Reducing Holiday Meal Frenzy By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers www.FreshBaby.com Is it your turn to host Thanksgiving this year? Lucky You! The holiday season can be stressful enough without the extra added pressure of making one of the "big" holiday meals for 15 of your closest relatives or friends. We wish we could give you an "Easy" button for your holiday meals, but the best we can do is offer you a few terrific tips that will help you get through it smoothly! Write down the menu: The best way to get started with the task of planning a big meal is to develop the menu. This can be lots of fun. Start this task with the guest head count divided into adults and kids and before setting the dinner menu, check with your guests about any food allergies. Buy a few magazines or look through cookbooks for ideas. Unless you have a lot of cooking experience, we don't recommend picking all new dishes. It's best to pick a few new items and few stand-bys that you know how to make. Don't overdo it: Holiday meals should be feasts, but you don't need to make an entire cookbook worth of side dishes. Side dishes are often the most time consuming part of making the meal. Select a menu that includes 4-5 side dishes that compliment your main entreacute;e. Accept help: When you call your relatives and friends to extend the invitation, be ready when they offer "What can we bring?" Most people grew up with holiday meals where everyone pitched in. Try to match up people with things they do best. Have a suggestion ready, but don#146;t be too specific. Ask your friend to bring a vegetable dish, not broccoli with hazelnuts in a sherry cream sauce. Or you can ask if they have a special dish and let them tell you what it will be. Adjust your menu accordingly. If your relative does not cook, ask him to bring a no cook item - wine, juice, dinner rolls, etc. Select make-ahead foods: The less you need to do the day of the event, the more you will enjoy it. Most foods can be made 2-4 days ahead and warmed up prior to serving. Many foods often taste better when they have a chance to set. Review your menu and identify the dishes you will make ahead of time and set aside the time to make them a few days before the event. Buy prepared foods and ingredients: It's a holiday meal not a test to see if you can perform the culinary act of making dinner for 20 completely from scratch. Don't be afraid to buy prepared ingredients that will make meal prep easier - canned soup stock, chopped nuts and dates, stuffing mix, etc... If you don't know how to make gravy, buy it. If you are not a baker, ask someone to bring desserts or buy them at the bakery. Get the table ready: Set the table the night the before. Get your serving dishes ready too. Write down your menu items on small pieces of paper and place each piece of paper in the serving dish you plan to use for that food. If you are serving buffet style, set out the serving dishes as you want them for the meal. This organization allows guests who volunteer to help get dinner on the table to be most helpful. About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children and founders of Fresh Baby ( www.FreshBaby.com ). They are the creators of the award-winning So Easy Baby Food Kit and Good Clean Fun Placemats, available at many fine specialty stores and national chains including Target and Whole Foods Markets Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Bailout Plan for Parents By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller www.personalpowerpress.com Bailout Wall Street. Bailout the banks. Bailout the people and institutions that got us in this financial mess to begin with. Is that a good idea? Who knows? Certainly not us. We do not know enough, nor do we claim to know enough, about the current economic crisis facing our nation to be telling people what to do about it. We do not have sufficient understanding of all the interlocking ramifications of doing or not doing a financial bailout. The situation is outside our area of expertise. What is not beyond our level of expertise, however, is what to do about the issue of bailing out our children. We firmly believe it is not helpful to rescue, save, or bailout children for their inappropriate choices or actions that result in natural consequences that would not be a health or safety risk to them. If fact, it is harmful. When you do so, you teach your children they do not have to be responsible for their choices and actions. You show them that the cause-and-effect relationship that is at work in the universe does not apply to them because someone will always be there to save them from experiencing the legitimate consequences of their actions. Do you bail out your children? Are you inadvertently teaching them they do not have to act responsibly because they will not be held accountable for their choices? Consider the following. If you are running lunch, homework, gym shoes, band instruments, or other forgotten objects to school, you are bailing out your children. You are not giving them a real reason to remember the forgotten object next time. Your job is to teach your children a system for remembering. Their