would know to be polite to every adult. She also would recognize when her boundaries have been crossed. Whenever someone crosses into your boundaries you must react but this is hard when so many people do not recognize their own boundaries. Becky knows no matter who crosses her boundaries she is to walk away and get the nearest authority figure to help. The idea that I can and I#146;m able to walk away from an adult is very important for all children. Becky now knows she is nobody#146;s punching bag or verbal garbage can. Imagine how many children would live a better life if they had this belief. Becky also knows that just because someone is your friend doesn#146;t mean she has to stay a friend if she is mean or abusive, or even if you just grow apart. Sarah will have many issues to deal with because of her mother#146;s behavior. Look at the wonderful behavior that is being modeled and the mother does not seem to understand where her boundaries end and Sarah#146;s begin. In our life all of us including our children will run into nasty people like Sarah#146;s mother. We do not have to own their garbage just because they#146;re trying to give it to us. By sharing with your child these simple techniques you#146;re giving them roots and wings simultaneously. Derek Randel is a parent coach who speaks nationally on how to remove the yelling from your home and how to protect your child/student from bullying and school violence. Derek has been seen on many television shows and is heard on radio shows around the country. He is the author of Stopping School Violence and was nominated for a Disney American Teacher Award. He also is a certified stepfamily coach through the Step-Family Foundation. For more information visit www.stoppingschoolviolence.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Rekindling Your Holiday Spirit By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman The holiday season is upon us. And for many it is accompanied by a hectic pace, bah humbug attitudes, and the holiday blues. Spouses cringe at the thought of spending a portion of the holiday season arguing with the family or long hours traveling to have dinner with relatives. Visions of children being let out of school for three weeks, with the weather turning too cold for them to be outside have some parents shuddering in anticipation of long days and short fuses. For many people the holidays have lost their appeal and the reason for the season has become wrapped more in frustration, greed, and disappointment than in joy and generosity. Is it time to rekindle your holiday spirit? Are you in need of bringing some life, meaning, and enthusiasm to you and your family's holiday season this year? If so, it's not too late to implement a few of the inspirational ideas suggested below. 1. Slow down and enjoy the moment. Repeat the following phrase 20 times a day to yourself beginning now and continuing through the New Year. "I relax into the flow of life and I let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably." Do this faithfully every day and you will be amazed at the results. 2. Donate some time and energy to a charity. Giving brings out a special part in all of us. Ring the bell for the Salvation Army, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help deliver food baskets. Your giving will be rewarded with inner feelings of peace and comfort. 3. Make your own holiday cards to mail to friends and family. Involve your entire family in designing and coloring a holiday picture for your card. Agree on a saying or text message you want to add. Take it to a Kinko's or Office Max and have it made into your personalized holiday greeting that includes envelopes to match. 4. Take a unique and creative holiday picture of you or your family. The popularity of the serious family photo used on a greeting card seems to be increasing. As a fun change of pace, why not surprise your family and friends with a unique or silly photo of you and your children? How about a group picture of the family's bare feet or a close-up picture of each family member's belly button with a contest to see who can match the belly button to the right person? The idea here is to be creative and have fun. 5. Bake cookies or bread and make a personal delivery to a few friends. Bake as a family. Wrap as a family. And deliver as a family. The personal delivery adds a connecting link between your family and the recipient. It is an effective way to remember that being with someone is as important as doing for someone. 6. Record five holiday songs sung by the family or kids and send it to Grandma. Grandma, Grandpa, or Aunt Julie will enjoy singing along with your family's rendition of some of the holiday classics. You never know, your family could be the next Partridge family. 7. Give a turkey or ham to five needy families. Find a need and fill it. Your heart will be filled along the way and your children will learn a valuable lesson in charity. 8. Attend a holiday concert or festival of music. Holiday music fills the heart and soul with memories of childhood, friends, family rituals, and special events. Allow your heart to open to the music of the holidays. Let it soothe your soul and let yourself be moved by its presence within you. 9. Make your own ornaments. Decorate pine cones. Shape Play-Doah and let it dry. Make chains of green and red construction paper. Buy Styrofoam balls and paint them with glitter, glue, and string. Decorate cookies. The ideas are limitless; flow with it. 10. Go on a "light seeing" tour. Jump in the car with the family and go on a neighborhood "light seeing" tour. When you get home encourage each person to talk about which light display he or she liked best and have them tell why. Take a different "light seeing" tour each night. 11. Make your own wrapping paper. Trace cookie-cutter shapes onto large sheets of white paper, and color and paint the shapes as desired. Or cut sponges into holiday shapes and sponge-paint designs. Use that paper to wrap your holiday gifts. 