job is to use the system. Do you return home to get forgotten shin guards for soccer or a teeth guard for karate? Again, teach your children a system for remembering. If they forget, allow them to experience the natural outcome of their behavior. Give them a real life reason to remember in the future. Why would they ever have to remember if someone keeps bailing them out? Do you give advances on allowances? If so, you are rescuing. One of the reasons for allowances is to help children learn that if they spend it all the first day, there is no more until next week. You are depriving children of the opportunity to learn an important lesson when you bail them out. Allow them to deal with the outcomes of their spending, saving, or budgeting choices. Are you a rescuer with your child's homework? Do you care more than they do? To step out of the rescuer role, be available to help with homework, set a study time and create a study place. Once again, your job is to create the structure. Their job is to use it. If they come to you at 9 p.m. and inform you they need a poster board for a project, resist the urge to jump in the car and drive all over town trying to find one. Procrastination on their part does not necessitate an emergency on your part. Allow them to experience the consequences. When your teen gets in over her head with a cell phone bill, parking tickets, or lack of gas for her car, rejoice. She now has the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson about the importance of keeping control of her spending behavior. Allow her to learn the lesson. If she doesn't learn it now, she will have to learn it later when the stakes are higher. Debrief the situation with her and help her create a system for keeping track of her spending. This will come in handy when she goes off to college and someone offers her a free T-shirt if she accepts a credit card. Better to learn this lesson now rather than later. Did your son visit an inappropriate Web site on your computer? If so, it is time to remind him that opportunity equals responsibility. When responsibility in using the computer goes down, so does the opportunity to use it. Hold him accountable so he can experience the consequences before he gets another opportunity to use the computer. Then increase your level of monitoring and reset your Internet safety programs. If your child accidentally breaks a neighbor's window with a football, help her create a plan for paying for it. Help her learn that her actions produce results and that she is responsible for the results she creates. If you bail her out by paying for the window without having a payment plan in place, you teach her that she doesn't have to be responsible for her actions. Resist the urge to bailout your children regardless of what you see modeled in our culture or government. When you regularly hold your children accountable (with an open heart), they will learn to see themselves as the cause of the results they produce. As you help them experience the direct relationship between cause and effect, they will become more empowered and view themselves as both capable and responsible. We could use more of that attitude today in our government, in our businesses, and in our world. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Let's Be Clear: 3 Simple Guidelines for Airing Grievances Nicely By Winn Claybaugh www.beniceorelse.com I used to believe that if I had a grievance, opposing opinion, or legitimate complaint with someone, I had to bite my tongue to be perceived as a nice guy. On those rare occasions when I chose to speak up, I felt as though I was attacking the person. Since I'm not the attacking type, I learned to keep it to myself, all locked inside. If you believe in a mind-body connection, as I firmly do, you know that bottling things up and keeping them inside can lead to stress, uneasiness, and even disease. In every marriage, you'll occasionally have disagreements and do the wrong thing. To keep from making yourself unhealthy, and to make sure your marriage grows and flourishes, you need to practice being clear. Here are some guidelines. Keep It Between the Two of You In high school, you'd get four friends on "your side" by telling them about the horrible thing someone else had done to you. Then you'd go to that person and say, "You're an idiot, and they all agree with me!" When disagreements arise, keep them between the two of you. Don't allow little battles to interrupt the sanctity of your marriage. It's so easy to divide a household with the tiny, seemingly insignificant comments you make about your spouse. Always Clear Privately If anyone else is there when you share and clear, the person you're clearing with will feel ganged-up on and attacked, and will therefore feel the need to defend themselves. One-on-one feels like communication from a friend and loved one. Two-on-one feels like a firing squad. Stick to the Facts Share only the actions and words that upset or hurt you. Let's say your spouse said something mean or unflattering about you at a party. Unless your spouse always says mean things about you in public, this was just a case being human and perhaps it was an isolated incident. Rather than making the statement, "You're such a mean person," simply describe how you felt when you heard the comments. Focus on Your Desired End Result Decide in advance how the best possible outcome would look and feel. Sometimes you'll be tempted to rehearse a horrible outcome in your mind. You imagine yourself telling your spouse how he or she wronged you, and then you picture your spouse firing back a defense and subsequent attack. As you plan to clear with your spouse, imagine the two of you talking it through, confirming your love and appreciation for each other, and ending the chat with a hug. Your end-result mantra could be: "You and I will be closer for having gone through this. I will honor myself and I will honor you as I clear with you. This experience is for our growth." Winn Claybaugh is the author of Be Nice (Or Else!) and "one of the best motivational speakers in the country," according to CNN's Larry King. A business owner for over 25 years with over 8,000 people in his organization, Winn is the co-owner of hair care giant Paul Mitchell's school division. Winn has helped thousands of businesses build their brands and create successful working cultures. His clients include Southwest Airlines, the Irvine Company, Vidal Sassoon, Entertainment Tonight, Mattel, For Rent magazine, Structure/Limited/Express, and others. Winn is a frequent guest on national radio and a regular contributor to online publications. Visit www.BeNiceOrElse.com to sign up for his free monthly Be Nice (Or Else!) newsletter. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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Families in Nature: Connecting School Children with Nature By Mark Stevens www.luisasnature.com Outings in nature are vital for school kids to appreciate nature and make them well rounded in this computer age. Schools should have science rooms in which children-under adult supervision-can observe plants, animals and elements. A class walk through the local woods is another great way for children to get to know the local terrain. Interaction with nature should take place at least once a day. This does not mean that the children need to take a field trip every day. Once children are inspired to "see" things in nature, they will be creative on their own in the science classroom and during school recess in the immediate fields surrounding the school. To inspire children, school events can range from a small hike along a dirt path, on which the ants show off their busy habits, to identifying trees, looking at growth and movement near and in streams-pointing out the flowers, moss and other plants and animals that live on or near them. A schoolbook that teaches children about nature is good. But the experience is not complete until the kids have smelled and touched the grass, bark, water, mushrooms and insects both in and outside of the classroom. At the end of a field trip through the woods, it is a special treat for the children to take a break in a picnic area to enjoy some of the local fruits and vegetables. This is a great way to connect boys and girls to the earth. School children not only learn about nature but they grow their social skills by talking with their classmates and teacher about their new discoveries and observations. Group and team challenges such as crossing a stream together or finding leaves or nuts in the woods necessitate cooperation and communication. This gives the children practical experience and common sense that they can use later in nature and in life in general. Observing nature takes a fair share of patience as well. To see the habits of birds and squirrels, it is important to be quiet and observant. To wait for a gopher to come out of its hole might often necessitate too much patience. In such situations a bit of luck is involved. But the more knowledge kids gain, the more likely they will get in tune with the animals#146; habits, such as the feeding time when the animals are more likely to come out and "play." Climbing and building outdoors help kids learn about the elements of nature such as sand and stone. Hiking and climbing promote physical fitness. Building with the elements helps advance scientific knowledge to better understand the text in schoolbooks and maybe even inspire the next generation forest rangers and architects. A nighttime outing under the stars can literally open new worlds for school children. Schools can help educate children in nature, so that our next generation can not only appreciate but also better manage the elements of this small world. Families in Nature is written by Mark J. Stevens, author of LUISA'S NATURE (Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing, Spring 2008). Mark is a news journalist currently working in Europe. Fluent in French, Spanish, and German, he has enjoyed extensive travel much of his life. Shaped by the rural New Jersey setting of his youth, Mark continues to explore the richness of nature with his wife and two children on the outskirts of Munich, Germany. He also belongs to several parenting and nature organizations in the U.S. and Europe. For more information, visit www.luisasnature.