12. Decorate a tree outside for the animals. During the winter months many animals find it difficult to locate nutritious foods to eat. By stringing orange rings, apple rings, and carrots and placing them on a tree outside you create a beautiful tree that helps the wildlife survive a difficult time of the year. 13. Give the kids disposable cameras and allow them to take one picture each day from December 1 to January 1. Finding the right picture to take can be a learning process for each person, young and old. Encourage them to search for something that is meaningful about each day on a personal level. Follow up in January by printing the pictures. Each person can then create their own countdown calendar to use during next year's holiday season. Remember, it is you who creates the reason for the season. It is up to you to take charge and make it the holiday season you desire. Happy Holidays! Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They also publish a FREE e-mail newsletter for parents and another for educators. Subscribe to them when you visit www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com . Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. For more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Seven Simple Steps to a Sweeter You By Connie Bennett, C.H.H.C. With the winter holidays here and the New Year on the horizon, it's the ideal time to take stock of where you are and where you'd like to go. In other words, it's invaluable to take a probing look inward and make some moves in the direction of your dreams. Ask yourself: Are you the kind of person you'd like to be? Are you achieving your heart's desires? How can you be kinder, better and sweeter? What traits and skills do you need to develop or cultivate to get to where you want to go? Or let's put it another way: It's time to do some internal housecleaning. Since we're human, each of us can always find something about ourselves to improve. My clients have found that doing this kind of assessing and goal setting helps them to build confidence, achieve inner joy and love themselves. Here are 7 areas to explore that can lead you to personal growth and transformation so you become a person you like, admire and respect. 1) Take delight. Do you view the glass as half full rather than half empty? Do you feel joy, delight and glee when you view a sunset, when you see trees, when your child looks at you with adoring eyes, when you first bite into an organic apple, when you walk down the street, or when you're immersed in a project? Make yourself to look at the bright side of things. No one wants to be around a killjoy so concentrate on fostering that part of you that's childish, innocent, sweet and fun. Become the kind of person people love to be around. 2) Listen with zeal. Do you pay close attention to other people when they speak? Do you care about their worries, goals and fears? Or are too wrapped up in yourself? There's nothing more annoying than someone who cuts you off in the middle of saying something. Challenge yourself to really focus on what people are saying. That way others will want to share with you more. Besides, you'll like yourself better, too. 3) Cultivate gratitude. Lately, giving thanks has been given good play-and not just around Thanksgiving. Being appreciative is something we should do on a daily basis. Have you thanked God or the universe lately for your loved ones, your home, your job, your friends, your innate skills and talents, your material possessions, etc.? If not, begin a gratitude journal or take stock on your computer every morning and/or evening. 4) Get enough zzz's. Lack of sleep seems to be an American hobby, if not an obsession, and I confess, I'm one of the worst offenders. Many of us seem driven by all that we have to do, whether it's answering e-mails, cleaning the house or catching up with a friend. But recent research suggests that sleep-deprived people may be more likely to be overweight. Not getting enough rest also may make you grumpy, brain foggy and unproductive. Even more frightening, sleep deprivation may increase your risk for heart attacks, strokes, colon cancer, breast cancer, heart disease and diabetes. 5) Enjoy quality carbs and real food. One of the most effective ways to become a healthy, energetic, kind, successful, loving person is to eat superior, nutritive carbs (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds) and turn your back on those health-harming culprit carbs. Are you a sugar junkie or a carb craver? Do you grab chocolate, soda or donuts just to get through the day? As my book SUGAR SHOCK!, explains, overeating sugary foods and refined, much-like-sugar carbs (processed breads, pasta, crackers, white rice, etc.) could send you into sugar shock and lead to more than 150 ailments, including obesity, depression, heart disease, cancer, type 2 diabetes, mood swings, infertility, low libido, failing memory and premature aging. 6) Get moving. As we all know by now, physical activity can work wonders. If you're feeling like a zombie-that is sluggish, listless and unmotivated, there's nothing like getting off your derriere and dancing or just plain walking to energize you. It's well documented, as the Mayo Clinic points out , that exercise improves your mood, combats chronic diseases and can even put the spark back in your sex life. So put on your sneakers now. 7) Break free of clutter. The road to self improvement doesn't always have to be complicated. In fact, just getting rid of your "stuff" can give you a tremendous breakthrough experience. Cutting out clutter is one of those simple, but uplifting projects that can quickly bring you to a better place. It is exhilarating and exciting to discard excess documents, old clothes and undesirable doodads. (Guess I need to end this article now to wade through some piles of papers!) Don't these 7 Steps to a Sweeter You sound pretty easy? Don't waste any time-pat yourself on the back because you've considered taking such important action. Now, start moving those goal-setting muscles and select one step to take each day of the week. I'm willing