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Fearless Living By Dr. Santi Meunier www.santimeunier.com Fearless Living is for people who want to live out their dreams, not their fears. All of us are here living at this moment in time for a reason. For some of us the purpose of our lives is apparent. We know who we are and what we want to do and we do it. The majority of us, however, feel lost to one degree or another. We look at those other people with envy and awe. How is it that they are so clear and focused? What can we do to find our way when the only path we see is riddled with fear and confusion? Before we can do anything to change our current state, we have to undo some common, self-defeating mental habits. Stop comparing your self to others. Our ego sets us up by doing this and it is a losing proposition. Judging our insides by someone else's outside appearances is like trying to determine what something tastes like by the way it looks. Sure that may work once in a while, but would anyone eat a coconut based on its "hairy" shell? Realize that no one gets a free ride in this life. We all have challenges and lessons to learn. If we are a good, diligent student we will gain not only knowledge, but self-esteem and happiness. Mind your own business. Many people are so busy focusing on what others "should" be doing that they ignore their own work. This is an avoidant pattern that has to stop. We can care about others, but let them do their own work. If we are overwhelmed by fear and self-judgment, recognize that those thoughts reinforce the very things we are trying to escape. Mental discipline is essential - one thought at a time. Stop operating on "should" and "have to". When life is full of "should" and "have to", our energy drains out of us. When fear has reached a point of immobilizing us we feel stuck and start to procrastinate, which over time creates a vicious cycle of self-sabotage. Stop blaming yourself. Anyone can become overwhelmed with fear. It is what happens next that separates the fearful from the fearless. Staying overwhelmed cannot be an option. We alone are responsible for our lives. Quick Tip: Ask to be a gentle observer. When you find yourself caught up in any of these thoughts - witness it and then release it. We can take back a thought at anytime. Don't just correct it, take it back. Example: "This job is killing me!" Realizing that is not what you want to create say, "I take that back. This job is difficult, show me how to better cope with what is put in front of me." Be still enough to receive any guidance that may come your way. We strengthen what we focus on. Focusing on our fears creates more fear. Because we are all in a constant state of creating, both consciously and unconsciously, it is very important to pay attention to what our mind is doing. Mental discipline begins when we realize when we are focusing on our fears. We can then, "move a muscle to change a thought". Do something! Take an action#133;to break the grip of the fear state. Positive self-talk is very important as well. Listen to what we say to ourselves. Is this thought helpful or not helpful; positive or negative? Breaking free from the grip of fear, and learning how to create what we want instead of what we fear is available to all of us. Make a decision. Is fear going to be in control of you, or are you going to be in control of your fear? Challenge the fear. Often we just let fear tells us what is true without ever questioning it. Start questioning the truth in what your fear is telling you. Do it anyway. Be afraid and do the right thing for yourself and your life. Then you will have less fear than before. The sure fire way to get more fear is to give into fear. It is like the Sesame Street cookie monster, It always want MORE! The key is to begin. No one else can fill your place in the great scheme of things. Remember, the world needs you to succeed and to bring to it your unique contribution. Author and speaker Dr. Santi Meunier is recognized for her unique style and her ground-breaking strategies for personal and professional growth. Her program, Practical Spirituality for Fearless Living has helped thousands to enrich their lives and realize their dreams. For more information visit www.santimeunier.com . Permission granted for use on drlaura.com. More >>

Tools for Getting Through to Your Preschooler By Annye Rothenberg Ph.D. www.perfectingparentingpress.com Preschoolers amaze us. They are learning so much so quickly, trying to make sense of the world around them. Preschoolers' conversations are fascinating as they try to piece information together: Looking for the sugar bugs on their teeth after they eat candy. Insisting that Mommy go to time-out when Mommy makes them mad. Explaining that they can't start kindergarten yet because they didn't meet the "dead lion." Preschoolers are also challenging, because they think so differently. They are often oppositional, impulsive, self-centered, inflexible and illogical #150; especially when upset. They have narrow and literal understanding of the meaning of words and figures of speech. Sometimes it seems adults and preschoolers are speaking different languages. Preschoolers' actions and behavior usually make ages two through four the hardest for parents to predict and understand. In a typical situation, we tell our preschooler to clean up his room and he refuses. He argues when he's told he needs to do it because he was the one who made the mess. He insists that it was his 4-month-old baby brother who left everything out. Or he says he can't clean up because his hand is too tired #150; a complaint accompanied by a dramatic collapse on the floor and a plea that you help. You feel confused, annoyed and clueless about what to do. Preschoolers say no to many of our requests and directions. When we insist, they often become defiant and may get stuck in rigidity that they can't get out of on their own. If we get rigid in response #150; "you spilled the water on the floor, so you will clean it up or no TV today" #150; preschoolers' reactions can easily escalate to extreme frustration and anger #150; expressed verbally ("you're a mean, stupid mommy") or physically (hitting parents with the water cup). When they're stuck on "no," we get annoyed with them and threaten them or force them to cooperate. Then the oppositionality that normally recedes by kindergarten gets entrenched in their behavior. But giving in and cleaning up the water ourselves is not the solution, because children must learn not to constantly challenge, disrespect and disregard our authority. We worry about what will happen when they're teenagers if they don't listen now. Here are six important strategies for success: Phrase your directions so they sound fun and/or interesting. "Pretty soon, it's going to be time to make some holes in the paper cup so we can take it in your bath and play." If you can't come up with anything, you can emphasize something he can look forward to doing when he's done brushing his teeth. Or try having his toys "talk" to him: "I don't want to lie on the rug. I want to be in the box with my friends, green and blue Duplos." Preschoolers love that. You only need to do this about half the time. They often can't stop themselves from saying no, but we can help the "no" to dissolve and become a "yes" by making it easy for them to cooperate. It's also important to watch how you phrase your directions to preschoolers. Most parents say something like "How about picking up your toys?" or "Do you want to come inside now?" when it's not really a choice. Preschoolers are so literal that they hear it as a question, which they answer with "no." Phrase it as a fun and/or interesting request, not as a question. When you want your preschoolers to do what you ask, giving advance notice is respectful and effective: "In a little while, it will be time to#133;" It's best to have routines and regular times for dressing, eating, tooth-brushing, toy pickup, TV watching, bed, etc, to reduce continual limit-testing. When there are siblings in the household, spend one-on-one time with your preschooler regularly #150; at least weekly #150; doing something that's fun for both of you. She should know you're doing it just because you enjoy her company. This is like putting money in the bank to draw on when you want her cooperation. Preschoolers need enough sleep at regular times #150; 12 hours for a three-year-old, 11 frac12; hours for a four-year-old, 11 hours for a five-year-old. Falling short by more than an hour is a problem. Insufficient sleep triggers defiant and moody behavior. They also need about an hour a day of heart-pounding exercise (running after a soccer ball, biking, jumping, etc.).Sleep, exercise and regular meals and snacks are essential to enable kids to control themselves better. You can help them develop these important habits. Preschoolers need special handling and understanding. Adapting our approaches to fit their capabilities helps make family life happier and more satisfying. And don't fear that you'll need to "make it fun" forever. As children become kindergarten age, they become more rational and logical, responding to reasoning more often. Preschoolers are delightful and amazing. Enjoy them. Annye Rothenberg, Ph.D., author, has been a child/parent psychologist and a specialist in child rearing and development of young children for more than 25 years. Her parenting psychology practice is in Emerald Hills, California. She is also on the adjunct faculty in pediatrics at Stanford University School of Medicine. Dr. Rothenberg was the founder/director of the Child Rearing parenting program in Palo Alto, California, and is the author of the award-winning book Mommy and Daddy Area Always Supposed to Say Yes #133; Aren't They? For more information about her work, visit www.perfectingparentingpress.