to bet that within three weeks, you'll already become more happy, content and self-fulfilled. So get going-start building the foundation for a sweeter life and a sweeter you. Connie Bennett, M.S.J., C.H.H.C. is a former sugar addict and author of SUGAR SHOCK! (Penguin Group). Her book has been endorsed by many experts, including "Oprah" regular and bestselling YOU author Dr. Mehmet Oz, who says it "spills the beans." Connie is a certified holistic health counselor, sugar-liberation expert, speaker, frequent TV and radio show guest ("CBS News Sunday Morning," "Oprah Friends Radio," etc.) and founder of A Sweeter You Institute. She maintains the SUGAR SHOCK! Blog, hosts the weekly Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show and holds Sugar Liberation seminars. Connie also is an experienced journalist and columnist, who has been published widely in print and on the Web. To learn if sugar has control over you, take the SUGAR SHOCK! Quiz at www.SugarShockBlog.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

The Secret Gift Inside your Child: Eight Ways to Nurture Respect This Holiday Season By Joanne Baum "The Parenting Maven" www.respectfulparenting.com If your child watches television and is able to talk, you are probably being inundated with your child's requests for the amazing things being shown on television. Remember, those companies pay people large salaries to create those ads your child is falling for. They are well done. They are accomplishing their goal. But at what cost to you? It actually helps if your child has gotten one of these must-have presents the last year that was supposed to be soooooo cool and soooooo amazing and it turned out to be different than the commercial. You can remind your child of that this year. "Things are not always as they seem." Explain to your child that "wish lists" are just that, wishes and they do not all get filled. They are for you (and Santa if he is part of your holiday season) to choose from. They may remain wishes. One thing my dad always used to say to me when I asked for things when I was growing up was, "Joanne, it's always good to want things." Meaning: it's okay to want something just know you won't always get it, but it's something you can strive for and maybe earn it over time if you really still want it. I remember one year (and this is showing my age) I really wanted a 3-Speed English racer bicycle. I really, really wanted it. I was dreaming about riding that shiny black bike long before I got it. My dad patiently sat me down and told me he'd like to get it for me for my birthday but that we just couldn't afford it and maybe I could help. I was about ten years old. How was I going to help? But somehow, a few relatives gave me money for my birthday and I was able to chip in. We went to the store together and bought the bike. It was so thrilling! I know I felt proud because I helped buy it. At the time, I hated when my father said, "Joanne it's always good to want something." I hated hearing that because it usually meant I wasn't going to get it. And like every child, my wants were so strong and so immediate, like I had to have whatever "it" was. Slowly, over time I realized that a lot of those things I really wanted, when I didn't get them, and other friends did, I often wasn't as impressed as I thought I'd be, and it was really "okay" not to have it. Or, if I got a less expensive off brand that worked as well, I learned the benefit of shopping for value rather than name brand. Sometimes I learned that when I did not get the item in any way shape or form, that the desire went away and life was really okay without having that "thing" I had wanted so much. Another lesson was that my taste changed and sometimes a short time later I didn't even want "it" anymore. That one line taught me so many things. It's one of the lines I have chosen to repeat with my child only with a longer explanation than the one I received. He still doesn't like hearing it but hopefully he's learning some of the same valuable lessons I learned. So how do we teach our child respect and limits this holiday season? Here are 8 ways to nurture respect in your child: Be honest with yourself about your limit. Share your limits with your child and discuss them so your child understands. Make some gifts together so your child can feel proud about helping and creating a gift for someone else. Make cards together having your child dictate messages to loved ones if he or she is too young to write a message. Listen carefully when your child speaks and tell your child what you are hearing him say to say you. Ask your child if you've heard him correctly. If you haven't, take the time to go over it again until you know you've heard what's important to your child. Teach your child the differences between needs and wants, especially how both can feel very intense but they're not the same. If you can teach your child that, you'll be giving the best gift you can give. Be respectful with your child: talk kindly, be patient, focus on your child, give your child positive messages, slow down to your child's pace, listen for your child's needs, and respect your child's limits. When you treat your child with respect you will get respect back. It follows naturally. Dr. Joanne Baum is a therapist, speaker, author, mediator, and columnist. With more than thirty years of clinical experience Dr. Baum specializes in issues faced by couples, parents, families, and individuals. Joanne does parent coaching in person, via phone or e-mail. Dr. Baum also works as a divorce coach, child specialist, and Child and Family Investigator for divorcing families. Joanne is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Board Certified Diplomat in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Alcoholism Counselor, Level III. Dr. Baum has authored four books including her recent book, Got the Baby...Where's the Manual?!? She has a private practice in Evergreen, Colorado. For more information visit www.respectfulparenting.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>