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Handling the Interruption Disruption By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman Do your children interrupt you when you're talking? Does the house seem completely quiet until you pick up the phone, and then your children immediately demand your attention? Have you ever attempted to have an important conversation with your spouse, but the kids couldn't seem to leave you alone? If so, then you're experiencing a common frustration for many parents: the interruption disruption. So what can parents do about this situation? How do we get our children to stop interrupting without sending them the message that we don't want to hear what they have to say? The key to handling the interruption disruption lies in teaching children how and when to speak up. Simply put, if you want a behavior, you have to teach a behavior. Children do not understand when interrupting is or is not appropriate. Nor do they often demonstrate the skills that will enable them to speak up effectively when it is appropriate. They don't understand the power of words and how to use them to create positive change in their lives. To help your children learn to curb the interrupting habit, start with these steps. Step 1 - Create a signal. Before you find yourself in the situation where interrupting occurs, establish a signal or sign that your children can use to let you know they want to talk to you. You might try having them place a hand on your shoulder or touch you gently on the side. These are signals used by many parents. Step 2 - Practice the signal. Practice the signal several times by role-playing before putting it into use. Then have a few of your friends or relatives call you on the telephone when your children are around. See how it works, and debrief as needed. Step 3 - Teach children the difference between important and unimportant reasons to interrupt. Talk to your children about what is and what isn't an acceptable reason to interrupt. One acceptable reason is if someone is hurt or in danger. If your son witnesses a dangerous situation, teach him to communicate it quickly and directly. Give him some starter words that will tip you off that he is communicating potential danger. "Mom, I see danger," "Shannon needs help," or "Trouble alert" work well as clues that danger is at hand. Unless there is immediate danger, inform your children that you will turn your attention to them when a break in the conversation allows. This means that they might have to wait fifteen or twenty seconds after they give you the signal as outlined in step one. Once you feel or see the signal, you don't have to immediately end your discussion and attend to your child. However, fifteen seconds is a long time in the mind of a young child who is working on being patient, so you want to move in that direction quickly. It is important that you practice this scenario, too. If you wait several minutes after getting the signal before you give your child attention, you will sabotage the entire process. Step 4 - Give friendly reminders to encourage use of the signal. Your children will not automatically start using the signal the first time they feel like interrupting. You will need to remind them as they learn this new behavior. "Michael, that's interrupting. Please use the signal we practiced" and "Angel, touch me on the shoulder if you are wanting my attention right now" are examples of ways to encourage a return to signal use. Have patience with this fourth step. Be ready for some misuse and some forgetting of the signal. It is going to take your children time to learn that you have not forgotten them and that you will attend to their need in a timely fashion. Children are used to the world revolving around them, and it is often difficult for them to wait while you meet some of your needs. When they regularly experience having you slowly stop your conversation, attend to their need, and then return to your conversation, they will realize they are still connected to you and that you are still available to them. It may also take time for you to remember to respond to the signal quickly and give appropriate reminders to your children. Keep refining the process until it works smoothly for all concerned. Remember, the end result of your effort is a child who grows into an adult who knows how and when to interrupt. By implementing the above strategies with respect, patience, and understanding we help our children gain skill and confidence when speaking up for themselves. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose . They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com .Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

The Top Three Back to School Tips By Paula Statman www.kidwisecorner.com There are a million back-to-school tips out there and if you try to follow all of them, you'll run yourself ragged before the first day of school. So, I've chosen my top 3. They cover family communication, planning ahead and organizing routines, and safety. Tip #1 This one is a must-do. While you still have a few days before you have to start packing lunches, sit down with your kids individually and ask them, "What can I do to help you have a positive school year? What did we learn from last year that we could repeat or improve upon this year?" Discuss your expectations about grades, friends, behavior, extracurricular activities and anything else that poses a challenge in the coming school term. Address any worries or anxieties they have. They may bring up anything from using the bathroom, to riding the bus, to bullies. Your job is to offer reassure them and have good information handy. Then together schedule future discussion dates on a calendar. Although your kids might protest a little, remember that children appreciate it when their parents stay informed and involved. And these days, given what our kids are dealing with at school, we can't afford not to be. Tip #2 If morning routines have been a source of stress in the past they will likely be again this year. Make up your mind to turn them around once and for all. Organize and streamline early morning tasks and make it clear that everyone must do their fair share. No nagging (you) and no complaining (them). One of the simplest strategies is to do as much as possible the night before. Selecting next day outfits, loading backpacks, and making lunches are all tasks that can be done in advance. If your morning routines are hit and miss, make a solid plan that includes an agreed upon wake up time, showering schedule, and being dressed in time to eat a healthy breakfast. If your kids are young, stickers and charts are good motivators. If they are older and late bedtimes are part of the problem, get a handle on that early in the year. Tip #3 This tip is a combination of proven safety strategies. Your peace of mind about your kids' safety #150; as well as their age and where you live -- has a lot to do with you letting them walk to school. Walking to school as good exercise should be factored in, too. First, rehearse the safety route to school, even if your kids will be walking with adult supervision. Be sure they are prepared with and use good pedestrian safety skills. Take a practice walk or two, noting potential dangers along the way. Find a direct, safe route with crossing guard support, if possible. Be sure they understand and use stop light rules, walk in the crosswalk, and look both ways before crossing. Then, along with those skills, teach them to be aware of their environment and the people in it. Go over how to respond if a stranger approaches them. Don't plant images of scary looking people in their head. Prepare them to act safely if a nice, friendly person asks for help, offers them a ride, or a treat or gift. Also, teach them to stand arm#146;s length from the curb. While having them walk with a buddy is safer, buddies aren#146;t going to be much help unless they are stranger-wise and street-smart. The rule of thumb is if children cannot spot and turn down bribes, it is too soon to let them walk independently. Keep practicing with them until they can. Your goal is gradually help them gain the confidence and skill to navigate safely without you. Paula Statman, M.S.S.W. is an internationally respected educator, speaker and award-winning author. Her practical, positive approach to raising safe and strong children has benefited hundreds of thousands of parents. Paula is a repeat guest on Oprah and the Today Show , has appeared on over 200 radio and television programs, and is featured in publications such as Parents, Child, Redbook, and USA Today.com. The founder and director KidWISE Institute, Paula lives in Oakland, California with her husband and daughter. For more information visit www.kidwisecorner.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Avoiding the Packrat Syndrome By Laura Stack www.TheProductivityPro.com/blog Perhaps your parents said, "Don't throw anything away! Everything has value." And you're still holding on to those beliefs. While necessary during the Great Depression, that type of thinking today will create a society of pack rats who can't throw anything away but desperately need to. The underlying drive behind this behavior is an excessive concern that a given object shouldn't be discarded, as it might be needed later. This behavior can also include excessive acquisition, such as compulsive shopping, extreme collecting, or hoarding free items, such as free newspapers or junk mail. Following the acquisition behavior is extreme indecisiveness about what to keep; the indecisiveness is so extreme that the hoarder completely avoids the decision-making process and ends up keeping everything. Then, the hoarder experiences difficulty figuring out how to best organize all the kept items. Sometimes hoarding behavior becomes severe. Not only can it extend to the office and one's vehicle, but fire marshals have even declared such residences a fire hazard. In one extreme case, a hoarder rented a second apartment to live in because his own had grown too full of belongings. This behavior is more common in men than women. If your behavior is severe -- such as having to create pathways in your home and avoiding having guests -- you can obtain help from a psychologist or psychiatrist. It is not uncommon for compulsive hoarders to also experience tension in all manner of interpersonal relationships, low self-esteem, weak decision-making skills, poor social skills, and even occupational or legal issues. Treatment focuses on sorting items, developing decision-making skills, analyzing unwarranted emotional attachments, and curbing the acquisition of additional possessions. If your symptoms are mild -- in other words, if you're like most people -- the ideas below will help clear your clutter and boost your energy immensely. Unworn clothing, unwanted gifts, ancient paperwork (not needed for tax purposes) -- just get rid of it. If you haven't used it in two years, ditch it. Start a bag or box for charity; keep it in the basement or garage. There are so many worthy causes to choose from: Goodwill, women's organizations, Salvation Army, St. Vincent DePaul, church organizations. Add to your box or bag regularly. When it's full, take it with you to donate when you run errands. Get a receipt each time you drop off a donation for your IRS records. Sell it on eBay. If you don't have an eBay account, set one up on www.ebay.com . Locate all your possessions that have strong resale value -- but are of no use to you whatsoever and are only collecting dust. Take digital photographs of them. International commerce -- what a fun way to get rid of duplicate or unwanted gifts. Turn your junk into money. Write a yard sale date on the calendar. The kids can sell lemonade and get a nice little math lesson about making change, plus a little lesson about earning a profit. Get the neighbors involved, and turn it into a fun multi-household yard sale to boost your profits even more. Donate whatever is left over to a local charity. At the office, keep only one hard copy of final documents. Recycle the rest. If you have a digital version, only keep the paper copy if required by company policy. Be sure to do a daily backup of all your computer files. Keep financial documents only as long as IRS regulations require. For tax returns, that's six years from the filing date. The same holds true for investment purchase and sale records, from the tax filing deadline in the year of sale. Cancelled checks and bank statements should likewise be kept for six years. Shred documents that have become outdated at home and work. Devise a plan to repeat this process at the same time every year; just after the New Year is a great time, when you're in the mindset of making a fresh start. For non-IRS documents at the office, decide how many years that you'll keep things on file. Certain things may have historical value, such as annual reports. But for anything that doesn't possess inherent historical value, get rid of it. You don't need that coffee-stained piece of paper with a rusty paper clip on it. Go through all your files and recycle everything that's now outside your time frame or from the job of the lady who had your office before you. This will also prevent you from having to keep buying more and more filing cabinets, which also helps retain ample space. Again, devise a plan to repeat this process at the same time every year. Look at your possessions through your children's eyes. Pretend what it's going to be like for your children when you pass away and they have to sort through your belongings. Do you really need those love notes from sixth grade? The lock of your mother's baby hair? Keep it. Your grandmother's retro red diva suitcase? Keep it. Do you really need that box of photos from the junior high field trip? You're not even in any of the photos. Your children won't even know who these people are. Do you keep unwanted gifts due to a sense of guilt, simply because they're gifts? Do you have rented storage units to hold all the stuff you never use? Do you have boxes of things in your crawl space you haven't used in years-if you even know what's in there? Worse yet, do you surround yourself with things that make you miserable? Do you keep a "thin section" in your closet? You know-the things you'll wear again once you lose twenty pounds? Every time you look at an item of clothing that doesn't fit, you feel deflated. Your energy plummets as you focus your attention on how fat you are versus finding something attractive that fits your "real" body. Instead, accentuate the positive. There's a reason women burn photographs of their old boyfriends. If you're hoarding tangible proof of emotional baggage, you're sabotaging your energy, not to mention your mood. You're keeping that figurative negativity hovering around your life. Clear the air. Get rid of it. If there's one particle of anger attached to it, get rid of it. Why take up valuable space with outdated physical negativity? Don't keep mementos of failed relationships. If it's a legal issue such as divorce, or custody dispute, keep only the bare minimum of final legal documents that you need. Out with the old, and in with the new. copy; 2008 Laura Stack. Laura Stack ( www.TheProductivityPro.com/blog ) is a motivational speaker who helps busy workers Leave the Office Earlierreg; with Maximum Results in Minimum Time#153;. She is the president of The Productivity Proreg;, Inc., a time management firm specializing in productivity improvement in high-stress organizations. Since 1992, Laura has given presentations on improving output, lowering stress, and saving time in today#146;s workplaces, for companies such as Microsoft, Starbucks, and 3M. She is the bestselling author of The Exhaustion Cure (2008); Find More Time (2006); and Leave the Office Earlier (2004). To have Laura speak at your event, call 303-471-7401. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>